The End Times Survival Manual
Matthew 25:1-13
Dr. Roger W. Thomas, Preaching Minister
First Christian Church, Vandalia, MO
Introduction: Authors Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht have turned a rather dull how-to-book into virtual gold mine. Their original book The Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook was on the non-fiction bestseller lists for months. It has sold over million copies, sparked television shows, clothing lines, and a board game. Since the first version came out, the authors have created a growing number of spin offs such as The Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook for work, for travel, and even for dating. Who knows? They will probably come out with The Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook for Church. We could use one for VBS!
The books are part tongue-in-cheek satire and part real world advice from acknowledged experts. Each chapter addresses a different “worst case scenario.” For example, do you need to know how to escape from quicksand, cross a piranha-infested river, land a plane in case your pilot blacks out, or jump from a building and land in a dumpster? The book has a whole chapter on how to perform an emergency tracheotomy on one of your friends. All you need is a razor blade or very sharp knife and a ballpoint pen with the ink filler removed. I’ve been thinking about practicing that one. Anyone want to be my friend?
Some of the advice is quite predictable. For example, the book advises that if you have to deal with a charging bull, the number one rule is “do not antagonize the bull.” I guess that means don’t make ugly faces or call it insulting names. But sometimes the advice is quite demanding. For example, the chapter on “How to Foil a UFO Abduction” has these rules. Number 1: Don’t panic. The alien may sense your fear and act rashly. Number 2: Control your thoughts. Do not think of anything violent or upsetting—the alien may have the ability to read your mind. Number 3: Resist verbally. Firmly tell the alien to leave you alone. 4. Resist physically. Physical resistance should be used only as a last resort. Go for the alien’s eyes (if it has any)! I think I’m going to copy that list and keep it in my wallet! You never know!
In fact, the authors say that’s the whole purpose of their book. This is how they put it in the introduction, “The principle behind this book is a simple one. You just never know. You never really know what life will throw at you, what is sitting around the corner. You never really know when you might be called upon to choose life or death with your actions. But when you are called, you need to know what to do. That’s why this book is written.”
When I read that, it occurred to me that those words could just as easily been said about this book (the Bible). “You never know what life will throw at you. You never really know when you might be called upon to choose life or death. When you are called, you need to know what to do. That’s why THIS BOOK was written!”
This is doubly true of the two chapters we are looking at this month. Matthew 24-25 contains what you might call “Jesus’ End Times Survival Manual.” He had just told his disciples that a day was coming when the magnificent Jewish temple they had just left would be totally destroyed. Not one stone would be left standing on another. That was the “worst case scenario” the disciples could imagine. “When will this happen?” they asked. They assumed such destruction had to be the end of the world. So they also asked, “What will be the sign of your coming and of the end of the age?”
Jesus didn’t answer the way they probably expected. Instead of offering dates and hints, he called for faithfulness, vigilance, and constant preparation. “No one knows the day or the hour” he warned. To illustrate, he offered the three parables contained in chapter 25. We are going to spend the rest of April examining these parables.
Today’s seems pretty straightforward. The bottom line: you just never know what’s going to happen. Jesus words it this way, “Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour” (13). This is a story of contrasts. Ten young girls were to wait for a wedding party so they could lead a torch-light parade to the site of the big reception. Five of the girls were wise. Five were foolish. To understand the difference is to understand how to prepare for the ultimate worst case scenario. Three differences stand out in the story, the same differences that distinguish being ready for eternity as opposed to merely wishing we had been.
First, note the different attitudes. The wise think long haul; the foolish, short term. Ancient wedding festivities might last a week or more. The groom would pick up his bride at her home. A family blessing and brief party would follow. He would then escort the bride and her family to his parent’s home for the big celebration. Our story apparently takes place in that interval between the groom leaving to get his bride and his return with her for the feast. The groom had arranged for ten young ladies from the village to wait for his bridal party. With lamps (possibly torches), they would lead the parade to the party then take their place in the festivities.
This time, however, something went wrong. We don’t know the reason. It doesn’t matter. That’s not the point of the story. The point is the ten girls. Five had come prepared; five hadn’t.
Here’s our lesson. “No one knows the day or the hour,” Jesus warned. No one knows how long we have to wait until Jesus comes back. But it is not just that. We don’t know how long we have in this world whether it ends supernaturally or naturally. To act like we know something we don’t is sheer foolishness. It is foolish to live as if we have forever. It just as silly to live as if there were no tomorrow. Have you ever heard an older person say, “If I had known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.” The wise live as if this day were their last but prepare as if it weren’t!
Sometimes it takes a lot more faith and dedication to live long than it does to die soon. An episode of Becker I saw not long ago illustrates this. Becker is that CBS situation comedy series now in reruns. John Becker is the grumpy doctor who operates a medical practice in a run down section of Brooklyn. Becker is like Charlie Brown. He loves humanity. It’s people he can’t stand. His life is filled with one people problem after another.
In this particular episode, someone mixes up the medical tests on one of Becker’s patients. The doctor sits the patient down and tells him the bad news. He has an incurable disease. He will be dead within a week. The patient is stunned. He hears the news, pulls himself together, and leaves. The next day Becker picks up some papers and realizes that he had the wrong tests the day before. The patient was not dying after all. Becker immediately calls his patient to come in.
