Last week we looked at the 2 Timothy 3:16-17 and we learned how there are four building blocks to growing children into Godly men and women.
Indeed – what we learned is that these four building blocks are the necessary steps for our own selves becoming Godly men and women.
Today we are going to narrow our focus onto one precept and look at how we can craft a contented family.
Minister Dave Gable tells the story of Jill, their 6-year-old, who was “helping” him in the front yard of the parsonage. She chattered away about her Sunday school lesson on Adam and Eve. Dave thought he’d test her. “Did you know Adam and Eve sinned?” “Yep.” “What did God do to them as a punishment?” Her answer was immediate and matter-of-fact, without even looking up she said: “He made them have kids.”
Children are not punishment!
Some of you are returning from spring break trips with the family and you may disagree with me. It’s not always easy being trapped in a mini-van with the constantly recurring question, “Are we there yet?”, the fighting over where to stop and eat; and the poking one another battles that go on throughout the trip, the constant whining – and that’s your mate! Then there are the kids!
Today we look the precept of contentment
The Disease of Discontent
The precept of contentment is difficult for all of us – not just for those raising children. We live in a world that emphasizes discontent. Think about all of the commercials we are constantly exposed to. They are everywhere!
• I stopped at a gas station a while back and there was a speaker on the pump handle with an advertisement playing over it.
• TIVO is experimenting with flashing commercials on the TV screen while you fast forward through the broadcast commercials.
• While you are waiting for the movie to start – they are shooting local advertisements at you.
• Recently, I heard about a guy that rented out his forehead. He put his forehead on E-Bay and rented it for 30 days – and got paid – get this - $37,375.00.
There is no escape. We are surrounded and steeped in commercials proclaiming that we simply must have what they are offering us – for a small price. And our kids are prime targets who like us have become diseased with the cancer of discontent.
God spoke directly to this in the 10th commandment when he said, “Do not covet.”
The 10th Commandment: "Do not Covet."
“It is fitting that this is the last rule because it brings us to the climax of living, which is contentment.”
Charles L. Allen
Lazarus or the Rich Man – A Sunday School teacher told her class of 2nd graders the story found in Luke 16 of the Rich man and Lazarus. How that when they were here upon the earth the rich man had everything that money could buy and poor Lazarus had to beg for mere crumbs. But when they died, the rich man due to his selfishness went to a place of horrible torment while Lazarus went to a place of paradise. In conclusion, the teacher asked her students the question: "Now, which man would you rather be, Lazarus or the rich man?" One little boy’s hand shot up immediately and he said, "Well, while I’m alive I want to live like the rich man, but when I die I want to be like Lazarus."
Many people truly believe that the more you have the happier you’ll be. But God has a different idea. He insists that having things does not now nor ever will provide contentment. Instead, God would say to us "Please put less emphasis on external possessions and more emphasis on internal and eternal contentment.”
This commandment focus’ directly on our attitude, it gets to the source of the problem: the heart.
And this 10th commandment is so important for our families. With all the dissatisfaction we see in marriages, with all the financial pressure many of our families are under, we need to look closely at God’s plan and see what provides true fulfillment, what makes a contented family.
Cancerous Covetousness
"The desire for something which we have no right to possess… a need that is driven by selfish ambition."
William Barclay
Covet = the uncontrolled desire to acquire what belongs to another
First, what does it mean to covet and why is it wrong? Let’s begin by seeing what it does not mean.
God is not telling us that we can’t desire anything. He is not forbidding ambition, He is not prohibiting success. He’s not saying, "Don’t have any desire whatsoever for possessions."
The Bible doesn’t promote laziness. Prov.6:6- "Lazy people should learn a lesson from the way ants live. The have no leader, chief, or ruler, but they store up their food during the summer, getting it ready for winter." (GN) The ant accumulates things that it needs. So, God would say, “I’ve created within you a normal desire for things and it is not wrong to see something and want it badly enough to work for it.”
In fact, Paul says in 1 Thess. 3:10 that he gave the early churches a rule that if you don’t have enough ambition at least to work than you should not eat.
When God says do not covet He is not saying "Do not desire anything" – but what He is saying is: "Make sure you maintain a proper balance.” It refers to that consuming need for things, an inordinate want.
To covet is to be willing to put things over people. To covet means to envy other people’s possessions so much that it results in discontentment; to forsake your relationship with God or ruin your family over your desire for having an abundance of things.
When you look at the categories of coveting that God gives here you see that they pretty much cover all the areas of our life.
The 10th Commandment: "Do not Covet."
Don’t covet your neighbors house
This, of course includes the type of lodging you have. What’s your reaction when you go to the home of a peer and it’s nicer than yours? Are you devastated? Bitter?
