It doesn’t hurt to be nice to people
January 29, 2005
Cornwall/Montreal
In “The Edge of Adventure”, Bruce Larson writes: “Hurrying home after work, I entered New York’s Port Authority bus terminal, briefcase in one hand, newspaper in the other. The usual crowd was lined up behind the escalators that take suburban passengers to their buses. Just as I got to the head of the line, a hard-faced, middle-aged woman came up from my side, shoved in front of me, planted her elbow in my stomach, and stepped onto the escalator. Removing her elbow, I said with elaborate sarcasm, ‘Forgive me. I didn’t mean to shove you.’
“As she turned and looked me in the eye, her face seemed to fall apart. ‘I don’t understand,’ she said with apology and shock. ‘Why are you so nice to me? I was really rude- I shouldn’t have shoved in line like that.’
“I was at a loss for words. The woman had reacted to my counterfeit display of love as if it were real, and appeared transformed. I began to envision this woman as a person who’d been fighting all her life for a place in line. Humiliated by the pettiness of my first reaction and overwhelmed by the effect it had produced, I gathered my wits enough to mumble, ‘It doesn’t hurt to be nice to people.’ Then I ran headlong for my bus.”
How often have any of us been in situations much like this, where we’ve found ourselves in conflict with normal people around us? And how often have we reacted differently than Bruce Larson did, in this true story? This story really illustrates the raising of the bar on human action, as is appropriate for us as disciples of Jesus Christ.
2 Ti.2.24- says “The Lord’s servants…must be kind to everyone…and be patient with difficult people.” It’s not easy to be, yet that is the bar, or level of action, given as the norm, to us by our Saviour.
Another story tells of how we’d all like this area of human life to be. It is from “Going Public with Your Faith” by William Carr Peel.
“The first time I walked into the medical practice Walt Larimore operated in Kissimmee, Florida, I was taken by surprise- by a smiling face. The receptionist stood up, beamed at me over the counter, and said, ’Hi, how can I help you?’ I was impressed!
“I often feel more like a bother than a cared-for patient in medical offices. When greeted by a glass window and a clipboard to sign in on, you can only hope that someone realizes you’ve arrived and will in time call your name.
“Not so at Heritage Family Physicians. The staff greeted me by name and appeared delighted to see me and interested in helping me.
“And that’s not all. If the doctor was running late, and office worker would alert patients of the approximate time the doctor would see them and then ask, ‘Is that okay?’ This said they cared about their patients and realized their time is valuable.
“Ordinary? Yes. Powerful? Absolutely. These common courtesies told patients that something was different about their staff and doctors. They created a foundation of goodwill in which trusting relationships could develop. Over time this resulted in many spiritual conversations.”
Don’t we all wish this was our reality when we visit one of the medical clinics that are part of all of our lives?
Proverbs 16.24- tells us, simply, “Kind words are like honey- sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.” Kind words- so simple, yet so very rare, sadly.
British priest and hymn write, Frederick W. Faber, wrote “Kindness has converted more sinners than zeal, eloquence, or learning.”
Galatians 6.10 gives a great challenge to us, today, in and from our Christian community, here in the WCG (Cornwall/Montreal). We are encouraged/told/commanded, if you will or want it to be at that level, to do good to all people, especially those of the household of faith. There is a certain focus here- two, really. One is to be good doers. Are you a good doer? Are you concerned that your life be one doing good? Then, are you focused on the household of faith as a primary object for your good doing? Are you thinking about how you can do good, especially to the household of faith.
We are family, bound together by something more profound and real than blood. A lot of people- a lot of societies- put a lot of stock in blood-lines, and a lot of people talk about being ‘family’ or ‘blood family’. This is important, without question. But blood is not everything. I grew up in a family not related to anyone by blood- because of adoption- and my family is as real and profound to me as those in a blood family. I met my blood family in 1987, and it has been an exciting experience and journey and I even got to perform my blood youngest sister’s marriage in 1997 and, for the first time in my life, that April day and night, to attend such an event with blood family. Oh, it was an exciting realization.
But, blood is not everything. We, believers, are tied together by something more permanent, more deep, and more exciting- even eternal- than blood, and that is ‘spirit’. Over the years, I’ve had many conversations with people about people ‘in the church’ and people have made comments to me wondering why they should have anything to do with these people. After all, they have said, we don’t have anything in common except the church. To which, I invariably respond that we have the most important things in common- the calling of God, the Saviour Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. When someone is ‘turned off’, that normally doesn’t change anything, but, at least, they have heard a matter of truth.
With this reality, then, Jesus, through Paul, tells us to do good to especially the household of faith.
Are we doing this?
Let’s consider one other passage that gives some structure and form to our needed activity.
