HOW TO SAY “NO”
Genesis 39:1-23
S: Temptation
C: Purity in the face of temptation
Pr: WE CAN SAY “NO.”
Type: Narrative
PA: How is the change to be observed?
• Don’t blame others (including the devil).
• Make the choice to say “no.”
• Don’t play around with sin.
Version: ESV
RMBC 20 November 05 AM
INTRODUCTION:
Bring the children up (and dismiss to Primary and Jr. Church afterwards).
ILL Temptation: Cookies in Frog and Toad Together
Toad baked some cookies. “These cookies smell very good,” said Toad. He ate one. “And they taste even better,” he said. Toad ran to Frog’s house. “Frog, Frog,” cried Toad, “taste these cookies that I have made.” Frog ate one of the cookies, “These are the best cookies I have ever eaten!” said Frog. Frog and Toad ate many cookies, one after another. “You know, Toad,” said Frog, with his mouth full, “I think we should stop eating. We will soon be sick.” “You are right,” said Toad. “Let us eat one last cookie, and then we will stop.” Frog and Toad ate one last cookie. There were many cookies left in the bowl. “Frog,” said Toad, “let us eat one very last cookie, and then we will stop.” Frog and Toad ate one very last cookie. “We must stop eating!” cried Toad as he ate another. “Yes,” said Frog, reaching for a cookie, “we need willpower.” “What is willpower?” asked Toad. “Willpower is trying hard not to do something you really want to do,” said Frog. “You mean like trying hard not to eat all these cookies?” asked Toad. “Right,” said Frog. Frog put the cookies in a box. “There,” he said. “Now we will not eat any more cookies.” “But we can open the box,” said Toad. “That is true,” said Frog. Frog tied some string around the box. “There,” he said. “Now we will not eat any more cookies.” “But we can cut the string and open the box.” said Toad. “That is true,” said Frog. Frog got a ladder. He put the box up on a high shelf. “There,” said Frog. “Now we will not eat any more cookies.” “But we can climb the ladder and take the box down from the shelf and cut the string and open the box,” said Toad. “That is true,” said Frog. Frog climbed the ladder and took the box down from the shelf. He cut the string and opened the box. Frog took the box outside. He shouted in a loud voice. “Hey, birds, here are cookies!” Birds came from everywhere. They picked up all the cookies in their beaks and flew away. “Now we have no more cookies to eat,” said Toad sadly. “Not even one.” “Yes,” said Frog, “but we have lots and lots of willpower.” “You may keep it all, Frog,” said Toad. “I am going home now to bake a cake.”
What do you think of that story?
Who had better willpower – Frog or Toad?
What problem does Toad have?
Are you ever tempted to do something you know you shouldn’t do?
We do know that God can help us and we know that God has given us the ability to say “no” to things that should not be done.
Are you good at beating temptation?
One of my favorite quotes about temptation comes from Oscar Wilde, when he said, “I can resist everything except temptation.”
NARRATIVE:
Our story today comes from Genesis 39 (which you will find printed out after the outline if you need it), but for the time being I would like you to hear the story told.
It is about a man that faced temptation.
He was a man that was…
1. Trapped, sold and stuck.
Joseph had been known as a dreamer.
He had wonderful dreams that showed God was doing something great in his life.
The dreams showed that he would be a man of power, that even his brothers would recognize and bow to.
The problem is that when you have these kind of dreams, they can make you kind of arrogant.
And when you tell all your older brothers (there were 10 of them), the news does not go over big!
In fact, his arrogant message made them so angry that they decided to get rid of the dreamer.
They trapped him in a cistern, sold him to some slave traders, and concocted a story to tell their dad.
This, of course had been every humbling for Joseph.
Rejected by your brothers and becoming a common slave can really affect your outlook on life.
Trapped, sold and stuck…
Joseph was sold again to someone called Potiphar.
Potiphar was probably not his real name, but rather a title like Pharaoh or Pastor or Doctor.
Potiphar would have been a very high officer or minister in the ranks of Pharaoh.
And for Potiphar, Joseph ended up being a bargain.
There is no doubt that Joseph had a lot of time to think on his way to Egypt.
And it is plain to see that he decided to make the best he could out of a lousy situation.
