3 Godly Guidelines For Great Families
Deuteronomy 6:1-9
Remember last week I ask - have you ever prayer a prayer like this, “God, I just commit my child to your safe keeping”?
The Pastor’s Cat…
Dwight Nelson recently told a true story about the pastor of his church. He had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his yard and then was afraid to come down. The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc.
The kitty would not come down. The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so the pastor decided that if he tied a rope to his car and drove away so that the tree bent down, he could then reach up and get the kitten.
That’s what he did, all the while checking his progress in the car. He then figured if he went just a little bit further, the tree would be bent sufficiently for him to reach the kitten. But as he moved the car a little further forward, the rope broke.
The tree went "boing!" and the kitten instantly sailed through the air-out of sight. The pastor felt terrible. He walked all over the neighborhood asking people if they’d seen a little kitten. Nobody had seen it. So he prayed, "Lord, I just commit this kitten to your keeping," and went on about his business.
A few days later he was at the grocery store, and met one of his church members. He happened to look into her shopping cart and was amazed to see cat food. This woman was a cat hater and everyone knew it, so he asked her, "Why are you buying cat food when you hate cats so much?" She replied, "You won’t believe this," and then told him how her little girl had been begging her for a cat, but she kept refusing. Then a few days before, the child had begged again, so the Mom finally told her, "Well, if God gives you a cat, I’ll let you keep it."
She said to the pastor, "I watched my child go out in the yard, get on her knees, and ask God for a cat. And really, Pastor, you won’t believe this, but I saw it with my own eyes. A kitten suddenly came flying out of the blue sky, with its paws outspread, and landed right in front of her."
I read in the Union Democrat last week of a couple from Sonora...The Petersons - they just celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary. Cecil, 89, and Pansy, 85, got married five days before Valentine Day, on Saturday, February 9, 1935.
Cecil says, “You know you’re getting old when your children are senior citizens."
When asked the secret to their 70-year marriage, Cecil said…“The view of marriage in the early 1900s was that it was a lifelong commitment.” Then Patsy said, "It starts from the beginning, from how you look at marriage. It’s not something you take lightly."
Carl Zimmerman wrote a very important book called, “Family and Civilization” In it he studies 3000 years of family life. This Harvard Professor makes a powerful case for the tradition family structure. The summation of the book goes something like this…so goes the children so goes the culture, or so goes the family so goes society!
The declining life of children translates into a declining culture of life! President Bush has said that, “America needs to choose a culture of life rather than death.” I agree! To think that America has 1.5 million abortions a year, this brings a serious charge to the values of this country!
Carl Zimmerman gives 7 warning signs to a declining nation:
· An Increased rate of divorce. Quick and easy no fault divorce.
· The failure to understand the permanence of the marriage model.
· A looser standard of family as a solution to social problems.
· Lack of respect to parental authority.
· A promotion of co-habitation over marriage.
· The breakdown of most inhibitions against adultery.
· Acceptance of all forms of sexuality.
Dr. Zimmerman wrote, “As we watch the destruction of the family, so we simultaneously watch the collapse of society.”
Maybe your thinking, “This is just another Christian’s conclusions.” Wrong, this man was a secular historian and he never confessed to be a Christian. By the way, this book was written in 1947!
We have a popular show called “Home Makeover”, where a crew comes in and totally remodels someone’s house. In some cases, they tear down virtually everything from room to room and all that is left are the 2 by 4’s.
May I say that what is true for a house is true for a family? We might do better tearing down some family’s foundation than to tear down some family’s house only to begin again!
Key: The makeover for a house comes from Hollywood, but the makeover for a home comes from heaven!
Have you noticed some of the family shows produced from Hollywood?
· Desperate Housewives
· Wife Swap
· Who’s My Daddy?
· Nanny
· Raising Gotti
· The Simpson’s
· The Osborn Family
As John Stossels says, “Give me a break!”
Girls, in case you don’t know how to pick a husband just watch ABC’s “The Bachalorette”!
I believe that the role of the family is God’s idea. Why fight it? Why not accept the fact that our heavenly father knows best?
Genesis 2:18,24
From the very beginning of human life, God has created us to be relational beings and dependent on one another! God gives us the primary foundation for society – it’s the family, it’s the relationship between a man and woman, children and parents and child to child!
For the love of our children - Government service can’t replace the love of a mother and the leadership of a father! Social services can’t replace a child’s devotion to parents! All the counseling services in the world can’t bring the healing words of a parent to a child!
And Moses knew this! Moses had the massive job of getting a new nation to adopt God’s guidelines for a healthy family.
Moses Gives 3 Godly Guidelines For Great Families:
1. A Home Is Where Righteous Lives Are Lived. Vs. 1,2
He’s talking directly to moms and dads!
2 things I’ve come to realize as a parent – Let me share them with you:
· The parental path is never ending! There’s always a bend in the road, a valley to cross and a hill to climb!
And how we travel that parental path makes all the difference in our children’s lives!
· The parental patterns make a big impact on children.
Like it or not, the moment our children were born, God intended for us to be the primary role model for them! To be the example setter!
I admire a parent that wants to deal with their past so that their past doesn’t del with them!
Most of us know Bill Padelford. His younger sister Susan is coming to terms with her father who had a very abusive pattern to his parenting. She is now finding healing so she can be a good role model to her children.
