Lots of times, I share a personal story to start the message each week. But not today. Why not? I’m talking about the hurts of life that come from other people. And like everyone, I’ve been hurt. But my hurts don’t compare with a lot of yours. I know so many of your stories. Deep hurt. There is lots of hurt in this room every weekend.
As a child, your mother slapped you; your dad hit you; a parent left home and you felt it was your fault.
What do you do with all that hurt?
As a teen, you were damaged forever by the cutting words from your brothers and sisters; you were told by parents that you’ll to amount to anything; you were abused sexually.
What do you do with all that hurt?
As an adult, your spouse walked out; your ex has taken advantage of you financially; someone has turned kids against you.
What do you do with all that hurt?
I’ve often said at CVCC that the seven most difficult words in a relationship could be: “I was wrong. Will you forgive me?” Gregg, our administrative pastor sometimes says, “Rick, I want you to know we are applying what we learn here.” So, he’ll talk about another staff member, “Jane was wrong and I forgive her!”
This week, I’ve been thinking that those really are hard words to say. When you’ve been hurt really badly, it’s probably easier to say, “I was wrong. Will you forgive me?” than “You were wrong and I forgive you.”
Lock in on a hurt. Do you have something/someone in mind? “You were wrong. And I forgive you.” When was the last time you said that… and meant it?
I know some things that are true I will sin against you and you will sin against me.
Next week, invisible war. How do you handle the people in your life who make things difficult for you?
Chances are, they’re not the real issue.
In this series, we’ll see what’s going on for what it really is - spiritual warfare, not just problems with those people.
This series will help you learn to fight and win against your greatest enemy – one you can’t even see.
When it comes to outreach, we encourage you to invest and invite. Hopefully, you’ve been investing in people outside the faith. In our program are some invite cards. Use them this week to invite some people for our services in July.
Today, forgive for good.
I like this title for the talk. Forgive for good means forgive forever. Let it go. Bury the hatchet. And forgive for good means that great good comes from forgiving. It’s good for the glory of God. It’s good for the person you forgive. And it’s good for you. Why? Forgiving others sets you free.
Is there anyone you
wouldn’t want to run into
in a long, narrow hallway?
O… and by the way, there are no doors! Lock in on someone who’s hurt you! Who is it? What did they do?
Jesus talked a lot about forgiveness. One of His followers, Peter, heard Jesus talk about it and saw Him give it. Peter had a question:
Then Peter came up and said to Him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?”
3 x 2 + 1 = 7
Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.”
Matthew 18:21-22 (ESV)
Not 490 and then… wham! An indefinite number is the idea. The Jesus told a story. It’s a good one with a scary twist at the end.
(Show the Matthew 18:23-35 video clip…)
Receive.
Have you really received the forgiveness from God?
In the story, the King is God the Father. And we are the servant who owes the huge debt.
10,000 talents = 8 billion dollars. It’s huge. There is no way the man can pay that debt. But he begs for mercy… and gets it.
Out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.
Matthew 18:27 (ESV)
My name in the verse…
He came to pay a debt He did not owe because I owed a debt I could not pay.
You married her and you had some expectations. She’s letting you down financially, sexually, emotionally. You are bitter and resentful and angry. Truth be told, you are in jail – in prison.
If that’s you, you need to receive God’s forgiveness.
To forgive for good… receive. You need to know that forgiving others sets you free.
Recall.
If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone.
Matthew 18:15a (ESV)
Compare verses 26 and 29.
26 So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, “Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.”
29 So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, “Have patience with me, and I will pay you.”
He should have remembered. Hey, I’ve heard this before! It’s what I said to the King and He forgave me!
When you are hurt by someone, you have to remember. “I’ve been forgiven a huge debt by a great King. He’s had patience with me. He’s released me. He’s forgiven me. And I should do the same with that person who ahs hurt me!”
You’ve raised your child in the church. Now, you can’t believe how he mouths off at you. He’s said some things that cut deeply. And you are wounded. You can’t let it go. It affects how you act toward your kid. You’re cold. And you can’t even pray for him. Truth be told, you are in jail – in prison.
If that’s you, you need to recall God’s forgiveness.
To forgive for good… recall. You need to know that forgiving others sets you free.
Release.
Why release? It makes us like God. Follow Jesus. Father forgive.
Bear with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
Colossians 3:12-13 (ESV)
You think your dad is the meanest man in town. And maybe he is. You’ve been yelled at, beat up, and lied to. The hardest thing you had to do was give him something for Father’s Day. Inside, you can’t wait to get out of that house. Truth be told, you are in jail – in prison.
