Learning to Pray, part 7 of 7
Wildwind Community Church
David Flowers
March 6, 2005
[Note to SermonCentral readers: This sermon is based on results of a temperament inventory our people took. If you are interested you can take the inventory online at http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp. It is free. Finally, the point here wasn’t to replace God’s word with psychology - the point was to free people to pray in their own ways, using the examples of people of faith in the Bible who each related to God according to their own unique personalities. This was a teaching message that pointed to the examples of Biblical people, but did not explore specific passages.]
We’re going to wrap up our series on prayer today, not because we have said everything there is to be said on it (not even close) but frankly because it’s just a few more weeks until Easter and I want to start taking us in that direction. We can, and will need to, revisit this prayer thing again later on. I can’t say exactly when, but probably a year from now.
I’m going to finish this series today with an approach to prayer many, perhaps most, of you have not really heard of before. Today’s message is called Finding Your Prayer Path: Praying in a way that fits who you are. Ever thought of that before? Has it ever occurred to you that simply because you are you, certain ways of praying will probably come more naturally for you than other ways?
My guess is that this is news to most of you. In fact many people struggle constantly under a burden of guilt because they have tried and tried and tried to pray in the ways that have been taught and have never been able to bring themselves to stick with it. They are beginning to question if maybe they are never going to have an active and effective life of prayer because they just can’t seem to pull it together. Today I want to float to you the exciting possibility that there are certain ways of praying right now, at this moment, that will come more naturally for you than others and that if you can find those ways of praying that are most natural for you, you will experience productivity in prayer you never imagined before.
Now as we look at temperament as it relates to prayer, I will be using information and research done on temperament mostly in the 20th century, but it’s important that you not think that we’re trying to dig up some new approach to spirituality that no one ever thought of before. That could not be less true. It was around 425 B.C. that Hippocrates, the Father of Medical Science, divided personality into four basic temperaments. His theory was that differences in personality were caused by an imbalance in secretions that came from the heart, liver, lungs, and kidneys. He designated the four temperaments after these secretions:
1. Sanguine – Blood from the heart
2. Choleric – Yellow bile from the liver
3. Phlegmatic – Phlegm from the lungs
4. Melancholic – Black bile from the kidneys
Now 425 B.C. was a long time ago, and it’s amazing that that long ago someone recognized that people differ in their basic perceptions of and approaches to life.
Some of you have probably heard of those temperaments. Now for the sake of time I’m going to skip over a couple thousand years of advancements in personality theory, right up to the development of the Myers-Briggs Type Inventory – a tool developed by Isabel Myers and Katherine Briggs in the 1940’s and based on the temperament research of psychiatrist Carl Jung. The MBTI, as it’s called, is still one of the leading personality profiles in use by professionals today, and has more scientific research behind it than any other personality assessment tool. The MBTI evaluates individuals through a series of items on a questionnaire and tabulates responses, with final results assigning each individual a letter along each of four dimensions.
According to the MBTI, introversion means that a person is energized more by their own thoughts and things going on inside them than by the outside world. An extravert, then, would be a person who draws energy primarily from the outside world rather than from their inner world. Not all introverts are shy. On the Myers-Briggs, introverts are people who may function very well around others, but they are quickly exhausted and drained by people, and have to get alone for a while to refresh. How many of you are thinking right now, “Man, that’s me.” Introverts very well MAY be shy, but not necessarily. Extraverts are people who get to a party and say, “Let’s go,” and they’re lit the rest of the night. Being alone drains them – they need others around to stay energized. Any of you like that?
N stands for Intuition. A person who would be an N on the Myers-Briggs is someone who relies a great deal on internal hunches to make decisions about the outside world. N’s seem to know things without really having any reason for knowing them. They just know. That means that those of you who are S’s just don’t understand N’s. S’s rely on their senses. If they haven’t heard it, seen it, smelled it, tasted it, or touched it, they are likely to have a hard time drawing a conclusion. Generally they’re not much for hunches. Hard-core S’s may not get hunches very often, and those who are not quite as hard-core will sometimes get hunches but not be comfortable trusting them.
T’s are thinkers. When making a decision, T’s look at the facts and then draw a conclusion based on where the facts point. F’s are feelers. F’s go, “Well, I know this is what the facts say, but if we do this it might hurt so-and-so’s feelings.” T’s tend to see the world in terms of facts and figures – F’s tend to see the world in terms of relationships and emotions.
