After Christmas Mourning…Psalm 142
Pastor Jeff Williams
12-26-04
After Christmas Mounring….
Yesterday started earlier than I would have liked. Our two wide-eyed dreamers got up before sunrise to see what was under the tree. Maxine and I stumbled out of bed and tried to corral Josh and Austin before they tore into their stash. It was Christmas Day. We read the Christmas story from Luke. The boys opened their presents and spent the rest of the morning playing computer games from Grandpa Jack. I chased Maxine around with mistletoe and took video of the day’s events. Pa Paw Patrick even made a surprise visit from Atlanta. It was a good day.
But something was missing. Something did not feel quite right. Though there was tinsel, there were also tears. And even though our living room floor was covered in presents, we could not escape the pain. When we gathered to take a picture, someone was missing. Patrick was here, but where was Maxine’s mother? There was a hole in the picture, just as real as the hole in our hearts. This was Maxine’s first Christmas since her mother died in early August. It’s been four years since my mother died. It just did not feel like Christmas without them. Life does go on, but it does not go on the same.
This entire holiday season has been tinged with sadness for our family, and Maxine in particular. Baking, shopping, and even writing the annual Christmas letter became burdensome for her. While others sang “Joy to the world,” we sang “The Holiday Blues.” A couple of weeks ago, while preparing for this sermon, it occurred to me that many other families were walking through the same valley, or one very similar. Maybe it’s been the loss of job, a health concern, financial troubles or a relationship that ruptured. Whatever it is, it hurts. It is part of being a human during the holidays.
The Holiday Blues
Psychologists tell us that the holidays can be depression-producing times for some people. Dr. Gary Collins writes, “Christmas…may not be a time of joy and happiness for people who are separated from loved ones, without friends or the money to buy presents, worry about relatives who drink too much at the holiday celebrations, pressured by the demands of the season, or reminded of deaths or other traumatic events that took place in a previous December.” (Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide, Dr. Gary Collins, p. 116) Suicide rates spike during the holidays. At the psychiatric hospital I worked in during seminary, the assessment office would be overwhelmed during the month of December with people in distress. Christmas is a time of great sadness for many people
But the Church is Different, right?
The holidays are a time of joy and hope. Surely no “good” Christian could be depressed during such a festive time, right? So, week after week, we walk into the church doors and put on our church face. We feel guilty and lie and say we are ok when we are falling apart. We play the part, quote the right verses, and swallow our tears. Enough! Enough, I say! If you can not be real here, where can you be? If you can not struggle here, where can you struggle? The church is a group of fellow humans walking a long, sometimes disheartening, journey toward home together. Listen to Paul’s heart as he writes to the church in Corinth:
“If one part of the body suffers, all the other parts suffer with it.” (I Corinthians 12:26, NCV)
And to the church in Galatia he wrote this command:
“Share each others troubles and problems and in this way obey the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2, NLT)
We are created to be in community. That’s why it is so important to be in a small group. We serve together, worship together, cry together, and learn together. Let’s do that right now, shall we?
Turn with me in your copy of God’s word to Psalm 142.
The Cave of Discouragement
I love David, as I suspect many of you do too. He was a man of great faith and vision, but also a man of great emotion. He was a man “after God’s own heart” but messed up royally. He was prone to discouragement and even depression. When he wrote this psalm he was on the run from King Saul. He was an outlaw and was being hunted like a wild animal. There are at least eight Psalms written by David while he was trying to escape Saul and his army. Because David wrote these Psalms down in a journal, we can actually pinpoint where and when they were written. Psalm 142 was written in the Cave of Adullam. This cave was a cavernous hole with an opening forty feet wide and twenty feet high. In I Samuel 22:1-2, we learn more about David’s time in the cave:
“David left Gath and escaped to the cave of Adullam. When his brothers and his father’s household heard about it, they went down to him there. All those who were in distress or in debt or discontented gathered around him, and he became their leader. About four hundred men were with him.” (I Sam 22:1-2)
A little background might be helpful. After David killed Goliath, he became a national hero. They even started singing songs about him: “Saul has slain his thousands, David his tens of thousands.” (I Samuel 18:7). This did not sit well with King Saul who in a fit of jealous rage, tried to kill David. (See I Samuel 18). David takes off and Saul’s army chases him through the back county of Israel. David heads south to Nob. Nob was home to a training center for priests. David lies to the head priest Ahimelech, eats the consecrated bread, and asks for a sword. The only sword they have was the one that David used to kill Goliath. He then heads to Gath.
