Biblical Bedroom Basics
1 Thess. 4:3-5
Oct. 16, 2005 FBC, Chester Mike Fogerson, Pastor
Introduction:
I know this will date me, but I can remember the Emmy-award winning TV comedy called "The Dick Van Dyke Show." I know, I know.. Most of you are not old enough to remember watching it when it was actually broadcast but you may have seen it on Nick at Night. It was a funny show, still is, but in that show, which was in the 60’s, it always had Dick Van Dyke and Mary Tyler Moore, who was his wife, Laura, sleeping in twin beds. Because our culture then, when a show was on TV wouldn’t even show a married couple in bed together. And nowadays the Emmy award goes to shows like HBO’s "Sex in the City," or ABC’s "Desperate Housewives" where several people might end up in a twin bed!
For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; 4 that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, 5 not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God 1 Thess 4:3-5 (NASB)
ETS: God’s desire was for His Children to practice Sexual purity.
ESS: We are responsible for loving in a way that is pleasing unto God.
OBJ: I hope you’ll know these two biblical bedroom basics well enough to teach them to someone else.
PQ: How can you pass on these biblical bedroom basics this week?
TS: Let’s look at two biblical bedroom basics
I The first bedroom basic is monogamy
A Monogamy clip 1:45-2:48
1 Graph 1 ( 3 and 4)
a Graph 2
b People are taking the issue of monogamy seriously
2 Monogamy (mono=one + gamos=marriage)
a Man/woman for one lifetime
b There is a growing movement towards saving oneself for marriage
aa Wait Ware
bb Silver ring thing (Two-hour training, pledge abstinence, get a ring. 40,000 in 10 yrs).
c "Monogamy is in vogue." ~Dr. Drew
B God established marriage as a sacred union between one man and one woman. And He answered and said, "Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE, 5 and said, ’FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH’? 6 "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate." Matt 19:4-6 (NASB)
1 Just as God created marriage, He also created sex.
a Since God created sex, He has the authority to govern how it is used.
b God created sex for two reasons:
aa Continuance of the race God blessed them, saying, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let birds multiply on the earth." Gen 1:22 (NASB)
bb For pleasure of the marriage partners (husband & wife, not your prom date).
2 Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge. Heb 13:4 (NASB)
a God commands us to protect the purity of the monogamous relationship of marriage.
b What’s the most well-known commandment dealing with sex & marriage (adultery).
aa God’s not trying to steal joy, but rather He’s protecting the joy of sex in marriage.
bb He’s not building a wall to a prison; He’s building a hedge to protect a beautiful garden.
C (IL) I read an account of a gentleman named James Matlock (he has nothing to do with the old Matlock TV series starring Andy Griffith!). James Matlock was a Puritan who lived in New England in the 17th century. Apparently he was placed under church discipline. And the reason was because he wasn’t having sex with his wife. His wife complained to the church elders that her husband wasn’t fulfilling his marital duty to her. They investigated the matter and then excommunicated Matlock. And they told him he would remain under church discipline until he began satisfying his wife’s sexual needs. And most people think the Puritans were prudish and anti-sex! Not at all! They were very biblical in their approach to practical areas of the Christian life.
II The second bedroom basic is be filled with the Spirit.
A 3:34-5:00 Alcohol & behavior
1 Alcohol clouded the judgment of folks’ sexual choices.
2 Graphs 3 & 4
B Scripture directs us to be under the influence of the Holy Spirit.
1 Too many marriages end in divorce court, and only God knows how many husbands and wives live emotionally divorced from one another in the same house.
a Poet William Cowper said the home "was the only bliss of Paradise that has survived the fall."
b Sadly, many homes look more like outposts of hell instead of parcels of paradise.
2 The answer is the power of the Holy Spirit. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit Eph 5:18 (NASB)
a How we achieve harmony in marriage, family, friends, church... "be filled with the Spirit."
b The verb "filled" is in the perfect tense- "keep on being filled."
aa Constantly being refilled
bb Fresh experiences
3 In Scripture, "filled" means controlled
a The person drunk on alcohol makes some impressions:
aa Makes a fool of himself & is not ashamed
bb Calls attention to himself
cc Feels he/she is in control, really controlled by alcohol
b The person filled with the Spirit also makes an impression:
aa Not ashamed to be a fool for Christ’s sake
bb Calls attention to Jesus (witness, character)
cc An experience of beautiful self-control that is really God in control. Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:23)
C Alcohol being in control of a believer disallows the Holy Spirit to be in control.
1 We do what fills (controls) us
2 Joe Nichols song, Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off
a She’ll start by kicking off her shoes
Lose an earring in her drink
Leave her jacket in the bathroom stall
Drop a contact down the sink
Them pantyhose ain’t going to last too long
If the DJ puts Bon Jovi on
She might come home in a tablecloth
Yea, tequila makes her clothes fall off
She don’t mean nothing
She’s just having fun
Tomorrow she will say, "Oh, what have I done?"
Friends will joke about the stuff she lost
Yea, tequila makes her clothes fall off
b Alcohol can control us & we do goofy (sinful) things
c The Holy Spirit can control us & we do godly things
aa Home (marriage, kids, relationships)
bb Relationships (dating)
cc Stats show that alcohol messes with your judgment
dd Bible said it 2,000 years ago!
Conclusion:
A God’s desire was for His Children to practice Sexual purity. We are responsible for loving in a way that is pleasing unto God.
1 Let’s look at two biblical bedroom basics
a Monogamy
b Be filled with the Spirit
B I hope you’ll know these two biblical bedroom basics well enough to teach them to someone else. (Obj.)
1 Choice 1: Monogamy or rebellion
2 Choice 2: Filled with alcohol or Spirit
C How can you pass on these biblical bedroom basics this week? (PQ)
1 In 1988 Cody repeated an old Indian legend in Guideposts magazine. Here it is: Many years ago, Indian youths would go away in solitude to prepare for manhood. One such youth hiked into a beautiful valley, green with trees, bright with flowers. There he fasted. But on the third day, as he looked up at the surrounding mountains, he noticed one tall rugged peak, capped with dazzling snow. I will test myself against that mountain, he thought. He put on his buffalo-hide shirt, threw his blanket over his shoulders and set off to climb the peak. When he reached the top he stood on the rim of the world. He could see forever, and his heart swelled with pride. Then he heard a rustle at his feet, and looking down, he saw a snake. Before he could move, the snake spoke.
"I am about to die," said the snake. "It is too cold for me up here and I am freezing. There is no food and I am starving. Put me under your shirt and take me down to the valley."
"No," said the youth. "I am forewarned. I know your kind. You are a rattlesnake. If I pick you up, you will bite, and your bite will kill me."
"Not so," said the snake. "I will treat you differently. If you do this for me, you will be special. I will not harm you."
The youth resisted awhile, but this was a very persuasive snake with beautiful markings. At last the youth tucked it under his shirt and carried it down to the valley. There he laid it gently on the grass, when suddenly the snake coiled, rattled, and leapt, biting him on the leg.
"But you promised..." cried the youth.
"You knew what I was when you picked me up." said the snake as it slithered away.
2 "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have received from God. You are not your own. You were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your body."
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Mike Fogerson
