Introduction: This morning we are going to look at Peter’s comments concerning submissiveness. Several months we looked at Ephesians 5 and the phrase said “Wives submit to your own husband.” I told you then that the word “submit” was not there in the Greek. Well it is present in Peter’s writing. Peter’s message to us here today sets the stage for just how important a good witness really is in this world.
Attention: Did you ever wonder just how powerful a truly gentle spirit is when compared to others we see every day?
Today we will look at…. Let’s read:
Passage: 1 Peter 3:1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward -- arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel -- 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. 7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. (NKJV)
Need: People need the Lord and your spirit can have an effect on them. Every believer needs to make a conscious choice about where they personally stand in regards to serving the Lord with their life. People do see how you live and talk in this world and that does have an impact on how others feel about and the Christ you serve.
Textual Idea: In our passage, Peter speaks to the issue of the effects of a submissive spirit, adornment; he compares women of his day to Sarah, Abraham’s wife and then comments to husbands on how to regard your own wife.
Interrogative: So let me ask this morning’s question: Is the idea of submission a real part of your life or is it something to you that our culture has outdated?
Transition: Our text this morning makes comment to both husbands and wives and suggests that our obedience to them can and does have an effect on how others view our Lord.
1. Wives are to be submissive to their own husband; whether or not he is a believer or an obedient believer.
Explanation: In any orderly grouping of people there is always a leader. In the family God ordained that it would be the husband. I realize that this teaching is counter to what modern culture says, but it is not God or Scriptural teaching that has moved.
Illustration: Driving down a country road in Tennessee, I came to a narrow bridge. In front of the bridge, a sign was posted: "YIELD." Seeing no oncoming cars, I continued across the bridge. On my way back, I came to the same one-lane bridge, now from the other direction. To my surprise, I saw another YIELD sign posted. Curious, I thought, "I’m sure there was one posted on the other side." When I reached the other side of the bridge I looked back. Sure enough, yield signs had been placed at both ends of the bridge. Drivers from both directions were requested to give right of way. It was a reasonable and gracious way of preventing a head-on collision. When the Bible commands Christians to "be subject to one another" (Ephesians 5:21) it is simply a reasonable and gracious command to let the other have the right of way and avoid interpersonal head-on collisions.
Argumentation: A person who is unwilling to be led is not worthy or capable of leading.
Application: How is your “followship.” It is here that one’s ability to lead is developed. Scripture is very clear that regardless of your husband’s level of “surrenderedness” the Lord can use your gentle and quiet spirit to bring him to a position of salvation. Let the Holy Spirit do the convicting of sin. You make sure that your mouth does not ever say, “Judgment day is coming, turn or burn…” Those comments did not come from God on the contrary – while they may be factual statement they usurp or take control of who it is in life who is supposed to do the convicting of sin. If it is you, then know that you are wrong. It is the Holy Spirit’s job.
Transition: Not only will a submissive spirit assist in leading others to the Lord, it is important that wives understand the part that physical and spiritual adornment should play in their lives.
2. Outward and Inward Adornment
Explanation: I want you to pay close attention to that first part of the verse. Many, many, many people view that verse as a command to not adorn your self or make yourself look better with the use of make up. Many people choose to see this small portion of a verse as such a monumental command against a woman’s attempt to keep herself looking good. Well let me explain it in this way, they are wrong.
The context of the passage is not a commanding manner. It emphatically does not say; do not make yourself look nice. The context of the passage demands that it is a comparative passage. The context is saying that between the two physical and spiritual adornments it is far better to adorn one’s self with spiritual adornment. So if you wish to spend sometime making your self look nice it is okay.
Make the natural flow of someone’s eyes and thoughts be to your face not the rest of your body.
Argumentation: I will admit that looking at a person who is dressed neatly, clean and proper is nice but the verse says that although you adorn yourself it is far better to adorn yourself spiritually.
Application: This Scripture is saying that arraigning hair and wearing gold or fine apparel is normal and expected but it ranks as less important than spiritual matters. The beauty that comes from one’s gentle and quiet spirit cannot be underestimated. Make that a priority when getting dressed in the morning.
Transition: Not only is one’s walk and proper adornment important; so is one’s demeanor and level of respect toward your husband.
3. Compare yourself with Sarah
Explanation: I am aware that Jesus is our only guide but many others are examples before us. Scripture points out that Sarah chose to adorn herself with spiritual matters. She showed a wonderful level of respect toward Abraham by calling him “lord.” I am not saying that you need to be barefoot and pregnant and sit in the corner when all your chores are done. I am saying that it is good in God’s eyes to be and to show respect toward your husband.
Illustration: Ladies I am not saying when company is around to address your husband as lord. He would die of a heart attack and you would be alone. I HEARD THAT…
Application: Respect is a powerful thing. It shows the other person that you care for and trust their opinions and ability.
4. Husbands are to demonstrate God’s love toward his wife.
Explanation: It says dwell with them with understanding. Now I could go out on a limb and get into trouble by saying that this is God’s sense of humor. But I am not going to say that. God has determined the roles we are to take and we should trust that he has given us the ability to fulfill those roles.
Illustration: In the eleventh century, King Henry III of Bavaria grew tired of court life and the pressures of being a monarch. He made application to Prior Richard at a local monastery, asking to be accepted as a contemplative and spend the rest of his life in the monastery. "Your Majesty," said Prior Richard, "do you understand that the pledge here is one of obedience? That will be hard because you have been a king." "I understand," said Henry. "The rest of my life I will be obedient to you, as Christ leads you." "Then I will tell you what to do," said Prior Richard. "Go back to your throne and serve faithfully in the place where God has put you." When King Henry died, a statement was written: "The King learned to rule by being obedient." When we tire of our roles and responsibilities, it helps to remember God has planted us in a certain place and told us to be a good accountant or teacher or mother or father. Christ expects us to be faithful where he puts us, and when he returns, we’ll rule together with him.
Argumentation: The words give honor actually mean to show great respect for. Look at it this way, if you treat your wife with contempt especially in public, what does that say to others about you. The reason to give her honor is because she is a joint heir to all that you are. She is your equal before God in every manner. The only difference is that she is subject to you in the family matters. Those words certainly do not mean that she is inferior in any manner to you.
Application: How is your attitude toward your wife? Do you honor her? Ladies do you respect your husband?
Transition: By showing proper respect and attitudes between husband and wives shows that they are approved before God and usable vessels for Kingdom Service.
5. Conclusion:
Visualization: Remember the love and joy you had earlier in your marriage. Let’s commit to working out the differences in our marriages and work toward harmonious relationships.
Reiteration:
1. Wives are to be submissive to their own husband; whether or not he is a believer or an obedient believer.
2. Outward and Inward Adornment
3. Compare yourself with Sarah
4. Husbands are to demonstrate God’s love toward his wife.
Action: It is essential for us treat each other in the same manner as the Bible lies out so that our prayers may not be hindered.
