Title: An X-Rated Sermon: Tamar and the men in her life.
Text: Genesis 38
CIT: Selfishness is the root underlying sexual sin; turnabout is fair play.
Thesis: Sin exposes a motive and extorts an unexpectedly high cost, but in spite of this, Jesus makes the exchange for us that we need.
FCF: In spite of our sin, God is willing to pay the price we ought to bear.
Specific Objective: I want the audience to think about the rationality and irrationality of their sin – to realize that sin is not some devil with a pitchfork, but it isn’t really a good deal either.
Before I begin tonight, I need to warn you that I intend on giving you an X-Rated Sermon.
Teaser: Bible is X-Rated
My text is going to be Genesis 38, and the truth is, there are a lot of stories in the Bible that aren’t exactly G-rated. You probably know about Sodom and Gommorah. You may have heard about the rape of Dinah.
There’s a whole book of the Bible, Song of Solomon, that was considered so scandalous because of its sexual imagery that the Pharisees wouldn’t allow anyone under 30 to read it, and the Spanish Crown executed the man who first translated that book, because they thought it was too risqué.
There’s even X-rated stuff in the Bible that we have unwiitingly put into the Sunday School Curriculum. When the children of Israel were back from Egypt spying out the land, have you ever wondered why they were spending the night at Rahab’s local brothel? The Bible says flat out, she’s a prostitute, and these guys just happen to be at her house, at night, when the guards of the city are looking for them. Totally innocent, right? You might have even read the story of Ruth – but I’m going to tell you something you may not have known about Ruth. Remember that part where it says that Ruth uncovered Boaz’s feet? Let me tell you, sometimes when the Old Testament talks about feet, it ain’t always talkin’ about feet!
In short, there are a lot of stories of the Bible that aren’t necessarily meant for children. And that’s ok – because the Bible is a grown up book. It isn’t all candy and milk – there’s a lot for the grown up mind, and frankly, we as adults need to learn to approach the Bible in a grown up way. You may want to keep Paul’s exhortation in mind when you listen. He says “When I was a child, I thought as a child, and I spoke as child, but when I became I man, I put away childish things.”
Grow up about sin!
But, I don’t want to mislead you either – this story, while highly sexual, is not about sex. This story is really more about the hidden costs and motives of sin, and in order to think as a man, I’m going to warn you – don’t get hung up the sex. I think little kids who do peruse this story before they’re ready will giggle and snicker at what’s going on – but if they stop there, they will miss out on what’s really happening.
The Three Xs
o Exposes a Motive
o Extorts an Exorbitant Price
o Requires an Exchange
Indeed, this sermon is really about sin, and sin can be a filthy, disgusting thing. The sin content of this sermon is what is going to make it X-Rated much more than the sin. I’d also like you to remember what is going on by remembering some Xs. First, we’re going to see that sin always exposes a underlying heart condition. The motive it exposes is often the real story. Next, we’re going to see that sin always extorts a higher price than you ever think it will. Finally, I’m going to talk about an exchange that sin requires. So, at the risk of being a bit cutsey, you can remember those three Xs- exposing a heart, extorting a high price, and requiring an exchange.
Like I suggested at first, the sex in this story is a red herring – and I’d even suggest throughout the Bible this is the case. I want you to see, for instance, in the first part of this story what I mean with a guy named Onan. Just to give you some context – remember Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Jospeh? Well, this is Jacob’s boy. We’re actually in the middle of Jospeh’s story – right after Joseph has been sold into slavery, we take a little break to see what’s going on back home.
Let me read to you vs. 1 – 10 .
It happened at that time that Judah went down from his brothers and settled near a certain Adullamite whose name was Hirah. 2There Judah saw the daughter of a certain Canaanite whose name was Shua; he married her and went in to her. 3She conceived and bore a son; and he named him Er. 4Again she conceived and bore a son whom she named Onan. 5Yet again she bore a son, and she named him Shelah. She was in Chezib when she bore him. 6Judah took a wife for Er his firstborn; her name was Tamar. 7But Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the LORD, and the LORD put him to death. 8Then Judah said to Onan, “Go in to your brother’s wife and perform the duty of a brother-in-law to her; raise up offspring for your brother.”
Levirate Marriage: Not just a good idea, it’s the law!
In case you’re wondering here – that wasn’t just Judah trying to find some excitement for his little boy– that was the law at the time. If you want to impress you’re friends you can use the term “levirate marriage” Anyway…
9But since Onan knew that the offspring would not be his, he spilled his semen on the ground whenever he went in to his brother’s wife, so that he would not give offspring to his brother. 10What he did was displeasing in the sight of the LORD, and he put him to death also.
Okay, pop quiz! What was Onan’s sin?
