AIMING YOUR KIDS
Psalm 127:1-5
INTRODUCTION:
A. Have you ever considered shooting your kids? Maybe I should rephrase that! Have you ever considered that you as a parent have the responsibility to shoot your kids in the direction they should go–similar to a hunter shooting an arrow in the direction it should go?
Proverbs 22:6 (NIV) says, “ Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” Solomon expresses that same sentiment in Psalm 127–the passage of Scripture that we are going to study this morning.
As we are studying it I want you to remember just 3 words
Gifts
Go
God
That is the whole sermon in a nutshell.
READ: Psalm 127:1-5
B. I know that we’ve got some bow hunters in the congregation. I’ve never hunted with a bow and arrow, but some people find it to be a greater challenge than hunting with a shotgun. How many of you have actually hunted with a bow and arrow? How many of you have at least done some target practice? Shot into a bale of straw or a deer manakin or something like that? How many of you could recognize a bow and arrow if you saw one? (Good! That’s just about everybody)
There are four necessary ingredients to a successful bow hunt:
First of all there is the hunter, or the warrior
The person is the brains behind the hunt
Secondly, there is a bow, the power behind the hunt
Provides direction
Third, you have the arrows
They follow the directions of the hunter
Finally, there is a quiver to carry the arrows
At first the quiver may seem unimportant
A place of safety for the arrows
Keeps them from getting banged up and the hunter knows exactly where they will be when he needs them
Here’s the thing you need to remember–as long as the arrows are in the quiver, they are not fulfilling their purpose
With that in mind let’s re-read verses 3-5 in this Psalm written by Solomon
I> GIFTS
A. VS 3 - sons are a heritage, children a reward
1. They are like arrows in the hands of a warrior
2. In those days archers would try to find the straightest pieces of wood and put fletching on them so they would fly straight and true
a. Today, manufacturers go to great lengths making sure the arrows will fly in the intended direction
3. Arrows can be quite different from one another
a. They come in different lengths and sizes
b. Some have plastic vanes, others have actual feathers
c. They can have different tips
Some are designed for practice, some for competition, some for hunting
Some for hunting fish, some for birds, and some for large game such as deer.
B. It may be that Solomon really did know what he was talking about when he compared our children with arrows–because they are all very different
ILL> That’s one of the things we have always noticed with our own kids. When April and Alan were small we realized that they were like night and day. Actually, we realized this even before they were born.
When Kay was pregnant with April her stomach was more around. With Alan she it looked like she was carrying a basketball.
With April, Kay experienced very little morning sickness. With Alan Kay had morning sickness during the entire pregnancy.
April was a night owl while Alan went to sleep early
1. What really amazed us was that when Ashlee came along that she was completely different from the other two
a. Three children raised in the same household, but they are quite different from each other.
b. They are all unique
they have different interests and abilities
They have different personalities
c. Yet they are similar in several ways, as well
2. However, they are all God’s gifts to us
a. They each bring joy to our lives in differing ways
b. But, still, each of our children are special–just as your children are special to you.
C. But here is the sad part–many kids grow up today without a dad in their lives
ILL> Someone has said that fathers are like the Abominable Snowman–footprints everywhere, yet they’re hard to find.
Some 40% of children in America grow up without a dad in the home. For African-American children, that figure jumps up to 63%. And, for those living in our inner cities, as many as 7 out of every 10 children grow up without a dad.
1. Satan’s strategy has always been to remove the men
a. Unfortunately, there are a lot of men today that don’t want to be responsible for their actions
b. They want to have their fun, but they want it without strings
2. Satan has learned that if he can remove the men from their homes, from their position in the family, remove them from their place of influence over the kids then he can bring great harm to the family
a. Not only that, but those that encourage same-sex marriage are further destroying what God intended
Many young people are not going to have a good idea of what the man’s role in the family is–what the woman’s role in the family is
b. Satan learned a long time ago that if he can diminish the role of the man in the home, then he has a better chance of gaining control of the young lives raised in that home
c. Just think about it–Pharaoh understood that if he could kill all the male babies when they were born, then he could control an entire nation of people
d. Herod believed that if he could just destroy the male children 2 years old and under that that would secure his position of power
3. Satan has always tried to remove the men–to lessen their impact and influence
D. Ultimately, of course, our children are responsible for themselves before God and determine the flight they eventually take
1. However, we need to understand that as dads (and moms) we need to do all that we can to guide our kids in God’s ways and to do that to the best of our ability
2. So, our children are gifts that need to be guided–set in the right direction
a. But our purpose in raising our kids is to let them go
II> GO
A. Part of our responsibility as parents is not just to guide them, but to let them go
ILL> I was watching a show on the Discovery Channel one day about some birds that build their nests in the rocky cliffs so predators cannot get to the eggs.
However, as soon as they are hatched they become a potential meal for other feathered creatures looking about. So even before the hatchlings are able to fly the parents kick the chicks out of the nest. The documentary showed the birds tumbling down the cliffs, banging off the rocks. Amazingly most of them were able to get right up on their feet and follow mom and dad to a safe location.
