(Based on Southeast Christian Church’s “living a Life of Integrity” and a message by Darrel Land)
SERIES: “WORDS OF WISDOM FOR KINGDOM LIVING”
TEXT; MATTHEW 5:27-32
TITLE: “GUARD YOUR HEART”
INTRODUCTION: A. Most Sundays I am excited to preach
1. I’m usually fired up to prepare a message and present it
a. I have to admit that it’s not really the case today.
b. Maybe you’re assuming that it’s because I’ve spent the last two weeks spending
over 4 hours a night in final rehearsals and performance of The Promise and that
I’m tired
--I am tired but that is not the reason
2. The passage we’re going to study this morning is a tough and controversial
passage
a. It made me wonder why I decided to preach verse-by-verse through the Sermon
on the Mount.
b. But because that’s what I’m doing, I’ve got to bring a message about adultery,
lust, hell, and divorce.
--I thought I might preach on something easier – like MONEY!
3. It’s difficult to balance Jesus’ high standards with His grace and forgiveness
a. I know that discussing such sensitive subjects without offending peoples’
sensibilities is tough.
b. There are a lot of congregations that treat divorce as the unpardonable sin and
refuse to let anyone serve in a leadership position who has been divorced
--By the way, I can’t find biblical evidence of that position
c. There are also congregations that just ignore what Jesus teaches on these
difficult subjects altogether.
4. Now that I think about it some more, let’s just sing a few more songs and go
home!
a. Well, I really can’t do that in good conscience.
b. The Apostle Paul told the elders at the church in Ephesus that he was glad that
he preached to them “the whole counsel of God.”
1). It’s the preacher’s job to communicate all of God’s Word to people.
2). We take an oath to preach the word “in season and out of season” and not
just to “say what itching ears want to hear.”
B. I’m going to ask that you remember today that I’m not the letter writer
--I’m just the mail carrier
1. I promise that I will do my best to teach you how I understand Jesus’ teaching and
how it applies to our life.
--Please promise to do your best to receive this message in love
2. Actually the subject of marriage and sexual purity is so important that we don’t dare
pass over it even though it creates tension.
a. If this helps to prevent one affair, one divorce, one broken heart, or one addiction,
it will be well worth the time we spend today.
b. More importantly, if one child is given a secure, loving environment in which to
grow up or one soul is saved for eternity, God will be glorified.
--Jesus challenges us to guard our heart. So let’s look carefully at what Jesus said
3. Mt. 5:27-32 – “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I
tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery
with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it
away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to
be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it
away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to
go into hell. It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a
certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for
marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries
the divorced woman commits adultery.”
I. THE OLD TESTAMENT PROHIBITION: DO NOT COMMIT ADULTERY
A. There was a positive reason for that negative command.
--Sexual intimacy is so powerful—it is to be expressed in marriage only.
1. A car is a powerful machine and it’s an awesome responsibility to drive a car.
a. An uncontrolled car can crash into a marketplace and kill a number of people, so government
authorities put parameters around driving.
--You have to be sixteen years old. You have to pass a test. You can’t drive under the influence of
drugs or alcohol. You have to travel within a speed limit. There are all kinds of restrictions.
b. Why? Doesn’t the government want us to enjoy driving? Don’t they want us to get to our
destination?
--Of course! The restrictions are there for the benefit of society because driving is a wonderful, but
powerful privilege.
2. Sexual intimacy is a wonderful, powerful gift from God.
a. It seals the covenant relationship of marriage and continually renews the commitment.
b. It often produces children who need the security of a permanent parental relationship in the home.
c. It expresses mutual love in an incomparable and pleasurable way.
3. God, who designed us, wants this powerful gift to be experienced in the safest, most meaningful,
uninhibited environment possible.
a. For our personal benefit and the benefit of others in society, He restricted sexual intimacy to
marriage only.
b. Outside those parameters sexual intimacy initially creates excitement but wounds and kills the
relationship in the end.
C. When we started our study of the Sermon on the Mount, we saw that there is a consistent theme
throughout Jesus’ message from the mountain
--Christ-followers are to be different and distinctive than those in the world
1. One of the ways you show your distinctiveness is that you honor God’s boundaries in sexual intimacy
a. You don’t commit adultery
b. You respect sexual intimacy as a powerful gift from God that is to be expressed in marriage only.
2. The Christian recognizes there is no such thing as casual sex any more than one can be a casual
motorcycle rider or casual pilot for very long.
--It’s too important.
