A Happy and Successful Marriage
Part 2
(1 Peter 3:7)
Introduction: If you will open your bibles to the 3rd chapter of 1 Peter, we will study together the 7th verse.
Peter is writing to Christian people who were scattered and being persecuted by an unbelieving world. As I stated last week, Peter is challenging them to live as becoming their Christian name. I noted that Peter talked about their citizenship, relationships of servants with masters and vice versa. Then Peter comes to the home.
Last Sunday morning I stated that Peter gives us a blueprint for a happy and successful marriage. If you will check what Peter said with other parts of scripture you see a picture that is consistent.
The formula is very simple: 1) the wife is a Christian helper, 2) the husband is a Christian lover and 3) both cooperating to promote the Kingdom of God in and through the home. This formula, if followed, will make our homes today happy, complete and successful.
In the first six verses of the chapter we saw the wife’s part in this mix. She is designed to be a Christian helper. This is God’s design from the very beginning. In Proverbs 31 we found that she is to help her husband by: (1) being diligent in her home-making, (2) being trustworthy, and (3) by being diligent in her work. Then in this section of 1st Peter we found that she is to help her husband by winning him to the Lord, if he is not a Christian.
But enough about the wife, let’s look at the husband. The first 6 verses dealt with the wife the next verse deals with the husband. Men, don’t get to proud about the number of verses. Peter said a lot in one verse and Paul had a mouthful dealing with us.
MEN YOU ARE TO BE A CHRISTIAN LOVER!
I. You are to live with your wife, giving her honor.
a. “Live with your wives [that is your own wife] showing them honor”
i. Live with your own wife with a two-fold knowledge:
1. She is physically weaker than you.
2. She is spiritually equal to you.
ii. As a Christian, these early husbands understood the divine order that God has in place.
1. They knew the husband was the head of the wife.
2. They also knew that the wife was the weaker of the two physically.
3. They understood that God has ordained it this way.
a. Realizing your wife’s physical weakness and loving her any way.
b. This is giving honor unto her.
iii. Men, we are to love our wife because they are spiritually equal too us.
1. They are spiritually equal because of God’s mercy and grace.
2. “as co-heirs of the grace of life”
3. Love for your wife, because of her weakness physically and equality spiritually compels a husband to do a few things.
a. Compels you to protect your wife.
i. Let nothing harm her.
ii. Let no one harm her.
b. Compels you to provide for your wife.
i. Make her comfortable.
ii. Help her in her daily duties.
c. Compels you to be considerate of your wife.
i. Be patient with her.
ii. Trust her.
iii. Respect her judgment.
4. Let me turn to 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and read a description of the kind of love a CHRISTIAN husband should have for his Christian helper and God given companion.
a. 4Love is patient; love is kind; love does not envy; is not boastful; is not conceited; 5does not act improperly; Is not selfish; is not provoked; does not keep a record of wrongs; 6tfinds no joy in unrighteousness, but rejoices in truth; 7bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.
b. Isn’t that beautiful
i. So simple
ii. So easy to understand
II. There are five (5) characteristics of this love.
a. Love is described as being patient (Never gives up).
i. Impatience and brutish inconsideration has made more couples unhappy than perhaps any other thing.
1. More wives sue for divorce on the grounds of mental cruelty than on any other grounds.
2. A Husband who loves his wife the way he should with the love described here…
a. Will be very patient in times of sickness and fear.
i. Which most of the times comes because she has worked herself down performing chores around the house.
b. Will be very courteous.
i. Treat her like you did BEFORE you got married.
ii. Most of us won our wives because of our courteousness.
1. It at least helped.
2. Certainly our charm was considered.
iii. But marriage has terminated most of those little acts of kindness and chivalry.
1. Open the car door.
2. Sitting next to each other in the vehicle.
3. Bringing home flowers.
4. Letting her pick a place to eat.
5. Flirting while watching television.
3. MEN – BE CONSIDERATE OF YOUR WIFE!
b. Love is described as being unselfish.
i. Men, how selfish are we at times?
1. We want this.
2. We have got to have that.
3. It doesn’t matter how much it deprives our wife or family.
ii. Man husbands are selfish in their entertainment of themselves.
1. Men, we go where we want to go.
2. We do what we want to do.
3. We never consider the thoughts of our wives.
a. And we still say we love them?
iii. There is nothing wrong with a lot of possessions.
1. We get a new four-wheeler.
2. Or the latest fishing equipment.
3. Or a cabinet full of guns and hunting equipment.
iv. What makes it a sin is the fact that our wives have to do without, so that we can have a great time and be entertained.
1. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with hunting, fishing or any other sport that we men like and enjoy.
a. But sometimes we need to do something as a couple with our wife.
i. Don’t bring the kid’s.
ii. Don’t invite friends.
2. Men we commit a great sin when we get, get and get and our wife does without.
a. Because we do not love her the way she deserves to be loved.
b. We are being selfish.
c. Love is described as one that can be trusted.
i. True Love is a mutual trust.
1. We ought to respect their judgment if we want them to respect ours.
2. We ought to trust the in all things if we want them to trust us in all things.
ii. Men, we can’t have it our way all the time.
1. We should listen to our wives and not always think we are right and they are wrong.
d. Love is described as not being irritable.
i. Point blank; if we are going to fly off the handle, we should give her the same privilege without getting irritable.
1. Men, we think we can be rude and cranky when things don’t go our way.
2. Yet let our wife get that way with us and we get down right angry.
ii. If we truly love our wife we should expect to take what we dish out.
e. Lastly – Love is described as one that endures.
i. It never, ever stops.
1. But grows stronger.
2. Grows more meaningful.
a. Day after day.
b. Year after year.
ii. Can you say that you love your wife more now than when you married her?
1. If you can’t I promise you that she didn’t do anything wrong.
2. You are not loving her the way God has told you too love her.
III. An example of true love.
a. Turn to Ephesians 5:25 and mark this verse
i. “Husbands, love your wives, just as also Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her”
1. Men here you have the perfect example of what your love should be for your wife.
b. Christ loves His Church (His Bride) and was willing to die for it.
i. Are you willing to lay down your live for your wife?
Conclusion:
There is a consequence if this is not followed. The husband’s prayers will be hindered. What peter is saying is that a husband who treats his wife in the wrong manner will himself be unfit and unable to pray. Men your spiritual health depends, in significant measure, on the way you treat your wife.
Last week I stated what the duties of a Christian wife should be. But men, if we don’t hold up our end we can’t expect them to hold up theirs. Show your wife that you truly love her. When we talk about being a lover the first thing we think about is sex. However; being a Christian lover requires that we express our love for our wife in ways that are non-sexual. Being there, supporting her, putting her ahead of our hobbies and likes. Men we should love our wife like Christ loves His Church – completely.
