“MODESTY IN A MTV WORLD”
1 Timothy 2:9 and Selected Scriptures
INTRODUCTION TO SERIES: (Drama: “The Bachelor” )
That drama is not too far from reality. In a January 2004 interview with Joe Millionaire’s Evan Marriott, he told how the whole show had been faked. From adding “smooching sounds” so that the audience would think he and one of the girls were kissing (and more) in the woods, to the point that the entire “Joe Millionaire” show was scripted. In fact, after the show ended he and Zorah Aldrich, who we thought he chose as his life long mate, returned the $25k ring that the TV audience saw and never saw each other again. On “Live with Regis and Kelly” Zora said, “The relationship ended as soon as the set lights went out.” It was all rigged. But it’s not just “Joe Millionaire.” An episode of “The Apprentice” shows an apartment being rented for a certain amount as part of the test when in truth it had already been procured for an entirely different amount just to stage that scene. Even some of the Survivor Islands that look deserted aren’t once you see a real aerial view. One ABC executive admits that “Reality TV” is actually “assisted reality.” He said, “We have to set up situations, edit and splice conversations and rig scenarios, otherwise reality tv would be a real bore!”
But are we surprised? In our more honest moments we know it’s not all real. And yet it is real popular! Over 50 “Reality TV” shows populate the tube. One poll suggests that over 2/3 of Americans watch reality tv. So the more important question is not “is it real” but, “why is it so popular?” Susan Ungaro, editor of Family Circle Magazine, told Hanna Storm on the CBS/Today Show, that she believes it’s because people are craving a dose of reality, even if it’s rigged. She said, “We have so much pretend glitz and glamor, so many “cons,” such an abundance of contrived advertising that people are looking for something that at least has a `ring of real.’ Reality TV allows us to get caught up in characters that make us wonder, `What would I have done or thought about that sceenario?” I believe she’s right - that there is a cultural hunger for what is real. For so long we have turned our backs on absolutes and have looked at fantasy and fiction that when something comes along that even seems to be real - we are all over it.
That’s why for the next four Sundays we want to make this our “Reality room” and discuss a number of real and relevant topics. None of this will be contrived, none of this will be fake. Just honest talk about what God would have us think and do with some real issues. Like: How we stay sane in an insanely busy lifestyle? How can we demonstrate humility in a ME world? How we live out our convictions in a culture that constantly cries “tolerance?.” This is reality, these are hot topics and we want to use our “reality room” to see them from the most real and relevant book in the world: the Bible. PRAY
INTRODUCTION TO SERMON: (Video clip - Apollo 13 - 1:01)
I wanted to show that clip from Apollo 13 to make sure we understand that our first topic: “Modesty in an MTV World” is not a new concern. Whether it’s 30 some years ago as depicted in that clip or 30 minutes ago when you argued with your child about what they were going to wear here, modesty has always been an issue. I am not immune either. We have a beautiful, now married daughter (I may be somewhat bias). But it has not been so long that I can’t remember this issue causing some high interest and high anxiety for us too. But every generation has had to deal with this. That’s why Paul, some 2000 years ago, wrote in 1 Timothy 2:9: “I want women to show their beauty by dressing in appropriate clothes that are modest and respectable.”(GW)
And let me be quick to say this is not just a female issue! Dave Barry wrote an article that appeared in the Chicago Tribune some time ago, and asked, "Can young men wear their pants any lower? Their waist bands are now approximately at knee level. Where will this trend end, the shins, the feet? Will our boys eventually detach themselves from their pants altogether and just drag them along behind connected to their ankles by a belt?" In God’s eyes, the whole of scripture makes it clear that these words are for all of us. But this is a perpetual struggle for families.
