SUE: Today we’re going to engage in split-screen preaching. On the one screen you will hear how Proverbs instructs children to regard their parents. So when the children’s screen is in focus, kids including, teens listen up! It’s for you.
WES: When the screen switches to the way Proverbs instructs parents, then parents hear ye! Hear Ye! But kids continue to pay attention, because some day most of you will become parents.
SUE: I want to ask first, “do families need help?" What do you think? Shouldn’t good behavior and loving family relationships just be natural?” I think we’d all answer- “IF ONLY!”
Proverbs was written because the natural tendency of people is to become undisciplined, contentious fools (Proverbs uses this word) unless they receive instruction and then heed God’s wisdom which is given for both parents and children.
Proverbs paints a picture of unruly, undisciplined children and the way they act. “There are those who curse their fathers and do not bless their mothers; those whose eyes are ever so haughty, whose glances are so disdainful; those whose teeth are swords and whose jaws are set with knives to devour the poor from the earth, the needy from among mankind” (Prov 30:11-14).
Nothing has changed much in over 3000 years. I want to give you an example of a family that unfortunately, represents far too many families in trouble who need to heed God’s wisdom recorded for us in the book of Proverbs. This sad story came to me just this week.
The oldest son of this family, in his 20’s, is sitting in jail right now because of a felony he committed.
Their second son, also a young adult, recently started a friendship with a childhood Sunday school friend who has two children and two past lovers. That friendship lasted only about three months because the young woman started seeing other men and broke his heart.
But the most recent event in this family that added to the grief and dismay of the parents was the foolishness of their teen age daughter.
I’ll call her Abby. Abby met a guy at her church the same age and they fell in love, so much so that they decided to get married as soon as they both turned 18. That would be next March.
In the meantime, they had an argument and in her anger she took off to be with another friend, an older man. The man in his 30’s took her for a bike ride and then to his apartment where he gave her some highly spiked ice tea and then committed a gross sin against her. She was taken to the hospital traumatized. For the parents it was one more tragic wound they had to bear.
I think, ’oh, if only Abby would have listened to her mother who tried to instruct her.’ Her father, unfortunately, didn’t carry out his godly role as he should have; he was mostly a passive presence in the home.
At any rate, Abby chose to reject her mother’s teaching and follow the way of a FOOL. Proverbs says “To have a fool for a son (or daughter) brings grief; there is no joy for the father of a fool” (Prov 17:21). But that’s not the end of Abby’s foolish actions.
Abby and her boyfriend made up and fell back in love again. At least that’s what they told each other. And they decided they couldn’t wait until March to get married so they set their wedding date for next month in November. But then about a week later, they decided they couldn’t wait until next month and unwilling to heed Scripture’s warnings to keep themselves pure and to keep the marriage bed undefiled (Heb 13), they said their vows to each other and to God in her bedroom, declared themselves married in God’s eyes! And you can guess the rest of the story.
Teens, I think you know that when you decided to disobey your parents and God’s commands and choose to sin, your sin will lead to more sin until you get trapped and miserable unless you confess it and turn from it. Sin, especially sexual sin, is not worth the price that comes with it.
Well, just last week, after this young beautiful teenage Abby and her mother had put a wedding dress on lay away, sealed up hand-made wedding invitations, and started buying food for the anticipated wedding reception (which by the way they couldn’t afford),they also faced the prospects that Abby might be pregnant. On Thursday, a week ago, Abby and her mother were greeted by the young prince who came to their door to tell them the wedding is off. He let Abby know that he no longer loved her or wanted to marry her!
Can you imagine the devastation that consumed this teenage beauty and her mother? I don’t know how Abby is handling the let-down, but I do know the mother is mighty irate about what happened. Later, the mother asked them after his pronouncement sunk in, does this mean that since you two married yourselves before God, will you also need to divorce yourselves as well?
The book of Proverbs is God-breathed wisdom that has been preserved and passed on to us so that we might not become regretful fools who groan at the end of life saying, "Oh, how I hated discipline, and my heart despised reproof! I did not listen to the voice of my teachers or incline my ear to my instructors. Now I am at the point of utter ruin in the public assembly" (Prov 5:12-14). Meaning, "I am so ashamed of myself, I can’t face the public."
WES: The book of Proverbs appeals again and again to parents and children to seek wisdom, to heed God’s commands. We are going to project some of these Scriptures on the screen.
WES: To parents— “Discipline your children while there is hope; do not set your heart on their destruction” (Prov 19:18).
SUE: To children- “My child, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments; for length of days and years of life and abundant welfare they will give you" (Prov 3:1-2)
WES: To parents—“Train children in the right way and when old they will not stray” (Prov 22:6).
SUE: To children – “Listen, children, to a father’s instruction and be attentive that you may gain insight; for I give you good precepts; do not forsake my teaching" (Prov 4:1-2).
