Total Family Makeover Series
Firing the Kid CEO
Hebrews 12:9-10
February 20, 2005 First Baptist, Chester Mike Fogerson, Speaker
Philip Yancey tells about an African safari he was on where he saw an old momma giraffe taking care of her offspring. Shortly after he was born, she went over & kicked her offspring, & it looked like she was really hurting her baby. Then she did it again.
Each time, the little giraffe would get up on his wobbly legs & try to walk. Still she continued kicking him. Finally, he got up pretty rapidly & ran away from her kicks.
Phil turned to his guide & asked, "Why does the mother giraffe do that?" The guide answered, "The only defense the giraffe has is its ability to get up quickly & to out run its predator. If it can’t do that, it will soon die."
Yancey said that while it looked like it was a cruel thing, it was really the most loving thing the mother could do for her offspring. And sometimes discipline is the same way.
9 Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them; shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness. -Heb 12:9-10 (NASB)
ETS: The author of Hebrews explained the purpose of parental discipline to early believers.
ESS: Discipline is a natural extension of godly parents’ love for their children.
OBJ: I hope my parents will pattern their disciplining techniques after scriptural principles.
PQ: What can you do differently to be a better parent?
UW: Understandings
TS: Let’s look at two understandings that can help good parents become godly parents that fire the kid CEO.
I. Godly parents understand their limitations in disciplining. For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them Heb 12:10a (NASB)
A. The author of Hebrews was blunt about the limitations of the discipline of the parents (esp. father)
A. "For they disciplined us for a short time"
* They only had a small portion of their child’s life in which to teach/instruct/train how to act, obey, respect.
B. "...as seemed best to them."
* Implication is that Dad did what he thought was the best; which didn’t necessarily mean it was. It was the best...to them.
C. There is an apostolic expectation that kids were to respect their parents’ (esp. fathers) efforts.
* V. 9a ...we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them Heb 12:9 (NASB)
* If Jr. and Sissy didn’t respect Mom and Dad...deep weeds. For as he thinks within himself, so he is. Prov 23:7 (NASB)
* Part of how discipline is received is the child’s receptivity to discipline, parents, authority, obedient.
B. Moms/Dads (talking about limitations) discipline is always for a reason/season.
a. Reason= Jr./Sissy had to have disrespected/disobeyed.
Season= Since I moved out of the house, my dad has not grounded me one time. I’m 34 and the time for discipline from my daddy is over (Prov. 22:6, John 14:6a Jesus said...I am the way).
b. The heart of discipline has two purposes:
1. To teach respect of authority (kids who don’t learn this typically become useless adults).
2. To teach obedience to your commands (careful=want to instill respect, not resentment. Fathers, do not nag your children. If you are too hard to please, they may want to stop trying. Col 3:21 (NCV)(IL) Calvin-hunker when I raised my voice.
3. All we can do is the best we can do while we can do it. Don’t break their spirit). Lake- It’s alright dad, accidents happen.
C. Helium Balloon:
a The balloon has been entrusted to us. (Kids) And our goal is one day to let that balloon go.
(Hold up a Helium filled Balloon)
When a child is first born we hold unto them very tightly, protecting their every thought and movement. But, as time goes on, and our child begins to naturally mature, as a healthy parent we must be willing to loosen our grip.
Note: (@ this point I will hold unto the end of a balloon where it is knotted and wave it slightly).
At first our Child is given very little freedom! As parents we stay very close to them. We want to have strong influence in their lives. We want to protect them.
However, Little by little, step by step, year after year, as the child continues to mature and to display more responsibility, it is the healthy parent’s responsibility to keep on loosening our grip more and more. Note: (I will slowly let out the string)
Eventually their comes a time in every parent’s life when we our jobs are complete and we must let go completely of our children and entrust them into God’s care!
TS: Although there are definitely limitations to earthly discipline, those limitations in no way let parents "off the hook" to discipline.
II Godly parents understand the obligations in disciplining. Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them; shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live? Heb 12:9 (NASB)
A. The author expected the kids to be subject to their parents’ (esp. dad’s) discipline (Prov. 1:8; 6:20; 23:22; Eph. 6:1; Col. 3:20 ALL NCV).
a. Subject meant: 1) Military terms:arranged troops under the command of a leader. 2) Non-military:voluntarily gave in, submissive, cooperate
b. Parents were biblically obligated to discipline! (Deut. 6:7, Prov. 22:6, Eph. 6:4)
B. Discipline is not only obligatory, it’s a unique part of the parent-child relationship.
a. I’m obligated to discipline my kids (I’ll turn a blind eye, bite my tongue with your kids...but my kids are my responsibility. My kids are special to me).
b. Biblical discipline is obligated to show at least these three elements:
1. Clear expectations (Col. 3:20, Prov. 1:8, Eph. 6:1, all NCV)
2. Constant evaluation (IL: Instructors/teachers give tests) Prov. 29:15, NCV
3. Correction exhibited (Prov. 13:24; 19:8; 23:13, all NCV)
c. The end result of biblical discipline to have kids who look like the heavenly Father ...He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness. Heb 12:10b (NASB) Clear expectations/constant evaluation/correction (discipline).
C. John Maxwell tells in his book, "The Leader Within You," the story of the building of the Great Wall of China. They built it so high that no one could get over it. And they built it so thick that no one could tunnel through it. They built this gigantic wall that still exists today. And then the people of China sat down behind the wall, feeling that their future was secure.
But in the first 100 years of the existence of the Wall of China, China was invaded 3 different times. The enemy didn’t come over because it was too high. They didn’t tunnel through because it was too thick. But each time China was invaded, the enemy came through a gate left open for them.
Those who guarded the gate had been bribed. And while the people of China sat comfortably behind the security & the safety of the wall, they failed to teach their children integrity & patriotism. So they sold out to the enemy. And the enemy invaded their land. What a parable!
Conclusion:
ETS: The author of Hebrews explained the purpose of parental discipline to early believers.
ESS: Discipline is a natural extension of godly parents’ love for their children.
A We’ve looked at two understandings that can help good parents become godly parents that fire the CEO.
1. Godly parents understand their limitations in disciplining.
2. Godly parents understand their obligation to disciplining.
B OBJ: I hope my parents will pattern their disciplining techniques after scriptural principles.
1. Limited: Reason/Season . . . Give it your best shot!!
2. Obligation: Commanded by God’s Word
C What can you do differently to be a better parent?
a Clovis Chappell, a minister from a century back, used to tell the story of two paddleboats. They left Memphis about the same time, traveling down the Mississippi River to New Orleans. As they traveled side by side, sailors from one vessel made a few remarks about the snail’s pace of the other. Words were exchanged. Challenges were made. And the race began. Competition became vicious as the two boats roared through the Deep South.
One boat began falling behind. Not enough fuel. There had been plenty of coal for the trip, but not enough for a race. As the boat dropped back, an enterprising young sailor took some of the ship’s cargo and tossed it into the ovens. When the sailors saw that the supplies burned as well as the coal, they fueled their boat with the material they had been assigned to transport.
They ended up winning the race, but burned their cargo.
God has entrusted cargo to us, too: children, spouses, friends. Our job is to do our part in seeing that this cargo reaches its destination.
b God is not as interested in us raising good kids as He is wanting us to raise god’s kids.
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Respectfully,
Mike Fogerson