You know the idea of modesty in an MTV culture is kind of an oxymoron. And when I say MTV culture, I am not trying to pick on MTV; I am just using that as kind of a metaphor to describe the total sexualization of our culture. And it seems in many different circles these days that there is kind of a growing consensus, in educational circles, psychology and family circles, that when it comes to the whole subject of modesty, we may have crossed a line that’s never been crossed before. And I believe that the line gets crossed so gradually in many families that we don’t realize what is happening. I mean we watched the cute little Mousketeers that were on Mickey Mouse club on the Disney channel grow up - little Justin and little Brittany and little Cristina and you know, they are just so cute. And they make some music and your kids want the CDs and you think of them as Mousketeers and see no problem. But gradually as the years have gone by, the looks of these former musketeers gets a bit more provocative. And the clothes get shorter and tighter, and the content and the dance moves get more sexual, at first kind of covertly and then overtly, and you begin to wonder at some point you say, "Wait a minute, have I crossed a line in this process somewhere?" And it is a very confusing issue for parents to know how to respond to this, if you respond at all. “Where do you draw the line? How short is too short, how low is too low, how high is too high? And I think the primary reason that we are confused is that no one has been real enough to take the risk and address this issue of modesty. Does the Bible have any guidance on these issues? Does God give us any wisdom relative to these subject matters?" And the answer is not only “yes.” But, absolutely yes.
I. THREE REASONS GOD ENCOURAGES MODESTY:
Now, let me say right from the start that I am not going to define “modesty” for you. Even the scripture from 1 Timothy doesn’t do that. It just uses words like “appropriate,” “modest,” and “respectable.” And please understand we are not just talking about dress here. When you hear the word modest you need to be thinking from a Biblical perspective which includes decency in behavior, speech as well as dress. But why not define what is modest? Because rather than try to make legalistic rules for what modesty is, I think God sees it as more helpful to explore why it matters. To ask: “What would be in the heart of God that he would think it would be important for us to establish some modesty guidelines?” I want to give you three of the factors that I believe are behind God’s heart in this issue.
1. The first reason God encourages modesty is for our protection. Many of you know I was a police officer for over a dozen years. In that job I saw so many broken lives, so much heartbreak, so many people searching disparately for something to satisfy. And I will tell you from first hand experience that there is a correlation between the higher levels of immodesty - whether that be immodest dress or drinking or a lack of wisdom in where you go and who you go with - there is a correlation between the higher levels of immodesty and broken lives.
I began to gain a new appreciation for Jesus’ words in Luke 6:45 where he said, "Good people bring good things out of the good they stored in their hearts. But evil people bring evil things out of the evil they stored in their hearts. People say and do things that are in their hearts." (NCV) There is a correlation between what we absorb and then what we have to contend with in our souls. And I believe this is one of the reasons why out of God’s great love for us that he gives us this modesty principal, He wants to protect us from ever increasing levels of brokenness, disease, relational breakdown and the emotional toll that shakes us to our very foundations when there is no modesty in our culture. He wants to protect our souls, our marriages, our relationships, our kids and our future. There is a protection factor in this principal.
2. A second reason I believe God encourages modesty is for prevention. One of the most famous falls to occur in the history occurred some 3000 years ago with a King of Israel named David. King David had sent his troops off into battle but he stayed behind. Which was not something that was considered acceptable in his day. But, being at home, one evening he takes a walk out on the veranda. I kind of picture him, walking in the cool of the evening looking down over and seeing the city lights. And all of a sudden he hears water splashing, and he looks, and on the roof of a nearby home is a beautiful woman named Bathsheba taking a bath. Her husband was off to war, and she was home alone. And the Bible emphasizes she wasn’t just good looking, she was "very" beautiful. I’ve said this before, when the Bible says someone is beautiful she’s a knock out but when it says you are “very beautful” well.. The kids today would say "She’s a hottie!"
The story of David and Basheba, unfortunately, turns out bad. He sees, he likes, he sends, she comes. They commit adultery and produce a child. To cover-up, David sends her husband on a suicide mission so that he can marry Bathsheba. The details of the story are for another time but just know that because of this act, unbelievable dysfunction and devastation happen in David’s family. How could all of that have been prevented? David certainly knows better, the Bible describes him as “a man after God’s own heart.” What was he thinking? But one of the things I have to wonder about is what was Bathsheba doing taking a bath on the roof? I mean, that’s not where we take baths at our house. Why doesn’t she draw a shade? Why doesn’t she put the tub somewhere where it can’t be seen? I know either one of them could have prevented it. But Bathsheba could of prevented this by demonstrating a level of modesty - bathing inside. But wait.. when a guy stands in front of a mirror figuring out what shirt to wear because he wants his pecks to be displayed to their fullest, and his pants are about 4" below the top of his underwear, and his jeans look painted on - Or- a woman makes sure there is hardly anything left to the imagination - so much cleavage, so tight. I mean, how much difference is there?
