How to Deal with a Rebellious Child
Ephesians 6:1-4
Psalm 127:3-5
“Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth.
Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.” (NIV)
Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of the ways having a second and third child is different from having your first.
1) Your Clothes
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
2) The Nursery
1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?
3) Worries
1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown-you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
4) Pacifier
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby’s bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
5) Going Out
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
6) At Home
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
Parents have been entrusted with an eternal soul, destined for heaven
or hell.
Your child’s destiny largely hinges upon your lifestyle.
NOW Parents we have an awesome PRIVILEGE…
It was BILLY GRAHAM who said: Children will invariably talk, eat, walk, think, respond, and act like their parents. Give them a target to shoot at. Give them a goal to work toward. Give them a pattern that they can see clearly, and you give them something that gold and silver cannot buy.
Into our care are given the moldable, changeable, & unpredictable little persons who grow up so quickly!
Dorothy Law Nolte once wrote down these thoughts…
If a child lives with criticism, He learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, He learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, He learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame, He learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, He learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, He learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise, He learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness, He learns justice.
If a child lives with security, He learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, He learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
He learns to find love in the world.
Eph 6:4
“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”
(KJV)
“Nurture”
literally means
“DISCIPLINE”
A youngster’s heart is filled with foolishness, but discipline will drive it away.
Proverbs 22:15 (NLT)
Proverbs
23:13-14
“Do not withhold correction from a child,
for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.
You shall beat him with a rod, and deliver his soul from hell.”
(NKJ)
We DISCIPLINE our children so that they will learn to DISCIPLINE themselves!
Proverbs 13:24
“He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.”
(NIV)
Discipline is...
DIRECT
Don’t wait!!! Short term delay can become long term disaster!!!
Win your battles quickly! Too many parent fight the same battles for years! Don’t let a small thing grow. The longer you put it off, the bigger it will grow.
INSTRUCTIVE
Practice the KEEP IT SIMPLE, & SWEET_method of discipline.
Help the child understand what they did wrong. Be specific! Speak softly!
Proverbs 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
(NIV)
SENSITIVE
Understands why the disciple is needed. You are keenly aware of how your child is doing and you know how much he is capable of handling.
CORRECTIVE
Shows the child how to “fly” right without clipping his wings! Proper discipline always makes it easier for the child to make the right decision next time.
Proverbs 13:13-20
He who scorns instruction will pay for it, but he who respects a command is rewarded. The teaching of the wise is a fountain of life, turning a man from the snares of death. Good understanding wins favor, but the way of the unfaithful is hard. Every prudent man acts out of knowledge, but a fool exposes his folly. A wicked messenger falls into trouble, but a trustworthy envoy brings healing. He who ignores discipline comes to poverty and shame, but whoever heeds correction is honored. A longing fulfilled is sweet to the soul, but fools detest turning from evil. He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.
IN CONTROL
A clever parent heads off problems BEFORE others know they are problems. Think about how you will handle the situation BEFORE it becomes a situation. In every family somebody has to be in control or our family will be like a car careening out of control. Another thing that will happen if your are not in control, your child may take control. Would you let your 3 year old drive your car? Why would you let him drive your family?
PHYSICAL
Discipline is for your child’s good. At every age, the proper board of education must be applied to the seat of knowledge, whether you are 8 or 80.
LOVING
Make sure you hug and hold your child sometime during the discipline.
INDIVIDUALIZED
Parents do not have to be “fair”! Like God, parents are to be “just”! Every child is unique. Don’t let that child tell you your discipline is not fair if it is appropriate to the child and to the misbehavior.
NOT DEGRADING
The behavior may be stupid, but the child is not!
EXEMPLARY
The best way to disciple your children is to disciple yourself! When you have children you have a tape recorder in your house. For the most part that is true, not everything your child says comes from your home. But we have to know that there are hungry ears and eyes that are watching and listening to what we say and how we act and react.