What its not
o Masturbation
o Illicit sex
What it is: SELFISHNESS
For some strange reason that I can’t figure out, the historical interpretation has been that Onan was guilty of a particular form of sexual sin. In German, Onanie is a certain type of self-gratification of the flesh. If you want to think that the sex is the problem – Onan is actually guilty of not finishing what he started. But, frankly that’s not what God is so angry about.
Go back and look at verse 9. BUT ONAN KEW THAT THE OFFSPRING WOULD NOT BE HIS.
Remember what I said about levirate marriage? Tamar was entitled to an inheritance, but being a woman, she couldn’t actually have that in her name. So, the idea was, you give the inheritance to the male children, and she can be supported by them. Sexist? Sure this is nearly 4000 years ago, what do you expect? But, it was a provision for her, and that’s how it worked.
Onan doesn’t want rivals
Onan, being the second son, probably wanted that for himself. So, if she doesn’t have the children, when Judah dies, he gets to play part the firstborn son.
Onan is using Tamar
Now, Onan is trying to play it both ways here – he’s getting what he wants (i.e. sex), but he’s unwilling to give Tamar what she is rightfully owed, namely children. So, the question I have for you is this – is Onan guilty of some type of illicit sex or of theft? Remember – Onan had an obligation to sleep to with this woman. Basically, he was stealing – he was taking the sex, but withholding the seed.
In short, sexual sin always exposes a deeper sin.
How I’m like Onan
o “Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?
o Have I “used” my wife without giving her what she is entitled to?
Now, there are lot of guys today who are misusing sex who aren’t getting zapped for it today, so you may be thinking, why do I need to hear that story? Well, the truth is, I’m a lot more like Onan than I’d like to think. While I have no intention of giving my sister-in-law children should anything happen to my older brother, I do have a capacity to manipulate my wife in the exact same way.
There have been things that I have withheld from her, even as she is my wife in the fullest of ways.
[ There are times when I thought I’d “punish” her for not attending to my needs by not speaking the loving words she needs to hear. ]
Heck, there are a lot of nights when she’ll cook me a nice meal, and I don’t even put away the dishes!
Do you see what I’ve done? I’ve allowed my wife to serve me, but when it comes time to reciprocate, I didn’t. It might not be on the same level as Onan, but fundamentally –it’s the same sin.
What it costs
o In Onan’s case – his life.
o In my case, our relationship suffers
I may have switched from preachin’ to meddlin’, so let me get back to the story.
The exchange: Onan withholds life, so God takes Onan’s in exchange.
Now, Tamar’s not done yet…
10What he did was displeasing in the sight of the LORD, and he put him to death also. 11Then Judah said to his daughter-in-law Tamar, “Remain a widow in your father’s house until my son Shelah grows up”—for he feared that he too would die, like his brothers. So Tamar went to live in her father’s house.
Now, here’s what I want you to see – notice Tamar is going to be used again. What is Judah’s obligation here? That’s right – he’s got another boy. In his mind,, this chick has already killed off two of ‘em. He’d like to keep to his last one. So, what does he do? He makes up this excuse, and withholds Shelah.
12In course of time the wife of Judah, Shua’s daughter, died; when Judah’s time of mourning was over, he went up to Timnah to his sheepshearers, he and his friend Hirah the Adullamite. 13When Tamar was told, “Your father-in-law is going up to Timnah to shear his sheep,” 14she put off her widow’s garments, put on a veil, wrapped herself up, and sat down at the entrance to Enaim, which is on the road to Timnah. She saw that Shelah was grown up, yet she had not been given to him in marriage.
I think that’s pretty rational. I mean, would you marry off your last son to a woman who has already outlived two others? Let’s face it – Judah is afraid. He’s sinning by not following the law, but he’s afraid. Remember how I said sin exposes a heart condition? This exposes Judah’s fear.
Judah’s sin: WITHHOLDING SHELAH
Judah’s motive: FEAR
What it is going to cost – more than Judah ever imagines.
What I love about this story is that Tamar is not a doormat., and I think you’ll see this here:
13When Tamar was told, “Your father-in-law is going up to Timnah to shear his sheep,” 14she put off her widow’s garments, put on a veil, wrapped herself up, and sat down at the entrance to Enaim, which is on the road to Timnah. She saw that Shelah was grown up, yet she had not been given to him in marriage. 15When Judah saw her, he thought her to be a prostitute, for she had covered her face. 16He went over to her at the roadside, and said, “Come, let me come in to you,” for he did not know that she was his daughter-in-law. She said, “What will you give me, that you may come in to me?” 17He answered, “I will send you a kid from the flock.” And she said, “Only if you give me a pledge, until you send it.” 18He said, “What pledge shall I give you?” She replied, “Your signet and your cord, and the staff that is in your hand.” So he gave them to her, and went in to her, and she conceived by him. 19Then she got up and went away, and taking off her veil she put on the garments of her widowhood.
