‘Walking with the Black Dog’
Introduction
’Black dog’ was the term Winston Churchill coined for depression - his own depression. For his depression was like a Black Dog that cast an ever present shadow over his life.
That anxiety, that depression, that ever present shadow, like Winston Churchill’s ’Black Dog’, is something many of us know. And like a dog, that depression is something that many of us take for quite a long walk with us through our lives.
So this evening I hope we will be able to spend some time thinking together about walking with the black dog.
Some of you may have had the opportunity to see the short film on BBC TV over Easter called ‘Mr Harvey Lights a Candle’. It spoke very clearly about the problems and realities of depression. The central character, Mr Harvey, is a schoolteacher, and is known by his pupils as ‘Mr Happy’ (because he is anything but) or alternatively ‘The Incredible Sulk’. As the film progresses, we slowly discover that Mr Harvey’s unhappiness has its foundations twenty one years earlier, when his wife died after less than a year of marriage. But in the film, we also come to face-to-face with the deep depression affecting one of Mr Harvey’s pupils, a young girl called Helen. Towards the end of the film, we see the two of them talking somewhere in the recesses of Salisbury Cathedral. During this, Helen says that she wishes she could die.
I do not know how many people who suffer from depression actually feel as bad as that. I don’t know how many people really feel suicidal, but I know from my own experience that deep sense of hopelessness and despair that can sap your energy, your enthusiasm, your vitality.
I think that sometimes there is an unrealistic expectation that in some magical way, Christians do not get depressed. That all we do is smile and exude great happiness. The fact is that God’s people do get depressed. Difficult times came to many in the Bible, and we’re going to have a Bible reading now that illustrates that point.
· Reading 1 Kings 19 :4-12
* Walking with the black dog happens to us all
I am told that there is a regular community of dog walkers. People who walk their dogs often see the same people at the same time every day and build up relationships and friendships. However, when you walking with the black dog of depression, it is a time to feel very much on your own. It can often be a very solitary walk. You can get that sense of aloneness in Elijah’s words and thoughts and feelings.
One of the greatest things that somebody said to me when I first began to experience depression was that he had experienced similar things too. All of a sudden, I didn’t feel quite so alone. And what I came to realise was that walking with the black dog of depression is something that happens to an awful lot of people. It may be that it actually happens to us all in some way. The experience of depression is part of the human condition. Now it’s quite clear that the degree of depression that people experience varies enormously. What for you might be just a bad day, can knock another person completely sideways. I’m not a doctor, but it seems to be that people’s susceptibility to depression comes from a number of causes. Clearly some people have a biological susceptibility to depression. Some depression is clearly caused by particular situations. And those situations and biological causes are very variable. But walking with the black dog happens to us all.
Indeed experiencing depression puts you in very good company. I mentioned Winston Churchill earlier. The great preacher C. H. Spurgeon stunned five thousand listeners when from the one Sunday he announced, "I am the subject of depressions of spirit so fearful that I hope none of you ever gets to such extremes of wretchedness as I go to." The great reformer, Martin Luther was subject to such fits of darkness that he would hide himself away for days, and his family would remove all dangerous implements from the house for fear he would harm himself.
And because the black dog of depression comes to us all in some way, you are not alone. There are people around who have experienced the dark times of life. There are people around who can understand what it is you are going through.
There are people around you who have walked with the lack dog as you do. You are not alone.
And because the black dog of depression has all sorts of causes, and affects people in many ways, it is important to say that if you are feeling depressed, there is no need to feel that you are a failure, or to feel guilty, or to feel that you are in some way being punished.
Walking with the black dog of depression is something that can happen to us all. You are not alone.
* Walking with the black dog can be dreadful
But just because the black dog of depression comes to walk with us all at some time or other, that doesn’t mean that it isn’t serious. Depression can be totally dreadful. In our reading, we saw that Elijah laid down under a tree hoping to die. And we saw that terrible despair in Helen in that film clip earlier.
