DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES
Mother’s Day, May 8, 2005
Luke 15:8-19
Thesis: Desperate housewives (along with the rest of us) are searching for something to make their lives complete.
Wisteria. It’s the name of a twisting vine with beautiful blossoms. Wisteria is known for its ability to climb high; yet unless it is kept under control it can become something that is both beautiful and destructive. Unless regularly pruned this vine has the power to destroy brick walls, choke the life out of oak trees and ruin gardens.
Unless kept in check, wisteria will destroy anything that it clings to and all the while it is destroying and killing it will be blossoming as beautifully as ever. No uniformed passerby would even suspect that something so delightful could actually be so deadly.
Wisteria Lane is, therefore, the appropriate address of the provocative women of television’s new controversial nighttime soap opera, Desperate Housewives. The show’s web page describes the drama as “a darkly comedic look at suburbia, where the secret lives of housewives aren’t always what they seem.”
On Wisteria Lane the twists of deception, murder, lust, suicide, gossip, adultery, secret cover-ups, envy, blackmail, and addictions all exist carefully hidden behind the flowery masks of picture perfect people. Just like wisteria, they are pretty to look, but deadly and destructive. Jesus used another image to describe such people – white washed walls. The Jews would white wash the walls of tombs so that no one would accidentally touch one and become ceremonially unclean. The tombs looked nice and neat on the outside, but on the inside they were still filled with dead men’s rotting corpses. Looks can indeed be deceiving.
On Wisteria Lane no one is satisfied or fulfilled. Although everyone is searching for happiness it somehow seems to elude them every time. With each failed attempt at happiness these women grow even more desperate.
Henry David Thoreau once said, “The mass of men [and women] lead quiet lives of desperation.” That is the premise upon which this new drama is based. Unfortunately, it is much more that just a premise. It is a reality. When we take a hard look at society today we quickly realize that Desperate Housewives is not that far out there. Turn on the nightly news and you will find something more interesting that any reality TV show or any new nighttime soap. You will find stories of runaway brides, pregnant mothers murdered by their husbands, and mothers killing their own offspring – Desperate Housewives indeed. You will also hear about missing DA’s, celebrity trials, and child molester’s on the loose – desperate children, desperate men, desperate Hollywood heroes.
Everyone it seems is desperate for something. And we don’t seem to be doing any better than the women of Wisteria Lane at finding the solution. Why? Because we are looking for all the wrong things in all the wrong places.
I believe that God brought you here today so that He could begin to show you how to find real peace and joy in life. I believe that God brought you here today so that He could begin to show what to look for and where to look for it.
I want to talk to you today about…
What to do when you are feeling desperate:
1. Recognize the reason for your desperation.
In our text for today we find a desperate housewife.
8aSuppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one.
In this parable Jesus tells the story of an everyday woman who loses something. In this case what she lost was a silver coin. Now you need to understand that we are not talking about a nickel or a dime here. A drachma was a Greek coin approximately equivalent to the Roman denarius, worth about an average days’s wages. Furthermore the fact that she only has ten of them tells us that she has only a limited savings and now she has lost 10% of it. As far as we know this was all she had. Imagine how you would be feeling if you accidentally misplaced 10% of your total assets. Does the word “desperation” come to mind? I should think so!
How did this woman lose her coin? We are not told. Maybe she was careless and missed placed it. Maybe she was clumsy and dropped it. Maybe she was cautious and hid it away so well that she couldn’t find it herself. (We’ve all done that before haven’t we?) The point is that how she may have lost it is irrelevant.
The point is that she has lost it and she knows that she has lost it. And quite frankly that puts her ahead of the game when compared with many people today. Many people have lost it, but they don’t realize they have.
The woman just leaving the abortion clinic thinks she has exercised her freedom of choice, when in reality she has just lost her child and, I believe, a part of her soul in the process. But she doesn’t even know it yet.
The woman who has just filed for divorce thinks that she has just gained her independence, when in reality she has just lost not only her husband, but also a part of herself. For when a husband and wife are joined together they become one flesh. But she doesn’t even realize it.
I could go on and on this morning about things like this. The man who speaks derogatory remarks about someone of another race thinks he has exercised his freedom of speech. He doesn’t realize that he has lost a friend. The man who sues to have the Ten Commandments taken down or the words “In God We Trust” removed believes that he is exercising his right to freedom from religion. He doesn’t even realize that in doing so he is losing the moral foundation for our great country.
We are so busy exercising our many and varied rights that we don’t even realize all that we are losing in the process. And then we wonder why we aren’t happy – why we aren’t satisfied – why we have no peace of mind – no joy. Something is missing and we don’t even know it!
The first step toward a solution is to realize that something is missing and to recognized what that something is. It is not freedom of choice or freedom of religion or freedom of press or freedom of speech that is missing in our society today, but the freedom from sin. Why is it that no one seems more interested in exercising this freedom today?