When he went to work for Potiphar, he did his best.
And it was noticed.
Not only that, the Lord was blessing everything he touched.
So Potiphar had some words about him…
2. Move him up!
Joseph became his right-hand man.
He was in charge of everything at Potiphar’s house – the running of the house and the farm.
And it was all gold.
The only thing Potiphar worried about is whether to have steak or lobster every night.
And for the time being, it looked like Joseph had arrived.
He had gone as far as the young man could go in that situation.
He was in a place of power and responsibility.
And he was receiving praise from his worldly counterparts.
Considering all things, Joseph knew that God had His hand on his life.
But it is here that we have our first historical report of a “desperate housewife.”
The text tells us that she has her eyes on him.
Joseph was an extremely handsome man.
And as far as Potiphar’s wife was concerned, he was a lion to be tamed.
He was a man to be conquered.
So Potiphar’s wife wants of piece of him and invites him to engage in a sexual liaison with her.
“Come on, big boy!”
After all…
3. “Who is going to know?”
“Come on, Joseph, it is time to do as the Egyptians do.”
And you can hear that little voice in the back of Joseph’s head saying, “After all you have gone through, why not have a little sinful pleasure…”
No one is going to know.
Just give in.
Day after day, this desperate housewife consistently offered herself.
She was relentless.
But interestingly, so was Joseph.
For day after day, he refused.
Not once does he give in.
His answer is…
4. Not today, not ever!
He will not disrespect his master.
Not his earthly one.
And even more importantly, not his heavenly One either.
And Joseph calls it just like it is.
It is wicked.
It is evil (the real word in the text).
For it will not only hurt his master whom he respects, it will be an offense toward God.
This was not some alterative lifestyle.
This was not some innocent experimentation.
This was a sin against God.
He refuses, over and over.
And he stays away from her.
But Potiphar’s wife had another problem.
She doesn’t know how to take “no” for an answer.
She manages t get into a room with him by herself.
She literally grabs him.
You see, we have gone past the simple proposition.
We have gone right into sexual harassment.
And Joseph does what he must.
He gets out of there.
He was not going to be caught doing an evil thing.
But we do have one piece of advice for Joseph.
The next time you run, make sure you take your coat with you.
Because, Potiphar’s wife does not take rejection well.
She is enraged.
She is insulted.
And her lustful passion has now turned into accusing hate.
With Joseph’s cloak in hand, she accuses him of a crime deserving of death according to Egyptian law.
So, how does Potiphar react?
Well, we do know he is…
5. Ticked off!
It is not clear who he is mad at.
Is it Joseph?
That would be natural.
Or perhaps he is angry with his wife.
It may be that this is not the first time she has tried to pull this off.
Or maybe he is mad at himself.
How could he let a good servant like Joseph get into such a compromising position?
I think that his anger may be more at others than at Joseph because there would be a suspicion of innocence.
But Potiphar is stuck.
The accusation is as good as guilt in the eyes of the people around him.
So off to jail Joseph goes, and not (please note this) sentenced to death.
But for Joseph, it was…
6. Not again!
Here he was enjoying the good life in Potiphar’s house, and he is stuck again.
Not only that, he is in jail for doing the right thing.
He had run away.
But even in prison, the Lord was there, and Joseph will prosper (and when you have time, read the rest of the story…)
APPLICATION:
I think Joseph is one of the most intriguing characters that we find in the Bible.
He looks right in the face of temptation, and he has the nerve, and he has the guts to say…”no!”
A lesser person would give in, but he is not that lesser person.
So what can we learn from this?
First…
1. The devil does not make you do it (James 1:13-15).
Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am being tempted by God," for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.
When it comes to giving into temptation, we like to play the blame game.
“It is not our fault.”
In fact, we would rather rearrange our thinking to accommodate our sin.
“It was too hard.”
“It was too strong for me to resist.”
“No one else is going through what I’m going through.”
“There was no way out.”
“I had to give in.”
ILL Blame: Greenfield in Newsweek
I like what the late Meg Greenfield said in Newsweek several years go about Eve offering up excuses…
…our ancestor Eve hardly began to scratch the surface of all the extenuations that would be available to her today, extenuations that would surely be rendered up in her defense by nightfall on TV by her partisans. She was lonely (could you blame her?). The terms of the Eden deal had not been fully and properly explained to her. And, being the first of her kind, she had no role models from whom to seek guidance.
