Just Like A Dad
1 Thessalonians 2:7-12, 19
Dr. Roger W. Thomas, Preaching Minister
First Christian Church, Vandalia, MO
Introduction: Today we honor our dads and by extension all of the men who play such important roles in the lives of our church and families. Being a dad has its challenges. As one cynic noted, children go through four stages. First they call you DaDa. Then they call you Daddy. As they mature they call you Dad. Finally they call you collect.
Our text today is a continuation of the one we read a few weeks ago when we launched this year’s Season of the Family. The passage uses both the metaphor of mother and father to illustrate the Apostle Paul’s attitude toward the young Christians he had helped introduce to Christ a few months before. Like a mother, the missionary had demonstrated gentle strength, genuine affection, and generous sacrifice. Then he turns the word-picture ever so slightly. He was also like a father to them, he says. Our text is really about Christian leadership. But in describing that, it also outlines a godly father’s job description. Note three qualities that we appreciate in the men and fathers in this church:
First, our men and dads set an example. Most men are doers. They prefer action. They would rather work than talk about it. Psychologists point to this as one of the real differences between men and women. Most of you know from magazine articles or television reports that males and females differ in more ways than the obvious. Scientists say it has to do with brain chemistry, hormones, and the way the right and left halves of our brains function. All kinds of degrees of difference exist. But generally speaking, most men are less verbal than most women. Most women also tune into feelings and emotions much better than most men. Women pick up on things that go right over most men’s heads. The difference is real.
Both moms and dads, men and women, need to set an example for their young. But they do it in different ways. Dads set examples of hard work, courage, and initiative. From their dads, boys learn how to handle adversity, confront obstacles, and keep on going even when it’s hard. Boys and girls need to see that from both parents, especially dads.
Dads provide an important religious example as well. Kids will often model their moms’ attitudes toward church and the things of faith. But more often than not, boys follow their dad’s behavior. Note how Paul describes his example in our text. Verse 10, “You are witnesses, and so is God, of how holy, righteous and blameless we were among you who believed.” Those three words—holy, righteous, and blameless describe things every kid needs to see in the men around them. The word for holy describes one’s duty toward God. It refers to commitment and spiritual discipline. Righteousness stresses a person’s relationship with other people. It refers to honesty, fairness, and integrity. Blameless doesn’t mean perfect or sinless. It describes a man whose conduct can stand the scrutiny of examination. His isn’t just a surface religion. Kids need to see that such men exist. Dads (and other men in the church) provide that example.
Dads provide an example of consistent conduct. They also provide words of encouragement. This is where the text zeroes in on the father idea. Note verses 11 and 12, “We dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.” Did you catch the three talk-terms—encouraging, comforting, and urging? Because most men tend toward quiet strength, their words become doubly important to their young.
All three of these terms are similar. But each carries a slightly different emphasis. The word translated as encouragement literally means to stand or come along side. The ancients used the term for everything from an army that came to the rescue of an embattled village to a friend who lifts the spirits of a downcast neighbor. Every child needs encouragement. They need to know their dads stand with them, that they believe in them, that they are there for them. Most moms do that more naturally than most dads. Guys have to try harder.
Author Dan Benson, in his book The Total Man observed that a lot of dads tend to say ten negative words to their children for every positive one. Benson writes, “Most fathers are really good at words like “Don’t,” “You can’t,” “Stop that,” or “No.” But they’re not nearly as good at the positive words.” Benson suggests that we could change the whole personality of our relationship with our children if we just learned to speak positively. Maybe that’s why the New Testament says, “Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged” (Col 3:21).
The NIV translates our second talk-term as “comforting.” This refers to soothing words. It is more directed at the feelings or emotions. It carries the idea of support for our young in the face of defeat, hard times, and failure. We can’t protect our young from failure and adversity. We shouldn’t want to. But we can assure them that we aren’t giving up on them nor should they give up on themselves. They need to hear that they are loved no matter how well they do.
A father encourages, comforts, and urges. The third word is the strongest. Some translations render it “charges or implores.” That’s probably too negative for what it means. It certainly carries the notion of urgency and seriousness. I picture a coach on the sidelines calling out instructions to his team at a critical point in the game. Sometimes it might be criticism. There is a place for that. A good coach is careful with criticism. He knows that too much criticism doesn’t motivate. It discourages. A good coach shouts encouragement from the sidelines. “Keep pushing.” “Don’t quit now.” “Give it your all.” His words are never passive. They are always passionate. That’s what kids need from the men in their lives. They need men who will implore them to keep living “lives worthy of God” just as energetically as they as they urge them to score a touchdown or pass a test.