WES: To parents—“Discipline your children, and they will give you rest; they will give delight to your heart." (Prov 29:17).
SUE: To children - “My child, keep your father’s commandment, and do no forsake your mother’s teaching. Bind them upon your heart always; tie them around your neck. When you walk they will lead you, when you lie down they will watch over you; and when you awake they will talk with you” (Prov 6:20-21).
WES: Parents and grandparents, God’s word gives clear instructions on the responsibilities we have for our children. In Proverbs 6, the text for today, children are instructed to keep their father’s command and not forsake their mother’s instruction. God’s instructions for parents are recorded in the book of Deuteronomy. (read Deut 11:18-21)
In other words, we as parents are to make teaching and instructing our children the truth from the Bible our highest priority in the home. Parents, put it above excelling in sports or recreation or watching TV or any thing else that takes away the precious minutes God wants you to engage with your sons and daughters around his Word. You can’t begin too early. Carol Boothby told us about the baby dedication of their grandchild in San Diego they attended a few weeks ago. Their son, the father of this child, started reading the Bible aloud each day with the baby on his lap. That Sunday, when the pastor reached for this grandson, it appeared that he might cry, but when he heard the man’s voice, it was as though he was paying attention. It was as though hearing the Bible prepared him for this new situation.
I remember the early years we lived in Japan and the small church we were a part of didn’t have Sunday school for our children, so we had it at home. We sang. We read Bible stories. We had activities.
PARENTS—no nurture activity for children is too insignificant. Think of creative ways you can instruct your children at home, whether through reading, telling the stories, showing them pictures.
I found a list of 10 Commandments for Fathers—They didn’t come from the Bible- but they are wisdom commandments that every father ought to pay attention to.
A Christian Father’s “Ten Commandments”
1. You shall hold no other group more important than the family unit.
2. You shall teach your sons and daughters to love, respect, and obey their parents.
3. You shall be a loving and considerate husband.
4. You shall not speak in a manner unbecoming to a Christian gentleman.
5, You shall make Sunday a day set aside for worship as a family.
6. You shall provide for your family — spiritually and physically.
7. You shall promote and lead family worship in your home.
8. You shall be honest in all your dealings.
9. You shall respect the desires and freedoms of your family as individuals.
10. You shall be the head of your household, while guiding with love.
(modified from Pulpit Helps, Vol 7, #9 June 1982)
CLOSING WORDS—
Fathers, far too many men today hate fatherhood, and try to escape their responsibilities instead of delighting in being a father. Some of you know of men who refuse to work because they don’t want to pay child support. Some of you know men who want to be off doing their own thing instead of being a father to their children.
But listen to these words from Proverbs 4:1-5. This is the kind of relationship to strive for with your children so that you can sit down face to face and speak to them about truth, about wisdom, and about God. (Read Proverbs 4:1-5)
SUE: The words of our text in Proverbs 6 address sons and daughters with strong commands. Look at them
1. My child keep your father’s commandment.
2. Do not forsake your mother’s teaching (what a blessing when children have godly parents that see to it God’s word is taught at home).
3. Bind them upon your heart always.
4. Tie them around your neck
These instructions are stated strongly so that they won’t just go in one ear and out the other.
Sons and daughters, don’t accuse your parents or whoever your spiritual teacher is of being out of touch or not cool! Don’t make the same mistake Abby did.
We are preaching to you children and teens this morn because we believe you are special and we don’t want any of you to become regretful FOOLS.
WES: We are preaching to you parents this morning because we want you to be blessed with children who honor you and see you as godly examples worthy to follow.
SUE: Wonderful promises are also made in this passage to the wise children who obey what he commands in Scripture. The promises are in Proverbs 6:22.
1. When you walk, they will lead you.
(God’s commands will come to mind to help you walk in the right path and keep you from walking in the path of sin).
2. When you lie down, they will watch over you.
3. When you awake they will talk with you.
(You can call it the voice of conscience talking to you)
For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light!
God gives promises that are real; promises that enable children to walk with purpose and confidence.
I want to close with 10 commandments for teens. These aren’t in the Bible either but worth taking seriously.
Teen Commandments
1. Don’t let your parents down; they brought you UP.
2. Choose your companions with care; many times you become what they are.
3. Be the master of habits, or they will master you.
4. Treasure your time; don’t spend it, invest it for the Kingdom.
5. Stand up for something or you will fall for anything.
6. Select only a Christian date who would make a fine Christian mate.
7. See what you can do for your parents, not expecting they do everything for you.
8. Guard your thoughts by committing them to God; what you think, you are.
9. Go to church with your family or set the example for them.
10. Live a life committed to Christ both at home and away from home.
(modified from Pulpit Helps, Vol 7, # 9 July 1982)
May God help us to allow his commandments in the book of Proverbs to sink deep into our hearts so that we might experience the joy of godly, harmonious family living
