Introduction:
A. Allow me to begin with a short poem by Michael Hodgin:
Child-raising theories did abound, before my children were around.
Then one day I had my own, now all those theories I disown.
Energy was once my friend, now I am at my strength’s end.
Fortune gone, the fridge is clean, my child has now become a teen!
B. So many of us have “been there, done that.” Amen?
1. I don’t have to tell you that raising children is a challenge.
2. Certainly, it is difficult to raise kids in today’s world, but it has been difficult to raise them since the very beginning…just ask Adam and Eve…you try raising Cain!
3. One mother was considering her plight in life. She said to herself, “I guess if it was going to be easy, it would not have started with something called ‘labor’.”
4. I have a cartoon that shows a young mother asking the reference librarian where to find a book. The librarian is pointing as she answers, “If you are looking for the book on how to have perfect children, it is in the fiction section.”
C. Last week we talked about being faithful in marriage, and I really tried to approach the subject realistically and compassionately.
1. I hope to do the same with today’s subject about faithful parenting.
2. None of us are perfect parents, and we will never be perfect, but we can aim to be faithful.
3. Some of us are really struggling with this task of parenting, while others are having a much easier time of it.
4. How difficult or easy a time we have in parenting is dependent upon a myriad of things; some we have control over and some we do not.
D. Someone has said that raising children is like cooking. If you want something to come out well, you have to follow the recipe and you must not skimp on the ingredients.
1. I wish it were that simple and straightforward.
2. We all appreciate the fact that if you have a great cake recipe, and are careful to use the same ingredients and follow the same directions, the cake will come out equally as well every time.
3. That is not the case with raising children.
4. Every child is unique, having their own temperaments and we parents are never exactly the same as parents – from day to day and year to year.
5. Therefore, we are always amazed at how kids can grow up in the same home, with the same parents, and yet they turn out so differently and uniquely.
E. Nevertheless, even though parenting is not exactly like cooking, there are some similarities.
1. We do need a good and tested recipe to follow.
2. And we do need to try to be consistent as we follow the directions.
3. The very best directions we have for parenting come from God himself.
4. So, what I would like to do with the rest of our time this morning, is to review some directions for parenting that we find in Scripture.
5. Keep in mind that I do not consider myself an expert in this area, rather I am just a Christian parent like the rest of you, who is trying to do the best that I can with God’s help.
6. I’ve been a parent now for about 20 years, and I consider it one of the most important and fulfilling things that God has allowed me to be a part of.
7. I know that one sermon won’t solve all our parenting woes, but I hope that something I say may enable us to be a little more focused and intentional in our parenting.
F. The text that I have chosen to work with today is not a traditional parenting text.
1. You might have expected a text like Proverbs 22:6, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”
2. Or Ephesians 6:4, “Fathers do not exasperate your children; instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
3. Obviously, those are wonderful texts, but I would like us to focus on a few verses from 1 Thessalonians 2.
4. Paul wrote these verses to describe the kind of leader that he had been with the Thessalonians.
5. He was not actually trying to give them, nor us, a model of parenting, but that is exactly what he ended up doing.
6. He said, “We were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children.” (vs. 7) And, “For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting, and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.” (vs. 11-12)
7. As we look at this text, let’s try to draw two things out of it. First, the target of faithful parents, and second, the tactics of faithful parents.
I. The TARGET of faithful parenting.
A. The target of faithful Christian parenting is found in verse 12 of our text, we hope that our children will “...live lives worthy of God...”
1. You see, we must never lose sight of the fact that our children are gifts of God, who are simply on loan to us for a few years (they really belong to Him)
2. And for these few years we have both the privilege and the responsibility of bringing them up to become healthy, functioning adults who love and serve God.
3. For lovers of God, since the beginning of time, this is the main thing of parenthood.
4. Deut. 6:4-6, “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up...”
B. Our primary purpose in parenting has to do with our children’s relationship with God - and there are some good and practical reasons for this, besides just obeying God’s command.
1. For you see; If we get our children right with God THEN everything else will fall into place....
2. If we can help our children to seek first God’s kingdom and his righteousness, then all of the other things they need in life will be given to them. (Mt. 6:33)
3. AND when our children “live lives worthy of God” they, as Paul says in our text, get to be partakers, they get to be sharers, in God’s kingdom and His glory.
