The Home as God Intended
Part 3 – First Comes Love
Rev. Bruce A. Shields
First Baptist Church of Tawas City Michigan
www.TawasBaptist.org
WELCOME
PRAYER
We are continuing our series on discovering the home as God intended it to be.
Last week we discussed how all of the benefits, blessings and disciplines in the scriptures pivot on your salvation.
We also talked about true conversion, and how we can be sure that we have accepted Christ for the reason He died for us, because we have sinned against God.
And it is God’s law that shows us our sin and need for salvation, and Christ who has become that sacrifice so that whosoever believes on Him, will be saved.
This week we are going to talk about marriage.
Salvation is really the pre-requisite of marriage, because marriage is an institution by God, and was created to include God.
It’s not just a man and woman making a commitment to each other.
A marriage is a covenant between two people and God.
This is why God hates divorce, because you have broken a covenant with Him.
By the way, to those who believe that divorce is worse than anything else we do against God in our lives, you’re mistaken.
Yes God hates divorce, but it is not worse than any other sin against God, and it can be forgiven.
The scriptures tell us that the only unforgivable sin is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit.
There are many reasons people get divorced today.
Some are legitimate, such as adultery, perversion or physical or other natured abuse toward the spouse or children.
When we make a covenant with God, and say “for better or worse.” That does not mean God expects someone to stay in a relationship where their life, or the lives of their children, are in danger.
But God warns us of this when He tells us “not to be unequally yoked.”
But God has to be part of that covenant for there to be a covenant.
Two pagans who marry are not going to be able to apply the biblical principals of marriage and expect to see positive results because God is not part of that union.
God did not bring those two together.
As far as God is concerned, no marriage ever took place because God was not part of it.
And He has to be for there to be a marriage.
Today, we do not take the institution of marriage seriously.
Households headed by unmarried couples grew by almost 72% during the last decade.
Households headed by single mothers increased by more than 25% and those led by single fathers grew by almost 62%.
1/3 of all babies were born to unmarried women.
That’s 33% compared to only 3.8% in 1940.
Living together without being married increased 1000% from 1960 to 1998.
This is not what God had in mind when He created the family unit.
This is not God’s plan.
Jesus tells us “A house divided can not stand.”
Now we see our families and our houses falling.
For God’s principals to apply to our lives and our households, we need to be living the structure God intended us to have.
What does God say constitutes a family or house?
1. A man shall unite unto his wife.
Genesis 2:24
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”
Do you see here how God does not expect you to divorce?
How can you separate one flesh?
This union is usually represented in marriages by the bride and groom lighting a unity candle.
And just as you cannot separate the two flames once they light the unity candle, so is marriage.
This is the seriousness that needs to be taken about marriage.
This verse is teaching commitment and dedication, not just shacking up.
Many people today seem to be lacking commitment and responsibility.
The marriage is so important; it must come even before your mother and father!
I have some friends; back in school we called them mama’s boys.
Guess what; when you get married there is no more mamas’ boy!
You have become ONE with your wife.
It’s time to cut that umbilical cord.
It’s time to grow a backbone, stand up tall and be the godly man of your house that God has created you to be.
Do you know why we had the women’s movement in America?
Women’s Lib is men’s fault.
If women were being treated in the way God instructs us to treat them, women would have never felt the need to revolt against a male dominating society which tells them they are not important, but an object owned just as you own your house or car, and that you are “THE MAN OF THE HOUSE”, “KING OF THE CASTLE”, while you live by the worlds standards as opposed to God’s, well guess what,
This is why your house is failing, your children despise your rule, your wife doesn’t want to be intimate with you and your marriage is failing.
A HOUSE DIVIDED CANNOT STAND.
It’s time to wake up, let the old man die, and put on the new as we are instructed to do when we accept Christ.
We are a new creation and we need to be godly men of our houses.
We are the spiritual heads, not the kings or sultans to be served by our spouses and offspring, but godly men of integrity who live by God’s standards, and are pillars of our community, and active in our church so that we are living examples of Gods love and discipline to our children so that when they grow, they will love the God of their father, and want to serve Him out of that love as opposed to out of fear of wrath.
2. The husband is the head
Genesis 3:16
“To the woman he said,
"I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing;
with pain you will give birth to children.
Your desire will be for your husband,
and he will rule over you."
Why, because of the fall.
Because Eve got the ball in motion, she lost her equal part of the spiritual leadership of the house.
1 Corinthians 11:3
“Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.”
Men, is Christ the head of you?
If not, you have no business claiming to be the head of your house.
You do not receive head of house by default.
You receive biblical and spiritual head of your home when you make Christ your head.
Only then are you worthy of leadership in your home.
Ephesians 5:22-25a
“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her… ”
Husbands, you are to love (lit. agapao, which means to have HER best interest in mind) your wife, as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her.
3. The ideal family functions in unison with God as their controller.
For the family to function successfully, and your house to stand, it must function in a godly manner; that is the children are to be in subjection to their parents, not the other way around.
Ephesians 6:1-3
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2"Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."
Great care must be taken to provide spiritual training, discipline, and education for the children.
Ephesians 6:4
“4Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
When we live our roles s God instituted them, then blessings will abound and our homes will function the way they were intended by God.
Too many times I see houses where the children rule.
A few years ago I knew single mother who allowed her very young daughter to call all the shots.
There was no question of who was in charge of that house.
What happens when children are not disciplined and kept under submission and rule of their parents?
Proverbs 29:15
“The rod of correction imparts wisdom,
but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.”
I have friends who were never properly disciplined as children. One of them was my cousin.
My uncle was a hard man, who disciplined all the time.
But his discipline was ungodly and unjust.
He did not bring my cousin up with training or instruction of the Lord.
My cousin is currently serving his 12th in prison for a 15 year sentence for manslaughter.
Is godly discipline important?
Ask my cousin.
He is a living result of a man who ruled his house with a fist of iron and a heart of stone.
There is more to being the head of a house than tyranny.
The home was designed by God to be Christ, husband, wife, and children.
All of whom live together under God’s rule, with the father living as he is instructed by God.
Men, the second you step away from God’s instruction, Christ is no longer your head, and you are no longer fit to lead.
Stay the course, follow instruction and serve God with all of your heart.
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