Recently she wrote this about her life:
“It’s so hollow and dark down here Lord, why must I go here again? Been here so many times before. Why have you opened this door? Past visits have been so painful; this one is no different...I’ve tried so hard to weaken the power of truth.
Maybe that’s why I’m here. But what is the purpose of these reminders, when the pain is just a thought away?
I wanted to keep my resentment and anger, a way of revenge for me. The abuser is gone, no way to “get back”. But he still lives within me.
Resentment, anger and revenge don’t keep me on solid ground; they destroy my heart and spirit with a root of hurt. You’ve opened this door so I could see, all the hurt within me, that which I haven’t wanted to feel.
But you know about hurt too, you are not a stranger to rejection. Your power is different, it’s done with love and healing, submission is productive. I resent having to look at the truth of what I need to do from here, all this was not my fault, nor am I the one responsible.
My life could have been different, but the abuse made me numb. But it is now up to me to make the right choice.
I will learn from this visit to the pit, a different way now. For your faithful hand is in my healing, you are trustworthy with my heart.”
In my growing up, my mother was an alcoholic and my dad had a filthy mouth. I came to hate those patterns in their lives!
I prayed countless times as a young adult that I would never let my daughter see those patterns in life! I’m thankful that this is true to this day! I’m thankful that God has given me the power to rise above my parent’s patterns!
How about YOU? Because it’s not just for our sakes, but also for our children’s sakes!
Deuteronomy 5:29 “That it may be well with you forever.”
Moms and Dads – there’s no substitute for Godly character! And only you can set that pattern for your children! With everything in you model to your children that you are a god fearing man and woman!
Key: Mold your heart as a God fearing parent and then you will model your heart as a God loving parent!
The great basketball player Charles Barkley once said, “I don’t want to be a role model.” Sorry, we don’t have a choice in the matter! The only real question is - will we be a good role model for our children?
LifePoint: A nation never rises above its homes and a nation never rises above its parents!
2. A Home Is Where The Lord Is Loved. Vs. 4,5
2 Principles To Teach Every Child:
· The Reality of God.
Most parents do pretty well with this! The fact that there is a God is fairly easy to do.
· A Relationship With God.
This is where we struggle! We must show our children how to love God before it’s too late! In reality, parents are teaching their children what God is like! Earthly fathers mirror a heavenly father!
For that matter, marriage is designed to mirror the relationship between Jesus and the church! Watch, as parents love one another and forgive one another, that mirrors the faithfulness of Jesus!
And we wonder why so many children have given up on Christianity! I guarantee you – we will be fighting a loosing battle if the foundation of family fails!
Do you know why so many church going parents produce children that abandon their faith? Thinks about this – it’s because children don’t understand the difference between church going parents and Christ loving parents!
Let me illustrate this: we take a flu shot to fight off the flu. The doctor injects us with a small amount of the flu virus so that our body will build immunity to the flu.
I firmly believe that too many parents are giving their children a small dose of Christianity, which makes them immune to the real thing! They know the religious gig on Sunday but know nothing of a relationship with God Monday thru Saturday!!
When most kids look at their parents do they see a passionate relationship with God or a pitiful response to God?
We are living in a culture where parents provide their children with a $300,000 house to live in and about $3.00 worth of love in the home!
Not enough to explode my soul or disturb my life, but just enough to develop my ego. Not enough to love my children with, but just enough to keep them in front of the T.V. Not enough love to transform their lives, but just enough to reform their thoughts. Not enough love to let heaven in their hearts, but just a pound of it in a paper sack.
3. A Home Is Where Right Lessons Are Learned. Vs. 6-9
I remind you from last week - the primary job of parents is to teach children the right lessons to function productively as an adult! Here me - this is not the job of a Sunday school teacher! Their roll is to enforce what you are already teaching your kids!
Home is the child’s fist classroom! Where actions have consequences and where character counts! A place where love is expressed and learned and forgiveness is expressed often! It’s where they learn to submit to authority, to be kind to one another, to be obedient.
Our homes are where our children learn the basic skills to survive – how to use the remote control!
In order for kids to function successfully in society, parents must lead their children through 3 stages:
a. Parental control - Teaching kids what to do.
Like keeping little Johnny from shooting the Bebe gun at the cat! Or telling little Sally why she can’t be the barber for her brothers and sisters.
b. Self Control - How to discipline one’s self
c. God Control - Spiritual growth! Hopefully they will be born again before they leave the home!
But above all that – it’s where truth is taught! Jesus did not say that relativity sets you free or subjectivity sets you free – he said the truth shall set you FREE!
Listen to me carefully – when a parent says to their child, “I’m not going to impose my religious values on my kids”, that parent has just done two things:
· Created a vacuum in the heart of their child, that the worlds will be more than happy to fill!
· Created the thought that God is an option for their child’s life!
Maybe you’re thing, where should I start? Why not with the 10 commandments!
Deuteronomy 5:1 “Hear O Israel, the statues and judgments which I speak…learn them and be careful to observe them.”
He’s talking about the 10 commandments! Teach them to your kids not as 10 suggestions or as 10 offenses but God’s 10 commandments!
I love this verse, Acts 16:34 “The whole family was filled with joy when they believed in God.” NLT
If a contractor can take a dilapidated house and raise it up again…don’t you think Christ can take a dysfunctional home and raise it up again?
