INTRODUCTION:
It is a rare junior high boy who wants to be in choir. Most would prefer study hall. However, as the story goes, Jared got stuck singing in the choir. That whole year was a laugh. First their teacher, Mrs. Johnson, quit because she couldn’t control the boys. Then, they got a new teacher, Mrs. Clay, who loved kids, but sure didn’t know much about music. At the end of that year, the boys put together a musical and performed it at a nursing home.
A month before the musical, Mrs. Clay approached Jared about singing a solo in the musical. She was having a hard time getting anyone to volunteer for it, and she was desperate. Jared, like any average junior high boy, wasn’t interested. After days of coaxing and telling Jared that he had the best voice in the choir, Jared finally consented even though he felt he had the worst voice in the choir. When he sang the boys laughed, but hey, they laughed at everyone, and Mrs. Clay really seemed to think he had a nice voice.
At the end of the year, Mrs. Clay took another job in another district, and the school hired a new choir teacher, Mr. Egret, who was extremely serious about music. He announced on the first day of school that next week they would be having tryouts for a fall musical. Jared, who was still riding high off Mrs. Clay’s comments, signed-up to audition for the lead role. On the day of the tryouts, there were 150 junior high students in the room for auditions. The new teacher called Jared out first to sing in front of all of his peers. After Jared belted out two lines of music, which he thought were pretty good, the teacher burst out laughing. Jared slowly raised his face at the teacher, while the teacher erupted and said, “You call that singing! Give me a break!” It would be eight years before Jared would ever open his mouth to sing again.
Let me tell you another story. There was once a wealthy tax collector whom no one liked or cared for. He was known for cheating his clients and was not by any means a town favorite. Until one day, his world got turned upside down. He had heard that Jesus of Nazareth was coming to town, so he did his best to get a glimpse of this man that so many had talked about. Yet, because he was so short, he couldn’t see, and because he wanted to see so badly, he decided to climb a tree. He watched Jesus as he was walking through the crowds until he suddenly stopped. And all of a sudden, for some odd reason, Jesus locked eyes directly with the tax collector. And then he spoke. He only spoke two sentences. But they were more than that. They were two sentences that washed away a lifetime of sin and guilt. By the time the second sentence finished, the tax collector’s second life had already begun.
Words have an unbelievable power. They have the power to destroy and the power to bring life.
Our text for today comes from the book of Ephesians, chapter four, verse 29. Paul writes, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
Before we dive into this verse, it will be helpful for us to get some context around what Paul has been talking about. In chapter four, verses 17-19, Paul describes the lifestyle of the old person. In chapter 4:20-24, he talks about having to put off the old person and put on the new person, and in chapter 4:25-32, he gives five exhortations on living a new lifestyle in accordance with being a new person.
In each of the five exhortations with regard to the believer’s conduct, there are three parts: 1) a negative command 2) a positive command 3) the reason for the positive command. Today, we are going examine Paul’s fourth exhortation on living a new lifestyle in accordance with being a new person.
UNWHOLESOME TALK TEARS DOWN:
Let’s look first at the negative command. Paul writes, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths.” Paul is trying to emphasize to the Ephesian believers that they are now children of light. Unwholesome talk should not be part of their lifestyle anymore. Paul is probably still thinking about what he wrote in 4:20, “You, however, did not come to know Christ that way.” Or perhaps he is thinking about what James had already written, “9With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.”
Unwholesome talk is a very serious matter for Paul. He goes as far as saying we should not let a single word that is unwholesome come out of our mouths. The English word “talk” is translated from the Greek word “logoV,” which means “word.” It is interesting to note though that “logoV,” is singular. Every word counts because every word is powerful!
Growing up, I have always had shoulder problems. I have had three major surgeries, dislocated my shoulder over fifty times, and taken numerous trips to the emergency room to get my shoulder popped back in. As I was preparing for this message, I began to think about an odd proposal. What if God were to give me a chance to live my life over, but I had to pick between two scenarios. In the first scenario, my life would be the same. I would have a great, loving family, but still all of the same shoulder problems. In the second scenario, my shoulders would be just fine and I could really compete as an athlete again. However, I would have to deal with parents who didn’t really love me and even told me that they didn’t love me. I know that in a heartbeat, I would choose to have bad shoulders all over again. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are what really hurt me.
It is important to notice here that unwholesome talk includes more than just bad language. In fact, it is probably safe to say that the gossip and slander from some of the “faithful believers” in our churches are often more hurtful than the old farmer who curses when he talks.