When the patient arrives, Becker springs the good news on him. A look of horror comes over his face. “Oh, no!” he moans, “tell me it isn’t’ true.” Becker can’t believe what he is seeing. “What’s wrong with you? I just told you you’re going to live. You should be happy!” The forlorn patient explains. When Becker had told him he only had a week to live, he decided to act like it. He went to work and quit his job. Not only that, he told his boss what for. He punched out his supervisor. He went on a wild spending spree maxing out all his credit cards. After all, he wouldn’t be alive when the bill came in. The joke was on them. Now he’s going to live. “Can’t you do something,” he begs Becker. “Are you sure you didn’t make a mistake? Isn’t there some way that the first report was right?”
You never know what life will throw at you. Faith needs to be for the long-haul not just the short term. It is one thing to have enough faith to be willing to die for the Lord. Real faith doesn’t just prepare us to die. It prepares us to live!
Secondly, note the different actions. The wise accept responsibility; the foolish merely accept the invitation. The groom had taken longer than expected. When the word finally comes that the groom is on his way, the foolish girls panic. They hadn’t planned on the long wait. They know they didn’t have enough oil to last. “Let us borrow some from you,” they plead with the other five. “No way, then we wouldn’t have enough either. You’re going to have to try to find some elsewhere.” Off they go to find the oil for their lamps.
The wise among us learn sooner rather than later that some things can’t be borrowed. You can’t borrow education, experience, or character or reputation. You have your own or you do without. Above all, everyone has to have their own faith. You can’t borrow your parents’ or grandparents’. God has no grandchildren, only first generation sons and daughters who come to him by grace through personal faith.
Max Lucado (in his book Just Like Jesus) tells the story of a man who had conned his way into the orchestra of the emperor of China despite the fact that couldn’t play a note. Whenever the group practiced or performed, he would hold his flute against his lips, pretending to play but not making a sound. He received a modest salary an enjoyed a comfortable living. Then one day the emperor requested a solo from each musician. There wasn’t enough time to learn the instrument. He pretended to be sick, but the royal physician wasn’t fooled. On the day of his solo performance, the impostor took poison and killed himself. The explanation of his suicide led to an expression that has found its way down the centuries, across the oceans, and even into the English language: “He refused to face the music.” Some things can’t be borrowed. Some day every one of us will face the music. The wise prepare for that day!
Finally, note the different outcomes. The wise celebrate inside while the foolish remain outside. The master of the feast wasn’t being unfair. This was not a public party. Only the wedding party was allowed in. When the groom came while the five foolish girls were off hunting for more oil, they missed the parade. They were no longer part of the procession. They had intended to be on the inside. They had wanted to be on the inside. Their different attitudes and actions resulted in a different outcome than what they had planned.
Eternal destinies are not determined by what we say we want. Everyone wants to go to heaven—if they understand what’s at stake. Destiny is not determined by our intentions, but by our actions. Revelation describes that ultimate day yet to come. “Then I saw a great white throne and him who was seated on it. Earth and sky fled from his presence, and there was no place for them. And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Another book was opened, which is the book of life. The dead were judged according to what they had done as recorded in the books. . . . If anyone’s name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire” (20:11-15).
The five foolish girls didn’t know how long the groom would be. If they had, they would have been ready. They didn’t know they would actually be refused entry into the party. If they had, they would have acted differently. None of us know whether our years will be long or short. Either death calls or Jesus comes. One way or the other everyone has a date with destiny. The outcome on that day will not be determined by what we want or what we intended. It all turns on whether we are prepared or not. The wise will rejoice on the inside.
Conclusion: In one of the Calvin and Hobbes comic strips, the boss catches Calvin sitting at his desk staring out the window. “Why aren’t you working, Calvin?” his boss asks. Without thinking Calvin confesses, “Because I didn’t see you coming.” Jesus said, “Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour.”
As that “Worst Case Scenario Survival Manual reminds us, “You just never know. You never really know what life will throw at you, what is sitting around the corner. You never really know when you might be called upon to choose life or death with your actions. But when you are called, you need to know what to do. That’s why this book is written.”
I hope you don’t consider the return of Jesus Christ and the judgment that will follow “a worst case scenario.” It doesn’t have to be. The Bible calls it our “blessed hope.” For those prepared for Christ’s return, it will be the best of all possible scenarios, not the worst! That day will be a joyous reunion. It will be the beginning of a celebration to end all celebrations.
It won’t be that way for everyone. That’s the bad news. The good news is that if you are listening to my words today, you have a choice. You still have an opportunity to prepare.
***Dr. Roger W. Thomas is the preaching minister at First Christian Church, 205 W. Park St., Vandalia, MO 63382 and an adjunct professor of Bible and Preaching at Central Christian College of the Bible, 911 E. Urbandale, Moberly, MO. He is a graduate of Lincoln Christian College (BA) and Lincoln Christian Seminary (MA, MDiv), and Northern Baptist Theological Seminary (DMin).