4. Doesn’t all that sound like a great target and result for our children?
5. But how can we help them reach that target? Let’s see what Paul’s tactics were.
II. The TACTICS of faithful parenting.
A. Paul suggests that good parenting includes encouraging, comforting and urging.
1. Let’s briefly examine all three.
B. First, faithful parenting includes encouraging our children.
1. Encouragement is a powerful tool, one that when used the right way can make an incredible impact on the life of another person.
2. Encouragement can enable someone to hang in there when they feel like quitting, and it can enable someone to dream big dreams.
3. Jackie Robinson was the first black man to play major league baseball. While breaking baseball’s “color barrier,” he faced jeering crowds in every stadium.
a. While playing one day in his home stadium in Brooklyn, he committed an error.
b. His own fans began to ridicule him. He stood at second base, humiliated, while they jeered.
c. Then shortstop “Pee Wee” Reese came over and stood next to him.
d. He put his arm around Jackie Robinson and faced the crowd. The fans grew quiet.
e. Robinson later said, that arm around his shoulder, saved his career.”
4. The word in our text that is translated encourage (parakaleo) means to stand beside, to exhort, to come to ones aid.
5. That’s what the Holy Spirit does for us (that’s why he is called the Paraclete), and that’s what we need to do for each other, and especially for our children.
6. We need to stand beside them and cheer them on.
7. I like the story of the little boy who said to his dad, “Let’s play darts dad. I’ll throw and you say great shot!”
8. Parents let me ask all of US a question - how good are we at encouraging?
9. Would our children say that we are a good encouragers?
10. Did you know that it takes about 10 words of encouragement to undo just 1 negative comment.
11. So, how can we encourage our kids? Here are a few ideas:
a. We can encourage with our presence - Just being with people is an encouragement to them. It shows them that we care, and it tells them that they are important to us.
b. We can encourage with our touch - sometimes a hand on a shoulder or a gentle hug can do more to encourage someone then we can ever imagine.
c. We can encourage with God’s Word – I’m not suggesting that we preach at our kids, but I am suggesting that we remind them of God’s wonderful promises and principles. “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” (Phil. 4:13)
d. We can encourage with our words - this can be done in many ways; we can talk to them in person, call them up on the phone, e-mail them, or send a card or letter.
12. A verse that has always guided and directed me is Eph. 4:29, “do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
13. Encouragement is such an important aspect of child rearing.
C. Second, faithful parenting includes comforting our children.
1. In the beginning of Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians, we wrote, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God...” (2 Corinthians 1:3,4)
2. Our God is an awesome comforter, wouldn’t you agree? I am sure that many times you have found great comfort from Him.
3. But sometimes, we need something else in addition to God’s comfort.
4. The story is told of a mom and dad who reassured their four year-old daughter at bedtime that God was watching over her. One night after they had gone to bed, the mother felt a soft tap on her shoulder. “Mommy,” a familiar small voice spoke up, “I know God’s in there with me, but I need somebody with skin.”
5. Sometimes, the person “with skin” that your children need, is you.
6. There will be times when your child will need your comfort; times when they fall, fail, get hurt, or experience a loss.
7. The comfort we offer at those times shows them that we care - that we love them.
8. To me the word comfort means many things in regards to my children.
9. Hopefully; our home is a place of comfort. Hopefully our kids feel that home is a place that is safe, a secure place, a place where they know they are accepted, where people care about them, a place where they are loved and valued, a shelter, a refuge, a shade from the heat of life, a place where there will always be someone on their side..
10. Hopefully our kids will think like Dorothy in The Wizard of OZ, “there is no place like home.”
11. Now I know sometimes it can be hard to figure out what we are to do or say in order to comfort someone...Sometimes just being there is enough…Sometimes like the scripture says we just need to , “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn...” (Rm 12:15)
12. And one thing to keep in mind as we comfort, is to not act like the way they feel, is no big deal.
13. If it is a big deal to them, then we need to honor their feelings.
D. Third, faithful parenting involves urging our children.
1. I read a story about a jockey who once had an unbelievable record.
a. Just before the end of each race, the jockey would lean forward speak to the horse.
b. A reporter asked the jockey what he said that made such a difference in the horse’s speed at the end of each race.
c. The jockey replied: “I simply quote a little verse in his ear: “roses are red, violets are blue; horses that lose are made into glue!”