Thankfully, most of us do not experience that depth of depression and despair. But just because we have not experienced it does not mean that it does not happen, and does not mean that depression cannot be very devastating and debilitating. But if you feel that way, there are people who have experienced the depths of despair that come with depression, who can understand.
But it may be that you have not experienced much in the way of depression. It may be that the closest you have come to depression is observing it in someone else. And if that is you, I want to make it very clear to you that you need to understand how truly dreadful it can be. And because depression is a medical condition it is truly wrong and completely unhelpful to suggest that somebody who is suffering from depression should simply snap out of it or pull themselves together. Don’t ever say or even suggest anything like that.
For in the devastation and depths of depression, what is needed is loving and understanding friends. Friends who simply accept you as you are. Friends who don’t ask too many questions. Friends who are practical. Just think about the angel who came to Elijah. He didn’t give Elijah a lecture or give some pious explanation of why Elijah felt as he did. But the angel touched him, and gave him food. The depressed person does not need to be interrogated or lectured. But when you are so depressed that you cannot get out of your chair, you need someone who will give you food, or take the children to school or do the shopping. You someone who will lend you their strength when you have none. You need someone who happy to sit in silence with you. You need someone who will simply touch you, who will give you a hug, and let you know that you are loved and accepted as you are.
* Walking with the black dog can bring us close to God
In the film I mentioned earlier, Mr Harvey responds to Helens wish to die by saying that we find God in the ‘dirt and the blood’ of life.
It is perhaps a paradox, but in the depths of depression, one can very much come close to God. Perhaps it’s the other way round, as Mr Harvey suggests. It is in the blood and dirt of life, it is in the depths of depression, that God comes close to us. However it happens, walking with the black dog can be a time that brings us very close to God.
This is certainly what Elijah found. For it was from the depths of his depression that he had a most intense experience of God.
For it is when all around seems so hopeless that, consciously or unconsciously, we cut through all the distractions and reach out to the only person on whom we can depend. We reach out to God. We may not even be aware that we are reaching out to God in this way. Romans 8:26 says that the ‘Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness’ because there are times simply don’t have the words to pray,’ but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with sighs too deep for words’. When I was very ill five years ago, it seemed as though I simply sat in a chair for months at a time. I found it very difficult to concentrate for any length of time. But I managed to read verses from the Bible, and particularly from the Psalms. These speak so much of the highs and lows of life. And they speak very much of the dependability, the steadfast love of God. They speak of the trustworthiness of God. And they speak of God’s actions in caring for his people. And in that time I came close to God in a way that has been so important to me. In that dreadful time, I learnt to truly trust God.
And so it is that walking with the black dog of depression can bring us close to God in a way that we’ve perhaps never experienced before. So if you are in that situation of blackness, of darkness, of depression, reach out to God. Your ability to reach out may be limited. You may be struggling to find words to express your feelings. Maybe a deep sigh is all you can manage. Simply reach out in whatever way you can. And as you reach out to him you will find him already reaching down to you in love and tenderness. Allow him to embrace you. Allow yourself to come close to him. Allow nothing else to get in the way.
* Walking with the black dog is not the end
One of the difficulties with the darkness of depression is that, even when you feel close to God, it can be difficult to ever imagine the darkness going away. And because the darkness of depression for some people can be very debilitating it sometimes feels as if the experience of depression is all there is to life.
You may not be aware that there is an organisation called the Black Dog Institute, and its name and logo refers to Churchills expression. The logo is Churchill’s famous victory sign that, enigmatically, casts the shadow of a black dog. And this seems to me to be a reminder that great things can come out of dark times. Walking with the black dog of depression is not the end. In the goodness of God, depression can be the source and start of great things.
