“Am I Really a Christ-Follower?”
Matthew 5:43-48
Has anyone done something to you recently that was just wrong? Something that hurt you, harmed you? Made you angry? How about something a long time ago? A deep and lasting hurt that penetrated deep into your heart and soul? Anything come to mind? It wasn’t very “Christian” of them, was it? Today we’re going to look more closely at that statement and discuss what it really means, from the perspective of Christ Himself.
We have been studying the ever-increasing purity requirements in the character of those who claim the name of Christ. At the end of this section in Chapter 5, Jesus summarizes the core heart difference for every child of the Kingdom of Heaven.
Just the other day, I heard someone make the comment, “He obviously isn’t such a good ‘Christian’ after all, is he?” Those words have such a piercing sting to them, don’t they? The first thought that popped into my head was the question, “Do they think that way about me?” I certainly hope not. People have an immediate concept of what a Christian’s behavior is to be, whether they themselves are a Christian or not. Also, they seem to have a perception that Christians are standing around being harshly critical of others. And, many times, that assessment is more accurate than not. Lately, I have taken to referring to myself simply as “a believer…a sinner saved by grace”. But, the incident gave my mind fodder to mull over and reflect on. Those involved in the conversation I overheard made a simple mistake that we all make so easily and so universally – which we will look at a bit later. Without having been there, what would you guess was the nature of what they had heard or observed? Matthew 5:43-48 is the most concentrated section of Scripture that deals with the Christian ethic in personal relationships. Even those who never darken the doorway of a church know that Jesus taught this, and they very often condemn those who profess to be Christians for falling short of this standard. If we are going to try to live this out in our own lives, then we need to have an accurate understanding of just what Jesus is teaching.
There are four Greek words for love, only two of which are found in the New Testament. The first is the word storge, and is a word that describes family love – the love that parents feel for a child and the child for the parents. It is not found in the New Testament. The second, which is also not in the Bible, describes the erotic love between a man and a woman. That word is eros. The third word is phileo, and describes the deep and true love between friends who are closer than brothers, friends who share a deep affection for each other that is tender and caring. The fourth, which Jesus uses here, is the word that describes unconquerable benevolence and invincible good will – commonly known as godly or heavenly love. This is agape-love. If we regard a person with agape, it means that no matter what that person does or says to us, no matter how they treat us, no matter even if they insult or injure us, we refuse to allow any bitterness against them to enter our hearts. Instead, we will regard them with the unconquerable benevolence and invincible good will that seek the highest good for them. How are we doing so far?
Okay, let’s look at what Jesus is and isn’t saying. First, we have already seen that Jesus is not telling us to love our enemies with the same love that we love those who are nearest and dearest to us. It would not be possible or right to love an enemy the same way we love a spouse or family member. Remember, Jesus is using a completely different word here because He is asking us to love in a completely different way.
Agape is a love we choose to have and use; it is not a feeling or emotion of the heart. We talk about “falling in love”, which most times is a phenomenon that, when it happens, happens to us quite unexpectedly and overwhelmingly. On the one hand, love is a natural reaction we have to some people. What Jesus is teaching us is that we are to love with a love that is the opposite of a natural reaction. This is a great part of what distinguishes a true believer from an unbeliever. Agape is the God-given power to love those we do not like and who probably don’t like us. It is the choice we make to seek the good of those who have done bad to us. How are we doing now?
Perhaps this will help. Jesus never taught that we should allow people to do anything and everything that they want to do to us. Some of the confusion arises out of the parallel passage in Luke 6:27-38, and from the section we studied a couple weeks ago in Matthew 5:38-41. In those passages, Jesus mentions the “turn the other cheek” concept that so many people – believer and unbeliever alike – are so familiar with but misunderstand even more. A man can take a punch in the face a lot more readily than he can take being slapped. A slap is so insulting! So degrading, so dismissive! A man’s immediate internal reaction is what? Burning wrath? Vengefulness? Jesus is teaching us that we are to have a heart response that is agape – we are to deliberately and purposefully seek their highest good, not seek violent retribution. We are to have a completely different heart about them, in spite of what they have done. Remember when we studied that section that Jesus shed more light on this idea when He talked about the cloak and tunic. You will recall that in those times, the cloak was the heavy and durable outer garment that was used as a covering to keep a person warm and protect them from the elements. The tunic was a thinner garment that was worn under the cloak. The cloak was so important that it was not to be kept as collateral for a loan beyond the end of the day (Exodus 22:26-27). In Jesus’ day, this command of God was broken frequently. Jesus is instructing us that, even when someone violates what is commonly known to be God’s standard, our attitude toward them is to be generous, not spiteful. After all, is our faith and trust in God, or in ourselves and other humans?
While we’re looking at this, let’s briefly move over to Romans 12:14-21. What do you read here that strikes you most strongly? Let’s return to the passage in Matthew for a few moments with that thought in mind. In all three instances, we are being taught that we are not to passively accept the bad that others do to us, but instead we are to be actively involved in the process. What is it that we are commanded to do?
Are you beginning to see that the focus needs to be on benefiting others so that we may also benefit? It is impossible to feel hatred when you are actively praying for someone. You cannot approach the Throne of Grace with a curse on your lips or hatred in your heart – neither one of these things is acceptable in the presence of God, and they are next to impossible in a real and practical sense.