1. From the time our kids are born, we understand that there will be a time when our kids will need to be kicked out of the nest
a. Now, I realize that there are some special situations where this is not best for either the parents, the child, or both
b. However, in most situations, are responsibility is to let go
2. This can be one of the most difficult tasks for parents–letting go
a. Letting them choose their own direction–making their own mistakes
ILL> Carol Kuykendall has written: "Letting go is a God-given responsibility as important as love in the parent-child relationship. Without it, without release, children cannot grow. With it, they cannot gain the confidence and independence to seek and reach their potential in life. ‘Give your children roots and wings,’ the old saying goes. Love them and protect them, nurture them with a strong sense of God and family and then–let them go.’"
3. Why is it so hard to let go?
a. Why is it so difficult to pull back on the bow and just let it fly?
b. I think the reason is that it contradicts everything we are as parents
c. For years we were caring for them, protecting them,
d. We’ve prayed for them, shielded them, agonized over them and we don’t want to give up our parental control
e. "Letting go" diminishes our role–and that just doesn’t feel good
4. There was a turning point in the ministry of John the Baptist when he spoke of Jesus and said, "He must increase, I must decrease."
a. In essence that is the role of the parent
b. As our kids get older their personal responsibility to the Lord must increase
c. Mom and Dad’s role must decrease
d. When we are able to let go it gives our kids a sense of accomplishment and completeness
B. This "letting go" isn’t something that happens all at once
1. It’s a lifelong process
a. It’s like learning to shoot a bow and arrow
b. You go out and practice releasing the arrow over and over until you feel like you’ve mastered it enough to go out and do some serious hunting
2. Our lifetimes are spent learning to release our children
a. Parents start releasing their children the moment from birth as there is that small matter of cutting the umbilical cord
Two lives that have shared 9 months together of nurturing are cut apart
b. Then there is that first time you leave you child with a baby-sitter
ILL> I can remember leaving April once at a house–she must have been about 3 years of age. We called back a couple of times (now you have to remember that this was before the age of cell phones). They said that April was crying, but was all right if they would read to her.
When we returned about 8 hours later they said that she had cried the whole time unless they were reading books. I guess she didn’t appreciate this "letting go" experience too much.
c. Then there is that first day of school
I know of few mothers that handled that well
I don’t know why it’s such a big moment–maybe because it is a hint of what will take place later in their lives
d. Teaching them to ride a bicycle
Usually involves a few crashes
ILL> Nancy McConnell once said, "Being a mother is a lot like teaching a child to ride a bicycle. You have to know when to hold on and when to let go. If you lack this courage to let go, you’re going to get very tired or running along beside."
e. Your child’s first overnight stay at camp?
f. You child’s first real date
g. When they get their driver’s license and go out for that first drive
3. As we release them we prepare them for marriage–for a time when they will be completely responsible for the decisions they make
a. That includes being responsible
for their own living place
their own bills
their own insurance
their own relationships
they own walk with God
ILL> Bill Cosby shared this same sentiment at a commencement address at the University of South Carolina a few years ago:
"All across this great nation people are graduating and hearing they are going forth. My concern is whether they know where forth is...Forth is not back home. We love you and we are proud of you, and we are not tired of you...but we could get tired of you. Forth could be next door to us, but you pay the rent."
III> GOD
A. VS 1
1. So, we take these gifts of God, we pull back on the bowstring, but where are we aiming them?
a. What’s the target?
ILL> Normally, you don’t just pull the string back on the bow and randomly shoot up into the air. (Although, Jon has a few stories about doing things like that.)
2. Time doesn’t allow for the kind of thinking that says, "I shot an arrow in the air; it fell to earth I know not where."
a. Where are you aiming your kids?
b. As they grow you are teaching them what is the most important things in life by the things that you do?
By the choices you make
By the things you are committed and dedicated to
c. Our goal should be to release them to a personal responsibility to God
3. Maybe one of the toughest things for a parent is releasing enough to let them make their own mistakes
ILL> It’s like the father of the prodigal son in Luke 15 watching his son walk out the door to live on his own. It’s something he’s got to do. He’s got to let his son make his own mistakes. And as much as he wants to tell his son how to live, he grants him complete freedom. Because the arrow is flying on its own now. That means there will be mistakes made from time to time. And it also means there will be consequences for those mistakes.
a. It’s good to have roots, but our kids also need wings
B. At some point will come that final release
ILL> I read about the wedding of a fellow named John. At the rehearsal dinner, John’s mother was seated at the front table with John, his bride, and the brides’ parents. At one point at the dinner, she stood up and pulled out a beautifully wrapped box. She unwrapped it and held up one of her favorite old aprons. Holding the apron high for everyone to see, he reached into her purse and brought out a big pair of scissors. Then she snipped off the apron strings and handed them to John’s bride-to-be. She said, "Never again, will I have the same place in John’s life. You are now the women in his life."
IV> CONCLUSION:
A. You cannot give what you don’t have
1. You cannot share your faith with your children if you don’t have a faith to share
a. VS 1 & 2
