Making Marriage Work
Genesis 2:24
New Deal: Tim Timmons maintains that there are basically three stages in marriage. Stage #1 is the Ideal. That’s when everyone is excited, when love is grand, and “our marriage is going to be different!” But then along comes stage #2. The Ideal becomes an Ordeal. This is when we realize that our Prince Charming has warts, and that our Sleeping Beauty is not nearly so lovely once she wakes up. Then, far too often, along comes stage #3. And that’s when either one of the spouses begins wishing for a New Deal. Have you noticed that trend in our culture?
Panel of Women debated on what they thought was a perfect man, a guy who was ‘with it’. You would have thought they would have decided upon some actor or athlete even a wealthy tycoon. They decided that the perfect man was MR POTATO HEAD. 4 Reasons: ‘He’s tan, he’s cute, he knows the importance of accessorizing, and if he looks at another girl you can rearrange his face.
The Men’s List
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday = Sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
Let me begin by saying that my intention today is not to make anybody feel bad who may not want to participate in the recommitment ceremony.
In addition, I don’t want to make anybody here today feel bad who may be divorced and not remarried. I also don’t want anybody who is divorced and remarried to feel bad either.
What I do want to do is celebrate the sacredness of the marriage covenant.
Now I know there are many problems in marriage– but I’m not convinced we should ditch the institution of marriage. Some people feel institutionalized in their marriage. Either they consider their home to be an INSANE ASSYLUM and they are surrounded by crazy people. Or they feel their marriage is a PRISON and their only hope is PAROLE!
I believe we ought to return to God’s original blueprint to find how marriage ought to be. You see, you cannot make proper use of anything until you understand what it is made for.
Felt Pen: I hold in my hand a felt-tip pen. It is a great ideal for, the purpose for which it was made. But, if I try to use this felt-tip pen as a screwdriver– not only will it not accomplish that objective, but I will essentially ruin the pen for the purpose for which it was made. So also marriage. We’ve practically ruined the institution because we’ve tried to make marriage be what marriage was never intended to be. Which is why I think it’s long overdue that we open God’s glove compartment and read the Owner’s Manual.
Today, from Genesis 2, I want us to focus on one simple verse– verse 24. Genesis 2:24– “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother, be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh.” This verse is spoke by the Holy Spirit of God here in Genesis, it is repeated by Jesus in Matthew, and Paul underscored it in Ephesians. I want to suggest that this verse is the foundational verse for marriage. In fact, from this verse we will learn that marriage is designed by God to operate According to three Fundamental Priorities.
I. Leave: If your marriage is going to be what it ought to be– THERE HAS TO BE A LEAVING! “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother.”
Now, that is not a reference to abandon or forsake your parents– even though that is exactly what the original Hebrew suggests. We know from other Scriptures that we must always honor them. But it’s an exaggerated statement to remind us that that when you establish your new home, you are to loosen your dependency on mom and dad. What this means is that we need to sever the emotional umbilical cord. Whether it’s an emotional dependency or even a financial dependency, a physical dependency– you are to “leave” them.
The principle of this leaving is this.... NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ON EARTH, IS TO TAKE PRECEDENCE OVER YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR MATE. And when it does, you are in clear violation of the first fundamental priority of marriage. That leads us to the second principle.....
II. Cleave: If your marriage is going to be what it ought to be– there also has to be a cleaving!
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother.... and be united to his wife....” The old KJV put it like this.... “he shall cleave unto his wife.” Now, let’s make it absolutely clear that this has nothing to do with a meat cleaver. The word, “cleave” has nothing to do with slicing and dicing. The word “cleave” means “to cling or glue to something. To keep close to something and remain bonded to it.”
Word is used over 60 times in the Old Testament alone. This same word is used in 2 Kings 5:27 to describe leprosy which clings to the body. It’s used in Job 19:20, describing bones that cling to the skin. In Ezekiel it describes scales clinging to a fish. Now, scales cling to a fish and bones to a body and leprosy to skin– because they are joined as one. They are merely different parts of the same thing!
And that’s the point. God, at the very inception of marriage, said: THIS THING IS FOR LIFE! The marital bond is a permanent, lasting, never-to-be-severed bond!
When you stood before the Lord, whether it was in a beautiful house of worship or a justice of the peace, and said, “I take you to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do us part,” you were making a covenant with the future. A vow to your God! A vow of permanence. Malachi 2:13-16 says, “Remember the wife of your youth. Keep your marriage covenant. Cleave to that union.”
III. Weave: Finally, if your marriage is going to be what it ought to be, There has to be a Weaving! “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife.... and they will become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).
Note that it says, “they become one flesh. In other words, they weave themselves into each other’s life. And that’s a process– not an instantaneous event. “One flesh” doesn’t happen just because the preacher says, “I now pronounce you husband and wife”; it doesn’t happen when you sign the legal documents; it doesn’t happen in a motel ten miles down the road. It is a life long process! And it is built on the two previous principles.
God’s plan for marriage is that two become one. And this is much more than just sharing the same residence, the same food, and the same bed. It is two people giving themselves to one another until their lives are woven together into one. Husband, wife, let me ask you. Are you developing true companionship in your marriage? Is your marriage more than a joint checking account and the children? God wants much more than that for you. He designed marriage for companionship! Stop using it as a screwdriver and use it for it’s designed purpose!
Knitting Needles for weaving two lives together.....
A VOW!: And only when you make a covenant vow to cleave unto your wife will you be willing to so blend your heart with hers that you become, in every sense of the word TEAM! Living together is against he will of God and allows for zero security.
A NOW! TIME: Only as you make room in your life for you mate can you weave your life into hers/his. Marriage is hard work– hardest task you’ll ever attempt!
You will be hurt, disappointed, and offended by your mate. And the only way you can recover is to commit now to granting forgiveness. There are 12 words that will keep any marriage together: “I was wrong, I am sorry, please forgive me, I love you.” And those words must be spoken often in marriage.
A WOW!
Rodney Dangerfield said, “We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations– we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.” That’s not weaving! That’s not building a team. Are you on you way to oneness?
DON’T HAVE A COW!
Communication is Key –
Men’s Ignorance & A Wife’s Tolerance
THE MEN’S THESAURUS (men don’t always say what they mean) – excerpts:
When a man says "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER"
He means: "Why isn’t it already on the table?"
When a man says, "TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU ARE WORKING TOO HARD’’
He means: "I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner"
When a man says “I HEARD YOU.”
He means: "I haven’t the foggiest clue what you just said!
What’s An Argument?
One Sunday a minister was finishing up a series on marriage. At the end of the service he was giving out small wooden crosses to each married couples. He said, "Place this cross in the room in which you fight the most and you will be reminded of God’s commands and you won’t argue as much." One woman came up after the service and said, "You’d better give me five."...
Avoid Criticism: Now, you don’t have to be a football fan to know this very important principle– YOU DON’T TACKLE THE GUY WHO WEAR THE SAME COLOR UNIFORM! Listen, your spouse is your teammate, easy on the criticism.
A BOW!
Prayer: your marriage better be a matter of prayer with and for one another.
For our time of commitment, I would invite all married couples to come forward and renew their wedding vows today. For those who come we have a certificate commemorating this day and the covenant of marriage.
Look into your love-one’s eyes and repeat after me:
“I, ___________________, joyfully receive you as God’s perfect gift for me, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poor, in sickness and in health, to love you, honor you, cherish you, and to protect you, forsaking all others as long as we both shall live.”
