Caught in the Trap of Compassion
By Pastor Jim May
Tonight I have simple, but very important message from the Word of God to every Christian. I feel that I must share a word to the wise from the wisest man who ever lived, King Solomon. It’s a message concerning debt, both financial and in the work of the ministry.
There was once a man who called the police and reported that all of his wife’s credit cards had been stolen. He gave all of the pertinent information and asked if they could possible help him to find the thief, but then he said "Don’t look too hard for the thief. He’s charging less than my wife ever did."
One fellow said that he is convinced that the only reason a great many American families don’t own an elephant to keep in their backyard for the kids to play with, is that they have never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments.
In another instance, a man was giving a tour of his mansion to one of his friends and bragging about what he owned. "Dear sir, I want you to take to note of the fine furniture in this room. It is all of the most valuable antiques that we have collected over many years. Most of it goes back to the Louis the 14th, King of France." His friend looked amazed but then said, "well that’s nothing, I have a whole house full of furniture that will go back to Sears on the first of next month."
While we joke about debt loads and credit cards, the debt load has become a growing specter in our society, rising ever higher until it seems that, unless we can get a handle on it, the debt load of our nation threatens to destroy our entire economy and bring the richest nation on the face of the earth to its knees in bankruptcy.
The signs are already there. One article on Fox News last month said, “Throughout the 1960s, ’70s, ’80s, and ’90s, households showed a surplus income of varying degrees. It wasn’t until 1999 — for the first time in about 50 years — that U.S. households started spending more than they took in. What started as a small deficit of about $50 billion among households quickly spiked to a deficit of more than $350 billion in the second quarter of this year”.
The average household right now has an $84,454 debt. But that’s not all we owe. If you factor in the national debt, the average household also owes another $473,456. We are all responsible and share in that bill, and that doesn’t include anything from the recent natural disasters. At a price tag of $200 Billion, that would add an additional $803 for every man, woman and child in America. Is there any doubt in your mind that we are headed for trouble economically?
How many of you could survive right now if you had to come up with the money to pay that debt off? Where would you borrow the money to pay it? I dare say that not many of us would be able to either take the cash out of our accounts, or qualify for that kind of loan.
I believe that King Solomon has some good advice to America, and to you and I, today. If we could only hear what he has to say, and take it to heart, maybe we could begin to turn things around. But, since most people won’t hear his words, and very few will heed them, I don’t expect that miracle to happen.
Proverbs 6:1-5 says, "My son, if thou be surety for thy friend, if thou hast stricken thy hand with a stranger, Thou art snared with the words of thy mouth, thou art taken with the words of thy mouth. Do this now, my son, and deliver thyself, when thou art come into the hand of thy friend; go, humble thyself, and make sure thy friend. Give not sleep to thine eyes, nor slumber to thine eyelids. Deliver thyself as a roe from the hand of the hunter, and as a bird from the hand of the fowler."
This specific word of wisdom concerns the agreement to take on the debt of another. We don’t use the same terminology that Solomon uses, but there are a lot of people who are ensnared by the same practice that Solomon was describing. In today’s vernacular we often call it Co-signing a loan. Right now, a prime example would be, lending a helping hand.
Solomon said that if we have agreed to take on the debt of another that we should not sleep nor rest until we find a way to get out of that situation.
I have seen it happen, time and time again, when a parent would cosign a note for a child to get a car. I have been known to do the same thing myself. But it only took one time to learn that lesson well. My advice is this, ”if you can’t afford to pay the note all the time, to keep yourself safe, then don’t sign the note, because you will surely have to pay it.” I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have heard people say that their troubles really began when they cosigned a note for someone else, never realizing that doing so made them liable for the debt personally.
Solomon said that we should “make sure thy friend”. Let me ask you a question, What is the best way to gain a friend? The answer is, just offer him money, or something for nothing.
That’s what is going on in our country right now on an unprecedented scale. Our government is handing out “free money” to just about anyone who will stand in line long enough to get it. No questions are asked, no qualifications are needed – just say that you are a victim and lost everything. Those who are handing the cash out like water aren’t concerned because it’s not coming out of their pocket. In fact, they are getting paid to give away cash. My, what a job!
What’s really sad is that I’ve heard of people who call themselves Christians, missing work, skipping church, and going to get in the hand-out lines to get their “fair share”. Let me tell you that they are stealing just as surely as if they had broken into your wallet or purse and stolen your money from you. What’s the difference?
Most don’t qualify for aid. Most certainly don’t deserve it and most of them lost nothing more than a little bit of extra groceries from the freezer. They aren’t listed among the flood victims for whom it is meant, but they are getting it anyway by lying and cheating. Someday there will be a reckoning. Someday they will stand before God and answer for all of this and just maybe, there will come a reckoning day in the courts of man too. Justice will be served through it all.