I think the cave that Elijah went into, in our reading, is a pretty good symbol of that sense of having reached a dead-end, and a dark one at that. But, as Elijah entered that cave in depression and darkness of spirit, he found that God was saying things that he had not expected. Elijah had focused in on himself. His view had become limited. His view had become cavelike. But as he began to spend time with God, as he began to get close to God, in darkness perhaps, in silence and alone, things began to change. We don’t know how long Elijah was there. But in the time that Elijah was in that cave, things began to change. He began to really listen and hear and to get God’s perspective on the situation. You see, Elijah’s view was that he was a failure. But God’s view is quite different. God’s perspective is the right perspective. God did not see Elijah as a failure. God knew the potential that Elijah had. God knew that Elijah’s depression was not failure but part of Elijah’s humanity. God knew that Elijahs depression wasn’t the end of the line for Elijahs ministry, but could be a source of strength. And with God’s view of the situation, with God’s view of his depression, Elijah could move on. God tells Elijah what his plans are. We see in vv15-18 that Elijah is to anoint Kings that God has chosen. He is to anoint a new prophet to continue speaking God’s word into the situation. These are not the actions of a failure. This is not the work of someone in a dead-end. But this is God using Elijah, and using Elijah’s depression as a source of strength as God and Elijah come close together.
And I believe that the same principle is applied to us. Like Elijah, we can find ourselves in a cave. But if in that cave we find ourselves closer to God, the cave is not a dead-end, the cave is not a place of failure. Indeed, if in our dark times we come close to God, the cave can be a source of strength, the cave can be the beginning and not the end.
Walking with the black dog of depression is not the end. Churchill’s depression did not stop him becoming one of the greatest leaders of this country. Spurgeon’s depression did not stop him speaking Gods word as one of the most powerful preachers of his time. Martin Luther’s depression did not stop his work as a great reformer of the church.
If you are suffering from depression now, you may feel yourself to be in a cave, a dark place, a dead-end. I can tell you that I know how you feel. But I can also tell you that it is not the end. My own depression was not, and is not, the end. But God has used it for me and for others. I don’t know what it is that God will do with your depression, with your dark times. But I do know, I am certain that God can use the black dog of your depression for good things, for great things.
* Conclusion
The black dog of depression does come to us all in one way or another. Fortunately for a great many people it comes and goes. For some, the black dog of depression walks with them for a great part of their lives. And for some, those times are truly dreadful. And if that is your situation the moment, I want to tell you that I do know how you feel. And there are others around you who have an idea of what it’s like. You are not alone in your suffering, you are not alone in your darkness.
But I also want to tell you that God comes close to us in the darkness, in the dreadfulness, in the dark dead-end caves of our lives. It is very tempting to enter the cave and to curl up and stay there. But God is already there in the darkness. We may not have the words to speak to him, we may not have the strength to reach out to him in any but the most hesitant way. But in the darkness God is there, God comes close to us and we can come close to him in a very special and deep way. And as we come close to him we become aware of his unshakeable love for us, his love that never lets us go. And in his steadfast love, God does not see us as a failure, but sees our potential and desires our potential to be put to use. In his steadfast love, God sees us in our depression not the end, but the beginning of new and great things.
At the end of the film we saw part of earlier, Mr Harvey is seen lighting a candle in Salisbury Cathedral. It’s not a symbol that everything is suddenly alright. But for him, it is a step on the way forward. Because one of the things that he does is to leave a picture of his wife, and a badly damaged picture at that, by the candle. And it is not a symbol that everything is suddenly alright. But rather, the lighting of the candle is seen as a sign of hope, a sign of his realisation that depression is not the end.
So I want to light a candle, just as Mr Harvey did. I haven’t got a battered photograph to put in front of it, and I don’t suppose any of you brought one either. However, there may be things that are in your mind, in your heart, or in your life that you need to place in front of this candle. There may be things that you need to place in front of this candle as a sign of hope, as a sign of light at the end of the dark tunnel. Or it may be that there is some person, who you know is walking with the black dog at the moment, that you need to bring to God in a particular way this evening.
And as I light this candle, let us spend some time in quietness and prayer.
(if you can get a copy of the film, there are several clips which could be used in this sermon to illustrate some of the points)