There is a personal psychological element at work here that we need to understand. In his book, “Mere Christianity” (a book I recommend to all) C.S. Lewis writes, “The rule for all of us is perfectly simple. Do not waste your time bothering with whether or not you ‘love’ your neighbour; act as if you did. As soon as we do this, we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him. If you injure someone you dislike, you will find yourself disliking him more. If you do him a good turn, you will find yourself disliking him less… The difference between a Christian and a worldly man is not that the worldly man has only affections or ‘likings’ and the Christian has only ‘charity.’ The worldly man treats certain people kindly because he ‘likes’ them; the Christian, trying to treat every one kindly, finds himself liking more and more people as he goes on – including people he could not even imagine himself liking at the beginning.”
Imagine seeing a friend drowning in a lake. What would you do? Wouldn’t you do everything to save them, even put your own life at risk? Most people would, no matter what their belief system is. Now, what if you saw a person convicted of rape drowning in that same lake? What if it was someone who had deeply victimized you? Not so easy to answer, is it? That, you see, is the point.
“Why does Jesus command us to have this Christian love, this agape-love?” Now we come to the underlying theme of this study. It is this agape-love that distinguishes us as true believers, as true children of God. Let’s look at this. Jesus points to the unconquerable benevolence of God in the world. He doesn’t withhold needed rain from a farmer just because he is not a believer anymore than he makes the sun to shine only on those who believe. The very nature of God holds a desire for the best to come to all living things (see Psalm 145:15 and 2 Peter 3:9), even to men who have broken His laws and broken His heart. Jesus speaks very plainly when He says it is “so you may become the children of your Father in heaven.” Literally, it means godlike in character. To be labeled a “Christian” is to be identified as one who has the character and love Christ Himself displayed.
Back to our drowning victims. When we imagine the person that we see as vile and wicked drowning, it is unnatural for us to feel panicked or anxious about them losing their life – even in those conditions. Yet, when we see the kind of love that Christ had for us, we see the parallel. Romans 5:7-8 states it clearly, “For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” We were hideous and revolting to a pure and holy God; it was then that He died for us.
Jesus closes with His instruction in this section with this command: “be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect.” Remember the mistake I mentioned that is so easy and universal. This is where it comes into play – we humans always want to look at someone else and judge their character and their behavior instead of our own. Why is that? The word Jesus uses for “perfect” here is not flawlessness and freedom from error and sin. It is a word that means fully realizing the purpose for which someone or something is planned and designed and made. A person is “perfect” when they realize and pursue the purpose for which God specifically created them and sent them into the world. An example would be a person who is well suited for dealing one-on-one with people in everyday life, able to show the kindness needed at that moment by that person, equipped to brighten dreariness with a smile and a word of hope. When that person stands and tries to teach a group of people, frustration and disappointment are sure to result. On the other hand, if that person realizes and pursues their natural ability and dedicates it to God, a sense of contentment and fulfillment are the inevitable result. In a more general sense, all believers are here in this world as ministers of reconciliation, as “ambassadors for Christ, as if God were entreating through us” (2 Corinthians 5:20a). In Genesis 1:26, God says that He made us in His image – we were created to be godlike in our motives and in our treatment of others.
It is very easy for us to compare ourselves with our neighbor. We know going in that they will fall short, so we will be able to look so much better in our own eyes. However, we must remember that God is the real judge, and He knows the truth…He is not fooled or deceived about us in any way. Yet, He still loves us with that agape-love so eloquently and candidly described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-9:
Love endures ill will without anger or resentfulness.
Love believes in the potential of another person, rather than resenting current conduct.
Love is patient, willing to wait for life change in others.
Love is courteous, kind, and ready to show favor.
Love acts upon, even searches for, opportunities to do good.
Love is never envious of others’ skills, honors received, or possessions.
Love is never displeased when good things come to others.
Love never treats others with disgust, contempt, or shaming.
Love esteems others, assigning them value.
Love is never stubborn, cross, or contradictory.
Love never does anything out of order, out of place, or at the wrong time.
Love acts with respect, kindness, good will, and courtesy towards all.
Love never keeps scorecards on the sins of others.
Love never seeks self-gratification at the expense of others.
Love believes God’s power to be working on others’ worst behaviors.
Love never takes pleasure in mischief or hurt done to anyone.
Love initiates God’s workings in others through right prayers for them.
Love bears, endures, and covers over all things, unwilling to expose others’ faults except in the most extreme situations.
Love is long suffering even when provoked.
Love always looks for and believes in the best of others.
Time to take an inventory, wouldn’t you say? Do you claim to be a Christian? Do you desire to truly live a life that models the character of Christ? Are you comparing yourself to others? Are you holding others to a higher standard than you hold yourself? Are you so focused on the shortcomings of others that you easily overlook your own? Are you holding yourself to account for Christ-like behavior, or are you holding others to account? Who is it that has the right to judge the attitudes and behaviors of people? If you are doing this, then you are holding yourself up in God’s place. Does this describe your attitude? So, shall we all judge you by that standard, or shall we love you and pray for you and entrust you to God? Are you willing to change and be changed by Jesus, or will you choose, with full knowledge and understanding, to disobey what God is commanding you to do? Are you willing to be part of the loving accountability and discipline that seeks to cure and to heal? Let us all pray that God will infuse our hearts with true remorse for our wrongs in this area and forgive us for our unloving arrogance, our harshness and criticism, our unbending pride, and our selfish ego. Let us pray that He will transform our hearts and make them hearts like His, full of His agape-love, full of His unconquerable benevolence and invincible good will toward others – especially those who do not deserve it.