3. In the Old Testament, when Potiphar’s wife said to Joseph, “Come to bed with me. It’s Egypt.
Everyone has affairs here. My husband will never know,” Joseph fled saying, “I can’t do this thing and
sin against my God.”
a. He was different; distinctive
b. He was a man of integrity.
D. Since God’s people are commanded not to commit adultery, we are wise to be alert to those times when
we’re particularly vulnerable because the Bible says we’re to be sober and alert because our adversary the
devil prowls around like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour.
--I’ve heard that you are more likely to commit adultery when:
1. There is a lack of intimacy in your marriage.
a. That lack of intimacy can be physical or conversational.
b. 1 Cor. 7:4-5 says that Godly couples should be consistently intimate so that Satan will not tempt
them because of their lack of self-control.
2. You are more vulnerable to adultery when you experience grief or depression.
--When you’re emotionally drained, you are susceptible to the attention of someone who promises to
pick you up and make you feel better. So be alert.
3. Another period of vulnerability occurs when there is a long period of separation.
--When things like military duty or job responsibilities separate you, temptation increases because
you’re alone and you lack accountability.
4. When you spend a lot of time alone with a person of the opposite sex you’re more at risk.
a. If two people work together or even if you’re involved in a mutual project at church with a person
of the opposite sex, that is the breeding ground for strong temptation.
b. Bob Russell tells of a preacher’s wife who has an understanding with her husband that she always
has to approve of his secretary. She has a 50-50 principle. The secretary has to be over 50 years
old and 50 pounds overweight.
--That preacher’s wife recognizes the potential temptation!
5. You are more vulnerable when you are successful.
a. If you accomplish something significant you may think you deserve someone better.
b. That’s why so many CEO’s of corporations have trophy wives or mistresses.
c. The Bible says, “Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall.”
6. You are also more susceptible to adultery when you’re too close to another couple.
a. Many affairs begin when two couples are together too much.
--They step over the line in conversation and a chemistry develops.
b. The innocent parties are often blind to what is taking place, and when the affair is disclosed they are
shocked.
--Be cautious about doing everything with the same couple all the time.
7. If you want to be loyal to Jesus Christ, be alert to the enemies M.O. – his modus operandi and stand
firm.
--For Jesus didn’t come to destroy the law, but to fulfill it and He repeated the seventh commandment,
“Do not commit adultery.”
II. JESUS’ DEMANDING INSTRUCTION: DO NOT LUST
A. Jesus went deeper than just prohibiting adultery.
--Jesus said don’t lust!
1. Jesus went to the core of the problem—the heart.
--He said, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery
with her in his heart.”
a. Jesus is not saying that to have a sinful thought is just as bad as acting out that thought.
--If that was the case there would be no motivation for not acting on the thoughts.
b. A lot of times we cannot control what pops in our minds.
--Jesus was saying that it starts there and if you don’t deal with it, then it is going to come out in
your actions.
2. The Bible calls the soul of our being – our innermost thoughts – the heart.
--Jesus said in Mk. 7:21 – “For from within, out of men’s hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual
immorality, theft, murder, adultery…”
a. Adultery begins in the heart—the innermost thought life.
--So the way to assure a lasting, loving marriage is guard your heart.
b. All immorality begins with our innermost thoughts
1). Maintain pure thoughts.
2). Don’t give Satan a foothold in fantasy.
3. The law emphasized the importance of right behavior—the results.
--Jesus emphasized the importance of the heart—the motive.
B. Lust is an awful affliction, ensnaring a lot of otherwise good people.
1. Internet pornography affects both men and women
2. Internet chat rooms can be dangerous areas of fantasy and false romance
3. Everywhere you turn, even in such things as clothing ads, there is visual temptation.
--It’s very difficult to take the high road and avoid lust since there is so much intentional stimulation.
C. What is lust?
1. Lust is looking at a person for the purpose of deliberately stimulating desire.
--John Maxwell defines lust as “any thought that, if you actually carried it out, would be a sin.”
2. It’s not just appreciating someone’s beauty.
a. Some Christians take this to extreme and conclude it’s wrong even to notice beauty.
1). But there is a difference between appreciating beauty and lusting after someone.
2). We instinctively admire attractive people.
b. The Bible speaks of Rachel and Sarah as being very attractive. It speaks of Absalom and Joseph as
being handsome and well-built.
--It wasn’t wrong to notice that.
c. When God converts you He doesn’t strike you blind.
d. However, as we mature, we should see the inner beauty that God sees.
3. If it’s wrong to lust, it’s wrong to deliberately create lust.
a. Ladies, it’s one thing to make yourself attractive.
--It is another thing to make yourself deliberately seductive.
b. The Bible warns those who give drink to a drunkard that they will be held accountable.
