“A Servant Attitude: Key to Success in Relationships”
Matthew 20:25-28
3 John 1-12
The Carnegie Foundation discovered that to be successful on the job, relational skills are far more important than knowledge. It’s research found that only 15 percent of a person’s success is determined by job knowledge and technical skills. Eighty-five percent is determined by an individual’s attitude and ability to relate to other people.
In 3rd John, we find helpful teaching on attitudes that result in successful human relationships. The key to success most jobs and ministries is this: “Knowing how to get along with people.” You may have outstanding skills and training, but without good people skills and a healthy attitude you will not enjoy life to the fullest and maximize your work opportunities. 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is made up of how you respond to what happens to you.
3rd John is a study in contrasts between the attitudes in two church leaders in the early church, Gaius and Diotrephes (Di-ot’re-fez). From this small book of the Bible we can discover several principles that will help us to improve our attitude and people skills.
3 John 2-8 John praises Gaius for his positive leadership in the church.
I want to discuss several characteristics of a servant attitude to help you become successful in your relationships.
I. A Servant Attitude is Teachable
A person with a servant attitude is teachable.
Gaius was teachable. Gaius was good friend of the Apostle John and served as a leader in the church as a Christ honoring Christian. Verse 3 John says, “It gave me great joy to have some brothers come and tell about your faithfulness to the truth and how you continue to walk in the truth.”
Gaius was one who practiced what he preached. He was faithful to the truth of God’s Word and walked in obedience to the truth.
In contrast to Gaius John scolds Diotrephes for not being teachable. (Verses 9-10) “I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first, will have nothing to do with us. So if I come, I will call attention to what he is doing, gossiping maliciously about us. Not satisfied with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers. He also stops those who want to do so and puts them out of the church.”
Gaius had a humble attitude and Diotrephes was filled with conceit and pride. A person filled with pride tends to look down on other people. They have a sense of superiority. Prideful persons constantly look for what they can find is wrong with people and situations rather then what is right.
###Several weeks again in our Sunday evening Bible study I told the story is told about a man who decided to become a monk and joined an order where silence was the cardinal rule. He could only say two words every decade.
After ten years, the head monk called him. “Well,” he said, “you can say your two words now.” The man replied, “Food tasteless.” Having said his piece the monk returned to his quarters to spend the next ten years.
After ten more years passed, he was once again summoned to his superior’s office to speak just two words. This time he said, “Bed hard.”
Another ten years passed, now a total of thirty years, and the monk was summoned again by the head of the order. He was told that the time had come to speak his two words. He said, “I quit.” Immediately the head monk jumped up and responded, “I’m not surprised. You have been complaining every since you got here.”
The writer of Proverbs writes “As a person thinks in his heart, so he becomes.” (Proverbs 23:7) Your thinking does affect your actions and outlook on life.
Pastor John Osteen in his book, “Your Best Life Now” tells the story of Nick, a big, strong, tough man who worked in the railroad yard for many years. Nick was a faithful worker, but he had one big problem he had a negative attitude. He was known around the railroad yards as the most pessimistic man on the job. He perpetually feared the worst and constantly worried that something bag might happen.
One summer day, the crews were told they could go home an hour early to as a favor to the foremen’s birthday. All the workers left, but Nick somehow locked himself in a refrigerated boxcar that had been brought into the yard for maintenance. The boxcar was empty and not connected to any of the trains.
Nick yelled and screamed and banged on the doors, but since everyone had gone home no one heard his call.
Nick knew he was in a refrigerated box car and guessed the temperature in the unity was well below freezing. He thought, “What am I going to do? If I don’t get out of here, I’m going to freeze to death..” The more he thought the colder he became. He found a piece of cardboard and scribbled a message. “Getting so cold. Body numb. If I don’t get out soon, these will probably be my last words.”
The next morning, when the crews came to work, they opened the boxcar and found Nick’s lifeless body crumpled over in the corner. His body was cold as ice.
Nick died, but the investigators discovered that the refrigeration unit for the box car in which Nick died was not even turned on. The outside temperature that night was 61 degrees.
The Apostle Paul gave wise counsel to the Christians in Philippi: Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.”
Only one person in human history never had a bad attitude – Jesus. Jesus brought the best out of people. In His darkest hour Jesus saw beyond the pain and sorrow to God’s purpose and victory.
From our human standpoint it seemed the work of a lifetime had been a failure. Jesus was hated by his fellow countrymen, he was condemned as a heretic and impostor. Listen to his words in the upper room before his trail and crucifixion: “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me.” (John 14:1)
Gaius had a teachable attitude and lived out a positive life style;
Diotrephes had a negative outlook on life. Diotrephes had no respect for John and didn’t acknowledge his authority. He destroyed a letter John wrote to the church. He spoke against John and refused to offer hospitality to traveling evangelists.
On the other hand Gaius used his gift of hospitality to serve other traveling Christians and provide bed and breakfast as they passed through his area.
When a person has a healthy attitude he/she is sensitive to the needs and feelings of others.
How is your attitude? Is your attitude broken?
#A Man with multiple pains went to see a doctor. He told the doctor than when he touched his side he had a pain. When he touched his head he had a pain. Everywhere he touched his body he had pain.
The doctor examined him and took a full body x-ray. He told the man his problem. The x-ray shows that you have a broken finger.
Your attitude affects everything in your life.
II. A Servant Attitude Builds Unity
In 3 John we see that A Servant Attitude is teachable. Second, A Servant Attitude Builds Unity.
Gaius gave his time to building up the Body of Christ and Diotrephes spent his energy in tearing down the Community of Believers.