Again the first step is to realize what is really missing because if you don’t know what is missing you won’t know what to look for. And if you don’t know what you are looking for how will you know when you’ve found it?
Are you looking for love in all the wrong places? The Bible says in John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
Are you searching for a father figure? God says in 2 Corinthians 6:18, “I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters.”
Are you searching for financial security? Jesus said in Matthew 6:20, “Store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.”
Are you trying to have it all? In Matthew 16:26 Jesus asked, “What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?” In The New Living Translation Galatians 4:7 says, “Now you are no longer a slave but God’s own child. And since you are His child, everything He has belongs to you.”
How do you discover what is really missing in life? First, take a look at what you think you want. Take a look at your dreams and ambitions and goals. And then ask yourself why. Why do I want this or that? Why do I want more and more possessions? Why do I want that person who is not my spouse? What you are doing is looking for the real reason behind your surface level desires. And when you discover it you will realize that it can only be fully satisfied in a relationship with God.
First, you need to discover what is really missing in your life. And then you need to…
2. Search for the solution to your desperation.
Let’s go back to the woman in the parable. What does she do once she realizes that her silver coin is missing? Jesus provides the answer with a rhetorical question.
8bDoes she not light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it?
Of course she does! Who wouldn’t once they realized what they were missing and how valuable it was?
Whether you are missing out on a relationship with God or there is something missing in your relationship with God, there are several keys in this verse that teach us how to search for what is missing.
§ Search Critically
The first thing that the woman does is to light a lamp in order to throw some light on the situation. That just makes sense, doesn’t it? If you want to shed some light on your situation, the first thing that you need to do is to expose yourself to the light of God’s word. The Psalmist said, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path” (119:105). The Word of God has the power to light up your life and to light up your way. Are you searching for direction? Do you wonder what it is that God wants you to be doing with your life? Are you unsure how you should respond in a particular situation? Get into God’s Word and allow it to light up your life.
Let me also give you a word of warning. I said this is searching critically because when we get into God’s Word it’s light will light up everything – the good, the bad and the ugly. Things that we would rather choose to ignore or pretend they don’t exists will be exposed. But we must be willing to examine ourselves critically in the light of God’s word.
The author of Hebrews wrote: “For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account” (4:12-13).
The Word of God is not something to play around with. It is only for those who are serious about examining themselves critically in the light His revelation. Are you prepared to examine yourself in this way? Are you prepared to have the thoughts and attitudes of your heart exposed? Search critically. I’m not necessarily saying that you have to be hard on yourself, but you must be prepared to be realistic about yourself.
Resist the temptation to be too easy on your self. That is the trap that we often times fall into. We are really hard on other people for their faults and sins, but we kind of soft-pedal our own by making excuses for ourselves or by telling ourselves that other people are worse.
Search critically.
§ Search Completely
Next we see that this woman swept the house. Do you suppose that she swept only certain parts of the house? No, I am sure that she swept every part of that house – every nook and cranny.
Are you prepared to search the whole of God’s word, not just your favorite parts? If you only read your favorite parts you will be missing out on many spiritual gems that are found in the other parts. You will also be eating a spiritually unbalanced diet. Just as an unbalanced diet can lead to health and physical problems so an unbalanced diet of God’s word will lead to spiritual health problems.
You must search completely. No part of your life is off limits and no part of God’s Word is overlooked.
Search Completely.
§ Search Carefully
Next she tells us that she searched carefully. This is important in any search. How many times have you hurriedly looked for something and you couldn’t find only to come back later and find it right where you had looked before? Why does that happen? It happens because although we made a complete search it was not a careful search and so some things got overlooked – some things went unnoticed.
To make a careful search means two things I believe. First it means that I need to slow down and take my time. You can’t be careful and be in a big hurry at the same time. I think this is one of the biggest problems that we have as a society. We know that something is wrong, but we never take the time to get to the heart of the matter. Consequently we end up treating the symptoms of the problem rather than the root cause.
It is one thing to know that you have a pain in your side and quite another thing to know what is causing the pain. If you simply treat the symptom (pain) by taking an aspirin, you may actually be making things worse because the longer the cause goes untreated the worse the condition may become. If you pulled a muscle, that requires one kind of treatment. But if you are having an appendicitis, that requires a radically different kind of treatment. In that case pain management alone, even if very effective, would actually be deadly.
§ Search Continuously
Next we see that the woman was persistent in her search. She didn’t give up when she didn’t find the coin right away. She kept searching until she found what she was looking for.
The truth is that God wants us to be persistent with Him. For example, Jesus said in Matthew 7:7, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” However, the Greek here is in the present imperative tense which means that it could be translated: “Keep on asking and it will be given to you; keep on seeking and you will find; keep on knocking and the door will be opened to you.” Jesus often taught the necessity of being persistent with God. He doesn’t find our persistence to be annoying. Quite the opposite – it shows God just how much we want Him and how much we know we need what only He has to offer us.