Finally, J’s are judgers. Now don’t get caught up in a theological understanding of this. Don’t say it’s wrong to judge others therefore people with a J personality are bad people. All judging means in this context is that a person likes making decisions. P’s on the other hand are perceivers. They like to hold off decisions, and keep all their options open. P’s often marry J’s and you end up with funny things happening, like a J husband says to his P wife, “Where would you like to go for dinner?” His wife says, “I don’t know honey, why don’t you decide?” So the Judging husband, who just wants to make a decision and be done with it, decides on a place and drives there. As soon as he pulls in the parking lot, his perceiving wife goes, “Oooh – this place, huh?” He says, “Yeah, is that okay?” She says, “Well, I was just thinking seafood sounds kind of good.” He’s already getting frustrated and says, “Why didn’t you say so in the first place?” Of course the reason for that is because his wife is a perceiver. She really doesn’t know for sure what she wants to do until she’s presented with something – then she can decide if she likes what she’s presented with. So they go to the seafood place. Within two minutes of being sat down, the J husband knows what he wants to order. Ten minutes later the waiter comes to take their order and the P wife hasn’t even picked up the menu yet –she’s too busy perceiving – looking at people, checking out the decorating, listening to the conversations around her. The husband asks for another five minutes. His wife sits in mortal agony, unable to decide what to order. The waiter appears again and she says to her husband, “Go ahead and order, honey.” He places his order. The waiter looks at the wife. She breaks out in a cold sweat. She hems and haws and asks a dozen questions about everything on the menu. After all her deliberation she closes her eyes and lands her finger on an item on the menu and says, “I’ll take that.”
Twenty minutes later the waiter brings the food out and sets each plate in front of its respective orderer. J-husband digs in and begins eating. P-wife takes a bite but keeps staring at his plate. He asks “What’s up?” She says, “That just looks really, really good.” He says, “Would you like a bite?” Five minutes later they have switched plates entirely and she is happily eating his meal and he is willingly eating hers.
Been there, folks? And by the way, I have made the woman the Perceiver here but this is not a gender thing. Men can be perceivers too. The thing to realize is that perceivers prefer to put off decisions until the last possible minute, and judgers want to decide and get on with it.
Okay, now there are our few moments of psychology lessons. Now I need to be clear here that the great saints throughout history did not pray in different ways because they studied Hippocrates or Jung or Myers and realized they OUGHT to. They simply prayed according to how they felt most connected to God, and that is the exclusive goal of today’s message – to bring you to the point where you are able to identify and pray according to how you most fully connect to God. Though those early saints did not study personality theory, many of them learned how to pray under the direction of spiritual advisors, who passed ancient wisdom down to them, and it has always been accepted in the Christian tradition that our personality influences the way we relate to God. Indeed you can read through the Bible and see how various personalities related to God differently.
Peter was bold and outgoing. He talked a lot, which is probably a reason why the Bible records Peter saying so many stupid things. Paul was deep and complicated – analytical and insightful – and thanks to that fact we have 1/2 of our New Testament books that were written by him – our finest and clearest theology. David was emotional – a man of deep feeling who loved music and literature and because of his temperament – his personality – we have the book of Psalms. The Psalms, most of them written by David, were originally poems set to music and sung with a harp or an ancient type of guitar. They are passionate, forceful, exhilarating, and sometimes fearful or depressing. David’s son Solomon was a person of deep wisdom – a philosopher whose quests for wisdom are recorded in his Biblical books of Proverbs and Ecclesiastes.
Each of these people was unique – each had their own personality – their own God-given temperament. And the primary contributions of each flowed naturally from their own temperament. They naturally gravitated toward expressing themselves to God in ways that were consistent with how God had made them. In 21st century America however, we do not naturally gravitate toward this. See the reason I need to take time to explain temperament to you today is because of something unfortunate that happened in the church in the past thousand years that still affects the way we think of prayer today. Now I don’t want to get too academic here lest I find that the only person who really cares about this sermon is me, but I need to give you a context, a place to file this sermon mentally.
