The Most Excellent Way
-Applying God’s Love to your Home and Life-
I Corinthians 13
I John 4:7-11
During the month of May we have been focusing on the home and family. The family is the most important unit in our society. As the family goes do goes the nation.
Everyone is part of a family. Whether you are single or married, single parent, married with no children, married with children or a blended family. You are part of a family. Whatever our family situation our goal is to honor Christ and have a Christian home. More than anything else the Christian home is to be characterized by God’s love.
In I Corinthians 12 the Apostle Paul teaches that the Body of Christ includes people of all nationalities and people possessing various skills and gifts of the Holy Spirit. Every person in the Body of Christ is important. I Corinthians 12:22,Paul speaks of the various parts of the Body of Christ “In fact some of the parts that seem weakest are least important are really the most necessary.” Don’t ever think you are not important in the eyes of God. God created you and appreciates you.
Paul sums up chapter 12 in verse 31, “…and now I show you the most excellent way.” (NIV) I Corinthians 13 describes the most excellent way in applying God’s love in your home and in you life.
I. God’s Love Is the Foundation for the Christian Home
Three words are used for “love” in New Testament times: “Eros” is used in classical Greek (not used in the New Testament) to describe “selfish love.” “Phileo” describes “brotherly love” and “Agape” designates “spiritual love.” “Agape” love is the predominant word for love used in I Corinthians 13.
Unhealthy and dysfunctional relationships result when “Eros” love is predominant. Healthy relationships are built upon “phileo” and “agape” love.
“Agape” love was demonstrated when Jesus became incarnate in man – (John 3:16,17,36).
God’s love includes God’s authority and accountability. God’s Word is clear, sin has consequences. God is love, but true love makes justice and judgment necessary.
Proverbs 1:7, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, fools despise wisdom and instruction.” Psalm 111:10, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” Deut. 6:13, “Fear the Lord your God.” “Fear” mentioned in these verses means having reverence and respect for your Creator.
It seems that an adequate fear of the Lord is missing in many of our homes.
1. A barrier to experiencing God’s love in the home is the fact that we have lost our fear of God. We no longer have proper respect for God or our parents. We quickly forget that love demands justice.
Is it any wonder that many American homes have no reverential fear of God when many College and University Professors ridicule and mock faith in God and dismiss the Bible as irrelevant? The Word of God is clear – Sin has consequences. Yes, God is love, but true love carries with it justice.
We need to get back to a reverential fear of the Lord in our homes and in our relationships with others.
2. Another barrier to God’s love in our home and in our life is the fact that we have abandoned absolute truth. John 8:31-32, “To the Jews who believed him, Jesus said, ‘If you hold to my teachings, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.”
The moral climate today is typified by the campaign Microsoft used to introduce Windows 95 in 1995. Microsoft Corp. ran a two page advertisement of two children running with a kite. The girl and boy with smiles on their faces romped across a deep green field with no fences. Two words stood out on the pages – “No Limits.”
Many have the attitude, “You can be free, live a life with no fences or boundaries. Why submit to old rules? You are in charge of your destiny. The only rule you need to know is that there are no rules.”
When truth and ethics are relative with no absolutes and no boundaries the end result is lawlessness. When Israel was going in and out of bondage in Judges the common theme of that time was: “Everyone did what was right in their own eyes.” With the view there are no absolutes, the words of Jesus in John 14:6, Jesus said, I am the way, the truth and the life;” Are too narrow-minded and intolerant.
God’s love is the most excellent way. It is the foundation for the Christian home. Christ is the key to the Kingdom of Heaven, but it is His love that turns the key that opens the door. God is love. Love and God are synonymous. Love never stands alone. It always involves relationships. “God so loved he gave…”
Jesus taught that the greatest commandment is to “love the Lord our God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” (Mark 12:30)
God’s love is the foundation for the Christian home.
II. God’s Love is Lived Out in Our Relationships
It’s easy to talk about God’s love, but it’s a challenge to live and apply God’s love in our relationships at home and with others.
I Corinthians 13:1-3, “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.”
In the home there are several things that love is not.
• Love is not letting your children get away with anything they want to do. True love sets limits and boundaries because we know that is what’s best for our kids.
• Love is not giving our children everything they want. There is a tendency in our fast paced life style to give our kids things rather than spend time with them. There are examples of divorced moms or dads who buy gifts in exchange for being named the “favorite parent.” But love does not equal material gifts.
• Love is not being a doormat for our children. The problem of letting children run and control the family with temper tantrums or constant whining, little monsters are developed in the process. The proverb, “Spare the rod and spoil the child,” does not mean endless punishment, it means guiding and shaping the child to honor and respect authority.
Paul is saying in I Corinthians 13 that it doesn’t matter how successful you are in life. It doesn’t matter how many degrees you have earned, or awards you have received, the size of your home, or the kind of car you drive. If you don’t love in your actions, if you don’t possess love in your life, then all that other stuff doesn’t matter because what matters most to God is love. Paul is saying you can do some amazing things, “but if you don’t love, those things are worthless from God’s perspective.
I Corinthians 13:4 speaks to the heart of Christianity. This verse gives testimony to the validity of your Christian faith…”Love is patient and kind.” You can speak and sing like an angel. You can brag about all you do for the Lord, but if you aren’t patient and kind, everything you do or say is like a puff of smoke – here for a while and then gone.
