It’s A Tough Job
10/2/2005 Genesis 49: 1-28 Ephesians 6:1-4
Today let’s look at the job of being a parent and being a kid or teen. All I know is that it is a very tough job to be in either in the role when we’re living as Jesus Christ calls us to live. When a child is born, that parent expects to have a wonderful relationship with that child full of love. We all grow up with the idea that when we have children, they are going to be special and we’re just going to have a wonderful time together.
When we’re small we think we have the greatest parents in the world, and we hope that they will always be wonderful parents. But somehow in the midst of life, something happens to the wonderful kids we thought we had, and something happens to the wonderful parents that are over us. We didn’t expect to end up fighting each other, hurting each other or misunderstanding each other, but we do. We can talk without really hearing each other.
In a moment if you are an adult or a parent, I want you to really listen to what the teen’s concerns are, and if you are a teen, I want you to really listen to what the parent’s concerns are. So often we think about being right and our side, that we miss what the other person is saying. Let’s watch Jillian and her mother (Video)
If Jillian got what she wanted at the end of the video, she and her mother would both lose. So who needs to listen to each other more? Jiillian cannot hear her mother’s genuine concern for her safety and her future. Her mom doesn’t hear Jillians need to be able to talk to her about her social life.
Some of us have had that scene played out in our home again and again. But through it all we are to remember that our relationships to our kids or our relationships to our parents are still to be governed by the word of God. One of the most needed verses we have in getting along with each other is found in Ephesians 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
At times we want to prove that we are right, that we forget we are called to also be loving. The important thing is not whose right or wrong, but the relationship that we share with each other. We find in Philip. 2:4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
The young teen was so concerned with having a good time, that she could not hear her mother’s genuine concern for her safety and her future. The mother was so concerned with her daughter not ruining her life, that she could not see her daughter’s positive traits and her daughter’s desire to have a more intimate relationship with her.
Every family has struggles that it goes through, but God still loves you and still expects a lot out of you. Before you think your family is so screwed up you are beyond God’s reach, I want you to notice the family that God chose to become a blessing to the world. Jacob had 12 sons and one daughter. One of his sons had sex with his stepmother. 2 of the sons became murderers. Another son was known for lying and doing things behind your back. 10 of the sons ganged up on one of their brothers and sold him as a slave. And yet God kept His word to use this family to bless the world.
God wants to use your family to be a blessing to you and to the world. It may not look like that at the moment, and you might be the only Christian in your family. If you are, that’s going to make your job even tougher, but the God that is in you is greater than the difficulties around you. Your attitude makes a huge difference. One of the great cries in the home is that’s not fair or you’re being unfair.
First of all, we need to all get over it. Life is not fair. We are all sinners and that means, all of us are going to cause headaches for the people around us. First we should recognize, if you have any sisters and brothers, you do not all have the same parent. If you have more than one child, you should recognize they each have a different parent. We want to claim that we treat everybody the same, but that is not true, and it is not biblical.
The Bible teaches that each of us has a very distinct personality. Some of us are bent in one direction and some of us are bent in another direction. Some of us have certain gifts and talents, and others of us have completely different gifts and talents. These things affect the way other people treat us and the way we treat other people including our parents and our children. It is unrealistic to think that someone who treats us rudely and obnoxious is going to provoke the same feelings and actions in us as a person who treats us with dignity and respect.
Doing the right thing for another person, does not mean always doing the same thing. There are some kids who you can discipline by taking away privileges or sending to a time out area. There are other kids who need a spanking on their behind or they are going to end up either in jail or dead at a policmen’s feet. We put a lot of emphasis on age when it comes to privileges, but every 13 year old is not at the same level of maturity. Some can be trusted to do certain things and some cannot. Therefore what is right for one is not necessarily right for another. One parent may be much kinder to us than the other one. It is ridiculous to think you will love them both equally.
Our goal is not to be equal to everybody, but to be fair based on who God has created him or her to be. If we look at Jesus, we will notice that Jesus did not treat all of his disciples the same. There is a reason we can tell you about Peter, James and John and what they did, but we have no clue about Thaddeus, Bartholomew, and Simon the Zealot.
Jesus loved them all, but he did not treat them all equally. We need to focus less on equal and more on fair. Are you being fair to your parents? Are you being fair to your children. When Jacob came to the end of his life and was about to bless his children, he did not give them all the same blessing. Their blessing from him, was based partly on their own characters and the lives they were living.
We all make mistakes, but sometimes those mistakes were our mistakes. It is wrong to think everybody else is going to make the same mistake that we did, or that their older brother or sister did. It is equally wrong to think, “oh that could never happen to me.” All of us are capable of doing some really stupid things with our lives, because we don’t fully think through all the consequences.
God has created parents to be parents. It’s a tough job. In other words, God holds parents responsible for shaping the values of the youth. Parents can be friends to their children, but they should not try to be buddies. Parents need a heart to follow God and not follow the ways of this world. The Bible teaches that young people are going to want to have their own way, even when it is potentially destructive to do it.
It is the parent’s job to provide limits and discipline in a child’s our young person’s life. Limits should be firm but fair. It creates havoc for a young person to have a parent with inconsistent rules. We should mean what we say, and say what we mean. There should be a real reason for why a rule exists. The rule should be fair, for your child.
