Whenever I preached here a couple of months ago, I shared some of my testimony and I briefly touched on the subject of forgiveness and the powerful affect that it had on me.
I know that the Lord dealt with some of you in that service and about some issues in your own life.
There is unbelievable power in forgiveness.
There is unbelievable liberty and freedom which comes to a person through forgiveness.
If I can get one point across to you today it’s simply this, “Forgive... and Set YOURSELF Free!”
You hold the power to your own freedom in your grasp today.
It’s the power of forgiveness.
I’ll never forget the words of my therapist, Nanette, when she said, “Robbie, you simply need to forgive and you can be free.”
It wasn’t what I was expecting to hear.
It certainly wasn’t what I was wanting to hear.
And at that time in my life, it wasn’t even what I thought that I needed to hear.
You see, for 17 years of my life, I had been battling addiction and alcoholism and my life had been completely ruined by it.
In my sick, tormented mind, I thought that drugs were my major problem.
I had absolutely no understanding that drugs were only a symptom of the real killer living inside of me.
I was absolutely filled with shame and guilt caused by years of reckless living.
Yet, I thought that all of that would just go away if I was able to get off of the drugs.
So when Nanette told me to “forgive and I’d be free”, she really had my head spinning.
I didn’t understand how that could possibly make any difference at all in my addiction, which was the reason I was in the facility to begin with.
But that’s because I didn’t yet understand the power of Total Forgiveness.
I laid in the bed of my apartment in that treatment facility that night and I wept bitter tears until the wee hours of the morning.
I remember wrestling within myself about what she had told me that day.
Forgive... Forgive... Forgive...
I didn’t understand what she meant.
Here was a lady, who by her own admission, was not a Christian, yet she was telling me about forgiveness.
I was in shock.
I THOUGHT I knew all about it.
I’d been raised in church and the word forgiveness was SPOKEN of often, yet it was something that I rarely saw practiced.
I didn’t really have a clue, as to the meaning, nor the power of Total Forgiveness.
So in my bed that night, as I tossed around and wept, I asked God to please help me.
Help me to understand what she meant and help me to better understand the act of forgiveness.
When I sincerely began praying about it, revelation began to come into my spirit and for the first time in my life, I began to have a glimpse of forgiveness.
Over the next few months I began working on a process of forgiveness... Total Forgiveness.
When I began to totally forgive, I finally felt forgiven.
You can’t buy that feeling, nor can you find it anywhere else.
She was right.
I found freedom from drugs and alcohol, simply through the power of forgiveness and by the Grace of God.
God has sent me today with a message, “Forgive and Set YOURSELF Free!”
You say, “But Brother Robbie, I’m not an addict or an alcoholic, so this message isn’t gonna be for me.”
I didn’t come today to talk about addiction.
I’m simply talking about the act of Total Forgiveness.
If you are harboring any resentments or bitterness, then you are bound by the bonds of unforgiveness.
You may feel like it’s impossible for you to forgive that one who’s hurt you so deeply.
That one who’s betrayed you.
The individual who took advantage of your kindness.
Those who have talked about you and lied about you and those who’ve believed the lies.
Often closer to home, there are unkind or unloving relatives and former close friends who’ve become your enemies.
The list of offenses and offenders is endless.
Many times we find that it’s easier to forgive, when our offender has paid a penalty and is on their knees in a show of repentance for the offense.
But remember at the foot of the cross of Jesus Christ, no one seemed very sorry.
There was no “JUSTICE” at His trial - If you can even call it a trial.
Rather, the crowd shouted, “Crucify Him!” Mark 15:13.
They hurled insults at Him.
They spat upon Him.
He was beaten senseless, until the flesh literally hung off of his body and His blood pooled around Him on the ground.
They mocked and cursed Him.
The original text says that they literally beat His face off.
He hung there on that cross, an innocent man.
Never in all of history has there been one who has been done so wrong.
