FIRST CHURCH OF THE COUCH POTATO
by Pastor Jim May
1 Peter 2:2-3, "As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby: If so be ye have tasted that the Lord is gracious."
Nothing is more precious in the eyes of a young couple than a newborn baby. It is the same with the Lord as he looks upon a new convert, someone who has just been born again of the Spirit of God and washed in the Blood of the Lamb.
As I look around the church there are some here who would probably come close to qualifying as a newborn babe in Christ. Some would qualify more as toddlers. And some would be a little older.
In every stage of growth, both physically and spiritually, there are a lot of things that change. A newborn baby often can’t communicate very well except to cry if it is hungry, in pain, needs changing, or just wants more attention. A toddler has begun to learn a few words, maybe even putting some sentences together, but he still has communication problems simply because he hasn’t learned what many things are in life.
Sometimes one of those children can really surprise you. I remember when my son was small. He didn’t speak at all for a long time. We wondered if he would ever begin to talk. Then one day, out of the clear blue sky, he spoke a whole sentence. He was riding in a car, stopped at a stop sign, waiting for the intersection to clear when he said, “Well, go ahead stupid!” That kind of tells you what he may have been listening to doesn’t it?
You have to love babies and children. Nothing brings joy like having a few little ones around doing some cutesy things. I love it when they come for a visit, and I love it when I can say to their parents, “It’s time to take them home now.” That is, unless they live with you.
Mr. Art Linkletter once had a program on TV where kids could say what came to their minds and those kids were really funny. Mr. Linkletter isn’t around anymore, but the things kids say are just as funny today. Here’s what just a few of them had to say after some Sunday School classes when the preacher asked what they had learned.
In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so He took the Sabbath off. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark.
Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles.
Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.
The First Commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple. The Fifth Commandment is to humor thy father and mother. The seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels. The epistles were the wives of the apostles. One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was, by profession, a taximan.
Aren’t kids funny? It’s great to be a Child of God. It’s great to know Jesus as my Savior and Lord and my Elder Brother. It’s great to know my Heavenly Father. It’s great to be a babe in Christ, but their comes a time when we have to move on to bigger and better things in God.
There are a lot of people who are born again but never seem to progress much farther than that. The reason is, that they soon learn to be a “spiritual couch potato”, because growing in Christ means hard work, commitment and dedication – in short, it means “discipline”.
It is so wonderful to get saved and to begin to drink of the sincere milk of the Word of God. Newborn Christians need a lot of nourishment from that milk of the Word. They need to learn the basics of serving the Lord. They need to know that the Word of the Lord is quick, powerful and sharper than any two-edged sword. They need to know that they can trust upon God’s Word and build their lives upon it.
The goal of every church, and every pastor, is to begin a training process for every new convert – to get them filled with the sincere milk of the Word. But there comes a time when we must progress from the milk of the Word to something stronger. That means growing up and learning to understand the deeper things in God.
At some time we need to grow up and get involved in the work of the Kingdom of God. We have to stop playing like children and get serious with the Lord, but some people never get deep enough into God’s Word, and never get involved enough to be much of a blessing to other people. They just love to be a “spiritual couch potato” and soak up the blessings without ever giving anything back. God wants his children to grow up!
Hebrews 5:12-14, "For when for the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need that one teach you again which be the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat. For every one that useth milk is unskilful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe. But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil."
Spiritual couch potatoes are everywhere. They are in every church. You can know they are there by just looking for the signs. You can tell when someone is a spiritual couch potato because they will begin to develop a lot of symptoms that easily visible. Much like a man who is a real couch potato, lying around eating nothing but junk food and not getting any exercise, these spiritual couch potatoes develop some pretty serious problems.
First they develop Spiritual hardening of the attitudes –Their ability to think and rightly divide the Word of God becomes clogged with confusion. Sometimes they develop personal convictions that are based on wrong beliefs and they get a confused mind because we listen to too many of the wrong voices
Then comes the Spiritual blockages – If they lay around long enough on the spiritual couch, spiritual muscles begin to atrophy and soon we don’t even have the faith to serve the Lord at all.
Spiritual heart murmurs – we begin to doubt our own salvation.
Spiritual laziness – we just don’t have time to serve the Lord anymore between all of our other commitments. Every once in a while, maybe once a month on a Sunday, I’ll “bless the Lord and the church” and show up during a commercial break.
Spiritual strokes – a physical stroke is a very dangerous thing. It can paralyze all or part of the body. It can even bring death. How many people have laid around on their spiritual couch so long that they appear to have had a spiritual stroke? They forgot how to pray. They can’t bend their knees anymore. They can’t “see” what God is doing anymore. They can’t walk in victory like they once could and stumble easily over every little pebble that Satan can throw in their path.
Spiritual Heart Attacks – After a while the body will get weaker and weaker; the arteries get worse and worse, blockages continue to form, the “fat” keeps building up, until finally the heart gives out. We aren’t seeing so many people have “spiritual heart failure” because of fear, but because of lack of activity.
What are the signs of a physical heart attack? How can we relate these signs to the spiritual heart attack?
·Chest discomfort. Most heart attacks involve discomfort in the center of the chest that lasts more than a few minutes, or that goes away and comes back. It can feel like uncomfortable pressure, squeezing, fullness or pain.