20When Judah sent the kid by his friend the Adullamite, to recover the pledge from the woman, he could not find her. 21He asked the townspeople, “Where is the temple prostitute who was at Enaim by the wayside?” But they said, “No prostitute has been here.” 22So he returned to Judah, and said, “I have not found her; moreover the townspeople said, ‘No prostitute has been here.’” 23Judah replied, “Let her keep the things as her own, otherwise we will be laughed at; you see, I sent this kid, and you could not find her.”
Competing wants
o Judah wants his boy
o Tamar wants a boy
Okay – I told Tamar is not a doormat. Don’t worry about whether or not Judah should be sleeping around. I like you instead to look at what I think is a beautiful irony in this story. What does Tamar want? A kid. Maybe not the same of kid Judah was offering, but she wants a kid. She wants to be a part of this family. What does Judah want? Sex. So, what’s the price that Tamar fixes? Judah’s very identity. Notice what she’s asking for – the signet and cord. That would be like taking someone’s drivers license, passport, and a power of attorney all at once. That signet cord was Judah.
Judah has sinned twice – once by withholding his son, and now, by sleeping around. Look at what this already cost him In a way, you could almost say, he’s selling soul to feed his baser instincts. You might remember Judah’s uncle Esau doing a similar thing here? Judah is paying way too high a price for his sin. But we’re not done yet. You see, sin is like extortion – it’s a blackmail. You keep paying, and Judah is going to.
24About three months later Judah was told, “Your daughter-in-law Tamar has played the whore; moreover she is pregnant as a result of whoredom.” And Judah said, “Bring her out, and let her be burned.” 25As she was being brought out, she sent word to her father-in-law, “It was the owner of these who made me pregnant.” And she said, “Take note, please, whose these are, the signet and the cord and the staff.” 26Then Judah acknowledged them and said, “She is more in the right than I, since I did not give her to my son Shelah.” And he did not lie with her again.
27When the time of her delivery came, there were twins in her womb. 28While she was in labor, one put out a hand; and the midwife took and bound on his hand a crimson thread, saying, “This one came out first.” 29But just then he drew back his hand, and out came his brother; and she said, “What a breach you have made for yourself!” Therefore he was named Perez. 30Afterward his brother came out with the crimson thread on his hand; and he was named Zerah.
Isn’t that a great story? Poor Tamar is abused by Er, used by Onan, neglected by Judah – but God still sees fit to give her the family she wants so bad. I think Tamar is a pretty plucky woman too. I think its too risky to draw out “God helps them who helps themselves here – because Tamar didn’t necessarily live happily ever after,” but you still have to appreciate the sheer irony of this story.
If I were a Jew…
Now, if I were a Jew, this is where the story would end. It is a very good, moral, ethical critique of sin. Everybody got what they deserved. Sin worked the way it is supposed, and I learned that sin exposes a motive, and requires an unexpectedly high payment - far beyond what I would like to pay.
But, as Christians, I have a broader outlook on it. Romans 3:23 makes plain what we’ve been talking about when it says, "For the wages of sin is death." The thing is, Romans continues - it says "But the gift of God is eternal life."
If I were a Christian
We have an ending to this story - Turn with me, please, to Matthew 1. I’d like to read verses 1 - 3.
1An account of the genealogy of Jesus the Messiah, the son of David, the son of Abraham.
2Abraham was the father of Isaac, and Isaac the father of Jacob, and Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers, 3and Judah the father of Perez and Zerah by Tamar
Did you see that - Tamar is mentioned BY NAME. If you keep reading in that chapter, out of 14 generations of men, only four women are mentioned - and all 4 of them have equally questionable sexual histories. We’ve already mentioned Rahab, Ruth. That ’wife of Uriah’ was Bathsheba - and you may recall how David murdered her husband to have sex with her.
And yet, even in spite of this, Jesus, in his sovereignty, CHOOSES to call each of these women his mother. Believe me when I say that God had a pretty good idea of who was going to beget whom.
As a Christian, you can see God’s exposed heart- His motive is completely selfless. “He humbled himself and became obedient - completely obedient even to death on a cross. ” He didn’t withhold anything
As a Christian, you can see the price that sin finally required – namely the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many.”
The exchange he makes for us is almost unfathomable – “while we still were sinners Christ died for us. ”
So, now, the decision isn’t really how to deal with sin, the question is whether or not we will hold on to it. You may have a valid motive to hold to your sin. You know what it is costing you, but you can still rationalize it. Still, the Bible shows us there can be an exchange. You already know the price holding onto your sin and withholding your love for Jesus. The only question is, will you keep paying the price for your sin, or will you receive the gift that’s been offered?
Let us pray.