But note what James has written.
It is our fault.
We are enticed by our own desire.
We have given in, not because we had to, but because we had a choice.
We made the choice to do the wrong thing.
We decided to do the sinful thing.
You see, there is nothing outside of our control when it comes to temptation and sin…
2. WE CAN SAY “NO” (I Corinthians 10:13).
Note what the apostle Paul says…
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
We are never stuck when temptation comes.
God will supply a way out.
For we can say no.
But, too often, we don’t.
We choose to be lazy.
We choose to be selfish.
We choose impatience.
We choose to linger with our eyes.
We choose to let evil settle in our hearts.
We choose to complain other people.
We choose to be impure.
We choose to be nasty.
We choose to get back at someone.
We choose…
And the fact of the matter is that there is so much that is under our control…
…the books we read,
…the shows we watch and movies we attend,
…the music we listen to and the places we go,
…the friends we choose,
…the websites we visit.
We choose to do things that are really garbage for our lives.
ILL Temptation: Kissing the mirror
There was a junior high school in Oregon that faced a unique problem in the girl’s bathroom. Each day, when the girls put their lipstick on in the bathroom, they’d press their lips onto the mirror in the bathroom, leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Finally the principal decided something had to be done, so he called the girls into the bathroom and met them there with the school custodian. He explained that the lip prints were a major problem for the custodian, who had to clean the mirrors every day.
To demonstrate how difficult it was, he asked the custodian to clean one of the mirrors. So the custodian took out a long handled brush, dipped it into the toilet, and scrubbed the mirror.
After that, there weren’t any more lip prints on the mirrors.
In the same way, every time we mess with giving into temptation, we are feeding on garbage and even worse…
So…
3. Stop playing (Proverbs 14:15).
As Solomon writes in Proverbs…
The simple believes everything, but the prudent gives thought to his steps.
ILL Personal
I had a friend in high school that grew up in a very fine Christian home. His parents still faithfully serve the Lord in their church in.
A very handsome fellow, my friend graduated from our school, went on to college, and was tempted successfully to enter into the gay lifestyle.
It was a choice that cost him. He could have said, “no,” but he did not. He died of AIDS.
You see, we say no, but we play yes.
We want to see how close we can get without going over the edge.
But the fact is, the more we play, the weaker we become.
We lose perspective, and develop desires that are powerful and destructive.
So think before you act.
When temptation comes (and it will come), be deliberate.
Don’t go there.
And you will find, that though it may be hard at first, in the end you will never regret saying “no.”
God will bring you honor and reward.
Genesis 39
(New Century Version)
Now Joseph had been taken down to Egypt. An Egyptian named Potiphar was an officer to the king of Egypt and the captain of the palace guard. He bought Joseph from the Ishmaelites who had brought him down there. The LORD was with Joseph, and he became a successful man. He lived in the house of his master, Potiphar the Egyptian.
Potiphar saw that the LORD was with Joseph and that the LORD made Joseph successful in everything he did. So Potiphar was very happy with Joseph and allowed him to be his personal servant. He put Joseph in charge of the house, trusting him with everything he owned. When Joseph was put in charge of the house and everything Potiphar owned, the LORD blessed the people in Potiphar’s house because of Joseph. And the LORD blessed everything that belonged to Potiphar, both in the house and in the field. So Potiphar left Joseph in charge of everything he owned and was not concerned about anything except the food he ate.
Now Joseph was well built and handsome. After some time the wife of Joseph’s master began to desire Joseph, and one day she said to him, "Have sexual relations with me."
But Joseph refused and said to her, "My master trusts me with everything in his house. He has put me in charge of everything he owns. There is no one in his house greater than I. He has not kept anything from me except you, because you are his wife. How can I do such an evil thing? It is a sin against God."
The woman talked to Joseph every day, but he refused to have sexual relations with her or even spend time with her.
One day Joseph went into the house to do his work as usual and was the only man in the house at that time. His master’s wife grabbed his coat and said to him, "Come and have sexual relations with me." But Joseph left his coat in her hand and ran out of the house.
