“All In The Family”
Text: Romans, chapter 16
Introduction.
Do you remember when you were a senior in high school? Graduation was coming, and in the spring of the year we got our last school yearbook.
One of the traditions in school was signing each other’s yearbook. Some of the things we wrote were funny and might include allusions to events shared by friends—unique between those two individuals.
Sometimes we just wrote that we enjoyed knowing the other person, enjoyed going to school with them, and wished them the best in the future.
We wanted to sign those books—especially the “senior” book—because we wanted them to know how special they were to us. We wanted them to always know how grateful we were that we had been able to share our lives with each other. With some perhaps, we were more grateful than with others.
“Peanuts”
Lucy asks Charlie Brown to help her with homework. “I’ll be eternally grateful”, she promises.
Charlie: “Fair enough. I’ve never had anyone be eternally grateful before”, replies Charlie. “Just subtract 4 from 10 to figure out how many apples the farmer had left.”
Lucy: “That’s it???? That’s it?!?!?! I have to be eternally grateful for that? I was robbed ! I can’t be eternally grateful for this! It’s just too easy!!!”
Charlie: With a blank stare, Charlie replies, “Well, whatever you think is fair.”
Lucy: “How about if I just say ‘thanks, Bro?’, asks Lucy.
As Charlie leaves to go outside, he meets Linus.
Linus: “Where’ve you been, Charlie Brown?”
Charlie: “Helping Lucy with her homework.”
Linus: “Well, I hope she appreciated it!”
Charlie answers: “Yeah…at a greatly reduced price!”
Are there times when we should be eternally grateful to people we know? Sometimes the Church brings us together with a lot of different people. Some of these people might be “here I am” people and others might be “there you are” people. Whichever, they are all special to us.
I ran across this little ditty that talks about why people come to Church—
“Some go to Church to laugh and talk,
And some go there to walk the “walk”.
Some go to Church to meet a friend,
And some go there an hour to spend.
Some go to Church to find a bride,
And some go there a fault to hide.
Some go to Church to celebrate,
And some go there to agitate.
Some go to Church to doze and nod,
But the wise go there to worship God.
When we assemble to worship, there are really 2 aspects to that worship. We worship “vertically”—that is when we go to God with songs and prayer. We also worship “horizontally”—and that’s when we reach out in “fellowship” with those around us. As a congregation, we develop into a “family”, and we care for one another.
This idea of caring for “one another” was very important to the apostle Paul. If we went back through the book of Romans and counted how many times Paul used that phrase—“one another”—it would be very apparent to us. Yes, after reading Romans, chapter 16, it’s very clear how Paul felt about “his” people.
If we were able to go back and watch Paul as he was writing this chapter—or actually dictating to Tacitus, who was doing the actual writing—we would probably see the scars on his hands and face. The scars resulted from his being beaten by angry mobs or city Authorities, and as we watch, Paul began speaking about his life.
If we could do this, I believe we would see the passion Paul had for the people he encountered on his journeys and the intimate relationships he had with each of them. Perhaps it would be a little like 2 old soldiers from WWII getting together or writing to each other about the war. They might tell old war stories and ask each other, “Do you remember the time when we…?”
You see, Paul was passionate about his “family”, because in his life, that family changed. Paul had a family before he was converted—and he had friends in his “old life”. Paul’s “old life” was lived under the “Law”, and he excelled and rose above others of his age.
However, when Paul chose the resurrected Christ, when he chose to follow the will of God for his life, Paul lost his family and friends. In fact, many of them set out to kill him, because he became a Christian.
Life in Christ brings us new things, and for Paul, it brought a “new family”, and extended family that grew through very perilous times. This “new family” was made up of people with whom you have “fought the battles”—people who have been there with you and have helped in the creation of the “new you”. Paul says, “I thank God for every remembrance of you.”
Yes, this family that gathers around us through the years as we live out our salvation on this earth becomes very special to each of us.
Romans 16 gives us a unique insight into how Paul felt about his extended family who helped him carry the message of the Gospel to the world.
Do you ever think about how and where Paul delivered his message of the Gospel? Do we think Paul just had a “platform ministry”? One when he just stood and preached? Well, he had both a public and an individual ministry.
1st Thessalonians 2:7-11
---7---“But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children.
---8---Having so fond an affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the Gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us.
---9---For you recall, brethren, our labor and hardship, how working night and day so as not to be a burden to any of you, we proclaimed the Gospel of God.
---10---You are witnesses, and so is God, how devoutly and uprightly and blamelessly we behaved toward you believers;
---11---just as you know how we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring each one of you as a father would his own children…”
John Donne wrote the following words—“No man is an island, entire of itself….”. Those words could not be truer in their meaning than where the Lord’s Church is concerned. Anyone who has sought to “go their own way” after their conversion to Christianity has quickly discovered that it does not work!
Oh, we might retreat for a while from the fellowship found in the Church—and we might think, “Well, I’m doing alright.” However, we will quickly find out that we’re only fooling ourselves!
True fulfillment in Christ comes only through a “living” relationship—not only with God, but also with other Christians. We need each other. It’s important for us to see ourselves as an important part of an extended family—the family of God!