Do you drive home and say to your wife, "Did you see that house? It’s so elaborate! They’re the same age that we are and yet they have twice the house we do. They must of inherited their money, I can’t believe it! Two acres, a 3 car garage, an entire wall of video & stereo equipment, and did you see that furniture? It goes back to Louis XIV, ours goes back to Sears on the 15th, if we don’t pay it."
God says, "don’t be envious of your neighbors house. If he has something nicer than you, compliment him, say, "I’m glad for you, that’s great, enjoy it. I’m just glad I don’t have your payments."
Don’t covet your neighbors wife
Have you wished you had someone else’s spouse?
David did. David was one of Israel’s greatest Kings. He was married and one evening while strolling on his roof he saw Uriah’s wife and he said, "Man, she is beautiful, I’ve got to have her!" That led to adultery, deceit and eventually murder. Have you ever coveted somebody else’s husband or wife? Ever say, "I wish my wife looked like her, what a great body." -or- “I wish my husband was a spiritual leader like him, he’s what I want." -or- "He makes more money, he’s more tender." "She’s more talented."
Those thoughts can lead to action. You berate your own mate for not measuring up. You find yourself flirting with the person and even taking covert action to undermine the stability of the other’s marriage and finally taking that mate for yourself. It all began with the wrong attitude of the heart- coveting what didn’t belong to you.
Don’t covet your neighbors manservant or maidservant
I think that could apply today to another’s employee. Don’t be envious over someone else’s good worker.
It could also apply to the envy of another’s status and place in life.
Don’t covet your neighbors ox or donkey or wealth
Don’t covet his stuff. When you see what your friend or a neighbor has do you start thinking about how you can get some more stuff? When a friend pulls up in his new “Belch Fire V8” do pangs of jealousy sweep over you?
Don’t covet anything that belongs to your neighbor: Not his ipod, or his cd’s, or his TV, or his RV, or his ATV, or his PC, or his DVD, or his SUV, or his BVD’s – Never mind… you have the idea.
Paul wrote in Philippians and gave us the antidote to the disease of discontent. In this text he reveals that he has learned the secret of being content. Let’s look at it.
The Secret of Being Content
“… I have learned to be satisfied with the things I have and with everything that happens.
12 I know how to live when I am poor, and I know how to live when I have plenty.
I have learned the secret of being happy at any time in everything that happens, when I have enough to eat and when I go hungry, when I have more than I need and when I do not have enough.”
Philippians 4:11b-12
Notice in this text that you must learn to be contented. Contentment does not come naturally. Discontent comes naturally and we live in a world that feeds the discontent.
So, how do we become contented? And how can we craft a contented family.
One way is to talk about the negatives, the envy, the jealous ambition for stuff – but that is not enough. It is not only a matter of putting off covetousness but it’s also a matter of putting on an attitude of contentment.
We can do this through four action steps.
Crafting a Contented Family
RESIST COMPARISONS
“Those who want to become rich bring temptation to themselves and are caught in a trap. They want many foolish and harmful things that ruin and destroy people.”
1 Timothy 6:9
Resist comparing myself to others. Because comparing always lead to coveting.
Remember wicked Queen in Snow White? She’d ask the mirror every day, "Who’s the fairest of them all?" The mirror would reply, "You are, Oh Queen!" One day the mirror said, "You’re the runner-up, Snow White is the fairest of them all." And suddenly she was miserable.
No matter how good you have it, coveting can make you feel inferior.
There is always somebody prettier, richer, funnier, and more talented. How do you react when you see someone with a better car, house, and job? We can be perfectly content until we start comparing ourselves with somebody else.
And if your primary love is things, you’re going to be tempted to compare what you have with what others have. We need to learn this very important lesson –
"Learn to admire without having to acquire."
Why do we compare? Because we’ve fallen in the trap set by our culture. They say, "net worth = self-worth." We should say, NOT TRUE!
What we have has never equaled who we are. You can be a millionaire and a jerk or be penniless & be a great person. I can learn contentment by resisting the temptation to compare myself to others.
Crafting a Contented Family
REJOICE IN WHAT YOU HAVE
It is better to see what you have than to want more.
Wanting more is useless — like chasing the wind.
Ecclesiastes 6:9
Rejoice in what I do have.
In other words, we need to open our eyes and see how God has blessed us. Don’t be always focusing on what you don’t have, remind yourself of what you do have.
We often fall into the trap of "When and Then:" thinking. When and then thinking says, "When I get ___ then I’ll be happy. When I get married.. When I get a better paying job.. When I get my kids in college.. When I get... then I’ll be happy.” No you won’t. Because things don’t give lasting contentment. Let me ask you.. What are you waiting for to make you happy? “When I get married.. When I get out of this marriage.. When I get that job, that car..” You are as happy as you choose to be. It’s time to stop whining, repent of our ungrateful hearts & enjoy what we do have.