2. Motivation is a challenging thing for us to muster in ourselves or in others.
3. Parenting certainly involves motivating our children, especially motivating them to live lives worthy of God.
4. But how do we do that? Even though threatening to turn them into glue may feel like the thing to do at times, there is a better way.
5. So how do we urge them?
6. A key to understanding this, is the meaning of the Greek word in our text that is translated “urge,” it is a form of the verb martureo, which means to bear witness.
7. The noun form of this word is where we get our English word “martyr”
8. So how do we bare witness to our children to live a life worthy of God?
9. Let me suggest that we can do two things.
10. First, We can set them an example.
a. Perhaps the best inheritance we can leave for our children is the memory of a godly example.
b. Now please understand, even if we parents set our children an excellent example of living a live worthy of God, that is no guarantee that they will, but it will certainly be a great motivator.
c. So, let’s do our best to set the kind of example for our children, that if followed will be pleasing to God.
11. Second, in addition to setting them an example, we can urge our children by appropriately disciplining them.
a. We could spend many lessons on the subject of disciplining our children, so let me simply say that we need to apply wisdom and maintain control of ourselves and of them.
b. Solomon, the wise king had much to say about disciplining children. Here’s one of the best: “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.” (Pr 13:24)
c. There’s a story told of a boy who was entirely frustrated with all the rules he had to follow, so he approached his father and asked, "Dad, how soon will I be old enough to do as I please?" His father answered, "I just don’t know, son. No man has ever lived that long yet."
d. We all have to live under God’s authority and disciple throughout our lives.
e. For me, the key for parents in disciplining their children is love and instruction.
f. We must be sure that we lovingly explain what it is that we expect, and in what way the child may have erred, and then if punishment is appropriate that it be just and consistent.
g. Dr. Dobson summarizes discipline like this: At a football game, when a guy jumps off sides, what does the referee do? He doesn’t get all red-faced and begin screaming about the virtues of keeping the rules. He drops the flag and steps off the penalty.”
h. Let me mention another thing about using discipline to urge our children to live a life worthy of God - it only works if we are setting the proper example, otherwise our discipline will lead only to resentment.
i. And let me add that it is so important for dads and moms to work together. To back each other up and not to undermine each other. When kids can divide and conquer they are in control.
Conclusion:
A. As we finish up this lesson this morning, let me share something written by the late Erma Bombeck: “She admits that she was not a perfect mother, just one who tried hard. ‘You know,’ she said, ‘having it all on paper sounds terrific. Living it all puts you in intensive care. For me to sit here and say, I did a great balancing act and I didn’t take anything away from my family…come on, of course I did. I was guilt-laden all the time. I come from that generation where we elevated guilt to a sacrament. Something we gave our kids that is really very precious is that we gave them stability. They had a couple who loved one another and who kept it all together. She was prouder of her success as a mother than of any other accomplishment. ‘Someday,’ she wrote, ‘when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a mother, I’ll tell them: I loved you enough to bug you about where you were going, with whom and what time you would get home. I loved you enough to insist you buy a bike with your own money. But most of all I loved you enough to say no when you hated me for it. That was the hardest part of all.’ ”
B. Parenting is a high calling and a very hard calling.
C. Maybe today you are feeling pretty encouraged about your parenting – maybe you feel like you’ve been doing a good job and your children seem to be doing well. (Then Praise God.)
D. On the other hand, maybe you are feeling pretty discouraged about your parenting – perhaps you have made many mistakes or your children don’t seem to be doing very well. (Praise God anyhow.)
E. Satan would have you beat yourself up for your mistakes, and give up on trying to do better.
F. God, of course, would want something much different for you.
G. God would have us experience His cleansing of our hearts, minds and souls.
H. God would have us take charge of the present, rather than live in the regret of the past.
I. God would have us apply the wisdom and strength that he offers that we might live a life worthy of the Lord and teach our children to do the same.
J. Lord, teach us to be faithful in parenting!
K. The most significant thing we can do for our children is to make sure that our lives are right with God.
L. If we can help you do that today, then come as we stand and sing.