Phil. 2.1-4- this speaks volumes to me- always has- since I first read it. I know that I don’t live this as well as I ought to live it. However, I know that this is true. It tells me how to view others. It tells me how to view you. It tells me how to view my family members. It tells me how to view people in the businesses around me and how to view people I run into in life. I have to esteem them as better than myself. That way, I’ll treat them with dignity and respect and won’t be treating them as less than myself. How often have you felt treated as less than someone? It doesn’t make any of us feel good, does it? But when you’ve been treated well- better than you expected to be treated- how does that make you feel? Good, right? Yes, I know this is true.
So, how are we treating each other? How are we really doing in this? When we get down to it, relationships are what our lives are all about, and, in our church, our relationships are primary. Jesus tells us to esteem each other as better than ourselves and to, especially, do good toward one another. How are we doing in these activities?
OK, let’s get down to business and consider what are some of the kindnesses we can be involved in.
1. We have an incredibly powerful tool in all of our homes- the simple telephone. I remember when it was a novelty, but it’s not now and I remember when it actually used to cost a lot to use it, but it doesn’t now, either. I remember the windup phone on the wall, where we had to push a button and wind, like crazy, to get ‘central’, for a long distance call. Now, we have hands’ free phones in many of our homes, and cell phones wherever we go. In Korea, everyone has a cell, and they have cameras and video cameras in their cells- these are teen campers, too- a far cry from what many of us grew up with. Let us not think that ‘then was better than now’ in that regard. We can be in touch with people. How often do you phone someone, in the household of faith, through each week? Who did you call last week? Who will you call this week, to see how they’re doing? We have people who are ‘shut in’ and not able to be here with us, ever or regularly. When did you last phone Giselle, or Omea, or Gertrude, Vivian, or Mrs. Hooker, or the Benedicts? How about Dave Bukovinac or the Taylors? What about Mrs. Dardis or the Krahls or Mrs. Nye or Ivan Grimaldi? Some of our shut-ins never hear from anyone. People say that they don’t want to ‘bother’ people. Let’s ‘bother’ people, OK? That’s one of the things we do. We bother to let people know that we care. Do we care? I hope we do? I believe we do, but is it true that we do? Those who are home-bound can do this, so none of us is ‘off the hook’, as we say, when it comes to doing good. Sometimes we forget that the phone goes both directions- let us not do that.
2. We have another incredible tool available to us- vehicles or public transportation. We can use them in God’s service as we ‘do good to all people, especially to those of the household of faith.’ All we have is meant to be used for God’s service. We read this in Rom.12.1, don’t we? When did you last get into your car to go and see someone of the household of faith? (We have people in the hospital- Mrs. Dinyak.) We have people not in the hospital- all of us, but I’m sure that any of us would love to have a chance for coffee with any of you, as part of being in a family together. Invite yourself- consider the timing, of course. Arrange to be together. Why sit at home feeling sorry for yourself? Those of you who are alone have extra opportunity in this regard. Scripture is clear that those who are alone get to serve God more- to pray more, are not distracted by the realities of pleasing a wife or husband, and can get out there and visit more. So often, those who are alone get into a very selfish frame of mind and do less, rather than more. Don’t allow yourself to be there Those of you alone, take your opportunity- a wonderful opportunity- don’t sit at home every night, but get out and about- visit people- cheer them up- don’t go for your benefit, but for yours. And this is to be true for all of us- the rest of us can’t sit at home and think we’re doing our part there- but we need to be out and about, too- involved with one another in the household of faith.
3. Of course, we can be involved with others, and need to be- ‘especially the household of faith’ tells us that our service and involvement is not just with the household of faith. We’ve become very selfish over the past few years- very much feeling sorry for ourselves as we’ve gone through the changes- and we’ve become insular and selfish. It’s time to break out of that. I was reading Word Alive this week, about the gospel’s going into Mali- and about one minister- let me read…. This shows us how to be- all of us- I’m guilty of being too insular, too. We need to be out and about with the Old Brewery Mission project, and others to offer some benefit to others. The McGill Christian Fellowship offers hot chocolate to students- a good thing- offering the love of Jesus, which they declare. We all need to find our outside projects, but don’t do them to the exclusion of your household of faith. Again, some have gone this way, and abandoned the household of faith in the cause of some other service- this is not what scripture tells us to do. Jesus, through Paul, is quite specific in this, isn’t he?
There’s so much good we can do for others, and that we need to do for others. It’s time for us to get out of ourselves and get out there doing, for others and for the household of faith. Remember our key scripture, again: Ga.6.10. Read it, often, and practice it. In this, fulfill acts of obedience and acts of love, and bring pleasure to your heavenly Father and brother, Jesus Christ.
Ralph Waldo Emerson, American poet and essayist, declared, “You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too later.” This is too true. May you and I be known as good doers and kindness doers and, through these, be making a difference in our world.