In all of history Jesus Christ is the only innocent man who has bore the wrongs and the sins of every other human being and paid the penalty for their sins.
Yet, He didn’t curse back at them.
He didn’t seek vengence.
He didn’t spit on them.
He didn’t tell everyone else that He was innocent and say how sorry these people were who were doing Him so wrong.
He didn’t even waste His time telling them, “I forgive you.”
To do so would have been like casting His pearls before swine.
It would have been a waste of words, because they didn’t think they were doing anything wrong.
But He went beyond all of that.
He painted us a picture of what it really means to Totally Forgive.
He prayed for them.
He prayed, “FATHER, FORGIVE THEM, FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO!”
He was showing that not only had He forgiven them, but He was asking His Father in Heaven to forgive them.
He was releasing them from their guilt.
He was asking His Father not to punish or take revenge upon them.
The ultimate proof of total forgiveness takes place when you and I sincerely petition God to let those who have hurt us off the hook, NO MATTER WHAT THEY’VE DONE!
Some folks have said that it’s unnatural to forgive, but I say that’s not quite true.
The motivation to forgive often has a very natural explanation.
Jesus Himself, speaks to us in such a way that should get our attention when He said in Matthew 7:1&2 (Amplified Version): “Do not judge and criticize and condemn others, so that you may not be judged and criticized and condemned yourselves. For just as you judge and criticize and condemn others, you will be judged and criticized and condemned and in accordance with the measure you use to deal out to others, it will be dealt out again to you.”
One selfish motive for not judging others, is to keep from being judged ourselves.
Hey, no where in the Word of God does He say that it will be easy, but it’s a choice that we must make.
I still struggle in this area myself, but I keep working on it everyday of my life.
I have to choose to forgive each and everyday.
I have to decide what’s more important in my life, getting even with an enemy who’s hurt me or my family deeply or forgiving completely that individual and being in harmony with the Holy Spirit and the blessing of God.
For me, that’s not even a choice!
I MUST FORGIVE!
Webster’s Definition: FORGIVE: (1) To cease to feel resentment against an offender. (2) To Pardon. (3) To give up resentment of or claim to requital for an insult or injury. (4) To grant relief of payment for a debt.
The Word of God has not left forgiveness open for debate.
We have a mandate to forgive.
Ephesians 4:32 in the Amplified reads, “And become useful and helpful and kind to one another, tenderhearted, compassionate, understanding, loving hearted, FORGIVING one another readily and freely, as God in Christ Forgave You.”
Collossians 3:13 says, “Be gentle and forebearing with one another and if one has a difference ( a grievance or a complaint) against another, readily pardoning each other; even as the Lord has freely forgiven you, so must you also forgive.”
How has the Lord forgiven me? Completely and Unconditionally!
My sins, which are many, will never be held against me and He will never let anyone else know what all I’ve done.
Psalms 103:12 says, “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He moved our transgressions from us.”
Therefore, the Word of God tells us that we should not hold a grudge and continue in our bitterness and resentment toward our offenders.
I’ll hold nothing against them, and I won’t tell other people, not even my closest friends or my family, what they’ve done.
I do realize and support 100% the help of counseling.
I, myself, have been the beneficiary of it’s help in healing.
I believe that there are times in our lives when we go through certain things that leave us so hurt and wounded that we must talk about them, but our motives must be right.
We must choose our counselor carefully.
We need to find one person, who is able to help us in our healing, not in causing us to become more resentful and not someone who will encourage us to seek vengence.
We’ve got to find a place of forgiveness or else bitterness will eat us up like a cancer.
WHAT FORGIVENESS IS NOT:
1. It’s not an approval of what the offender has done.
God never approved of our sin.
He hates sin.
Jesus forgave the woman found to be in adultery, but He didn’t approve of what she had done.
He told her to leave her life of sin.
Now, just as God forgives us without approving of what we’ve done, we must also learn that forgiving others does not mean that we endorse their evil deeds.
We CAN forgive what we don’t approve of, because that’s exactly the way that God has dealt with each of us.