Dads provide an example. They offer needed encouragement. Our text suggests a third quality dads and men contribute to their young. They enjoy their kids. Note how verse nineteen ends this entire discussion, “For what is our hope, our joy, or the crown in which we will glory in the presence of our Lord Jesus when he comes? Is it not you? Indeed, you are our glory and joy.” Dads and the other men who help raise godly boys and girls around this church find their greatest joy and success in seeing the young grow in faith, hope, and love. That’s what it’s all about. Most of our men would do anything, pay any price, bear any burden, or make any sacrifice to see that happen. Kids, you are “our glory and joy.” Right, men?
Paul Harvey provides the classic definition of the father most of us strive to be. “A father is a thing that is forced to endure childbirth without an anesthetic. A father is a thing that growls when it feels good--and laughs very loud when it’s scared half to death. A father never feels entirely worthy of the worship in a child’s eyes. He’s never quite the hero his daughter thinks, never quite the man his son believes him to be--and this worries him, sometimes. So he works too hard to try and smooth the rough places in the road for those of his own who will follow him. A father is a thing that gets very angry when the first school grades aren’t as good as he thinks they should be. He scolds his son though he knows it’s the teacher’s fault. Fathers are what give daughters away to other men who aren’t nearly good enough so they can have grandchildren who are smarter than anybody’s. Fathers make bets with insurance companies about who’ll live the longest. Though they know the odds, they keep right on betting. And one day they lose. {I don’t understand everything I know about the here after,}….But I’ve an idea that after a good rest, … a father won’t be happy unless there’s work to do. He won’t just sit on a cloud and wait for the girl he’s loved and the children she bore. He’ll be busy there, too, repairing the stairs, oiling the gates, improving the streets, smoothing the way.” That’s just like a dad!
Conclusion: Dads and men provide an example, encouragement, and enjoyment for their kids. What’s that look like? If a picture is worth a thousand words, I have a example you will never forget.
You have perhaps heard Rick Hoyt’s story. Rick and his father Dick have appeared on countless television news, sports, and interview shows through the years. At first blush, you are almost tempted to doubt the story. But it is true.
(PowerPoint slide of Team Hoyt)
Little Ricky Hoyt was born with the umbilical cord wrapped his neck. His brain was starved for oxygen. Because of the brain damage, the doctors advised his family to put him in an institution. His mom and dad refused. Instead they took him home. They did everything they could to give Rick a normal life. Rick couldn’t walk or talk but he was otherwise bright eyed and fully aware. Eventually, his parents found Rick a computer that enabled him to communicate. He would point to letters on a screen with eyes. The computer would sound the words.
When Rick was fifteen, he used the computer to ask his dad to push him in a benefit 10K run to raise money for a local athlete who had been paralyzed in an accident. Dick, 37 at the time, wasn’t much of a runner. But he decided to do it for his boy. Everybody thought he would probably go a few blocks and turn around and come back. But Dick trained for a few weeks. He ran the race pushing Rick’s fifty pound wheelchair the full 6.2 miles. He said Rick’s smile kept him going.
Rick told his dad that this was the best day of his life. He said, “That’s the first time I never felt like I was handicapped.” That day started a father-son adventure the like of which legends are made.
Before Dick hung up his running shoes a couple of years ago (well into his sixties), the duo had run over fifty marathons, ran across the US from coast to coast, covering over 3700 miles in forty-five days, and completed 121 triathlons. Father and son, or Team Hoyt as they like to be called, competed in the famous Hawaiian Iron Man competition five times—swimming 2.4 miles, bicycling 112 miles, and then running a marathon of 26.2 miles. Hard to believe? Watch this!
(Team Hoyt Video to Redeemer by Nicole C. Mullen—approximately four minutes).
Epilogue: We may not have many Iron Men among us, but I know that there’s not a father here who wouldn’t do anything within his power to help his son (or daughter) become everything they can be. That’s just like a dad!
But you know—there’s another truth we dare not forget. The Team Hoyt Story can become a parable. When we think of it that way, we are tempted to see ourselves as the loving father sacrificing to bring joy to his son. That’s a good lesson. Most parents feel that way toward their young.
But I think there’s a bigger lesson. We are not the father. We are the child in the chair. The Bible makes it clear. Jesus taught us to view the Almighty God as our Heavenly Father. The God who made you is the Father loves you.
Your Father in Heaven believes in you. He cares for you far more than you could ever imagine. He would do anything for you. In fact, he already has.
He encourages, comforts, and urges you.
He watches over you, protects you, and wants you to be with him forever. Talk about example, encouragement, and enjoyment. It’s all there.
When it comes to sacrifice, he defines it. Your Heavenly Father did it all for you!
***Dr. Roger W. Thomas is the preaching minister at First Christian Church, 205 W. Park St., Vandalia, MO 63382 and an adjunct professor of Bible and Preaching at Central Christian College of the Bible, 911 E. Urbandale, Moberly, MO. He is a graduate of Lincoln Christian College (BA) and Lincoln Christian Seminary (MA, MDiv), and Northern Baptist Theological Seminary (DMin).