--In the same way those who intentionally stimulate lust will be answerable for their contribution
to sin.
c. It’s interesting that Jesus spoke these words to a culture where women wore loose fitting clothing
that covered them from neck to ankle.
--It’s every man’s battle even when women don’t dress provocatively.
5. Ross Brodfuehrer wrote, “Lust is the addiction we can hide. No blood work or CATscan can show it.
But we know where it is. We don’t even need Playboy or Penthouse Magazine. And the drugs
are all around us. On TV, billboards, even walking by us just before communion on Sunday. The
first battleground is the heart; it is the beachhead. Once it lands there, there is no stopping where it
might go.”
6. Solomon said, “As a man thinks in his heart so is he” (Proverbs 23:7 KJV).
D. I believe there are three primary reasons that Jesus was so adamant in His condemnation of lust.
1. First, lust is wrong because it destroys natural desire.
a. Initially pornography seems to enhance romance in marriage.
b. But before long, the lust becomes an end in itself and there is a loss of interest in marriage love.
2. Second, lust is wrong because it’s addictive.
a. Just as surely as one can become addicted to gambling or alcohol, people become addicted to
pornography or romantic/erotic fantasies.
b. Eph. 4:19 describes it this way: “Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to
sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more”
3. Third, Jesus warned against lust because it separates you from God.
--Jesus says, “If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to
lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand
causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than
for your whole body to go into hell.”
--In other words it puts your relationship with God at risk, which can lead to hell.
4. Obviously Jesus doesn’t mean literally gouge your eye out if you lust because you can still lust with
one eye.
a. What He is saying is this: “Take whatever action necessary to terminate lust, even if it sounds
extreme.”
--If you want to overcome lust then take whatever action you need to, to keep it out of your life.
b. If you have this problem you may have to drop the magazine subscription. Move the computer to
a public place. Cancel the movie channels. Get rid of the television if you have to. Take a
different route to work. You may need to not go to that restaurant anymore. Change jobs if
necessary. Stay away from the beach.
c. The reason you go to extreme measures to avoid lust is that it can drag you into hell.
5. You are in a war for your own soul.
a. Satan is seducing you with the intention of dragging you to hell with him.
b. He knows if he can get you to fantasize about adultery, even if you never act out, your mind will
be so polluted you have no room for God; your conscience will be numb.
c. Just because you accepted Christ and were baptized into Him does not give you license to sin and
flirt with disaster.
--1 Cor. 15:1-2 – “Now, brothers, I want to remind you of the gospel I preached to you, which
you received and on which you have taken your stand. By this gospel you are saved, if you
hold firmly to the word I preached to you. Otherwise, you have believed in vain.”
d. Live according to God’s Word.
--Ps. 119:9-11 – “How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. I
seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your word
in my heart that I might not sin against you.”
III. AN ADDITIONAL RESTRICTION: DO NOT DIVORCE
A. Jesus now turns his focus to preserving marriage.
1. The final two verses of this section record an additional restriction: “It has been said, ‘Anyone who
divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his
wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries
the divorced woman commits adultery.”
2. We’re tempted to dismiss this teaching as no longer applicable to today because divorce is so
common in our era.
a. But Jesus spoke these words when divorce was extremely common.
b. All they had to do was sign a certificate of divorce—it was easy!
1). If your wife burned your meal, you could give her a certificate of divorce
2). The woman at the well had been married five times.
3). Marriage was held as easily broken
3. But again, Jesus taught His followers to think and act differently than the world.
a. They were not to get a divorce.
b. The only exception was if your mate had been unfaithful.
1). Sexual promiscuity breaks the exclusive covenant.
2). Unfaithfulness is what breaks the covenant.
--Just divorcing for any reason was not acceptable.
4. There is no question here that Jesus was saying that divorce was the last resort – not the first.
--In our current society, that’s a controversial issue
a. Society says, “Hey, we tried. We just weren’t compatible. Let’s go find someone else. No big
deal.”
b. On the complete opposite end of the spectrum are many churches that treat divorced people as
second-rate citizens
c. Where do we find the Christ-like teaching?
--He says to treat marriage as a sacred covenant. It’s not something to be entered into on a
whim or a feeling. It’s a holy commitment
B. Divorce is a thorny issue.
--It raises a lot of questions especially involving re-marriage and sincere Christians disagree on the
answers. I want to ask and answer a few questions and then give you what I believe is the biblical
viewpoint.
