The Home as God Intended
Part 4 – Unequally Yoked
Rev. Bruce A. Shields
First Baptist Church of Tawas City Michigan
www.TawasBaptist.org
WELCOME
PRAYER
Part 4 of our series on the home as God intended, we will examine unequally yoked marriage.
We know from the scriptures what Gods plan for man and woman was to be.
He explains quite clearly how the house was to operate.
But man was led astray by his flesh, a path which led to the flood by the 6th chapter of Genesis.
How many men today are led astray by their flesh?
How many of us today choose what we or our flesh want over the good of our wives, family and even God?
Clearly between Genesis 1:1 and 6, man lost God’s plan for relationships.
So after the creation of man, what did God tell us about man’s responsibility to the family unit?
In Genesis 2:15-24, we see that God’s intension was for man to cultivate and keep the garden. This is sometimes referred to as the “dominion mandate”.
From the definitions we can see the responsibilities included working, serving, worshipping, guarding, protecting and saving.
Sounds like a lot of work for one guy!
But God created for him a suitable helper, a woman who would compliment Adam’s sills and abilities, a pleasing contrast that would allow Adam to fulfill his obligation to God.
It was this vision of service and harmony that mankind had lost, and because of this, we have been spiraling ever since.
Even before man fell in sin, God had a plan to redeem him back into relationship with God.
The first phase of this plan lay in the nation of Israel, God’s chosen people.
It was through this people that God intended to mend what had been broken.
He said to Abraham;
Genesis 22:17-18
“I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, 18 and through your offspring [a] all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me."
Unfortunately, however, Israel fell short of God’s plans.
Instead of providing an example of a people with an intimate relationship with their God, they, as the scriptures say, prostituted themselves to many idols and grew more distant with the priests, then the judges and the kings.
Like His relationship with Israel, it is God’s intention that our marriage relationships today should reflect Christ’s relationship with His bride, the Church.
Although God gave Israel many teachings, one sticks out which is important to our topic today.
They were commanded “not to marry foreign wives”
Now before we misinterpret God’s word into something racial, let me make this clear.
When God commanded the Israelites not to marry foreigners, it’s not because they are a different color, or from another country, or because they look different.
It was simply because they worshipped idols and pagan gods.
God knew that if the Israelites were to marry those who did not worship the true God of heaven, that the influences of these foreign wives would influence and eventually poison the house, the husband, the children and the bloodline.
Deuteronomy 7:3-4
“Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons, 4 for they will turn your sons away from following me to serve other gods, and the LORD’s anger will burn against you and will quickly destroy you.”
God’s reasoning is clear.
God did not want His people to intermarry with those who were locked into sin.
He did not want them to merge in with these people, to intermarry, giving and taking wives until the cultures were so intertwined that their enemies sin became their own.
God foresaw this, and thus commanded against it.
But Israel repeatedly refused to follow His command.
And this always resulted in their adoption of idol worship.
The beautiful image of intimacy with God that He intended became corrupted and polluted by sin.
The Bible is clear on this. Time and again, God brought His people back to Himself, only for them to fall away from Him under the influence of their neighbors.
So today, can we truly believe that our faith is so strong that it could survive this test, when dozens of generations have already shown they could not?
Clearly we can see in Israel’s pattern the danger of disobeying God.
God’s commandment stands eternal, He has instructed His people to marry within the family of God, and we can easily recognize the wisdom of His command.
So, with this in mind, what does the New Testament say about the matter?
One of the most quoted verses in the Bible on this topic is;
2 Corinthians 14-18
“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15What harmony is there between Christ and Belial[b]? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people."[c]
17"Therefore come out from them
and be separate, says the Lord.
Touch no unclean thing,
and I will receive you."[d]
18"I will be a Father to you,
and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.”
This verse is in the midst of a passage where Paul is describing some general principles for the Corinthian church to live by.
Because in the previous verses he speaks on serving God in purity and patience along with other character traits, and after this verse he talks about purity of heart and holiness, I feel that this verse should be applied as a life principle, as all the other virtues he described should be.
We are instructed to avoid making covenants with non-believers in verse 14.
As a life principle it applies to marriage as well.
1 Corinthians 7:39
“39A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.”
Are we to believe that there is a different standard for widows than the rest of the church?
Of course not.
Why is this so important? Why must he belong to the Lord?
1 Corinthians 7:3
“The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.”
How can I give myself completely to the Lord if my body belongs to my wife and she is not a Christian?
If she’s not a Christian then she is not in submission to the Lord.