This is the family Paul has been telling us about all throughout the book of Romans, and it is VERY special.
In the 16th chapter of Romans, Paul reveals just how much others were part of his family. Perhaps the words of the great apostle will help us see just how necessary we all are to each other and that we should be grateful to each other. Maybe we should use the words “eternally grateful”!
In Paul’s letter to the Christians in Rome, he finds an opportunity to greet old friends.
Friends to Greet—“Phoebe”.
Paul begins his letter by recognizing some special friends in the Lord—friends who have been a great help to the Church.
Romans 16:1 & 2
---1---“I commend to you our sister Phoebe, who is a servant of the Church which is at Cenchrea;
---2---that you receive her in the Lord in a manner worthy of the saints, and that you help her in whatever matter she may have need of you; for she herself has also been a helper of many, and of myself as well.”
Phoebe was from Cenchrea, a port of Corinth, which was located about 9 miles east of the city. Most assume Phoebe was the bearer of the letter to the Roman Church, and Paul commends her to them. However, she was much more than just a messenger—Phoebe was a worker in the Church, because she is called a servant in the Church.
The Greek word for “servant” that is used here is “diakonos”. This is the Greek word from which we get our word “deacon”. That Phoebe is called this has led some to think that there were a group of women we would call “deaconesses” that made up some kind of Church office. Those who believe this think it might have been like “deacons” in the Church.
Personally, I do not believe this…for several reasons. The term “diakonos” is a very general term, and out of the 30 times it is used in the NT, only 3 times does it refer to an ecclesiastical office. The other 27 times, it is used in a very general sense in referring to a minister or a servant.
If there were “deaconesses”, this would be inconsistent with women holding positions of authority in the Church (1st Timothy 2:12 and 1st Corinthians 14:34-36). If there had been such a group, I really believe we would have other references in the NT.
However, there is no doubt that Phoebe provided a vital service to the Body of Christ, and that she had helped Paul in the past. Paul remembered those that helped him, and he commended Phoebe to the Church in Rome. He tells the Church that they should receive her as befitting the saints.
Greet Priscilla and Aquila.
Next, Paul mentions a well known husband and wife team, Priscilla and Aquila.
---3---“Greet Priscilla and Aquila, my fellow workers in Christ Jesus,
---4---who for my life risked their own necks, to whom not only do I give thanks, but also all the Churches of the Gentiles;
---5---Also greet the Church that is in their house.”
One think I find interesting about this couple is the way they are referred to—they are mentioned together as a perfect example of a husband and wife team working in the Lord’s Church.
There was also something I found unusual—out of 6 instances in the NT where Priscilla and Aquila are mentioned, her name appears first 4 times. The normal way of referring to husband and wife during the 1st century was to put the husband’s name before the wife’s.
Why?
There are several possibilities. Perhaps she had the more outgoing personality—or maybe she was more gifted. During this time period, the wife’s name would be mentioned first if she came from a family of a higher social order. We really don’t know the reason; however, we do know that they seemed to be a great Christian couple. Paul certainly thought they were, and he was very grateful to them—perhaps we could say “eternally grateful”.
In Luke’s account in Acts 18:24-28, we learn that both instructed Apollos more fully in the truths concerning the Gospel. Luke tells us they were tentmakers by trade and that once they had lived in Rome. However, they were driven out of Rome by the decree of the Emperor Claudius in 52 A.D. when he expelled all Jews from the City of Rome.
When Priscilla and Aquila moved to Corinth, they met the apostle Paul. When Paul later moved to Ephesus, they followed him; and, that is where they met and instructed the great preacher, Apollos. Apollos went on to have an important ministry in the Lord’s Church.
Paul tells us that these two people risked their lives for him. He might have been referring to the time a riot broke out in Ephesus, which is recorded in Acts, chapter 19. A mob was trying to kill Paul, but his friends came to his aid and saved his life.
Priscilla and Aquila lived first in Rome, then in Corinth, Ephesus, then back to Rome, and finally back to Ephesus. Wherever they were, they not only opened their hearts to members of the Church, they also opened their home—“…the Church that meets at their house…”. Remember, the early Church met in homes and used their homes as a place of assembly to worship and minister to each other.
Epenetus.
---5---“Greet my dear friend Epenetus, who was the first convert to Christ in the Province of Asia…”
We don’t know much about Epenetus, but Paul knew him and Paul didn’t forget those who were the first to come to faith in an area.
Mary.
---6---“Greet Mary, who worked very hard for you.”
In the NT, we have a half dozen Marys. All we know about this particular Mary is that she worked hard to assist the Church in Rome. She is called a “toiler” because that is the translation for “worked very hard”. We should appreciate those who “toil” in the Church.
Andronicus and Junias.
---7---“Greet Androniaus and Junias, my relative who have been in prison with me. They are outstanding among the apostles, and they were in Christ before I was.”
It’s hard to tell whether these two people were considered outstanding by the apostles, or if they were “outstanding apostles” which, in this sense, meant “one who is sent”. Either way, Paul considered them “outstanding Christians”. They served Christ with distinction, even unto prison.