Through the centuries four main approaches to prayer emerged. Augustinian prayer, named for St. Augustine. Ignatian prayer, named for St. Ignatius. Franciscan prayer, named for St. Francis of Assisi, and Thomistic prayer, named for St. Thomas Aquinas. It so happens that St. Augustine had what we today would call an NF temperament – he was an intuitive feeler. He felt things deeply and was moved to imagine and dream about moral and spiritual perfection. About 12% of you in this room this morning are of the NF temperament. Ignatius had an SJ temperament – he was a sensing judger. He came up with methods and systems for exploring spirituality because he felt a strong need to make it real – to bring it down to earth. Nearly 50% of you here this morning probably have the SJ temperament. Francis was of the SP type, a sensing perceiver – he was what today we might call a bit of a tree-hugger – nature moved him to think about God. Thomas Aquinas had the NT temperament - he was an Intuitive thinker – the philosopher in the bunch. Now I don’t have time this morning to explain all the complexities of each personality type, but I hope you received my email Friday or Saturday and went to that website and took the quick assessment and have come here today with some knowledge of what your type might be. If you did not, you might be able to make some guesses based on how I have already explained each dimension. If you did come with your own profile in hand, you need to see which of these basic types you are. If, for example, your four letters are ESTJ, then you are an SJ type. If you are an INTP, then you are an NT type. Let me give you the four basic types again, because you need to identify where you are:
Look at your own four letters and look for any two of the above letter groups and identify your basic type. Again if you did not do the assessment this week, or if you are new today, I encourage you to take the assessment this week, then listen to this message online this week because in these last few moments my objective is to set you free to pray in the way that will most likely connect with your own God-given personality. If you are able to find that prayer path chances are better that you will find prayer to be rewarding and not as exhausting, something that really fits your life. After all, the great men and women of the Bible, as well as these great saints we mentioned earlier, simply prayed in whatever ways seemed natural for them. That’s all I’m asking you to be willing to learn and do as well.
Remember earlier I told you how something unfortunate happened in the church that still affects the way we think about prayer today? Well what happened is that even though these four monks came up with these four very different approaches to prayer, it just so happened that the vast majority of pastors and teachers through the centuries have been of the NF temperament. What that means is that Augustinian prayer methods have been heralded as THE way to pray by most pastors and teachers for a thousand years, because they have taught the way that works best for THEM. The problem with that is that although most pastors and teachers are NF’s, only 12% of the population in general is NF. See where I’m going with this? The message becomes: Pray this way. And since that doesn’t resonate with who most people are, when they can’t pray that way they feel guilty because every pastor they’ve ever heard teaching about prayer has come from this Augustinian perspective.
So let’s start there because it’s the one you may have heard taught or read about a dozen times. It involves reading a Bible passage, thinking carefully about it, trying to feel or discover its personal meaning and application for us today (I’m an NF – notice I preach this way all the time), and to discover its underlying meaning. This is often aided with journals because NF’s tend to be fluent with language, both written and verbal. NF’s are the ones who always assume there is hidden meaning in things and what is totally unacceptable for most NF’s is the idea that this physical world with its mundane routines is all there is. If you’re here today and you’re NF, I probably don’t have much that’s new to say to you, because most sermons and books on prayer are directed to you already. Listen attentively to what God says in the words of scripture; read between the lines and try to discern the deeper meaning; reflect prayerfully and try to apply those insights to your current situation; respond to God’s word with appropriate personal feelings and dialogue with him. Then remain quiet and still for a period of time to wait for your Intuitive function to bring forth any new/additional insights. That is Augustinian – NF – prayer. It’s the one many or most of you have been failing at doing for most of your lives because it does not resonate with who you are. So let’s move on to the other types.
Ignatian prayer is for SJ types. As I said earlier, an average church congregation is composed of about 50% SJ’s, and the difficulty of releasing you to pray as you might be most effective is that SJ’s tend to identify with authority. They naturally defer to the religious teachers who have likely taught them to pray in ways they may not be entirely comfortable with. SJ’s are traditionalists by nature. So what I have to say to you this morning, if you apply it, may not feel entirely comfortable at first, but I have read that SJ’s, if they just try this a few times, quickly take to it like a duck to water. You ready? It simply involves bringing all your senses into your prayer, into your reading of scripture. That would involve reading a passage of scripture and imagining what the wood of the cross would feel like, what the vinegar they tried to feed Jesus would taste like, what the fishing docks would smell like, what the temple or marketplace would sound like, what the raising of Lazarus from the dead would look like – trying to make this as real as possible. Involving all your senses. SJ’s are practical people. Place yourself in the scenes you are reading about – imagine yourself as yourself – with your modern clothes just as you are now, only transported back to that time of Christ. Try putting yourself in the place of those who were brought to Jesus to be healed. Instead of thinking physical ailments, think of yourself as spiritually blind, spiritually paralyzed, covered with the leprosy of sin, or whatever. The more you involve your five senses in prayer and Bible reading, through your imagination, the more real this will become to you and the more you will connect to God. Give it a try, SJ’s – try it for a few days and see if it doesn’t resonate with you.
