Today marks five years since we first met. I am still glad to be your pastor and I look forward to more years together.
Last year I shared three top ten father’s lists from fathers.com. Does anyone remember what they were? One list was “Top Ten Dinner Dishes When Mom’s Away and Dad’s “Cooking,” the second one was “The Top Ten Things You Won’t Hear a Father Say” and the final one was “The Top Ten Father’s New Year’s Resolution.”
Well, here is another Top Ten list for dads on this Father’s Day 2005. It is entitled “Top Ten Things a Teenage Daughter Doesn’t Want To Hear from Her Dad.”
10. “Let me explain what ’deductible’ means on car insurance.”
9. “Your mom’s almost ready. Where are we going on our double date?”
8. “Seems to me last year’s prom dress still has some life in it.”
7. “I signed us up for the pairs karaoke contest this Friday night.”
6. “We ate possum toes like popcorn when I was a kid.”
5. “Let’s get ice cream, my treat! Just let me grab my jar of coins.”
4. “I am proud that you decided to keep the family unibrow.”
3. “You don’t need to go shopping after all. I picked out a purse for you on my way home.”
2. “I ran into Bobby at the grocery store. I told him that you’re really hoping he’ll ask you to the dance.”
1. “By the way, I had to borrow your deodorant yesterday.”
We conclude our series, “God is in the Small Stuff for Families” with the thought that “God is in the fathering of families.” In July, I will begin a series through the New Testament book of James that will take us through the rest of the summer.
There are many dimensions to fathering and they are all important but the following story illustrates the one that I focus on this morning. It is entitled “The Coolest Dad in The Universe” written by Angie K. Kucer-Ward.
“He was 50 years old when I was born, and a "Mr. Mom" long before anyone had a name for it. I didn’t know why he was home instead of Mom, but I was young and the only one of my friends who had their dad around. I considered myself very lucky.
Dad did so many things for me during my grade-school years. He convinced the school bus driver to pick me up at my house instead of the usual bus stop that was six blocks away. He always had my lunch ready for me when I came home - usually a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that was shaped for the season. My favorite was at Christmas. The sandwiches would be sprinkled with green sugar and cut in the shape of a tree.
As I got a little older and tried to gain my independence, I wanted to move away from those "childish" signs of his love. But he wasn’t going to give up. In high school and no longer able to go home for lunch, I began taking my own. Dad would get up a little early and make it for me. I never knew what to expect. The outside of the sack might be covered with his rendering of a mountain scene (it became his trademark) or a heart inscribed with "Dad-n-Angie K.K." in its center. Inside there would be a napkin with that same heart or an "I love you." Many times, he would write a joke or a riddle, such as "Why don’t they ever call it a momsicle instead of a popsicle?" He always had some silly saying to make me smile and let me know that he loved me.
I used to hide my lunch so no one would see the bag or read the napkin, but that didn’t last long. One of my friends saw the napkin one day, grabbed it, and passed it around the lunchroom. My face burned with embarrassment. To my astonishment, the next day all my friends were waiting to see the napkin. From the way they acted, I think they all wished they had someone who showed them that kind of love. I was so proud to have him as my father. Throughout the rest of my high school years, I received those napkins, and still have a majority of them.
And still it didn’t end. When I left home for college (the last one to leave), I thought the messages would stop. But my friends and I were glad that his gestures continued.
I missed seeing my dad every day after school and so I called him a lot. My phone bills got to be pretty high. It didn’t matter what we said; I just wanted to hear his voice. We started a ritual during that first year that stayed with us. After I said goodbye he always said, "Angie?" "Yes, Dad?" I’d reply. “I love you."
"I love you, too, Dad."
I began getting letters almost every Friday. The front-desk staff always knew who the letters were from - the return address said "The Hunk." Many times the envelopes were addressed in crayon and along with the enclosed letters were usually drawings of our cat and dog, stick figures of him and Mom, and if I had been home the weekend before, of me racing around town with friends and using the house as a pit stop. He also had his mountain scene and the heart-encased inscription, Dad-n-Angie K.K.
The mail was delivered every day right before lunch, so I’d have his letters with me when I went to the cafeteria. I realized it was useless to hide them because my roommate was a high school friend who knew about his napkins. Soon it became a Friday afternoon ritual. I would read the letters, and the drawing and envelope would be passed around.