GODLY SPEECH BUILDS UP:
Christians are not only supposed to stop saying bad things, but to begin to say things that will help build others up. Let’s take a look at Paul’s positive command and his reason for the positive command. He writes, “but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” As a youth pastor, I hear countless testimonies from high school students. I am always amazed at how similar they sound. Large majorities of the testimonies go something like this: “I wasn’t really living for God. I started swearing a lot, and then I accepted Jesus into my heart, and then I stopped swearing.” Don’t ask me why so many of our Christian kids mark their faith by how many curse words they say a day. Nevertheless, I think perhaps the greatest lesson we can learn from these kids is that we as a church love telling people to stop things, but we seldom tell them what to replace it with. Those who struggle with drinking and overeating should replace their struggles with feasting on the Word of God. Those who curse should begin to sing heavenly songs. And those who dance in the club should learn to dance for the Lord.
The adjective that Paul uses for the word “unwholesome” is the word “saproV” in the Greek. It gives the impression of rotten. In fact, it is often used to describe rotten wood, withered flowers, and rancid fish. It is interesting to note that rotten words have a way of tearing people down and making them feel like they are slowly rotting. But Paul, in an interesting play on words, calls us to do just the opposite. We are to use our words to build up the body of Christ. We are to look for those in the body who are in need and encourage them with positive words.
There is just as much power in words to build a person up as there is to tear a person down. Think for a second of a broken relationship in your life. Perhaps it is with a friend, a parent, or another relative. What would happen if you got together with that person, embraced them, and said, “I’m sorry. I love you. Will you forgive me?” Words have so much power.
OUR HEARTS ARE THE SOURCE OF OUR WORDS:
As I was preparing for this sermon, I was reminded of a song by singer/songwriter John Mayer called, “My Stupid Mouth.” If you don’t know who John Mayer is, he is sort of a modern-day James Taylor. In the song, “My Stupid Mouth,” John writes,
“Oh, its another social casualty
Score one more for me
How could I forget?
Mama said think before speaking
No filter in my head.”
I think many of us feel the same way. We know that we shouldn’t utter unwholesome words, but we just wished that we had a filter in our heads to block the things we don’t want to say. However, the taming of our wild tongues goes even deeper than that. Later on, Mayer writes,
“One more thing.
Why is it my fault?
So maybe I try too hard
But it’s all because of this desire
I just wanna be liked, I just wanna be funny.”
I think he’s right. So often, when we say the wrong thing, we apologize and say things like, “I wasn’t thinking straight. I just wasn’t myself. I was tired. I was angry. That’s not who I really am.” However, when we’re tired and stressed and under pressure, that’s when the REAL us comes out. Otherwise, at other times we can fake it. When someone asks you on a normal day what you think of a co-worker that secretly really annoys you, you will respond with a simple, “Oh, she’s nice.”
And here’s where John Mayer is right on. The stupid things that come out of our mouths are NOT slip-ups, but products and results of own desires and feelings. Perhaps its like John, and you just want to be liked or funny. Or perhaps its because you want more attention, or you are feeling angry or depressed. Things we say are not slip-ups, but how we really feel. So, when you are having a bad day, and someone else asks you about your co-worker who annoys you, you will respond with, “Ugh! I can’t stand her.” However, that is not a slip-up, but how you really feel. The stupid things of the mouth are often a glimpse of what’s really deep in our hearts. But the truth is, John Mayer didn’t come up with that idea. The Master Teacher did 2,000 years ago. In Matthew 15:17-18, it says, “17"Don’t you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? 18But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man ’unclean.’ What you say is quite often a reflection of your spiritual walk with God. If Jesus Christ is active and moving powerfully in your life, it is a lot less likely that unwholesome and rotten words will come out of your mouth. Jesus Christ acts as the filter that we all desire. In order for you to have a change of words, you must first have a change of heart. A heart this is ever willing to be consistently transformed by Jesus Christ.
CONCLUSION:
There are people all around that are starving to be built up with encouraging words. People who have been torn down most of their lives. We can help. You can help another Christian see their gift, comfort one when they are mourning, praise one who is feeling low, and pray for others who are in need of help. Words have power! Nevertheless, every word we say either adds or detracts from the body and building of Christ. We can add a building block, or we can take one away. We can build up, or we can tear down. However, some days we feel like we are running on empty…running out of blocks to build up the body. On those days, and on every day, always remember that the Master Builder has an endless supply of blocks to help build his body.