I read about one woman who showed kindness that actually paid off. The woman was standing at a bus stop. She had just cashed her tax refund check, so she was carrying more money than usual and was a little nervous about that. She glanced around and noticed a shabbily dressed man standing nearby. And as she watched, she saw a man walk up to him, hand him some money, and whisper something in his ear.
She was so touched by that act of kindness that she decided to do the same. In a bust of generosity, she reached into her purse, took out $10, handed it to the man, and whispered to him, “Never-despair, never despair.”
The next day when she came to the bus stop, there he was again. But this time he walked up to her and handed her $110. Dumbfounded, she asked, “What’s this?” He said, “You won, lady. “Never Despair” paid 10 to 1.”
I’m not talking about kindness you do as an investment or taking a risk in gambling. I’m talking about being kind in your relationships with others. The Bible is an instruction book on relationships. Love is patient and kind, not self seeking and keeps no records of wrongs. Christian love overcomes differences. Rather than being judgmental love encourages and builds up others. True Christian life accentuates the positive and does not focus on finding fault.
Christian love builds up and strengthens others and does not become jealous.
Does patience and kindness describe you this past week? I’ll admit I need God’s help being patient.
I Corinthians 13:4-7 coaches us how to live and demonstrate Christ’s live at home and wherever we are. “Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.”
Love isn’t jealous or boastful or proud. If we have that attitude what would happen in our relationships?
Love isn’t rude or self seeking; it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong. When you get angry you’re only thinking of yourself and not the other person. We get mad and angry when we don’t get our way or don’t win.
Under pressure our true self tends to come out. Most of us react in four different ways when under pressure.
1. Autocratic. “I want it this way, end of discussion. I’m not talking about it any more. That’s the way it is, period. It’s my way or the highway.
2. Attack. “I know I did that, so what? I was right. I’m going to win whatever it takes.”
3. Acquiesce. I give up. Why try? I’ll keep peace at any price. I’ll say “yes” to help keep the conflict down.
4. Avoid. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I can’t say anything right now.
When we act of anger we say and do things that we later regret. We would like to have another chance. Some people mix kind words with dishonesty. One woman prayed: “Lord, give me the emotional strength to love him because he’s so un-loveable. And Lord, give me the mental strength to care for him because he’s so selfish. And Lord, give me the spiritual strength to encourage him because he’s so trying. But Lord, please don’t give me the physical strength because if you do I’ll beat him to death.”
Love is patient and kind. Sometimes we need to be careful what we say or think on our feet to say positive words. The story is told about a 6’ 10’’ Texan who walked up to the counter at McDonalds, slammed down his big fist & said to the girl behind the counter, I want half a Big Mac.” She said, “What?” He said, “I want half a Big Mac and I want it now.”
Not being sure what to do, she said, “Excuse me for a minute.” And she headed back to her manager without realizing that the man was following right behind her.
She got back to the manager and said, “There’s a big klutz out there who is dumber than lead and he has ordered half a Big Mac.” And just then she suddenly realized that he was standing right behind her. Quickly she added, “And this gentleman wants the other half.”
May the Lord help each of us practice agape love in our homes and with others. Agape love gives evidence that we indeed are Christ-followers.
III. God’s Love is the Most Excellent Way
I Corinthians 13:13 “There are three things that will endure- faith, hope and love, and the greatest of these is love.”
The Apostle John tells us that the “Most Excellent Way” is living like Jesus. I John 4:17 “And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on th day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence, because we are like Christ here in this world.”
Love is not so much doing something as it is being changed and conforming into the image of Jesus.
To have Christian love is to love as God loves. It is colorblind love that loves without regard for return.
To love as Jesus loved is to love those who reject you. Christian love continues to love those who hurt and lie.
To love as Jesus loves means that we will love rather than demand or expect love, believing that love begets love.
To love as Jesus loved is to possess the fruit of the Holy Spirit. Galatians 5:22 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control, against such there is no law.” Love is the basis for the other attributes of the Holy Spirit.
Joy is the expression of love. Peace is love in repose. Patience and gentleness are love in behavior. Goodness and meekness are the disposition of love. Faith is the quiet confidence of love. Temperance is love in control.
The goal for all of us is to practice love in all our relationships and first of all in our homes.
Too often instead of patience there are quick tempers.
Instead of humility there is jealously.
Instead of courtesy there is rudeness.
Instead of meekness there is selfishness.
Instead of long suffering there is irritation.
Instead of consideration there are unkind thoughts toward one another.
Some construction workers were building a high rise across the street from a hospital. As they were working on the 3rd floor they noticed a little girl standing in the 3rd floor window of the hospital watching them work.
One day they looked across & saw the little girl hold up a poster that said, "My name is Lisa. What are your names?"
So the next day the construction workers came back with some poster board & magic markers, & they all wrote down their names. "My name is Bob. My name is Bill. My name is Harry. How old are you?"
The next day the little girl held up a sign that said, "I am 7 years old. How old are you?"
Well, this went on for several days. But one day they noticed that Lisa wasn’t at her usual place in the window. So at break time one of the workers called the hospital & asked for a third floor nurse. He asked if she could tell him anything at all about Lisa.
The nurse said that Lisa had taken a turn for the worse & was now in Intensive Care. So the workers pooled their money & bought some flowers & a card & wrote a note on it, & sent it to Lisa in Intensive Care.
Several days passed by, & then another sign appeared at the window, "Lisa passed away. Thank you for caring!"
Let’s pray that the Lord will help us be sensitive to the needs of people around us. Let’s use I Corinthians as our guideline for living the Most Excellent Way the way of selfless Christ-like love in our homes and in all our relationships.
