Peter stood tall among the disciples. He was one of Jesus closest friends and everyone knew it. While they sat at the table, Jesus began to describe the hard road he was about to face. In a moment that must have been very difficult for Jesus. He looks out at his disciples, his closest friends and followers and says to them, that they would all dessert him when the hard times came. Peter was quick to jump to his feet and I can imagine with a loud boisterous shout, Peter proclaims, even if all of them dessert you and betray you, I will never, I will die before that happens.
Jesus quickly and gently looks eye ball to eyeball with Peter and says, Oh, Peter, before the sun rises before the rooster crows, you will deny that you even know me three times… Peter incredibly puzzled sits down.
A few hours later you know the story Jesus is arrested. His disciples run away. Peter and probably John go to the courtyard where Jesus is beginning to be put on trial. The crowd is a buzz. Peter’s mind is numb. His thoughts are racing. The crowd that once was praising Jesus had know turned… They waited with morbid curiosity to see what happened.
In the midst of the crowd someone turns to Peter hearing his accent says Hey you are from Galilee. Aren’t you a follower of that man? The words rush out of Peter’s mouth, No I have never met him. Two others ask the same question. With each question, Peter’s anger rose hotter and hotter… Until in response to the third question Peter curses and swears… He does not know that man. At that moment The dawn broke… The rooster crowed… And Jesus once more locked eyeballs with Peter… Peter coming to his senses… Realizing what he has done runs away… sobbing and weeping… Angry at himself…Feeling a sense of hopelessness and loss.
Each of us… If we are honest… have been where Peter was? A mistake… A poor Choice…words said …actions done… And for the Believer… the one who is in relationship with Jesus… Just like Peter, immediately after the sin we come to our senses and are filled with remorse and regret…
Garrison Keillor who is the host of the Prairie Home Companion on Public Radio tells a story of a man in Lake Wobegon who was saved 12 times at the altar of a Lutheran church that never gave altar calls. He would come to the altar time after time and weep buckets and buckets of tears and come back the next Sunday and do the very same thing. Larry Sorensen kept repenting and repenting but somehow he couldn’t get beyond the repenting stage. Pretty soon even the “fundamentalists got tired of him.” Larry couldn’t believe that Jesus could totally forgive him; and the guilt of all he had done caused him to be unable to forgive himself. Instead of being free to move on, he came to church week after week constantly feeling guilty and trying to get back on track over and over again.
So what do we do? How do we move on when we have failed? How do we forgive ourselves? How do we let go of our shame, guilt, and regret?
As always it begins with Jesus, a relationship with Jesus Christ.
Turn with me in your Bibles to John chapter 21 beginning in verse 1.
As we walk through the steps necessary to forgive ourselves we must keep in mind something that a man trying the cross a local main street was reminded.
As the man stepped off the curb a car came screaming around the corner and headed straight for him. The man walked faster, trying to hurry across the street, but the car changed lanes and still came at him.
So the guy turned around to go back, but the car changed lanes again and still came at him. By now, the car was so close and the man was so scared that
he just froze and stops in the middle of the road. The car gets real close, then swerves at the last possible moment and screeches to a halt. Right next him.
The driver rolls down the window. The driver is a squirrel. And the squirrel says to the man,
"See, it’s not as easy as it looks, is it?"
When it comes to letting go of our guilt and our shame and choosing to forgive, it is not easy. In fact apart from Jesus it is practically impossible. So again the question who do we do it?
The first step is realizing that Jesus is still there.
In the midst of Peter’s failure, betraying his Lord, Peter returned to the only thing he knew- Fishing.
Jesus had in fact risen, but for Peter it only made matters worse. Jesus had appeared to the disciples several times, but each time Peter could hardly look at Jesus. He had failed him and even if Jesus could forgive him; how could he ever forgive himself. But even as a fisherman he seemed to be a failure- He fished all night and caught nothing. Can you imagine how depressed Peter must have been? What was left?
And then he hears a familiar voice, the voice of Jesus. He was on the beach preparing Breakfast for them. He was still there.
In my own life there was a period of time where I couldn’t let of go a certain mistake. It seemed every time I would sin I would keep telling God the same things; Next Time it will be different. Yet I kept on sinning. There was a point in my life where Jesus had to remind me that No matter where I went or How much I sinned? He would still be there. In fact even when my life was filled with guilt, shame, and sin, he loved me no more no less. His love for me was and is unconditional not conditional. In fact David in Psalm 139 says no matter where we go, He is still there. We can not run away or escape form Him. He is there.
A second step is letting Jesus heal the pain
After breakfast, Jesus calls Peter aside and begins to ask him the same question three times. The question was Peter Do, you love me. Three times Peter publicly proclaimed that he knew Jesus and he loved Jesus. By doing this Jesus chose to replace and old memory with a new memory.
The old rhyme sticks and stones make breaks our bones but words will never hurt us…Is a lie? Each of us have a mind filled with memories- Some good and some Bad, and it is the bad that haunts us and sometimes drives every choice and decision that we make in our life. If this is your life, choose today to boldly place these hurts in the hands of Jesus. Let him heal your pain. Let him give you the courage to let it go.
A third key is to move on and move forward.
Peter not only was asked three times a probing question but was given a task, a new life purpose- Feed my sheep
Peter had failed. He had done the unthinkable, and yet Jesus not only still forgave him and loved him he still had a plan and a purpose for his life. He had not blown it.
The story of "Wrong Way Riegels" is a familiar one, but it bears repeating. On New Year’s Day 1929, Georgia Tech played UCLA in the Rose Bowl. In that game a young man named Roy Riegels recovered a fumble for UCLA. Picking up the loose ball, he lost his direction and ran 65 yards toward the wrong goal line. One of his teammates, Beeny Lom, ran him down and tackled him just before he scored for the opposing team. Several plays later the Bruins had to punt. Tech blocked the kick and scored a safety, demoralizing the UCLA team.
The strange play came in the first half. At halftime the UCLA players filed off the field and into the dressing room. As others sat down on the benches and the floor, Riegels put a blanket around his shoulders, sat down in a corner and put his face in his hands.
When the timekeeper came in and announced that there were 3 minutes before playing time, Coach Price looked at the team and said, "Men, the same team that played the 1st half will start the second." The players got up and started out, all but Riegels. He didn’t budge. The coach looked back and called to him. Riegels didn’t move. Coach Price went over to where Riegels sat and said, "Roy, didn’t you hear me?" The same team that played the 1st half will start the 2nd."
Roy Riegels looked up, his cheeks wet with tears. "Coach," he said, "I can’t do it. I’ve ruined myself. I can’t face the crowd out there."
Coach Price reached out, put his hand on Riegel’s shoulder and said, "Roy, get up and go on back. The game is only half over."
Riegels finally got up. He went onto the field, and the fans saw him play hard and play well.
