There’s a little girl who is dreaming of her wedding day. She knows what the church is going to look like. She knows what kind of dress she will wear. She can even see the color of her fiancé’s eyes. But something is interfering with her dreams. Her mom and dad are arguing a lot lately. And she’s heard the word “divorce” from their lips. She’s thinking: “Maybe it’s not possible to live happily ever after after all.”
There are young adults here who are considering going into the ministry. Something happened in Positive Impact or 707 that got their attention. They dream about how their passion for God is going to spill over and impact other lives. But now they are having second thoughts. They see how petty differences are handled poorly. They see how leaders have to spend time refereeing boxing matches between Christian brothers and sisters and how these leaders have little time to build the kingdom and storm the gates of hell. These young adults wonder if it’s worth it. And that call they once felt to go into the ministry? They don’t hear it anymore.
We all know stories like these. Bad relationships are hindering the effectiveness of our service to Jesus. Relationships that unravel have a negative impact that goes on and on.
This hits close to home because we all know our own pain – relationships that aren’t working the way we hoped they would. Think about some relationship in your life that isn’t quite right. Could it be that your relationship struggle is having a negative ripple effect that goes far beyond your own little world? Probably so.
This is the third weekend of our series. We spent time in week one thinking about how essential brokenness is for an Extreme Makeover. God says, “This is the one I will pick for a Makeover: he who is humble, contrite in heart, and who trembles at My word.” Are you broken? Last week, we discussed three simple prayers we can pray to live overflowing lives that will refresh others: Father, search me. Jesus, wash me. Spirit, fill me.” Are you praying consistently?
Some of you are taking this seriously. And I’m so grateful. Here’s an email I received this week:
In December 2004 I read a book that prompted me to pray for revival in 2005. When I started to pray, I most definitely didn’t understand what revival really meant. I thought it would be a quick fix from the Lord via the Holy Spirit. I certainly didn’t realize the first steps would be confession and repentance and a desire for obedience. This year I’ve been reading about great historical revivals and have come to appreciate and desire True Revival in my own heart and those around us.
Today, relationship renewal – relationship revival – a makeover for your relationships.
Inside our wedding rings are some simple engravings:
MAC to RAD – that’s pretty simple to figure out. Maryanne Catrino to Richard Alan Duncan.
And then there’s 10 – 2 – 76. Again, that’s pretty simple. On October 2 this year, we will have been married 29 years. We were married October 2, 1976.
But there’s more: 1 JN 1:7. I’m sure most of you can figure that out, too. It’s a reference to a verse in the Bible. I John 1:7.
There have been times when things aren’t working so well in our relationship that I have just looked down at my ring and realized that I messed up in a big way. And I’m reminded that if I will apply the truths of this verse, we will be well on our way to a renewal.
Here’s the verse:
If we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.
I John 1:7 (ESV)
To renew my relationships, I need…
1. … an intense awareness of others.
The goal is fellowship.
If we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another…
The norm is fellowship. What is it?
Most of what we call fellowship is really fake. “Hi. How are you?” “Fine. How are you?” “Great.” Then we go home and feel good about our fellowship.
Fellowship – koinonia - community, participation, sharing. Is that what you really have with the people around you? You say, “I don’t know. How can I tell for sure?”
A couple of ideas: Your antennas are up. You are asking God for an intense awarness of others. You sense that something is wrong. So, you ask, “Are we OK? Are we really OK?” Even if you sense that nothing is wrong you can still ask, “What are one or two things you think I could do to improve our relationship?”
This takes courage. And honesty. You take that information back to Jesus. You say, “Here’s what I’m hearing. Can You shed Your light on this for me?”
What if our church – what if your community group or home – was filled with people who asked those kinds of questions of each other?
One of the dangers of a too-fast lifestyle is that we don’t take time for evaluating the effectiveness of our fellowship. I have a friend who started and stopped his radio program with a question: “How well are you loving today?”
Come, let us walk in the light of the Lord.
Isaiah 2:5b (ESV)
It’s an “us” thing. We are meant for community.
An intense awareness of others.
2. … a radical exposure to light.
Imagine trying to complete an extreme makeover in the dark. God says, “Come into My presence.” Why? In His presence there is light.