When she saw that Joseph had left his coat in her hands and had run outside, she called to the servants in her house and said, "Look! This Hebrew slave was brought here to shame us. He came in and tried to have sexual relations with me, but I screamed. My scream scared him and he ran away, but he left his coat with me." She kept his coat until her husband came home, and she told him the same story. She said, "This Hebrew slave you brought here came in to shame me! When he came near me, I screamed. He ran away, but he left his coat."
When Joseph’s master heard what his wife said Joseph had done, he became very angry. So Potiphar arrested Joseph and put him into the prison where the king’s prisoners were put. And Joseph stayed there in the prison.
But the LORD was with Joseph and showed him kindness and caused the prison warden to like Joseph. The prison warden chose Joseph to take care of all the prisoners, and he was responsible for whatever was done in the prison. The warden paid no attention to anything that was in Joseph’s care because the LORD was with Joseph and made him successful in everything he did.
COMMUNION:
Have you been giving into temptation?
Instead of exercising patience, you have decided to tell whoever will listen exactly what you think.
Instead of exercising compassion, you have let your attitude deteriorate into a self-righteous and prideful thing.
Instead of exercising humility, you have pushed ahead with your agenda, perhaps even, in the name of the Lord (you know, a lot of sin has been committed in the name of the Lord).
Instead of exercising godly discipline, you have given into selfish desire.
If you know you are struggling with temptation and sin, I do have a word of comfort for you…
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Let’s take a moment and confess our sin to God.
[time of silent prayer]
Amen.
Those of us that know Jesus are invited to share in the elements of the table.
You do not have to be a member of this church to partake, but we do ask that you have a relationship with Jesus.
If you do not know Jesus, that is, you have not received Him as your Savior and Lord, you do not trust Him with your life, that is, you have not been changed by the message, just let the elements pass by.
Please wait until the time comes when you do have that personal relationship with the Lord Jesus.
We practice “communion” because we are to remember the death of the Lord Jesus.
We take the bread to remind us that it was by the body of our Savior that our salvation came.
He died in our place.
He became our substitute.
We take the cup to remind us that it was by the blood of our Savior that our salvation came.
He died for our sins.
He became our sacrifice.
It is here we rejoice in the forgiveness we have received.
Being led in prayer by ____, let us take a moment and thank Him for being our sacrifice.
(Prayer)
The apostle Paul writes, "The Lord Jesus, on the night he was betrayed, took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me."
Let’s partake together.
____ will now come and lead us in prayer.
Again, the apostle Paul writes, "In the same way, after supper he took the cup saying, This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me."
Let’s partake together.
Permit me now to offer the words to you that Jesus offered to one that was caught in sin…
“Go and sin no more.”
BENEDICTION: [Counselors are ]
Let’s say no to temptation…and when we fail, let’s not enter into the blame game, but rather, name our sin for what it is…an offense against God.
Let’s say no to temptation…because we do not have the choice, it is not beyond our ability when God is providing a way of escape.
Let’s say no to temptation…and rejoice that grace is at work, that even when we fail, God is with us, and ready for the journey to continue.
Now may the God of peace equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
RESOURCES:
Books:
The Expositor’s Bible Commentary, Vol. 2, Genesis by John H. Sailhammer
Articles:
“Temptation: Fighting to Win,” Tom Eisenman, Discipleship Journal, Issue 72, 1992
“Don’t Take the Bait,” Stanley J. Grenz, Discipleship Journal, Issue 72, 1992
“Common to Man,” Donald Milton, Moody, March/April 1998
“From Temptation to Triumph,” Ray Pritchard, Moody, March/April 1998.
“The Apple Looked Good,” Meg Greenfield, Newsweek, December 1, 1997
SermonCentral:
“Dealing with Temptation,” John Hamby
“Joseph in Potiphar’s House,” Robert Leroe
“This Is a Test, This is Only a Test…,” Jerry DePoy
“Temptation! How Can I Resist,” Joel Pankow
“Learning to Say ‘No’ to Temptation,” Marc Axelrod
“Wise Up About Sex,” Timothy Peck
“The Devil Made Me Do It,” Paul Redwine
“Overcoming Temptation,” Stephan Brown