If that’s you, you need to release that person.
To forgive for good… release. You need to know that forgiving others sets you free.
Forgiveness –
deciding that someone
who has wronged you
doesn’t have to pay.
FAQs
How will I know if I’ve forgiven?
In anger his master delivered him to the jailers,[l] until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.
Matthew 18:34-35
If you are in jail, you have not forgiven.
What is the jail? A bitter soul. You build your own prison. I doesn’t really affect the other person. They are going on with their lives. It consumes you.
What if the one who hurt me never asks for forgiveness?
Just like I don’t look for “Thank you,” when I serve, I don’t look for “I’m sorry” when I put out my hand to forgive.
Do I have to forgive and forget?
Shouldn’t the one who hurt me have to pay?
Never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord."
Romans 12:19 (ESV)
What if I can’t (won’t) forgive?
Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
Matthew 6:12
If you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Matthew 6:14-15
Sinner’s prayer here.
Is there anyone you wouldn’t want to run into in a long, narrow hallway?
* * *
Corrie Ten Boom lived through the holocaust during WWII. Her family hid Jews from the Germans in Holland. Eventually, her whole family was caught and arrested. Her beloved father died 10 days after he was imprisoned.
Corrie and her sister, Betsie, ended up in a Nazi prison camp called Ravensbruck. 80,000 people died in that camp over a period of seven years. Many were shot, given a lethal injection, or gassed. Sick prisoners had to strip in front of the Nazis. Corrie watched her sister Betsy grow ill, suffer, and die.
After the war, Corrie began to speak about the forgiveness of Christ. In 1947, she spoke at a church in Munich. That’s where she saw the man. The man had been a guard, one of the most cruel guards.
He was in front of her with an outstretched hand. “What a fine message. How good it is to know that, as you say, all our sins are forgiven.” She fumbled in her pocketbook. She didn’t want to take his hand. He obviously did not remember her. But she remembered him.
She was face-to-face with a man who not only hurt her, but her sister. He said, “I have become a Christian. I know that God has forgiven me.” And his hand came out again.
* * *
Kim’s lines:
I stood there - I whose sins had again and again needed to be forgiven. And I could not forgive. My sister, Betsie, had died in that place. Could this guard erase her slow terrible death simply for the asking?
It couldn’t have been many seconds that he stood there - hand held out. But to me it seemed hours as I wrestled with the most difficult thing I ever had to do.
For I had to do it - I knew that. If you do not forgive others their trespasses, Jesus says, neither will your Father in Heaven forgive your trespasses.
I knew it not only as a commandment of God, but as a daily experience. Since the end of the war I had had a home in Holland for victims of Nazi brutality. Those who were able to forgive their former enemies were able also to return to the outside world and rebuild their lives, no matter what the physical scars. Those who nursed their bitterness remained invalids.
It was as simple and horrible as that.
And still I stood there with coldness clutching my heart. But forgiveness is not an emotion - I knew that too. Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart. So, I prayed silently, “Jesus, help me! I can lift my hand. I can do that much. You must supply the feeling.”
So woodenly, mechanically, I placed my hand into the one stretched out to me. And as I did, an incredible thing took place.
The current started in my shoulder, raced down my arm and sprang into our joined hands. And then this healing warmth seemed to flood my whole being, bringing tears to my eyes.
“I forgive you, brother, with all my heart.”
For a long moment we grasped each other’s hands - the former guard and the former prisoner. I had never known God’s love so intensely as I did then. But even so, I realized it was not my love – not my forgiveness. I had tried and I did not have the power. It was the power of the Holy Spirit as recorded in Romans 5:5: The love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit. Forgiveness. It sets us free.
* * *
A truth to take home: Forgiving others sets me free.
A verse to remember: Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32, ESV)
Questions to answer: Who do I need to forgive for good? When will I do it?
* * *
Because I have been forgiven of such a great debt by Christ, by faith I now forgive -____________________ unconditionally in Christ. No matter how he/she sinned against me, it doesn’t compare with how I sinned against God. I release him/her from the hurts. He/she is no longer accountable to me for them. I do not have the power to forgive this way. So, I trust Jesus to forgive through me. I put ____________________ in the hands of God – the One who will handle things righteously. Jesus has set me free.
Think about these verses. Think about what Jesus said on the cross: Father forgive them. Think about the person who has hurt you. And ask Jesus for the power to forgive. Take a step of faith.
You must forgive – decide that someone who has wronged you doesn’t have to pay. That will set you free.