If you don’t think that happens to people in the church, just start trying to get them involved. You will begin to hear about every little ache and pain that you can imagine. Their heart for God is weak and you make them really uncomfortable by talking to them about their commitment to Christ
.
·Discomfort in other areas of the upper body. Symptoms can include pain or discomfort in one or both arms, the back, neck, jaw or stomach.
If you don’t think that “couch potato Christians” have these symptoms just think about it. Try to get them to raise their hands and praise the Lord. Try to get them to put their back into the work around the church. Try to get rid of that old stiff neck way of thinking. You had better watch out that the “jaw” doesn’t start chewing on you. They just can’t seem to stomach getting off the couch and doing anything for the Lord.
·Shortness of breath. May occur with or without chest discomfort.
Even if you do get them up off the couch, it won’t last for long. Their spiritual breath is weak. The first time they have to be uncomfortable, step out of their comfort zone, and do something that requires real effort, they just simply quit working and go back to the couch one more time.
· Other signs: These may include breaking out in a cold sweat, nausea or lightheadedness
Couch potato Christians are always “light headed”. It’s as though you can look into their eyes and no one is home. Their mind is so far from God and God’s will in their lives that it’s impossible to even talk to them about Jesus most of the time. They are too hung up on the things of the world.
Who can doubt that “couch potato Christians” who are having a “spiritual heart attack” are in danger of losing their very soul? The final stage of a Spiritual Heart Attack often results in Spiritual death. A spiritual couch potato is the same thing as a lukewarm, or maybe a cold Christian and God will not accept that kind of heart into Heaven.
How can you get a spiritual couch potato off of the couch and get them to working for the Lord? There are some things that must happen but all of them boil down to this one purpose – to stop the hardening of the arteries.
In a natural sense there are some steps to take in preventing a heart attack such as:
1. Stop smoking cigarettes; the day a person quits cigarette smoking that person decreases his/her chance of dying of a heart attack by 50% that same day! The benefit of stopping cigarettes happens immediately.
What can we relate that to in a couch potato Christian? Somehow we have to get them to quit playing around with fire and get the secret sin out of their life. They have to quit swallowing the poison that the devil and his crowd blow their way telling them that they are all right when the Bible teaches otherwise.
2. Lowering blood pressure – the best way to do this spiritually is to maintain a good relationship with Jesus Christ. Here is God’s remedy for “spiritual high blood pressure”.
Isaiah 26:3-5, "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Trust ye in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength: For he bringeth down them that dwell on high; the lofty city, he layeth it low; he layeth it low, even to the ground; he bringeth it even to the dust."
3. In the physical we must begin by Lowering cholesterol – that’s done through watching how much junk food you eat and then getting some exercise. While physically this can be done with certain medicines, there is no short cut spiritually. You have to develop a lot of spiritual discipline. Quit living on just the fluff of the Bible. People love to hear the motivational speeches, and the details of a great teacher, and they love to hear of love, mercy and grace. But don’t give them anything about sin. They don’t want to hear anything but what tastes good.
4. Physical activity This natural body needs regular exercise. Exercise has been shown to decrease the chance of heart attacks. If the spiritual couch potato will get out there and serve the Lord, serve his fellowman, and do something constructive, there is no limit as to what God can do through him. But again, this kind of activity requires inconvenience, hard work and discipline and those words tend to frighten a true spiritual couch potato.
5. One thing that contributes greatly to a physical heart attack is a condition known as diabetes. - It has been shown that people without diabetes have less chance of developing hardening of the arteries and blockages than people with diabetes.
Blood sugar levels, especially from the junk food and fatty foods, create this dangerous situation. I know a lot of people who have all the signs of spiritual diabetes. Here are some of them:
D rowsiness - you can watch them sleep through any sermon, and sit like they have no energy, even when the power of God is literally shaking the room.
I tching – they are always “itching” for the service to be over so they can get back to the couch again
A family history of diabetes – if mom and dad act that way, it’s no surprise that the kids will pick up on their same habits
B lurred vision – they can’t see the moving of the Holy Spirit and they refuse to grasp many of the truths of God’s Word. They are too busy focusing only on what they want and not what God wants.
E xcessive weight – Too many things of the world are hanging on them and dragging behind them. The forgot the words of Paul in Hebrews 12:1, "Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,"
T ingling numbness in feet – They can’t walk in the footsteps where the Spirit is leading because they have become numb to the Spirit’s call in their heart and life.
E asy fatigue - Even when they do attempt to move, if they don’t really change through repentance, they won’t last long.
S kin infections and slow healing – When a couch potato Christian is offended, and they often wear their feelings on their sleeves, it takes them a long time to get over it. They hold grudges for a long time and they will never let you forget it if you make a mistake.
What is it going to take to get the spiritual couch potato off the couch and into the mainstream of service for the Lord?
It’s going to take a revival in their soul! It’s going to take a true move of God in their hearts! It’s going to take a sin-killing, Holy Ghost revival to change their heart!
Where does that kind of revival begin? How can we stop being a couch potato Christian and really get on fire for God?
I heard one Evangelist put it this way;
Kneel down in the center of the floor, draw a chalk circle all the way around yourself, then ask God to start a revival inside the circle. From there the revival will spread.