2. Forgiveness is not Justifying what they’ve done.
To justify means to make something right or just.
God will never call something that is evil, right and He doesn’t require us to do so.
While we are required to forgive, we should never attempt to make what is wrong look like it is right.
3. Forgiveness is not reconciliation, although reconciliation can be birthed through forgiveness.
They are not one in the same.
Reconciliation requires the participation of two people.
The person that you forgive may not want to see or talk to you.
They may have passed away since the time of the offense.
Or you may not even want to maintain a close relationship to the person you forgive.
Just because you forgive someone and release them from their debt to you, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you want to spend your vacation with them.
And if they don’t want to forgive you, then that’s their part.
You can’t control the choices of others, only of yourself.
4. Forgiveness is not a denial of what happened.
Denying that an offense took place is almost always an unconscious decision.
Some people for numerous reasons, live in a state of denial.
It’s painful to face the facts of some situations and at times denial seems to be the easiest way out.
But it almost always has a negative effect on our spiritual and mental well-being.
The denial doesn’t remove the wound, in fact it often times causes more problems.
Many times it will lead the person who’s living in denial to have high blood pressure, nervousness, irritability, depression and even a heart attack.
True forgiveness can only come when we face reality and come to terms with what really happened to us and admit, “This person actually did or said this to me.”
Someone who is trying to forgive, but is actually pretending that the event never happened, will eventually explode and will then become an offender themselves.
Paul said in 1st Corinthians 13:5, that love keeps no record of wrongs, but he didn’t mean that you should be in denial of a wrong.
He’s simply saying that love will not store a wrong.
It will not hold on to a wrong, but he does not mean that you should deny that it happened.
5. Forgiveness is not necessarily forgetting.
We’ve all heard the statement, “Forgive and forget.”
Forgiveness is something that we can and must do.
But forgetting a painful experience is not very realistic.
Forgiveness doesn’t erase our memories.
But although we can’t completely forget a painful past event, we must not dwell on it.
We have to tell our past Good Bye.
We’ve got to let it go.
6. Another thing that forgiveness is not, is pretending that we’re not hurt.
It’s insane to think that we won’t be hurt when we’re unjustly criticized or betrayed by someone we love.
Jesus was obviously hurt when He was struck in the face by a High priest’s official.
He even asked the man, “Why did you strike me?”
Jesus didn’t deny or try to cover up the shame of the cross, but He endured it.
And then He was still able to pray, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
WHAT TOTAL FORGIVENESS IS:
1. It’s being aware of what someone has done and still forgiving them.
Total forgiveness is painful.
There’s no doubt, it hurts to kiss revenge good bye.
It hurts to think that the offender is getting away with what they did to us and nobody will ever find out.
But when we know fully what they’ve done and accept in our hearts that they will be blessed without any consequences for their wrong, we cross over into a supernatural realm.
We begin to be a little more like Jesus.
2. Total forgiveness is choosing to keep no record of wrongs.
1st Corinthians 13:5 says that love keeps no record of wrongs.
Why do we sometimes keep track of the times we’re offended?
To use them.
To prove what happened to us.
To remind the offender of what they did to us.
Sometimes a spouse may say in the heat of an argument, “I’ll remember that.”
And he does!
She may say to him, “I’ll never forget that.”
And she doesn’t!
Many marriages could be healed over night, if the parties would stop finger pointing.
God blesses people who do away with finger pointing as we find in Isaiah 58:9.
Love is a choice and so is total forgiveness.
It’s not a feeling - at least at first - but rather an act of the will.
It’s a choice to tear up our record book of wrongs that we’ve been carrying around with us for years.
When total forgiveness becomes a lifestyle, we learn to erase the wrong rather than file it away in our mental computer.
When we do this all the time - as a way of life - it will soon become a feeling and a very good feeling.
3. Total forgiveness is refusing to punish.
Although our offender may deserve the most severe of punishments, when we totally forgive, we refuse to wish punishment upon them.
