Compiled by: Herman Abrahams (Senior Pastor), Cornerstone Faith Ministries, P.O. Box 740, Westridge 7802, Rep. of South Africa.
E-Mail: Mentorship2003@yahoo.co.uk
Note to the reader:
If you have been blessed with this sermon compilation, I would be honoured to receive an e-mail from you simply telling me where in the world you are based- I do not need any other information. I am requesting this info so that I can have the pleasure of giving thanks to Almighty God, that all over the globe, the ministry which he has entrusted to me, is blessing the Body of Christ and helping to extend the Kingdom of God.
Thank you.
Herman Abrahams,
Cape Town, South Africa.
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HUSBANDS LOVE YOUR WIVES (As Your own Bodies)
"Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies." "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one." (Ephesians 5:28,31).
A. HOW SHOULD I LOVE MY WIFE?
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You take care of something you love. That only makes sense. If you take good care of your car, it’s going to run better. Take good care of your business and it will return a better profit. Take good care of your body and it will stay in better health. Take good care of your wife and she will be a better helpmate.
The biblical understanding of marriage is a radical one. It is not simply a relationship between two people. The Bible sees husband and wife as a unity. THEY ARE NO LONGER TWO, BUT ONE. (Matthew 19:6)
Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies (Ephesians 5:28). A man loves his body out of practical necessity. He needs his body. He depends on his body for everything he does. If he expects his body to serve him well, he must take care of it. He cannot take care of himself without at the same time taking care of his body, for he and his body are one.
So with his wife. He is one with her. His love for her is an expression of his love for himself. It springs from their unity, and this from honest self-interest.
The Bible says that God’s intention in creating woman was to provide A fitting helper for man (Gen. 2.18). It is not a role imposed by culture or society. It is a God-ordained calling which harmonises with God’s purpose for her.
A husband who loves his wife will take care of her so she can fulfil this calling. It is a calling that will bless him; it is also a calling that will bring her personal fulfilment, for it accords with her God-created nature. Her husband wants fulfilment for her as he wants it for himself; he loves her as his own body.
B. MY PARTNER AND I ARE ONE
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Two sensitivities guide us in taking care of our bodies. The first is we are sensitive to its NEEDS; the second, we are sensitive to its HURTS.
B1. Sensitive to Her Needs
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A husband has a built-in awareness of his body’s need for food, clothing and a bath.
However, men do not have a built-in awareness of their wives’ needs. They need to develop sensitivity in at least three areas of their wives’ needs.
a) SHE NEEDS TO BE AFFIRMED (Affirm - to Declare Positively)
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A wife needs to be affirmed by her (own) husband. She needs to know that she is important to him.
a(i) Affirmed as a Woman
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She needs to know that she is his woman.
She needs to be affirmed sexually. This means more than taking her to bed. Your wife’s confidence in herself as a woman must extend beyond the bedroom. The QUIET ASSURANCE THAT SHE IS LOVED AND CHERISHED AND WANTED AS A WOMAN BY A PARTICULAR MAN (her husband) must provide an undertone for her whole day. (See Proverbs 5:15 - 20)
THAT KIND OF ASSURANCE COMES FROM THE ACCUMULATION OF MANY. LITTLE AFFIRMATIONS:
· A goodbye kiss in the morning.
· A hello kiss in the evening.
· Boy you do look lovely!" (When she’s all dressed up)
· I really do love you!
A WIFE’S SELF-CONFIDENCE AS A WOMAN WILL LEAVE IT’S MARK ON EVERYTHING SHE DOES.
a(ii). Affirmed as a Wife
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A wife needs to know that her relationship with her husband is unique and God-ordained. She needs to be affirmed in her role as a wife.
Affirmation must be rooted in appreciation. WE NEED TO VOICE OUR APPRECIATION:
· "I really enjoy coming home to you at night."
· "I feel a peace the minute I come in at the door."
· "Your meals are always lovely."
Affirmation in her calling as a wife helps her to see submissiveness not as something degrading, but a good way of relating to someone who loves her and is responsible for her.
(WHAT DO I APPRECIATE ABOUT MY WIFE AND HOW CAN I LET HER KNOW IT?)
a(iii). Affirmed as a Person
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A wife needs to know that she is appreciated for HERSELF.
· she is a unique individual;
· hand Grafted by the Creator;
· has special gifts and talents;
· a style distinct from anyone else’s (DON’T COMPARE HER WITH ANOTHER WOMAN). Men do also not appreciate being compared to other men.
b) SHE NEEDS STATUS IN HER ROLE AS A HOMEMAKER
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No person can function well if she is uncertain as to whether her status in life is valid or that what she does amounts to anything.
The role of homemaker is suffering a severe loss of status in our society. "You can’t make your house and husband and kids your whole life!" is what some people are saying.
I CANNOT GIVE STATUS TO MY WIFE’S ROLE AS A HOMEMAKER UNLESS I GIVE STATUS TO THE HOME.
The feminist movement is a loud declaration that women cannot and will not manage the home and the family by themselves. If the husband assigns a low priority to the home, then the wife and kids will downgrade it also.
STATUS AND HONOUR TO THE HOMEMAKER!
c) SHE NEEDS TO BE REMINDED THAT YOU CARE
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· Love has a short memory. It needs continual reminders:
· "I love you honey";
· Write her a love letter;
· Say it with flowers.
B2. Sensitive to her Hurts
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The second sensitivity in taking care of our bodies is that we are sensitive to it’s hurts.
If I stub my toe or bang my head I take special care of that part which is hurting.
The Bible tells husbands to be gentle so as to cause their wives no hurt. "LOVE YOUR WIVES AND DO NOT BE HARSH WITH THEM." (Colossians 3:19) The husband’s spiritual leadership in the home depends on the way he treats his wife. "LIVE CONSIDERATELY WITH YOUR WIVES ... THAT YOUR PRAYERS MAY NOT BE HINDERED." (1 Peter 3:7)
a) SHE MAY BE HURTING PHYSICALLY
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A husband needs to monitor his wife’s health as his own. If his wife is physically overtaxed he may have to make some adjustments and perhaps consider some of the following:
· Are the family’s priorities right?
· Does the wife need household help?
· Are there some things that you should be taking over?
· Are the children helping?
· Are you or your wife’s standards to high?
· Does she need a holiday?
b) SHE MAY BE HURTING EMOTIONALLY
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The first need when someone is hurting on the inside is not to do something, it is merely to listen, to understand and to share the hurt. (See also the lesson on COMMUNICATION). ***
Primary Bibliography: Larry Christenson – The Christian Couple