Ampliatus, Urbanus—Stachys—Apelles.
Romans 16:8-10
---8---“Greet Ampliatus, my beloved in the Lord.
---9---Greet Urbanus, our fellow worker in Christ, and Stachys, my beloved.
---10---Greet Apelles, the approved in Christ. Greet those who are of the household of Aristobulus.
Interestingly, Ampliatus was a single name carved on a tombstone in the earliest of the Christian catacombs, the cemetery of Domatilla. Because it was a single name, it probably indicates that he was a slave, because Romans citizens had 3 names—nomen, praenomen, and cognomen.
But, because of the decorative nature of the tomb, it indicates that Ampliatus was a man of high rank in the Lord’s Church.
Paul also says of Apelles—who is unknown to us—that he “was approved in Christ”. Wouldn’t any of us like to be known as “one approved by Christ”? What an epitaph!
Households of Aristobulus—Herodion—Narcissus.
Paul salutes the households of Aristobulus, Herodion, and Narcissus. These names are familiar and well known to people who were “higher ups” in the Roman government of Paul’s day. When Paul salutes their households, he’s probably saluting people who are slaves in the households who have become members of the Lord’s Church. Paul also stated that Herodion was one of his relatives—I think that’s interesting.
Paul goes on to ask the Church in Rome to greet Tryphena and Peris—women who have worked in the Lord—and also Rufus. I found it interesting that Paul says to greet Rufus, because in Mark 15:21, we read of Simon of Cyrene being compelled to carry the cross of Jesus. It’s interesting that we’re told Simon was “the father of Alexander and Rufus.” If it’s the same Rufus Paul is now greeting, wouldn’t that be something! Of course, we don’t know; but, we know this Rufus was a very special Christian to the apostle Paul.
Paul goes on to greet others who played a part in his life, but we don’t know them.
Love and Respect Each Other.
The apostle Paul shows his love and respect for his fellow Christians in Rome. He gave them an example of this in Romans, chapter 16; however, Jesus had taught the same lesson in Matthew, chapter 5 when he said, “Don’t just love those that showed love to you, even the pagans and the tax collectors do that.”
Within the Lord’s Church today, there are 4 things we need to do.
1. We need to acknowledge people.
Paul says, “…greet these people…”, not because they were considered important people Paul knew, and therefore the Church should be “nice” to them. No, Paul was naming common, ordinary people. Paul was asking the Church to make these people feel welcome—to reach out to them and communicate Christian love to them.
That’s exactly what the Church needs to do today—maybe now more so than at any other time in history. Years ago, the average family was defined as a “husband, wife, and 2.5 children”. They lived in a house with a white picket fence in the suburbs and cooked hamburgers in the backyard on Saturday afternoons.
But today’s concept of the average family has to take into account single parents with children. And in today’s transient society, the family is often moving from one city to another—from one side of the country to the other. They find themselves in new communities with new jobs. We need to fulfill the role of “family” for many of these people. In chapter 16 of Romans, Paul writes, “…greet and greet…”.
Even in our own community we have people who have grown up right here; yet, they do not really have a family. They may have had a father and mother, brothers and sisters, but they don’t really have a “family”. We need to acknowledge these people and tell them, “We are glad you’re here. You are really special to us. We care about you and about your family.”
2. We need to commend accomplishments.
Paul says, “I commend to you our sister Phoebe, receive her in a way worthy, she is a servant in the Lord’s Church and she has done much.”
What is Paul doing?
He is commending accomplishments—he is showing “RESPECT”. It means that we build someone up. We have the power of the tongue and of the pen (or the keyboard). We can enhance, or we can destroy. We need to commend!
3. We need to express affection.
Romans 16:16
---16---“Greet one another with a holy kiss.”
In Paul’s day, this was a common and accepted greeting. In our culture it’s a handshake, or maybe a little hug. But, it all means the same thing. We’re told to “pay attention to each other and greet each other”.
We should confer a blessing.
Paul did this….
Romans 15:33
“The God of peace be with you all. Amen.”
1st Corinthians 16:23 & 24
“The grace of the Lord Jesus be with you. My love to all of you in Christ Jesus. Amen.”
Galatians 6:18
“The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit, brothers. Amen!”
Those are blessings that Paul on the Church. A blessing is simply asking God’s favor on someone else.
Conclusion.
As we go through life and often suffer through hard times, we may not realize that these times will fill us with a sense of fulfillment. “Hard times” have a way of bringing family together; and “hard times” result in us really appreciating each other.
There was a rich couple who had worked hard and achieved material wealth. They had achieved a life of ease. When they were asked when the happiest time of their life was, they replied, “When we were working and going to school and living in a one bedroom apartment.” You just never know, do you?
Question: Are we sufficiently grateful to each other?
Do we give each other what Charlie Brown wanted most?
Are we “eternally grateful” to each other?
Paul wrote, “I thank God for every remembrance of you.”
We should remember that true happiness and fulfillment is found “all in the family”—the family of God.
Invitation.