It was during this time that Dad became stricken with cancer. When the letters didn’t come on Friday, I knew that he had been sick and wasn’t able to write. He used to get up at 4:00 a.m. so he could sit in the quiet house and do his letters. If he missed his Friday delivery, the letters would usually come a day or two later. But they always came. My friends used to call him "Coolest Dad in the Universe." And one day they sent him a card bestowing that title, signed by all of them. I believe he taught all of us about a father’s love. I wouldn’t be surprised if my friends started sending napkins to their children. He left an impression that would stay with them and inspire them to give their own children their expression of their love.
Throughout my four years of college, the letters and phone calls came at regular intervals. But then the time came when I decided to come home and be with him because he was growing sicker, and I knew that our time together was limited. Those were the hardest days to go through to watch this man, who always acted so young, age past his years. In the end, he didn’t recognize who I was and would call me the name of a relative he hadn’t seen in many years. Even though I knew it was due to his illness, it still hurt that he couldn’t remember my name. I was alone with him in his hospital room a couple of days before he died. We held hands and watched TV. As I was getting ready to leave, he said, "Angie?" "Yes, Dad?" "I love you." "I love you, too, Dad."
What Angie received from her father was a heritage of love and support because her dad consciously chose to invest in her for the right reasons. Men, what kind of a heritage are we creating for our kids? God is in the fathering of families and when fathers create a heritage of Godliness and love, good things can happen as a result.
The greatest heritage that we can give children is the heritage of faith and trust in Christ. There are other things that we need to give them, but the greatest is the heritage of faith.
In our main text for this morning, the Psalmist points out the inheritance that comes from the Lord and it is made clearer in a couple of verses prior to out main text: For you are my safe refuge, a fortress where my enemies cannot reach me.
This heritage of which the Psalmist speaks is grounded in the character and promises of God. I suggest this morning that the promises that God made to ancient Israel through the Old Covenant and to all of humanity through the New Covenant made possible by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ are promises that fathers can make to their children.
They are promises of character as evidenced by the requirements of the Ten Commandments that well summarize the Covenant or agreement made between God and ancient Israel. They are promises of love as spoken of in the Great Commandment to love God with all of our being and our neighbor as ourselves as the ultimate fulfillment of the Old Covenant.
Bruce Bickel and Stan Jantz share three important things that a leaving a Godly heritage can do for others. Such a heritage provides:
… A sense of stability and tranquility that transcends the fluctuations of the stock market
… A moral and charitable spirit that can discern how to share an inheritance with those less fortunate
… A sense of priorities that gives meaning to life, whether the inheritance is large or small
In Luke 11:11-13 Jesus asked some questions long this line. “You fathers—if your children ask for a fish, do you give them a snake instead? Or if they ask for an egg, do you give them a scorpion? Of course not! If you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him.”
When God gave the church the gift of the Holy Spirit, He gave the church the power to create a heritage of faithfulness, love, forgiveness, and hope. The Holy Spirit also is given to us as followers of Christ to help us live a heritage of faithfulness, love, forgiveness, and hope especially in our homes.
These comments from Jesus occur in the context of a passage on prayer that features a common theme – persistence. In verses 5 through 8, the persistence of a neighbor for three loaves of bread at the very inconvenient hour of midnight is rewarded because of his persistence.
Then in verses nine through ten, we are given the well-known encouragement to ‘keep on asking, keep on looking, and keeping on knocking” in prayer. Persistence is a necessary ingredient in giving our family a Godly heritage because raising a family is hard work and is a work in progress over many years. It requires the persistence of asking, looking, and knocking in prayer for the help of God.
I want my boys to walk with God. But, I must walk with God myself in a credible way.
I want my boys to respect and honor women. But, I must demonstrate that respect by the way I treat their mother.
I want my boys to serve the church well and support her through thick and thin. But, I must demonstrate that kind of attitude as I serve the church.
I want my boys to serve their community and others. But, I must show them how to serve by my willing example.
I want my boys to act with integrity and honesty in their school work and in their occupation. But, I must demonstrate that through integrity and honesty in my work ethic.
Men, what are you wanting of your children? They look at our actions and not our words.
As followers of Jesus Christ we need to leave a heritage of faithfulness and obedience to Christ that will serve as an example to those who come after us. With the help of God, that is possible! Let’s do men, let’s do it! Amen.
Sources: God is in the Small Stuff for Your Family by Bruce Bickel and Stan Jantz © 1999 Promise Press.
‘The Coolest Dad in the World.” © 1999 Angie K. Kucer-Ward. (Available on numerous websites. Do a search by author or title.)
Top Ten List is from www.fathers.com and is under ‘dad’s humor’ segment.