My daughter Sandi stops her girls cold when they whine by telling them that the need to be joyful for what they have and then she lets them know that if they don’t start being joyful for what they have she’ll take it from them and they won’t have anything. It works!
My parents used to send me to my room to stay there until I could come out and be happy. So I’d go to my room until I could make an attitude adjustment. And being bored? I learned to never, never, never tell my mom or dad that I was bored… That was the surest and quickest way to get assigned a list of chores to do around the house!
Learn to rejoice about what you have!
"God, forgive me when I whine."
Today, upon a bus,
I saw a lovely maid with golden hair.
I envied her, she seemed so pleased,
and oh I wished I was as fair.
When suddenly she rose to leave,
I saw her hobbled down the aisle.
She had one foot and wore a crutch.
But as she passed, a smile.
Oh God, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 legs, the world is mine
And when I stopped to buy some sweets.
The lad who served me had such charm.
I talked with him,
his manner was so very kind and warm.
And as I left, he said to me,
"I thank you, you’ve been so kind.
It’s nice to talk with folks like you.
You see," he said, "I’m blind."
Oh God, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 eyes, the world is mine.
Then when walking down the street,
I saw a child with eyes so blue.
He stood and watched the others play.
It seemed he knew not what to do.
I stopped a moment, then I said,
"Why don’t you join the others, dear?"
He looked ahead without a word.
And then I knew, he couldn’t hear.
Oh God, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 ears, the world is mine.
With feet to take me where I’d go.
With eyes to see the sunset’s glow.
With ears to hear what I should know.
Oh God, forgive me when I whine.
I’m blessed indeed, the world is mine.
Crafting a Contented Family
RELEASE WHAT YOU POSSESS
"Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.
Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share.”
1 Tim 6:17-19
Release what I have to help others.
God has not blessed and provided you with everything for your own enjoyment – but that’s not all!
Four Precautions:
RELEASE WHAT YOU POSSESS
Don’t be Arrogant
i.e., Don’t be proud of your possessions.
Don’t put your hope in wealth
i.e., Don’t put your trust in money. You’re security is not in your bank account. Money can disappear in 100 ways! Put your hope and trust in God.
Be rich in Good deeds
.. i.e. Use your money to do good. i.e. Don’t waste your money.. make sure your money pays more dividends than just making more money. What spiritual dividends does your money pay. Listen, God is watching how and what you use your money for.
Be "generous and willing to share
" The one sure cure for coveting in this world is to give generously of what you have. Why? Because the opposite of getting is giving.
Every time I give.. to someone else, to the church.. I’m breaking the grip of covetousness. Because every time I’m generous I am in effect, saying, "I can get along without this."
And God says, "Do these 4 things and you get a benefit.” Vs:19- "In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age.." We know that we can’t take it with us but this verse implies that you but you can send it on ahead!
Every time you’re generous God takes account of it and builds for the coming age. Now I don’t think our reward in heaven will be material but this does say if we are generous we are laying up treasure in heaven.
And the most contented people I know are those who are not concerned about accumulating. They enjoy life because they have found the way to keep their possessions in perspective & they’re generous.
Crafting a Contented Family
REFOCUS ON THAT WHICH WILL LAST
“We set our eyes not on what we see but on what we cannot see. What we see will last only a short time, but what we cannot see will last forever.”
2 Corinthians 4:18
Refocus on what is going to last.
Give your attention to permanent values; reorganize your life so that eternal priorities are first in your life and teach them to your children with how you live your life.
Dealing with the Pressures of Discontent
"...put your hope in God who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment."
1 Timothy 6:17
According to Jay Kesler, there are two ways of handling pressure. One is illustrated by a bathysphere, the miniature submarine used to explore the ocean in places so deep that the water pressure would crush a conventional submarine like it were an aluminum can.
Bathyspheres compensate with plate steel several inches thick, which keeps the water out but also makes them heavy and hard to maneuver. Inside, they’re cramped.
When these crafts descend to the ocean floor, however, they find they’re not alone. When their lights are turned on and you look through the tiny, thick plate-glass windows, what do you see? Fish!
These fish cope with extreme pressure in an entirely different way. They don’t build thick skins: They remain supple and free. They compensate for the outside pressure through equal and opposite pressure inside themselves. Christians, likewise, don’t have to be hard and thick-skinned.
When you approach the fourth commandment as a gift from God, you can discover how a weekly Sabbath provides you with the inner resources to maintain the purpose, power and freedom God intends for his people.