God said that vengeance and vindication belong to Him alone!
He doesn’t need our help.
We need to continually examine ourselves when dealing with people who have hurt us and we must ask ourselves, “How much of what I am about to say or do is an attempt to punish?”
If punishment is our motive, then we’re about to grieve the Holy Spirit, no matter how much right we may have on our side.
4. Total forgiveness is choosing not to tell what they did.
This is a big one for many of us.
We like to tell how that sorry outfit did us wrong and how no good they are.
We can really get carried away in a smear campaign, but that’s not forgiveness.
God has refused to bring up our past.
I must always remember this:
a) I won’t be punished for my sins.
b) Nobody will no about my sins, because my sin is forever covered by the blood of Jesus and He will never expose it or hold it against me.
5. Total forgiveness involves an act of mercy.
Matthew 5:7 Jesus said, “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.”
God has shown us both Grace and Mercy and He wants us to do the same.
The difference between grace and mercy is that grace is getting what we don’t deserve and mercy is not getting what we do deserve.
So when we show mercy we’re withholding our justice from those who have injured us and that is a true aspect of Godliness.
7. It is the absence of bitterness.
Bitterness will manifest itself in many ways - losing your temper, high blood pressure, irritability, sleeplessness, obsession with getting even, depression, isolation, and a negative outlook on life.
We must get rid of bitterness.
It can and will destroy your life.
Believe me, I know first hand the fruits of bitterness.
8. Total forgiveness includes forgiving God.
Many people don’t even realize that they are angry with God, but I know that I was at a time in my life.
I felt like God had even did me wrong in allowing certain things, which I thought of as bad happen to me.
It is true that bad things happen to good people.
But I know this one thing.
I know that Romans 8:28 reads, “All things work together for good to them that love God and to them who are called according to His purpose.”
God has taken all the things in my life, which I once viewed as bad and He has made something wonderful out of them.
He’s taken my old useless past and I’ve witnessed as He has used it to help people in their lives and give them strength and encouragement.
9. One more thing that Total Forgiveness includes is forgiving ourselves.
I’ve heard countless people say and there was a time when I even said it myself, “I know God forgives me, but I just can’t seem to forgive myself.”
My friend, there is no joy in forgiveness if you will not forgive yourself and let yourself off the hook.
It is as wrong as not forgiving others.
God loves you as much as He loves anyone and He has forgiven you, just as He’s forgiven the rest of, now He wants you to forgive yourself.
You are no longer guilty and your past no longer will have a hold on you once you forgive others, God and yourself.
Forgive and set YOURSELF Free!
If you want joy, Forgive!
If you want peace, Forgive!
You will hurt others through your unforgiveness, but no one will suffer like you will.
When you have found yourself in the process of forgiving, begin to pray, sincerely, for your offender to be blessed.
Don’t just say, “I forgive them and leave it there.”
If you want true freedom, begin to sincerely pray for God to bless them and for God to forgive them.
The yokes and bonds of unforgiveness will soon began to be broken in your life and YOU will feel like a bird set free.
Every head bowed and every eye closed.
I want you to search yourself right now and be brutally honest with yourself.
Is there any trace of unresolved anger?
Is there any bitterness or resentment that you’ve struggled with?
Maybe only you and God know about it.
Today is your day to be set free.
Today is your day to begin a lifestyle of forgiveness.
It takes honesty and it takes work, but the benefits package is more than worth the effort and pain.
If you can be honest with yourself today and you can find any trace of unforgiveness in your life and you’d like for me and the ministry of this church to pray for you, then won’t you slip your hand up right where you’re sitting.
You’ll simply be saying Brother Robbie, I’m struggling with something or someone who has left me hurt and wounded and I know that I need to forgive them.
Now, I’d like to ask the ministry of this church to come to forward.
If you raised your hand, won’t you make your way to the front and allow us to pray with you that God will help you as you begin to make the choice to forgive.