The second point I want to make about searching continuously is simply this: we never get to the point in life where we have fully arrived. We never get to the point where don’t need more of God and more of His grace and more of His goodness.
Even the apostle Paul said, “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me… I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do…I press on toward the goal…” (Philippians 3:12-14).
The apostle Paul was at a level of spirituality that most of us will only dream of achieving and yet he was continuously searching for more in his relationship with God. In fact that was his secret in attaining and accomplishing so much. He never allowed himself to get content with where he was at. He sought continuously to have more of God in his life. He sought continuously to be more like Christ. The problem with many today is that they are too easily satisfied spiritually. We are content in the knowledge that we are saved – that our sins are forgiven. But there is so much more that God has in store. However, we will never find it if we are not persistent in our pursuit.
Search Continuously.
§ Search Confidently
After searching critically, completely, carefully and continuously the woman eventually finds what she is looking for – her lost silver coin. The point that Jesus is making here is that if we too will search as this woman searched we can be confident that we too will find what we are looking for.
Let me ask you a question. Are you searching in fear? Or are you searching in faith? Are you searching with desperation? Or are you searching with expectation?
In Matthew 5:6 Jesus said, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.” Again Jesus said, “For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks find; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened” (Matthew 7:8). We can search with confidence and expectation because Jesus says that we “will be filled” and that “the door will be opened.” Not might be or could be, but will be.
When we have that kind of assurance on the front end it makes all the difference in the world. This is what separates the true believer from the rest of the world. We have hope and we have faith and we have the confidence to face another day with its dangers and difficulties. We have the courage to own up to our weakness because we know that we will be filled with His power. We have the guts to admit our sins because we know that we will be filled with His holiness. We have the nerve to admit our foolishness because we know that we will be filled with His wisdom.
It is as Jesus said, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).
Search for the solution critically, completely, carefully, continously and confidently. Then...
3. Communicate the cure for your desperation.
Now that the woman has found her coin, what does she do?
9And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.’
The first thing that she thinks of after she has found her lost coin is to share the good news with her friends and neighbors. How many people today do just the opposite? How many people hoard what they have and keep it to themselves?
There are so many people on our prayer list today that have cancer it is not even funny. If you had the cure for cancer, would you have to think about whether or not to tell these people about it? No! Of course not! And yet there are people all around you – your friends and neighbors – who are dying because a spiritual cancer is literally eating away at their souls. And you know the cure, but you don’t communicate that cure to others.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ…who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”
That verse tells us that God intentionally allows us to go through some hard times so that we will turn to Him for help and so that we can then pass on to others the help that we have received from Him. You need to ask yourself: Am I a dam – damming up the blessing of God into my own personal reservoir? Or am I a channel – allowing the blessing of God to flow freely through my life and into the lives of others.
Maybe it is no coincident that a dam is called a dam – because it is a damning thing to keep the good news from those who so desperately need it. It is a damning thing to hoard the grace of God to yourself – to keep spiritual truth from your fellow believer.
1 Peter 4:10 in The Message says, “Be generous with the different things God gave you, passing them around so all get in on it.” Are you passing around what you have learned so that everyone can get in on it? Remember that someone passed it on to you so that you could get in on it. Don’t be the weak link. Don’t break the chain.
Conclusion:
1. Recognize the reason.
2. Search for the solution.
3. Communicate the cure.
Why?
Because the world today is full of desperate people – housewives and otherwise – and they are waiting for someone just like you to offer them hope. The word desperate comes from the Latin sperare, meaning “to hope.” However the prefix “de” indicates that there is a diminishment of hope – even the absence of hope. In other words, desperate people are hopeless people. Not hopeless in the sense that there is no hope for them, but hopeless in the sense that they have no hope in their hearts – they have lost hope.
Hope is so important. It was hope that enabled Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. to strive for civil rights. He had the hope in his heart of a future in which his children would not be judged by “the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.”
Hope is what kept Archbishop Desmond Tutu fighting against apartheid or racial segregation in South Africa. In his book, God Has a Dream: A Vision of Hope for Our Time, he writes that all the “objective facts were against us – the passes laws, the imprisonments, the tear-gassing, the massacres, the murder of political activists – but my confidence was not in the present circumstances but in the laws of God’s universe.”
That is hope. And it is precisely that hope that encourages us, nurtures us, and empowers us to keep on living faithfully for God another day.
Sources:
Homiletics. “Wisteria.” May-June 2005, 16-20.
www.abc.go.com/primetime/desperate
Please email me if you use this message or an adaptation of it. Thank you!
steveamanda8297@hotmail.com
