Philemon 15-25
Do Me This Favor
Woodlawn Baptist Church
October 9, 2005
Introduction
God works in mysterious ways doesn’t He? Many times in our lives we are left to wonder why He does a thing or why He might allow a thing to happen. A young man is sold into slavery by his family and 30 years later that event has him in a position to become the prime minister of a nation. As I thought about the mysteries of how God works, I was reminded of a story I heard a few years ago. The story begins with a poor Scottish farmer by the name of Fleming.
One day, while trying to scratch out a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.
The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman’s sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved. "I want to repay you," said the nobleman. "You saved my son’s life."
"No, I can’t accept payment for what I did," the Scottish farmer replied, waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer’s own son came to the door of the family hovel.
"Is that your son?" the nobleman asked.
"Yes," the farmer replied proudly.
"I’ll make you a deal. Let me take him and give him a good education. If the lad is anything like his father, he’ll grow to a man you can be proud of." And that he did. In time, Farmer Fleming’s son graduated from St. Mary’s Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.
Years afterward, the nobleman’s son was stricken with pneumonia. It was penicillin that saved the nobleman’s son. The name of that nobleman was Lord Randolph Churchill. The son who was saved? Sir Winston Churchill.
We could spend a lifetime trying to figure out how and why God does what He does, but a better use of our time and energy would be to trust that the God who sees the future just as plainly as He sees the past knows better than we do what is good for us. We must trust Him and be obedient, even when we grow uncomfortable or unsure.
In our passage in Philemon tonight, the apostle Paul brings God’s providence into the equation. Think about it. Paul travels to Ephesus and leads a man to the Lord. Paul then moves on until years later he is placed in a Roman prison hundreds of miles away. Meanwhile, the man he has led to the Lord has a slave to run away. Of all the places in the world that slave could have gone, he ends up in Rome, where he too hears the gospel of Christ from Paul and experiences a wonderful change of life.
We can’t script those sort of events, and yet they happen in our lives all the time. That’s one of the reasons Paul was able to write what he did in Philemon 15.
“For perhaps he therefore departed for a season, that thou shouldest receive him for ever;”
Onesimus had run away, most likely had even stolen either money or property from Philemon and was guilty. He was clearly in the wrong, was clearly a criminal who had violated his master’s trust, and now Paul says, “Maybe that’s the way God wanted it all to work out.” You see, Paul knows that Philemon has a clear case against Onesimus, but that’s not the issue. Now that he has become a believer and now that he has experienced a change of heart and character and conduct, Paul wants Philemon to consider that maybe, just maybe that he had to endure some grief and loss in order to experience the greater gain.
Perhaps he therefore departed for a what? For a season. Why? So you could receive him forever! Your temporary loss can now become an eternal gain!
Now, think about the tactics Paul has used to bring Philemon to a place where he is ready to restore Onesimus back into his home. He began by appealing to Philemon’s personal character. He told him what a great man of faith he was, how much he loved the Lord and other people and how encouraging that love and faith was to believers everywhere. Then he appealed to Philemon on the basis of Onesimus’ salvation. He had been led to Christ, had become a profitable worker, desired restitution and was valuable to those he served. Now he’s going to make a final appeal in this last section for Philemon to receive this guilty slave with mercy and forgiveness.
I hope that you will consider carefully what I’m going to lay out for you tonight, because we all experience times in our lives when it is highly difficult to forgive and be restored to someone who has hurt us. It is difficult when they are a believer and have had a change of heart. It is even more difficult when they do not care, but as I told you last time, it is our Christian duty to forgive.
The question is “How?” How do we forgive someone who has hurt us, wronged us or violated us? There are some clear instructions for us in verses 15-21.
Acknowledge God’s Hand At Work
I have already mentioned the providence of God. Paul and Philemon both knew that Onesimus was in the wrong, but what Paul so masterfully pointed out was that God had allowed it for a higher purpose.
Most, if not all of you have thought of someone during this entire series through Philemon that you’ve had trouble forgiving. You’ve thought of all the things they did to you; how they wronged you; how they don’t deserve forgiveness and certainly not your forgiveness. They cheated you, lied to you, violated you, violated your family.