Please understand, God is trying to prevent problems here and we can help Him. Why don’t we all just determine to help each other in this prevention area? That doesn’t mean you can’t dress attractively, but let’s be careful not to dress provocatively. I’m not saying you have to be frumpy, it just means that you might have to put a little extra effort and thought into choosing what to wear. Wouldn’t it be something if all of us: students, men, women, parents and grandparents just decided, "We’re going to express love for each other in this area, and we’re going to practice prevention by the way that we dress."
But I think the most important factor in the heart of God is an identity factor behind this modesty principle. Let me ask you a question. When a fifteen year old boy sees a girl whose body is maturing, who maybe begins to look a little older than she really is, and she is wearing about half a shirt that looks like its been painted on her, low pants that are so low that her low rising underwear is exposed, what do you think that teenage boy is thinking about? Her intellectual capacity? Her artistic abilities? I mean how does he think of that person in that female body as anything other than a sexual object? And vice versa for the fifteen year old girl looking at that boy in similar attire. How does she think of him? You know what? I can’t imagine any parent who would say, “When my child gets to their teen years I want them to advertise their sexuality as 100% of who they are.” Nobody wants that! I didn’t. I want people to see in my children as human beings made in the image of God with gifts, feelings, ability, intellectual capacity, creativity, spiritual commitment, with energy, joy and life - not just as a sexual object. Now, I understand that there is an aspect of sexuality about all of us because that’s how God made us, but that’s not the only part of us.
And this doesn’t just apply to our children does it? Do any of you.. Dad, moms, students: do you want your sexuality to communicate that to be 100% of who you are? Doesn’t that dehumanize your personhood? I think this is the core and what’s in the heart, and mind and love of God for us in this issue. Because he knit every human being together in their mother’s womb, He made every human being unique. He gave his only son on behalf of you. You are a treasured child of the most high God. "That" is your identity. "That" is your value. "That" is who you are! And immodest, provocative, indecent clothing and behavior just reduces you to so much less than who God made you to be. Please, please don’t miss this: God doesn’t want you to demean yourself! He wants more for you than that. 1 John 3:1: “What marvelous love the Father has extended to us! Just look at it - we’re called children of God! That’s who we really are.” (MSG)
So, God promotes modesty for our protection, to prevent problems, and to ensure our identity as His beloved child. Don’t reduce who you are made to be. You are a treasured child of the most high God.
II. THREE RISKS IN MEETING GOD’S DESIRES:
Now, before we go home I want to challenge everyone here to take some risks in this area. If we are going to be modest in our dress, speech, behavior, etc. than there are going to be some challenges we will face.
1. Risk going against the flow, go against what the culture says. Let me tell you about a very unusual sixteen year old who lived in the midst of an MTV kind of culture. His name was Daniel. The year was 605 BC, he is just 16 years old, he is just finishing his sophomore year at Jerusalem Community High School, home of the mighty goats or something. Some really bad people from Babylon come to Jerusalem and kidnap from that city some of the best and brightest young men and take them back with them. Guess who is one of the guys that they take? Our man Dan. They take him to Babylon, 500 miles away, to a very decadent, perverted, highly sexualized Las Vegas kind of culture. They enroll this sixteen year old in a private, very posh school; it was the King’s private school. The training lasted for three years, and then if you graduated from the King’s academy you would be placed in a top position in his administration. Now one of the fringe benefits of being part of the King’s school, is that you ate at the King’s training table. The food there was unbelievable. It was the best, the tastiest, banquet type food everyday. So here is this young, strong, adventuresome teenager being told, "Eat whatever you want, whenever you want, as much as you want. The best food, the best wine, your parents aren’t even here to stop you from indulging in anything you want." Most of the boys were diving into this cholesterol feast but Daniel sees that much of this food is the kind that he has been taught dishonors God and he takes a risk. New to the culture, he says, "I am not going to eat that food." And He suggests a deal with the leaders. He says, "What if for the next ten days, instead of eating all this rich, you know, triple bypass buffet kind of stuff, we (Dan and some of his closest buds) just eat vegetables and water?" He goes, "Let’ see who is healthier at the end of ten days." So there is this little contest, and guess who is healthier after ten days? Dan and his boys. But think about what Daniel did. 500 miles from home, nobody would ever know, Mom and Dad would never know - he could have dived in and done whatever he wanted. But instead he goes against the flow and takes a risk. And God honors Daniel for it.