If a woman is bound to her husband while he is alive, and he is not a Christian, how can God bless them and their household?
If Christ is not his head, then the household does not belong to God.
If we think of the different ways we could enter into a covenant with a non-Christian, we can see and understand how it would limit our capacity to fulfill our covenant with God.
This limitation, together with the possibility of being brought into or adopting the non-believers sins, is the reason Paul admonishes us against entering into covenant with non-believers.
For you to receive blessings from God, and benefits from God, and protection from God, you house needs to belong to God.
For your house to belong to God, Christ must be the head.
Christ becomes the head when the man in the house makes Christ his head and serves Him alone.
If the man is not a Christian, this will not happen.
So we see here that we are not to marry an unbeliever.
But what if you were married before you found Christ?
What if only one of you has accepted the Lord?
What do you do when only one of you is serving Christ?
1. Don’t look for a way out!
Divorce is not an easy solution for troubled marriage. Paul clearly instructs Christians who are married to non-Christians not to divorce.
1 Corinthians 7:12-14
“To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.”
So, the unbeliever is sanctified through the believing spouse.
Do you know what that means?
It doesn’t mean that they are automatically saved.
It means because you belong to God, your other half, is sanctified, or “set apart” for God.
Because of your devotion to the Lord, you have sanctified your mate.
John 6:44
“No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him, and I will raise him up at the last day.”
The two of you become one hen you are married, and because you accept the Lord, God sanctifies, or sets apart your mate, drawing them to Christ.
That doesn’t mean they are automatically saved, it means God begins to work in their lives revealing Christ to them.
Paul says this because not only is there a chance the other may accept the Lord through the believer, but the children will remain clean and holy.
Clean here means sanctified as well.
To be common or unclean in the scriptures simply means you are not sanctified or set apart for the Lord.
Your presence in the home has great beneficial influence.
Paul goes on;
1 Corinthians 7:15
“But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?”
Therefore, if your non-Christian spouse is unwilling to live with you and demonstrates his or her refusal to abide in the covenant of marriage by abandoning or divorcing you, this behavior sets you free from the relationship.
Also, if your spouse is physically abusive toward you or your children, this demonstrates that your mate is unwilling to live with you in a peaceable manner. Remember what we just read, “God has called u to live in peace.”
God clearly communicated this concern for His people in Deuteronomy;
Deuteronomy 12:10
“… he will give you rest from all your enemies around you so that you will live in safety.”
You should never allow yourself or your children to be abused in any way.
2. Be realistic.
If you are not in an abusive situation, and your spouse is not committing adultery, and they are willing to live peaceably with you, then you should stay.
Just because you have found he Lord doesn’t mean you spouse is going to be instantly saved.
We need to rest in the assurance that God is at work in your unsaved mate’s life as He has promised.
Therefore, give your unsaved mate a little consideration based on your knowledge of their condition.
Give them some space and patience, and continue to pray that God will open their eyes.
3. And the last point, PRAY!
Prayer is your greatest and most powerful weapon in the struggle to maintain your marriage.
James 5:16
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”
The original Greek for powerful is ischuo, which literally means “to have force and extraordinary power”.
Do you want to exert extraordinary force and power upon your unsaved spouses heart and mind?
Then pray!
Ask God to continually speak and touch your spouse’s heart, to soften it, and to bind Satan’s blinding power in their life.
When Jesus healed the demon possessed man He explained His method of setting people free from Satan’s power.
Matthew 12:29
“how can anyone enter a strong man’s house and carry off his possessions unless he first ties up the strong man? Then he can rob his house.”
If your loved one is to be plundered from the kingdom of darkness you must fight this battle in prayer.
Jesus has given you authority over all the supernatural power of the enemy.
Luke 10:19
“I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.”
Your authority is not based on your power or ability, but on the powerful name of Jesus.
Hold your loved one before the throne of God and ask the Father to convict as well as remove the blindness from your spouse.
1 Thessalonians 5:17
“Pray without ceasing.”
Don’t get discouraged if you don’t see immediate results.
Remember, your spouse must respond to God’s conviction and revelation on their own free will.
Psalm 19:7
“The law of the Lord is perfect converting the soul.”
No amount of pleading, pressure, intimidation, coercion, personality, coaxing, bribery, convincing, manipulation, force or any other method works as the law of the Lord.
Only the word of God and the Holy Spirit can do that.
Psalm 27:14 - Wait for the LORD; be of good courage, He shall strengthen your heart and wait for the LORD.