God has created youth to be youth. It’s a tough job. In other words God holds youth responsible for listening to and obeying their parents. Now one of the things that many of you have as youth is knowledge. You know all kinds of facts. You know about sex, you know about drugs, you know a lot about everything.
But the scriptures tells us that knowledge sometimes puffs up, in others it makes us think we know it all. But knowledge is only as good as our wisdom. Wisdom does not come from knowing things, but from living and experience. Youth lack the experience of their parents, and therefore do not see things with the big picture in mind.
Young people, you can have the best of intentions of doing the right thing, but fail to understand there are situations you cannot always control and wisdom would dictate staying away from it altogether. For instance when the rule is no boys or girls in the house when the parent is absent. A youth thinks, it’s a rule of whether or not they trust me. It’s more than a rule of trust. A parent sees it as an opportunity to help you become all that you can be in life with the least number of obstacles.
When you’re tempted with sex, your immediate thoughts may be on am I going to lose this person as a boyfriend or girlfriend if I don’t do it. You should be asking is this worth me not graduating on time? Is it worth robbing my family of income because I know I don’t have the money to take care of a child? Is it worth forcing my mother to change her lifestyle so that she can be there to take care of this child?
Is it worth trying to explain to my child why his dad never came to see him? Wisdom asks the long range questions. Knowledge only deals with, if I use a condom, nothing should happen. It is tough being a youth and having to recognize, I really do need to listen to somebody else.
God wants parents and youth to recognize that He has called them to be on the same team. Parents, its your job to help your youth. Youth its your job to help your parents. It’s going to be tough for both of you at times to be what God wants you to be. Your parents are not always going to understand you, and you certainly are not always going to understand them. So be ready to put love and forgiveness into action. Sometimes the things we do are not done to intentionally hurt the other person even though that’s how it leaves the other person feeling. That’s why we are willing to change our behavior in order to demonstrate our love.
Youth do you realize how painful it is for a parent to make sure you have clothes on your back, food in your stomach, and whatever supplies you need only to have you go to school and either act the fool or sit their quietly and get d’s and f’s because you’re not trying to do the work. Now you may just be plain lazy and disrespectful, but your goal was not to hurt your parents, but now that you know they are hurting, what are you going to do as a follower of Christ.
Parents do you realize how painful it is for a youth to hear you yelling and screaming at them, telling them how bad and terrible they are. Letting them know they’re not good just like their daddy or mother. They rarely hear praise come out of your mouth for the good they have done, or any sense of appreciation for them being in your life. You may think you’re helping them to get on the right track, but you are causing them a lot of pain and they are tuning you out. Now that you know you’re hurting them, what are you going to do as a follower of Christ.
Jesus gave us some direction, when he said, “treat others in the way that you want to be treated.” Now each of you could use some encouragement from the other. When was the last time you said something positive to your parents or to your youth? When was the last time you told them you appreciated them? When was the last time you told them you loved them. When was the last time you did something nice just to do it to make their day.
Jesus showed His love for us, not by insisting on getting His own way, but by willingly choosing to give up things in order to help us out. It’s a tough job to be a youth, it’s a tough job to be a parent. It’s a tough job to be a follower of Christ. Let’s really ask the question, “what would Jesus do.” And then by God’s grace, start to do it.
Sermon Outline Pastor Rick
It’s A Tough Job
Genesis 49:1-28 Ephesians 6:1-4
A. God Gives Us Tough Jobs
1. The Expectation Of Parents
2. The Expectation Of Youths
3. Let’s Switch Roles & Listen
4. Why The Disagreements
Ephes. 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
5. Right Or Loving
Philip. 2:4-5 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
B. When We Listen—Our Eyes Open
1. What About Safety & Future
2. What About The Positive
3. Every Family Has Struggles
4. God Chooses Weird Families
5. Jacob And His Family
6. Incest, Killers, Liars, Slave Traders
7. God Has Something For You
C. Forget The Idea That Life Is Fair
1. We Are All Sinners
2. Brothers & Sisters Do Not Have
The Same Parents
3. Husband & Wives Do Not Have
The Same Children
4. Equal Treatment Not Biblical
5. All Have Been Created Unique
6. Our Actions Help Determine Who
We Have
7. Right Thing Not The Same Thing
D. We Don’t Have To Be Equal But Fair
1. Jesus And The Disciples
2. Peter James & John
3. Thaddeus, Bartholomew, Simon
4. Jacob & The Blessing
E. The Mistakes Are Going To Happen
1. Don’t Assume I Will Do It
2. Don’t Assume I Won’t Do It
F. God Calls Parents To Be Parents
1. Set Your Heart To Follow God
2. Setting Limits
3. Why This Rule
G. God Calls Youth To Be Youth
1. The Role Of Listening
2. Having Plenty Of Knowledge
3. Needing More Wisdom
4. That Rule In The Home
5. Sex Knowledge vs Wisdom
6. Thinking Long Term
H. God Calls Us To The Same Team
1. Parents Are To _______
2. Youth Are To ________
3. When We Misunderstand
J. The Pain I Caused Not Deliberate
1. When I Do This At School
2. When I Do This At Home
K. Jesus Had A Better Way
1. Treat Others As You Want
To Be Treated
2. Making The Choice To Change
3. The Call Is To Follow Christ