Listen, I know it takes a risk to go against the flow of a culture. To go one way when everything else is going another. But it can be done with God’s help. Do the courageous thing like Daniel did. And God will honor you too!
2. Risk wrestling with what modesty is in today’s culture. What does it mean to be modest right now? You know the Bible calls us to the value of modesty, but it
doesn’t give us a bunch of rigid rules about how to dress, about what is appropriate, what not to wear; because those issues, when you think about it, are different in different cultures at different times. There is no one-size-fits-all set of rules for everybody, no-one-size-fits-all set of rules for every family in this room, and I know some of you think it would be so much easier – just give us some rules! Give us rules about clothing, give us rules about television watching, give us rules about behavior. But rules are what get religious people in trouble sometime. We get legalistic and start measuring how far above the knee the skirt is or how far over the ear the hair is, what movies we can watch, etc. We become legalistic.
Notice again that 1 Tim. 2:9 does not define modesty. Why? Because God wants you to ask: "What is modest – what does that value mean in our day?" That’s a risk, that takes work. Sit down at dinnertime, talk with your kids. What’s behind the protection factor, the prevention factor, what’s behind the identity factor in the heart of God? How do these values get expressed in our time, in our MTV culture, in our day, in our home? Take the challenge and wrestle with this stuff.
Now finally, I want to challenge you to take a third risk: risk finding your identity in Jesus Christ. That is pretty risky. Because it means you’ve got to ask: “Who do I belong to? This culture or God? Am I going to allow the culture to make me into it’s image or am I going to act like one who has been created in God’s image?” The Bible says you are a treasured child of the most high God. Parents & grandparents, our kids need to know; to have that reinforced in them over and over again, to hear the power of those words, "You are a treasured child. You matter to God. He loves you. He gave his son for you."
I heard about a woman whose dad owned a grocery store when she was growing up, and several times a week the milkman would come to deliver milk to the store, and every time he saw her he would say, "How is my little Miss America doing today? So beautiful, so talented." Everyday, he would stack the milk he would say, "How is my little Miss. American doing? So beautiful so talented." This went on for years and years, just building that into her. Well when she was a high school junior she entered her first pageant, and her goal was to become Miss America. When she won the Miss America title in the 1980’s, she gave the credit to the milkman. She said, "Those words motivated me and shaped my life."
Ever since I heard that I thought, I should of been saying to my kids everyday, “How’s my little millionaire today? Gonna take care of Daddy someday!”But seriously, think about the power of words that only apply to outward things like beauty or riches - think how much more powerful and wonderful, words of a parent or a grandparent when they put their arms around them and say, "You are loved. You are treasured. You matter. God treasures you. I’m crazy about you."
You know all of us have various pieces of clothing right now in our closets at home in our dresser drawers. Let me tell you the most valuable piece of clothing you can ever have. In Luke 15 Jesus tells the story of the prodigal son. About a boy who goes off into an MTV kind of culture. After some time he hits rock bottom and comes to his senses. He is humbled and he is broken. There is that unbelievable scene where he heads back home to his dad, and his dad sees him on the horizon. And seeing him, his dad runs to him, puts his arms around him, kisses and hugs him. The boy tries to apologize but his dad says, "we’re going to have a party because my son is home." But he also says,"Bring the best robe and put it on him. Bring the best robe and put it on my son." In the Middle East culture the robe was a mark of the highest distinction and value. It is as if he was saying, "I am going to take my mistake-prone, broken son, who is feeling defeated right now, who is feeling like he doesn’t matter, and I am going to put on him a robe of love, that communicates he is my treasured child."
I read one time about little Martha Taft, she stood up before her elementary school in Cincinnati, Ohio, and they were asked to introduce themselves. She stood up tall with her shoulders back and she said, "My name is Martha Bowers Taft. My great grandfather was president of the United States. My grandfather was the United States senator. My daddy is the ambassador to Ireland. And I am a Brownie." Listen, when you find out that you matter to God, that he loved you so much that he would rather die than live without you, you stand tall. Know your identity: "I am a treasured child of the most high God. That is who I am." So.. “Let us live decently, like people who belong to the day, clothing ourselves with Jesus Christ.” (Rom. 13:13-14 NCV)
{The drama used for the introduction to the sermon was written and performed by the Drama Ministry of Discovery Christian Church.}
Excellent recourse for this message:
Willow Creek Community Church’s 2004 sermon series entitled "Risk It".
