Lose your life and Win
Cornwall/Montreal
July 9, 2005
Can you hold on and lose what you’re trying to hold? Can it slip away from you, even while you hold on harder? Can you let go and win what it is you want to hold onto?
According to Jesus, the answer is ‘yes’ to each of these questions, and the wisdom of Christ is, once again, counter to the normal wisdom of humanity surrounding Him 2000 years ago, or of humanity surrounding Him today- here, today.
Please turn to Mark 8.34-35. What unusual ideas are here presented by Jesus! Imagine the idea of denying the self- that is incredibly counter-cultural today, for certain. We live in an age and time when we are urged to give full vent to our needs and desires and to deny ourselves nothing. We can have whatever we want, if we can get the credit to do it, and we can pay for it for the rest of our lives, and even after our deaths, through the estate’s settling of any outstanding debts. Jesus tells us that if we want to save our lives, we’re going to lose, but if we lose our lives, we’re going to win them. What is this all about? What is Jesus on about here?
These are very difficult ideas, yet, for us, the whole point is to understand what Jesus said, and continues to say, and to figure out how to apply this to our lives today. Scripture is very practical- sometimes it’s not all that easy to understand the practical side of it, but that’s the quest we’re on and the thrust of our study of the written Word, as the Spirit brings us to further understanding.
Imagine that you are to lose to win, and if you try to win, you’ll lose. This sounds so very opposite to what we’re taught in games. Oh, sometimes, we can hear our mothers’ voices, “It’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game, that counts.” I can hear mine saying that. But, we all know that, deep down, we know that it’s all about winning. We don’t like to lose at spoons. We don’t like to lose at Monopoly. We don’t like to lose at soccer, volleyball, tennis, or softball at camp. We want to win, and if we lose, we tend to feel a little diminished. We don’t go away feeling as good as if we went away as winners. It seems to be built into us.
Because it is so built in, Jesus’ words jump out at us all the more. To win, we have to be prepared to let go and to lose something. Jesus tells us to be prepared to lose our life for His sake and the gospel’s sake, and we will save it, as the result.
Winning and losing has everything to do with how we see ourselves- and it has to do with the subject of humility and pride. We have heard the saying, “Pride goes before a fall,” which is a biblical truth (Prov.16.18). We have heard about the need to be humble- for instance, “humble yourselves under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time’ (1 Pet.5.6). This is hard for us, who are educated to get ahead by our own energy and accomplishment. However, scripture DOES give us a different perspective.
How about what we’re told, as far as how to present our lives to God?
Ro.12.1- we’re to be living sacrifices. We’re to live sacrificially. This is difficult, indeed, but is the call to us. Living sacrificially means that we give up something- we give up us- all of us. We’re willing to lay it on the altar. Like the ancient animal sacrifices, which were total, we are so willing. We are willing to give up anything and everything in order to be where and as God wants us to be and in order to reflect Jesus in all areas of our lives.
However, we like to hold on and not let go. We give ourselves, then take ourselves back again- or take back part of ourselves again, which is the same thing as taking back all.
Let’s think of some situations in which we can hold on to something and in which we can lose by the holding on.
1. What about a woman who has been hurt by a man or men and who says that she’ll never allow herself to get close to a man again? Some do this. Some have been horribly abused physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Are these women to give up and give in and simply go around with a load of anger, bitterness, animosity, loneliness, and guilt for all their lives? No! But some do. They hold on and build their identity in what happened in the past. They will go forward as if nothing can change. But what is the answer? Rev.3.20- notice what Jesus say. Notice what He speaks into the situation. Notice how willing he is to enter, but he waits for the person- the hurt person- to allow him in to heal and change the situation.
2. What about the man in an abusive marriage, who believes he’ll never allow himself to love again? Don’t you believe some men are in these relationships? Of course they are. There are men who abuse and leave women as victims. There are women who abuse and leave scarred men as victims, too. This is the less talked about abusive marriage situation. Why? Because of men’s pride. Oh, there’s that word again- pride- that we have to let go of. So, for someone- man or woman- who has been abused in a relationships- marriage or not- what are they to do? Again, what does Jesus speak into the situation? We see it in Rev.3.20, where he expresses his willingness to come in and change the situation. As soon as we allow Jesus to enter, it changes the dynamic of the situation in which we might find ourselves. Wherever Jesus goes, there is healing. Remember his cry to us of Matt.11.28- come to me ALL you who are heavy laden.
3. What about someone with a dependency? There are many, and because of the nature of the world in which we live, and the standards of society, and the hurts around us, the list continues to expand. What about someone dependent on drugs (legal or illegal), alcohol, sex, pornography, or even work? What is this person to do? Is he/she to simply continue with this hurtful dependency? These control and rule people- they hurt people. They destroy people. Is the person supposed to simply go forward as if nothing can change? No. That would be the height of pride, wouldn’t it? For someone to feel that they are what and where they will ever possibly be in life is a state of pride and self-satisfaction. Jesus speaks into this situation, too, in Rev.3.20. Such have to let Him in and allow Him to go to work bringing the change that is possible. This change is massive.