Next is the Franciscan type – the SP’s – the sensing perceivers. SP’s live in the present. They waste little time regretting the past or fearing the future. SP’s more than any other type, can claim that their work is their prayer. They are energized spiritually through action. They like to keep moving. If there is a problem to be solved, a crisis to be fixed, a fray to be entered, an argument to be reconciled, they are energetic and actually able to experience God’s presence as they take on the issues they confront. They can connect meaningfully with God by staring at a flower, sitting by a river, listening to a guitar or flute. They have a strong appreciation of beauty. They tend to dislike formal times of prayer and prefer free-flowing, informal communication with God. They become frustrated when forced to follow a strict spiritual routine. They like to see results quickly so short-term tasks and projects that quickly yield benefits tend to energize them and help them feel like their service is valuable. They like to work with their hands, and with tools. They are craftsmen, sculptors, painters. They tend to enjoy gardening and other physical activities as ways to relax. They connect with God in prayer by singing, or painting something, or anything else that involves movement, action, and the senses. They may find that short prayers like the Jesus prayer – “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner,” can keep them joyful and thoroughly focused on God through the whole day. The whole of God’s creation is a Bible for many SP’s. It is suggested still that they try to give at least some small amount of time every day to formal prayer, which can provide motivation and inspiration to keep them thinking about God throughout the rest of the day.
Finally come the NT’s. NF’s and NT’s – you’re rare. About ¾ of all people are either SJ or SP. About 12% are NT’s, 12% are NF’s. Ever wonder why you feel misunderstood, NF’s and NT’s? Now you know why. It’s because you ARE misunderstood! And you can’t even really take comfort, NT’s and NF’s, in the company of each other, because NF’s don’t usually get NT’s, and NT’s rarely get NF’s, so generally it’s a great big world that sometimes feels pretty lonely when you’re an NT or NF. And every NT and NF in this room probably just thought, “You’re not kidding.”
Now NT’s are not the only temperament who thinks, just like NF’s aren’t the only temperament who feels – but NT’s are unique because they think intuitively. Remember how we define intuition according to Myers-Briggs. Intuition is big-picture thinking – it’s understanding the meaning behind something without necessarily knowing how you came to understand it. So Intuitive Thinking often takes the form of grasping things – things just making sense – or at least having the NEED to grasp things and for things to make sense. NT’s tend to want to master and excel in whatever they attempt, be it academics, business, or holiness. NT’s set goals for themselves and systematically and ruthlessly work toward accomplishment of those goals. Once they set the pursuit of God as a goal, they are willing to exert superhuman effort and energy to attain that goal. And it takes time for them to learn to understand that most people simply do not have that goal.
Prayer suggestions. NT’s as you pursue God in accordance with your God-given temperament, you must obviously employ your mind. A proven way to do this is in the way established by St. Thomas Aquinas and is called Thomistic prayer. You take a virtue or a fault or spiritual truth and “walk around it” mentally, studying it from every possible angle. Let me give you a quick example and then we’ll move on to other things today.
You might consider using what are called the seven auxiliary questions: What? Why? How? Who? Where? When? With what aids? and applying each to whatever topic you select. So let’s say you’re thinking about the virtue of faith. You might work through the questions this way:
1. What do we mean by faith, what does its practice look like, and what are the reasons for pursuing it?
2. Why should I have faith? What is its value?
3. How might I practice faith for myself?
4/5. When and where should I do this?
6. Who are people in the Bible and in history who are examples of the practice of faith?
7. What aids can I use to help me in the practice of faith?
In order for you to benefit from this the whole thing would conclude with a few resolutions of how you are going to practice the virtue of faith in your own life. Now some of you S’s out there are thinking, “My gosh, that sounds exhausting,” but that’s what’s so cool about temperament. To most NT’s, this is exhilarating. So NT’s, go for it.
Finally, I want to give you another book suggestion for those of you who have really been intrigued (and perhaps liberated) by some of this stuff.
[Project "Finding Your Prayer Personality," by Ruth Fowke]
This book is full of useful information about your temperament and how to connect with God in the way that is most natural for you. It’s probably the quickest, easiest read of any book I have ever recommended to you.
Folks, we could do a 15 week series just on prayer and temperament. But why bother with that now? I have given each of the four temperaments some ways to approach prayer that are unique to their own personalities and temperaments. Chances are some of you have heard some way to approach prayer that you might not have considered.
Now don’t be boxed in by anything I have said. If you try something I suggest and it doesn’t work for you, let it go. Find your own way to connect to God. Keep looking for books or tapes or people who can coach you. Keep asking God to show you how best to connect with him. Realize your temperament does not dictate who you are – those letters in your temperament are only there because you yourself responded to assessment items in a certain way. If you don’t think the description you read online of your temperament sounds like you, perhaps it’s not. Read other descriptions and see what fits you best – ask those who know you.
Finally, it’s up to you to actually DO this stuff. There’s nothing I can do to make you put any of this into practice, but I have equipped you to better understand yourself and how you might best connect to God. Most important, I want to encourage you to pray – however you best can. Take what you have heard in these past weeks and form a new way of life around it. Because the bottom line for all of us is the call God has given to each of us to come to know Him, to learn to follow him. How will you respond to that call?