1. If adultery is the cause of the divorce is the innocent party free to remarry?
--Yes. The Old Testament concept of divorce freed the party to remarry. If Jesus meant differently,
He would have explained it differently
2. What if adultery wasn’t the cause but the divorced mate refuses to reconcile? Should the Christian
continue to wait?
--I think the Christian should do all they can to reconcile but scripture teaches if an unbeliever leaves
then let them go. If they refuse to follow Jesus’ teachings they are behaving as an unbeliever.
3. What if the previous mate has remarried—is the other free to marry?
--I think so. There has been a severing of the covenant. Deuteronomy 24 says that if a divorced
person marries another and then divorces again and wants to renew the first marriage, it is not
permissible. Since the marriage covenant has been defiled and reconciliation is not possible, the
unmarried person is free to marry another.
4. What if there was a divorce and then the ex-partner dies?
--1 Cor. 7:39 reads, “A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies,
she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.” God’s word gives
permission for the widow or widower to remarry. That is not adultery.
5. What if the divorce occurred prior to becoming a Christian?
--There’s considerable disagreement about this. But I will say that 1 Cor 5:17 says, “Therefore, if
anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” The old life is to be
forgiven, forgotten, forever, Amen?
6. The most important question is this: If I divorced and remarried against God’s will can I be forgiven?
--Yes. There is no sin that God cannot forgive. 1 Jn. 1:9 says that the blood of Jesus Christ cleanses
us of all sin
a. Corrie Ten Boom said, “There is no pit so deep that the love of God does not go deeper still.”
b. The woman at the well had been divorced five times, but Jesus treated her with respect, forgave
her, and welcomed her testimony.
c. So if you’ve violated God’s will for marriage, you can’t go back and unscramble eggs. You can’t
undo your mistakes. But Christ can forgive you and give you a fresh start. Receive His
forgiveness and go on to live for Him.
C. What concerns me is not those who have been divorced and have sought God’s forgiveness, but those
are married, who call themselves Christians, but who think they can exploit God’s grace.
1. I hear people say, “I know God says don’t divorce, but He wants me to be happy. God and I talked it
over and I’m at peace. He’ll forgive me.”
2. That attitude really concerns me as your minister.
--Christ has asked us to be different and distinctive; especially in our marriage relationships.
D. One of the reasons Jesus said, “Don’t divorce,” is that he hates to see the people He loves go through so
much misery.
1. Divorce seems so simple but in the long run so many people hurt so much for so long.
2. The people who have been married for 35 years or more almost always say the same thing. “We
went through some rocky times. There were times I didn’t like my mate much. But we’re really
glad we stuck it out. We love each other. We have a relationship with our children, our
grandchildren and our God that made it worth it all. Tell young people to stick it out.”
--Jesus wanted these people to know how serious it was that they stick it out.
CONCLUSION: A. As we close out the message this morning, I want to encourage you to take God seriously
in this issue of guarding your heart.
1. You’re in a spiritual battle for your eternal soul and the eternal souls of your family.
2. The Lord didn’t call you to be happy. He called you to be obedient.
3. Jesus wants us to guard our hearts.
--We must strive to please him no matter what it takes.
B. Do you remember that story from a couple of years ago about the mountain climber
who was hiking in eastern Utah and was trapped by a thousand-pound boulder that
landed on his hand? Aaron Ralston couldn’t dislodge his hand and soon ran out of water.
After five days, he put a tourniquet on his arm, deliberately broke the bone in his
forearm, then he took his pocketknife and amputated his own arm below the elbow, freed
himself and with one arm repelled to the bottom of the canyon and hiked out where he
met rescuers who were looking for him. How could a man do that?
Ralston was later interviewed on the David Letterman show. He explained that he
realized he would not survive unless he took drastic action.
1. If a man can do that to save his life for a few years, you can take drastic action to save
your soul for eternity.
2. If Satan has you trapped and the weight of sin is bearing down on you, take whatever
action is necessary to escape. It’s not a physical surgery that’s needed but a spiritual
one.
--It’s a matter of the heart.
C. The message today might seem a bit harsh but Jesus spoke and we have to preach it.
--I admit I am more comfortable whispering repentance and shouting grace.
1. The truth is even though Jesus is calling us out of sin, he does love you and there is
nothing you could have done that he will not forgive you.
--You can be cleansed and forgiven today.
2. After a message like this, I know people are reluctant to come forward.
a. They think, “If I go forward people will think I’ve committed adultery or I’m
addicted to pornography.”
b. The truth is most people who respond during the invitation time have usually made
decisions in advance.
--But I will share this: People respond for the same reason: we have all sinned in
one way or another and we all need the forgiveness of Christ and the
encouragement of the church.