God gives everyone the same gift – the freedom of choice. We each have the privilege of choosing our own destiny. Our freedom to choose is like the transmission in a car. We have a forward gears, and we have a reverse gear. We can choose which way we want to go. In the same way we have the opportunity to choose which way our life is going. We can chose to build up or tear down.
# Dr. Viktor Frankl grew up in Vienna, Austria. He earned a doctor of medicine degree. He survived four Nazi death camps including Auschwitz from 1942-1945, but his parents and other members of his family died in the concentrations camps. The Nazis took every earthly possession away from him, his clothes, his watch, even his wedding ring.
He was destitute but he came to the conclusion that he had something that no one could take away from him. He realized that he still had the power to choose his own attitude.
You and you alone make the choice weather you will have a
Positive or negative attitude?
Healthy or unhealthy attitude?
Cooperative or uncooperative attitude?
Grateful or ungrateful attitude?
Sweet or bitter attitude?
The attitude choice is yours. And the attitude you choose determines what you become, what you do, and how well you get along with others.
The Apostle Paul tells us the kind of attitude we are to have in this life when he writes in Philippians 2:5 “Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.” Jesus humbled himself. He served others and he encouraged others to lead.
The words you use either build up or tear down. Cursing and put-down words have no place in the Christian vocabulary.
In your family you can choose to build up and focus on the positive. If you are always looking for the faults, what is wrong in your family, you soon create a negative faultfinding atmosphere.
Break the negative, nit-picking destructive cycle in your family by speaking uplifting words of affirmation. This week determine to say something positive to every person you meet. See how they respond.
Become a cheerleader for everyone around you.
# A group of frogs were traveling through the woods, and two of them fell into a deep pit. All the other frogs gathered around the pit. When they saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead. The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump out of the pit with all their might. The group of frogs kept telling them to stop because they could never get out. They were as good as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died. The second frog continued to jump as hard as he could. One again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out. You see this frog was deaf, unable to hear what the others were saying. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time. Proverbs 18:21 is true: “There is the power of life and death in the tongue.”
#A retired farmer when to his bank. He parked in the parking lot above the bank. He made a deposit and asked the teller to validate his parking ticket. The bank teller told him that they no longer validated parking tickets. The man told him that he had banked there all his life and they always validated his parking ticket. The teller told the man to not hold up the line.
The farmer left the line and got in another line. When he got to the teller he withdrew 4.2 million and went across the street to open up a new account.
A survey was taken on why customers quit a certain business:
1% Die 3% move 5% because of location
7% Product dissatisfaction 84% - attitude &
indifference of employees
3 John 2 John says to Gaius, “Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.” Jesus came to help us choose and cultivate healthy attitudes. He came to heal us of sick attitudes.
When you give Jesus His rightful place in your life you don’t allow differences with people to block your view of God or become a stumbling block to your faith. You give your energy in building up people and eliminate from your language any unwholesome talk as you speak to others.
You build up others when you major on majors and not major on minors. It doesn’t do us any good to criticize and put down people or organizations we don’t agree with. The Apostle Paul encourages us to use words to build up and not tear down: Ephesians 4:29, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs that it may benefit those who listen.”
George Whitefield and John Wesley both grew up in England, but they differed in their interpretation of Scripture and doctrinal issues. Whitefield was asked if he expected to see Wesley in heaven. Whitefield replied, “Perhaps not. He will be standing so much closer to the throne than I.” Though they disagreed in doctrine they worked for the Lord in the spirit of unity.
The Apostle John praised Gaius for his unity building in the church and encouraged Christians to not allow the bad example of Diotrephes to influence them.
Are you a builder of unity? Do you make it a practice to build people up or tear them down?
III. A Servant Attitude Practices Integrity
In 3 John instructs us to have a teachable attitude and an attitude that builds people up. In 3 John a third church leader is mentioned in verse 12, “But everyone speaks highly of Demetrius, even truth itself. We ourselves can say the same for him, and you know we speak the truth.”
Demetrius was possibly a coworker with John and served as his messenger in taking the letter to Gaius and the church. John gave Demetrius a great complement by saying “He is a man of truth. You can trust what he says.”
You might wonder sometimes if it’s worth the effort of being honest and living a life of integrity? Integrity does win over the long haul of life.
###Pastor Joel Osteen in his book, “Your Life Now” tells of talking to a man who worked as a mechanic at a large diesel-truck stop. The man said that his work place was a challenge. His coworkers made fun of him because he refused to go out and party with them after work. Year after year, he put up with all sorts of injustice and ridicule. He was one of the best mechanics on staff but for seven years he never received a pay raise or get a bonus because his supervisor didn’t like him.
The man could have grown bitter or quit, but he continued to do his best. He worked hard and believe he was working to please God not his supervisor.
One day out of the blue, the owner of the company called him. The owner wasn’t involved in the day-to-day operations, so the mechanic had never met him. But the owner told him that he was ready to retire, and he was looking for somebody to take over the business. “I’d like you to have it,” the owner said to the mechanic.
“You know, sir, “I’d love to have it,” said the mechanic, “but I don’t have enough money to buy your business.”
“No, you don’t understand,” replied the owner. “You don’t need the money. I have money. I’m looking for somebody to take over the business. I’m looking for someone I can trust to continue the work I have started. I want to give it to you.”
Today the mechanic owns the company free and clear?
Pastor Joel asked the man how the owner happened to call him. He said he didn’t know, but almost overnight he went from the lowest man on the totem pole to the person in charge of the whole company!” He said, “You know, now they don’t make fun of me in the shop anymore…”
Over the long haul integrity results in God’s blessing. Most of all practicing integrity gives you a clear conscience inner peace of heart and mind.
Let’s renew our commitment to having a servant attitude that is
Teachable,
An attitude that Builds Unity, and
An attitude of integrity.