If we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another,
What does it mean to live in His light? It’s referring to the classic ways we live in the presence of Jesus:
• Reading the Bible
• Praying
• Meditating
• Being a part of a community group
• Worship
We all have these hiding places – these dark corners where we like to hide from the light of Christ. For some of us it’s work. For others, it’s shopping or recreation or entertainment. For some, it’s ministry. The busy-ness and the noise of life in the 21st Century keep us in the dark. And we like it there. The Bible says that we love darkness rather than light because our deeds are evil.
Eliminate all the places you like to go hide – all those places you go to be in the dark. And we need to learn to pray with passion:
Lift up the light of Your face upon us, O Lord!
Psalm 4:6b (ESV)
Why should I pray like this? Three facts about light ought to make us long for it.
Light reveals
Light reveals. With the right light, you can see the flaws in a diamond. You can see cracks in pottery. Light reveals, while darkness conceals. We need the light of Jesus to see the flaws in our lives.
When He lived on this earth, Jesus exposed sin. Jesus could touch sinners, but sin never touched Him. He was totally sinless. When the Bible calls Jesus the “light of the world,” it’s a reminder of the sinless, stainless purity of the Son of God.
This is important because when I live in the presence of Jesus, He shows up the dirt in my life. And that’s good because I can confess it and become clean. And as I stay connected with Him, my life becomes increasingly pure because He is pure.
Though… I dwell in darkness, the LORD is a light for me.
Micah 7:8 (NASB)
(Window illustration)
Light reveals.
Light directs
Sometimes, we don’t know what to do in our relationships. We don’t know how to fix things. We don’t know what to say to move toward the other person. That’s when we need light from God.
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.
Psalm 119:105 (ESV)
God’s light will tell us what we need to do next to renew the relationship. It will tell us where to walk – which direction to go.
Light directs.
Light renews
Light and life go together. You can’t have life without light. When God wanted to bring life out of chaos in creation, He said, “Let there be light.” When the light appeared, life began.
There’s no life without light in the physical world. The same is true in the spiritual world. The life and the light went out of the human race when Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden. But when we come to Christ, He turns on the light, and life begins again.
In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men.
John 1:4 (NASB)
If there’s a deadness in your relationships, then you need light. You need Jesus. Staying away from Him is a death sentence for your relational life.
Light renews.
Look at the screen. Let me illustrate just how important it is to be in the light.
When both people are in the light…
When both people are not in the light…
It’s like two people who don’t even claim to know Christ…
When both people are not in the light…
What about when two people are in relationship and one does not know Christ and the other does?
This is why we need to stay in the light!
To renew my relationships, I need a radical exposure to light. I pray. I read the Bible. I join a community group. I make sure I’m in the light of Jesus! And, to renew my relationships, I need…
3. … a thorough cleansing from sin.
One problems with some of us is that we don’t want an extreme makeover. All we want is for Jesus to tweak us a little bit here and there. We want mini-makeovers. Just clean one pane of glass, please! God says, “A little cleansing isn’t enough.”
If we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.
“All” means “all” that’s all “all” means. The cleansing needs to be painstaking, comprehensive, exhaustive. Why? I need a clean slate… and so do you!
Cleanses refers to a “constant cleansing.” Why do I need “constant cleansing?” It’s because I do constant sinning. Fortunately, there’s a bar of soap.
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
I John 1:9
I want God to clean up her side, his side. Sometimes, his side is already clean. It’s me who needs the cleansing. Relationships work best when both sides are clean.
A thorough cleansing from sin.
* * *
A truth to take home: Jesus will renew our relationships… as long as we live in His light.
A verse to remember: You have delivered my soul from death, yes, my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of life.
Psalm 56:13 (ESV)
A question to answer: How will I choose to live in the light more and more this week?
* * *
Those young adults here who are considering going into the ministry? They are still watching us. Will we live in the light and enjoy true unbroken fellowship?
That little girl who’s dreaming of her wedding day? She grew up. She got married. Her husband and her children are standing by her side as she takes a picture of her mom and dad on Christmas morning. After the shot, she leans over and whispers into her mom’s ear, “Thanks. You learned to live in Jesus’ light and so did dad. You renewed your relationship and gave me hope. Look at my family gathered around that tree. We’re together today because you gave me hope. Thanks, mom.”