Did you ever think that perhaps God allowed that thing to happen in your life for a higher purpose? Could God have allowed some bad thing to happen in your life in order that you might experience the greater good? The thing is is that you just don’t know. Whatever that person did to you is not an obstacle. It is an opportunity for you to grow and to manifest the love, compassion and mercy of God to an individual that does not deserve it.
In Genesis 50:20, Joseph said to his brothers,
“But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.”
Receive The Offender As An Expression Of Unconditional Love
Paul told Philemon to receive him, then verse 16 continues,
“Not now as a servant, but above a servant, a brother beloved; specially to me, but how much more unto thee, both in the flesh, and in the Lord?”
We don’t know how long Onesimus lived with Philemon before he ran away, but we know that while he lived in his house he did not enjoy the privileges of family, yet that’s exactly what Paul is asking him to extend to him. “I don’t want you to treat him like a slave, but like a brother!”
Do you remember the story of the prodigal son? Every one of us is either like the father in that story or like the older brother. The father had been wronged in a great way, yet when his son came back he welcomed him with open arms. The older brother wanted nothing to do with it. He had been wronged as well, and wanted his little brother to pay for it.
God is prompting you to forgive someone tonight. Will you treat them like long lost family and love that individual or will you try to make them pay for what they’ve done? Unconditional love says that regardless of what’s been done, I’m going to love you, forgive you and be merciful to you. That doesn’t mean you have to sweep the violation under the rug. Instead it means that you deal with it by releasing that person from the hurt they’ve done. You forgive them, and you do it with the love of Christ in you.
1 John 4:7-11 says,
“Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him. Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.”
Look at those verses carefully. Love is not an option. It is commanded for the child of God. Husbands are to love their wives. Wives are to love their husbands. Parents are to love their children. We’re commanded to love our neighbors, and Jesus said that we’re to love our enemies. “Beloved, let us love one another.” Your willingness to demonstrate or extend love to someone who has hurt you or violated you is an evidence that the love of God resides in you. If you can’t love other people, your family, friends or enemies it is because you don’t know God.
How did God prove His love for you? He sent His Son Jesus to reconcile you to Himself. He forgave you when you were at enmity with Him. He received you as an expression of His unconditional love for you. “If God so loved us…if God could love us this way, then we ought also to love one another.”
Receive The Offender In Full Fellowship
In verse 17, Paul told Philemon,
“If thou count me therefore a partner, receive him as myself.”
The word partner comes from the Greek word koinonion. It is the same word that we get the word fellowship from. In other words, he says to Philemon, “If we are really in fellowship, then receive him in full fellowship. Consider him a partner just like you would me.”
Anything less than that is not full fellowship. I understand there are circumstances where this might not be possible. If you had a friend stay in your home and during that time he violated one of your kids, you can and should forgive him, but you wouldn’t let him back in your house. However, that’s an unusual situation. In most cases, we fall out with our spouses or kids or with other church members, and its just a matter of not holding grudges or remaining bitter and angry.
Brother Ron and Brother Harold both make part of their living restoring antiques. Some people will take an old antique and destroy it by trying to cover it up with paint or patches, and many other pieces are ruined through years of neglect and abuse. Those pieces are very much like our human relationships. A long enough period of neglect or abuse will ruin the value of a relationship. The answer is not to gloss over it with a fresh coat of paint or patch; those only diminish the value of the relationship. The real solution is to strip the piece back bare, spend some time and effort addressing the broken pieces, lifting and smoothing out the stains and applying a new finish with care.
That’s what restoration means anyway doesn’t it? To restore means to make it like new again, and so often we’ll take a relationship that has been damaged by sin or neglect or abuse, and rather than going to the expense and effort of restoring that relationship we’ll put it out on the curb and hope someone else comes along and takes it off our hands.
Listen to me: anything less than full fellowship is not restoration. “Brother, I forgave him, but I can’t forget it.” Perhaps you don’t want to forget it. Perhaps you don’t really want fellowship. Perhaps you don’t really love him. I’m not saying its easy – it’s a God-sized problem, and it takes a God-sized faith.