Now, let me ask you another question, “What is the best way to lose a friend?” The answer to that is to just “stop offering him the free hand-out and ask him for something instead.”
My sister-in-law has gone home to be with the Lord now, but when she was alive, she worked at a welfare office. She once told us of the attitude that most of the “welfare mentality” people have. They think that you and I “owe them something”. Some of them refuse to work a job, refuse to get up every morning like you and I, and go out and earn their way, but they are convinced that it’s their “right” to be fed, clothed and sheltered by those who work.
Just let a government check be one day late and they will be lined up for blocks screaming for their money. But don’t ask them to sweep the floor or pick up trash off the streets. That’s work and it’s beneath their dignity.
Just this morning I was told the story of how one of the local churches was delivering a boxed lunch to some of the people in the storm shelters. The church sent a truck loaded with lunches to give away and when it arrived at the shelter, the driver went in to ask for help from those who were sitting around with nothing to do but wait for a handout. Not one of those who were waiting got up and offered to go help. The driver went back in and announced that lunches were there, but this time he said, “If no one is willing to come and help, then I’ll just take them all back.” Even then, only a few got up to come and help pass them out. That’s the kind of thing that almost turns you into a cynic. Why should we help those who refuse to help themselves? Why should we take time and money and do all that work, to go and try to help people who don’t appreciate it and think that you owe it to them?
I know that we are to have compassion and desire to help those who are in need. But helping people, who aren’t thankful, and who refuse to do anything for themselves isn’t even scriptural.
Genesis 3:19, "In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return."
Paul, speaking to the church, said in 2 Thessalonians 3:10, "For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat."
If a man is too lazy to get up and walk to a truck to get a free lunch, then he shouldn’t complain about begin hungry!
I think that of this comes under the same heading of “making sure of thy friend”. God never intended for you to give all that you have, and put yourself under a heavy load of debt, be it financial or in service to your fellowman, if that fellowman is undeserving of your work and refuses to help himself.
I believe that God want us to help other people within the right context. I believe that the heart of God is hurting for those who are truly in need and are willing to do whatever they can for themselves. It is those folks that I really feel for, not for the lazy who refuse to work.
Solomon’s advice is for you to, “Deliver thyself as a roe from the hand of the hunter, and as a bird from the hand of the fowler."
What a paradox! We are trying to be a helping hand to someone in need, but instead we become the one in the snare. What does that mean?
Think of it this way. So many people are out there right now doing all that they can because the love of God constrains them. They feel that they owe a debt of mercy and grace to those in need. That’s a commendable and just cause for those who are working.
But, their work is going to those who will only continually beg for more, and never become self-sufficient or satisfied, so where does it stop? At what point does the godly worker say, “enough is enough. I’m not going back again?”
On another note, we have children, family and friends who have fallen on hard times. The love of God inside of us makes us have compassion and want to help them as much as we can. So we give them all we can. But where do we draw the line? I don’t believe that God ever intends for his children to go into debt that they can’t afford to help someone else in need. It’s our duty to pray for them, minister to them, and help them however we can, but there’s a line drawn that God doesn’t expect us to cross in that ministry, and that line is determined by the attitude of the one in need and our ability to give.
You see, the problem is that we get caught up in ministry and then we feel guilty when it’s time to stop giving when the time is come to stop. It’s like we are caught in a trap of guilt feelings and caught in a trap of feeling like we still must continue on, regardless of the attitude of those we are trying to help.
Christians are easily swayed to be compassionate, and that’s all right and good, but we are also very susceptible to being fooled by those who don’t deserve our efforts.
It works that way in cosigning a note for someone who needs help, and it works that way in giving and helping the needy. We must be sure of the one in need, that they are trustworthy, and truly thankful, and not just waiting for a handout.
Let’s have mercy upon the helpless, help those in distress, but let’s make sure that what we are doing is in accordance with the scriptures. We are called to be good stewards of the blessings that God has given to us. We are not called to give everything away, only to share with those who are in need, willing to work and thankful for what we can do.
I believe that every Christian will have to stand before the Lord one day soon, and we will have to answer for how we handled the blessings and provisions of God. We will have to answer for our stewardship. Was God’s provision blatantly wasted without regard to how and where it was used, or did we use wisdom?
Let’s have a heart of compassion, a heart of mercy, and show grace and kindness to those who are hurting, but don’t ever let the ministry become a snare that traps you.
We should obey Deuteronomy 15:11, "For the poor shall never cease out of the land: therefore I command thee, saying, Thou shalt open thine hand wide unto thy brother, to thy poor, and to thy needy, in thy land."
But we should also obey 1 Peter 4:10, "As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God."
Do we owe the debt of love and trying to help our fellowman? Of course we do. But we do not owe them all that we have, and we don’t owe them anything if they aren’t willing to change and go to work, rebuilding their own lives with their own hands and the sweat of their own brow first.
