Church Family Matters
1 Timothy 3:15, 5:1-8
Dr. Roger W. Thomas, Preaching Minister
First Christian Church, Vandalia, MO
Introduction: I have some good news and some bad news today. Which do you want first?
Did you hear about the guy who was called into his doctor’s office? The doctor sat him and down and said, “I have some good news and bad news. Which do you want first?” “Give me the good news first.” “Ok,” the doctor said, “Your tests are back and you have three days to live.” “That’s the good news?” the guy exclaimed. “For heaven’s sake, what’s the bad news?” “My receptionist has been trying to get hold of you for two days!”
Are you ready for a really bad joke? Here’s the bad news. A guy falls out of an airplane at a thousand feet in the air. The good news is he had a parachute on. The bad news is the parachute didn’t open. The good news is there was a huge haystack on the ground right where he was heading. The bad news is there was a pitchfork lying in the middle of the haystack, tines up. The good news is—he missed the haystack.
Today we close our annual Season of the Family. We have explored a lot of different Bible teachings on family matters. Behind many of those passages rests another idea. Family matters don’t end at our front door. They extend all the way to the church door.
Since our good news/bad news vote was too close to call, I will have to decide. Let’s start with the good news: the church is like a family.
The Church is Family—That’s Good News! That’s the theme of our text. Did you catch the wording of 1 Timothy 3:15? “I am writing … so that you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God’s household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth.” That word “household” is the term for family. It is the same word used twice a couple paragraphs earlier. Note 1 Timothy 3:4-5, “[An overseer] must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. 5(If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?)” The same word is used in a similar way in the second passage I read. Consider 1 Timothy 5:4, “[Children of widows] should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family.” Again 1 Timothy 5:8, it says, “8If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” Two lessons are obvious. First, family matters. Second, the church is also a family!
Our text is not the only place where the Bible makes this claim. Ephesians 2:19-20 reads, “Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God’s people and members of God’s household…” That’s our word again. Hebrews 2:11 contains an amazing statement. The passage is talking about the Son of God identifying with humanity and becoming a man to die on the cross for us. “Both the one who makes men holy and those who are made holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers.” We are family on earth and in heaven. That’s good news.
We are family because we have the same Heavenly Father. That’s the only way into this family. Now there is a general sense that all humans are children of God. Occasionally the Bible talks like that (cf. Acts 17:29). But most of the time the Bible’s family language is more restrictive. For example, Jesus gets in the face of some of his self-righteous religious adversaries by telling them that they are “children of the devil, not children of God.” If they were children of God, he says, they would love and obey God rather than loving themselves and obeying their own man-made traditions (John 8:31-47). In another place, Jesus defined his brothers and sisters as those who obey and follow him (Luke 12:46-50).
Let me make this crystal clear. Not everyone is a part of God’s family. I hope all of you are. If you are, it is not because you are black or white or rich or poor. It is not about being religious or trying to be nice to everyone. The family of God is not defined by the family you born in, the rituals you observe, or the place you go on Sunday morning. A person becomes a part of the family by believing and obeying the Gospel of salvation through Christ alone. Anyone can become part of the family, no matter who you are, where you have been, or what you have done. Galatians 3:27-28 puts it this way, “For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. 28There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” That is good news.
The church is family. We have the same father. We are brothers and sisters. We also have a family resemblance. Most kids look like their parents in some ways. There are exceptions. Take my family for example. I have two brothers. None of us look alike. My middle brother looks a lot like my mother. I look a lot like my dad’s brothers. My youngest brother looks like a mixture. The same is true of our three children. My daughter looks like Rose. Our youngest son looks like me. Our oldest son resembles a mix of both sides.
At first blush, you might not think that the church family has much resemblance. Externally that’s true. We come from different races and ethnic backgrounds. Some are tall; others small. Some have dark hair. Some of us have almost no hair. Our personalities differ as well. Some are outgoing; others more reserved. Some bubble over with energy; others are more laid back. We are individuals. We are different.
There is a family resemblance. Morally, spiritually, even in our behavior and reactions to things around us, there is or at least ought to be a resemblance. That’s what the Bible is driving at when it says that God’s plan is that we “be conformed to the likeness of his Son” (Rom 8:29) or “your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus” (Phil 2:5). We resemble one another because the same Spirit is trying to produce the same inner qualities in our lives—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Gal 5:26). We are family. That’s good news. We are not all alike. But our family resemblance overshadows our differences.
We are family. That’s good news. We are not alone. We have a big family that cares about us. Our brothers and sisters are there to support and encourage us. When we are down, they lift us up. When they are discouraged, we cheer them up. When they hurt, we hurt. When they are honored, we share the joy. The family includes older folk from which the rest of learn. The younger folk make us laugh, encourage us, and remind us that the family will live on even when we won’t. That’s good to know.
Our second text talks about how the church family takes care of those in need. Widows in need are first the responsibility of the biological family, it says. When they don’t or can’t care for those in need, the church family does what it can. Times have changed a lot in two thousand years, but the principle still stands. The church is a family that takes care of its own.