4. What about the person who is in a job where he is unappreciated by an employer or family, for the effort put forward, and where he feels he is being taken advantage of? What is this person to do? Is this person simply to remain and to allow resentment to fester and lead to increasing unhappiness? No. Jesus speaks into this situation, too, in Rev.3.20. Also, he speaks, in telling us to serve employers as if they are Jesus Himself. Jesus instructs in how to talk with someone who is offensive, which such an employer would certainly be. Jesus has a lot to offer. The question, in each of these situations, and more, is to consider what Jesus, the living Word of God, says about how to be. Does he counsel holding onto the destructive and hurtful situation and saving or keeping the self as the self is currently? Or does he counsel letting go, doing something different, according to His Word, maybe losing the situation, but saving the life? Sometimes you have to lose in order to win.
5. What about a church that has been hurt, and where members have difficulty trusting again? What about such a body where people feel the need to simply hold on for dear life to whatever is at the moment? What about people who feel that the answer is to simply stay in some safe time or place, to not rock the boat? Again, Jesus speaks into the situation in Rev.3.20, where he invites people to open the door upon which he is knocking. He speaks into the situation, too, in instruction about how to respond to leadership. Oh, yes, sometimes leaders hurt or have hurt, but it’s important not to paint all with the same brush. Notice what he declares to us in Heb.13.7 & 17. In churches, it’s important to understand where responsibility lies. If a leader makes a mistake and is hurtful, that leader answers to whoever is above him or her and, ultimately, to Jesus, the head of the church Himself. No one EVER gets away with anything in God’s economy, but has to face God in repentance or judgment. Sometimes humility is spoken of in a negative sense, in this regard. I’ve heard people say such as, “Oh, you know him/her. They’ll do anything the minister says.” And that is spoken as if that is a bad thing. It is not a bad thing- someone has to be leading in a church, even as in a business. There is a leader or group of leaders- but, even there, there is one who is THE leader. That is not thought badly of, but when it’s in the church, and people are vying for control or position, it’s seen as bad, somehow. So, can the church that has been hurt let go of those hurts and the shells that have been developed to protect from such happening again? Absolutely, and that is the call of Jesus. He calls people to let Him into the situation, rather than trying to solve it through human mechanisms and means, which push Him aside. We can try to save a church by holding on, when the answer is to let go and let Jesus take His leadership. We have to lose in order to win. I was reading in “Church Next” by Eddie Gibbs a few days ago, and one short sentence jumped out at me, on page 67- “It is those churches that refuse to bury their nostalgia and dismantle their defenses that will fail to survive.” That really spoke to me. We cannot hold onto nostalgia- we’ve always done it this way- and defenses- if this was good enough before, it still is- and expect to survive and thrive. There are traditions and practices that have to be allowed to go, so Jesus is able to work through us toward a new time and place. A new age- a new world- calls us, the church, to let go and be willing to lose what we’d love to hold onto, in order to save our life, as a church. In this vein, it’s important to trust those who lead- at all levels of the church- again. It’s important to not assume that we, at our level, with whatever little, or lot, we might read and understand about current churches and growth, know what is necessary- we are in a time when Jesus speaks to us in telling us to seek counsel, too. Proverbs is rich in telling us of the benefits of abundant counsel, and that has to come from outside, not from our own hearts, although Jesus will speak there, too. It’s hard, but necessary. To live, we have to let go.
6. What does someone do who has the feeling that he/she has to keep control? This can apply in the work situation, the home and family situation, the church situation, and in many other situations? Is a person to be the ultimate authority for him or herself? What does Jesus speak into this situation? Again, he wants to be invited in, as he declares in Rev.3.20. He knocks and the person is to humble himself or herself before Jesus and give it all up to Him. This is at the heart of living sacrificially. It is ‘letting go and letting God’, to quote the famous Alcoholic Anonymous expression. Jesus wants us to let Him in and let Him take charge. You and I don’t have to be in charge. I don’t- only as I represent Jesus, and show that am I to be in charge. We don’t need to be fighting each other- that isn’t healthy or desirable. We are a body together- all of us needing to be willing to lose our lives in order to gain them back.
This is a huge idea, but we, often, have no idea how much we hold on. Lots of us hold onto a lot of junk, and have to let go, in order to be saved. If we hold on so hard, we can lose what we hold on to.
Jesus is the One who will come into any situation and change it and improve it. He speaks into any situation. We have to be willing to let Him in. Will we? That is the question today. Will you let Jesus into all the situations in your life? Will you let Him take whatever he wants to take in order to give you renewed life? Will you allow losing your life in order to save your life?