Forgive Old Debts
Verses 18-19 continue:
“If he hath wronged thee, or oweth thee ought, put that on mine account; I Paul have written it with mine own hand, I will repay it:”
What a wonderful picture of what Christ has done for us! Paul is willing to pay this man’s sin debt that he might be reconciled to his master. When Christ died on Calvary he paid our sin debt, a debt we could not pay. Isaiah said that “the Lord laid on him the iniquity of us all.” Turn with me to Romans 4:2-8.
“For if Abraham were justified by works, he hath whereof to glory; but not before God. For what saith the Scripture? Abraham believed God, and it was counted unto him for righteousness. Now to him that worketh is the reward not reckoned of grace, but of debt. But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness. Even as David also describeth the blessedness of the man, unto whom God imputeth righteousness without works, saying, blessed are they whose iniquities are forgiven, and whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man to whom the Lord will not impute sin.”
The words reckon and impute are accounting terms. You and I owed a debt to God, but it was a debt we could not possibly pay. Jesus comes along and says, “I have enough righteousness in my account to cover his deficiency. Impute, or reckon my righteousness to his account and he’ll be covered.”
Now, did God make you work for that? Does He make you live with guilt each time you come into His presence? No! Not at all! So we are to do the same with those who have wronged us. God forgave us our debts because of the work of Jesus Christ, and because of that we are to do the same. “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.”
Remember Where You Came From
The rest of verse 19 says,
“…albeit I do not say to thee how thou owest unto me even thine own self besides.”
When Paul asked Philemon to receive Onesimus and forgive him those old debts, he reminded him that he too was once a man with a terrible debt that had also been forgiven. We talked about this last time, but again I’ll remind you that not one of us would be here tonight were it not for the mercy and forgiveness of God. “The wages of sin is death…” Your sin separated you from God, but He took the initiative to be reconciled to you. He sent His Son to die on Calvary; He left His churches to proclaim His gospel. He left us His Word so our eyes might be opened. He extended His grace so you might place your faith in Him.
You can’t forgive that debt? You can’t get over what he did or what she did? Then go back and remember what God did to forgive you. Sure forgiveness on your part may cost you something. Yes it may require some sacrifice, but your sacrifice and any cost you pay will pale in comparison with what has been done for you.
Remember Your Testimony
Verses 20-21,
“Yea, brother, let me have joy of thee in the Lord: refresh my bowels in the Lord. Having confidence in thy obedience I wrote unto thee, knowing that thou wilt also do more than I say.”
Do you remember Philemon’s testimony in verse 7? Because of his great love and faith he was a source of encouragement and motivation to many others. Is he going to destroy all that now? Is he going to read this letter and disregard it?
One of the greatest sources of encouragement we can receive is to see a brother or sister go through a trying experience such as this and do the right thing. It makes me believe that our faith can and does make a difference. It makes me believe that if he can go through it and come out better, so can I. But when a brother or sister falls or caves in to his natural desires, it has the opposite effect. What are you communicating to those around you in your relationships? Are you willing to forgive? Are you willing to seek restoration? Restoring furniture is not cheap, and neither is the restoration of relationships. It’s going to cost you something, but the message you send out when you are willing to pay the price is priceless.
Conclusion
There’s an old story about the Spanish patriot Narvaez as he lay dying. His priest was visiting with him so he might confess any sins and all that good stuff, and in the process he asked him whether he had forgiven all his enemies. Narvaez looked astonished and said, “Father, I have no enemies, I have shot them all.”
Have you forgiven your enemies? Have you forgiven those people, that individual who has hurt you? Wronged you? Sinned against you? Violated your trust? Maybe he said some things about you that really hurt. They were a lie and made you look bad. Forgive him. Maybe he knew some things about you that no one else did and passed them along and hurt you. Forgive him. Your spouse has been hiding things, been lying, knows he or she has hurt you and wants to work it out. Forgive him. Forgive her. The Holy Spirit is telling you right now that you have let this go on long enough, and as much as it hurts it is time to let go. Won’t you let go tonight? Won’t you allow God to lift that burden from you? Won’t you allow His grace and mercy to prevail? Won’t you manifest His love through you to that individual who needs it from you?