Bill and Gloria Gaither’s song that we occasionally sing says it well, “I’m so glad I’m a part of the Family of God, . . .Joint heirs with Jesus as we travel this sod,…. You will notice we say "brother and sister" ’round here, It’s because we’re a family and these are so near; When one has a heartache, we all share the tears, And rejoice in each victory in this family so dear. From the door of an orphanage to the house of the King, No longer an outcast, a new song I sing; From rags unto riches, from the weak to the strong, I’m not worthy to be here, but PRAISE GOD! I belong! I’m so glad I’m a part of the Family of God!” (Family of God, 1970).
We are family. We are all headed for a great family reunion someday. We are going to spend eternity loving the father and getting better acquainted with one another. We will meet relatives we never knew we had. It will be a great time when the family meets at the Father’s house.
The church is like a family. That’s the good news. Now the bad news—the church is like a family. The truth is families don’t always get along. Someone observed, “Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.” Comedian George Burns said, “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family—that lives in another city.”
One day Linus and Lucy, the brother and sister of Peanuts cartoon fame, were quietly walking down the sidewalk talking. This in itself was a miracle. You may remember that Linus said, “Big sisters are the crabgrass in the lawn of life.” Linus says to Lucy, “Charlie Brown says that brothers and sisters can learn to get along.” He pauses to make sure she is listening. “He says that they can get along the same way mature adults get along.” Again he pauses to let the words of wisdom sink in. “Charlie says that adults can get along the same way that nations get along.” This time the pause is a little longer. He begins to think about what he is saying. Finally Linus scratches his head and concludes, “At this point the analogy breaks down.”
All families have their moments, even preachers’ families. Of course, ours was the exception. When our three were younger, they always got along like perfect little angels. They got it from their father’s side, I am sure! At least that’s the way I remember it ever since Rose shut the garage door on my head! Our youngest son was all of the time telling his big sister she was the best big sister in the whole world. Of course, it was always when she was sitting on his chest, threatening to pull his hair out if he didn’t say it! I do have these vague memories of somebody else’s kids saying, “He won’t leave me alone. Make him scoot over. He’s touching me again. He ate all my candy. She won’t share. She gave me a dirty look. He shot me with the BB gun. She said she was going to stab me with a butcher knife. She’s got a knife.”
Someone put it this way, "Remember Winston Churchill’s immortal words at the beginning of WWII?—‘We shall fight on the beaches. We shall fight on the landing grounds. We shall fight in the fields and in the streets. We shall fight in the hills!’ That sounds like our family vacation!"
Families don’t always get along. Brothers and sisters quarrel. Here’s the real shocker. Church families don’t always get along either. The good news is the church is like a family. The bad news is the church is like a family. One wise man advised, “If you are looking for a perfect church and think you’ve found it, for heaven’s sake, don’t join it. You will mess it up for sure.”
1 Timothy 5 contains the Apostle’s application of “how you ought to conduct yourself in the household of God.” The Bible writers don’t say things like that unless it needed to be said. They knew human nature. They also knew the real life problems that were taking place in the churches they were writing to. Why does 1 Timothy 5 tell younger believers to respect and honor older brothers and sisters? Because, contrary to popular opinion, the generation gap wasn’t invented in the 1960’s. It calls for purity because temptation is not a modern event. 1 Timothy 5 calls for tenderness, mercy, and responsibility because those are lessons every family has to learn over and over again. Brothers and sisters, men and women, old and young have always struggled with rivalry, misunderstandings, and ill spoken words. The New Testament is filled with warnings and advice about handling conflict, controlling your temper, restraining from gossip, and taming the tongue. All of it was addressed to the church family. All of that was needed because the good news is the church is like a family. And the bad news is the church is like a family.
Conclusion: There’s good news and bad news. It’s both the same. The church is like a family. But it is no ordinary family. This is the household of God. That means there’s a lot at stake. We have a special responsibility. Did you catch the reasoning in 1 Timothy 5? Note verse 7 “Give the people these instructions, too, so that no one may be open to blame.” In verse 14, it warns against giving “the enemy an opportunity for slander.” The Father’s reputation is on the line. It is not about us. It is about him.
But because this is no ordinary family, we also have some extra assets. The Father knows best in this family. His advice always works—when followed. This is also a family of grace and forgiveness. We can’t get to be a part of the family without knowing that. That’s why the Bible says, “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God” (Eph 5:1).
Aren’t you glad, we’re a part of the family, the family of God!
***Dr. Roger W. Thomas is the preaching minister at First Christian Church, 205 W. Park St., Vandalia, MO 63382 and an adjunct professor of Bible and Preaching at Central Christian College of the Bible, 911 E. Urbandale, Moberly, MO. He is a graduate of Lincoln Christian College (BA) and Lincoln Christian Seminary (MA, MDiv), and Northern Baptist Theological Seminary (DMin).