Wait just a minute! He heads where? Anyone remember what ten foot tall champion was from the town of Gath? That’s right; this is Goliath’s hometown right in the heart of Philistine country. Perhaps David was hoping the people had forgotten about that little episode many years before. But they knew the story and they knew the sword. He was trapped but David was crafty. He pretends he crazy and the king kicked him out of town.
(Read I Samuel 21 for the whole sad story.)
Then David comes to the cave of Adullam. Picture the scene. David was tired of running and just wanted a place to hide and be alone. He finds a place in the cave of discouragement. Then four hundred people join him. Saul had laid a heavy tax on the people and many were in debt. They were grumblers. What a miserable lot! David, completely overwhelmed, took out his journal and began to write down his thoughts in a “maskil,” which is a form of poetry that is meant to instruct. The subscript above the Psalm tells us this is a prayer. His prayer is preserved for us to encourage our faith in the midst of our faltering.
What I love about the Psalms is that they speak to us right where we are. They are written by real people with real emotions like us. They help us to know that we are not alone in our troubles. Whether it is fear, temptation, anger, anxiety, lust, or discouragement, the Psalms lay bare our condition. It is to Psalm 142 that we turn now, and ask God to speak to us.
Prayer: God, please speak through your word. It is not my words that can change hearts, but Your holy words can. In Jesus Name, Amen.
I love ornaments, particularly penguin ornaments. I have penguins dancing, penguins singing, a whole penguin family, and even a penguin in a kayak. These ornaments make me smile. There are other ornaments that bring back memories and bring tears. I wonder if you have any of the following ornery ornaments on your tree this year.
I am thankful to David Jeremiah’s wonderful treatment of this text.
Distress signal
Listen to verses one and two again:
“I cry aloud to the Lord, I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy. I pour out my complaint before him, before him I tell Him my troubles.” (v 1-2)
Recently I saw a commercial in which a search plane spots “S…O…S” written in rocks on a small island. They land and find a man lying lifeless on the beach. When they move in to investigate, the man startles them and begins to laugh. His wife jumps out of the bushes and takes pictures of the whole scene. It had been a big set up. There was no really distress. Everyone laughs and then we are urged to use a certian company’s credit card.
As we read the beginning of this Psalm, it becomes obvious this is no laughing matter. David is in deep distress. He buries his head in his hands and begins to pray. He prays out loud. The Hebrew means to “call for help.” Look who he calls to – “The Lord.” This is the name Yahweh which means self-existent one. This is God’s covenant name. What is his request? David asks for “favor” or “pity.” He spills out his cry. The Hebrew for this phrase is vivid. It is the picture of a wound that is open and no one can stop the bleeding. David’s cry spills out of him in an unstoppable torrent. When we hear the word “complaint” our Western ears can think David is whining. This word is better translated “anxiety, lament, grief, or troubled thoughts.” David presents his troubles, or distress, before God alone.
David is in way over his head. He is in deep distress. Maybe that describes you this morning. If the truth was told, you are barely hanging on. You feel like you are losing it. What should you do if the ornament of distress is on your tree?
Disillusioned
Look at verse three with me.
“When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way. In the path where I walk men have hidden a snare for me.”
The Hebrew in this verse is fascinating. It literally means, “in the muffling of my spirit.” David’s brain is fuzzy. He is having trouble concentrating. He is overcome with emotion. The New American Standard Version translates this phrase, “when my spirit was overwhelmed within me.” He is surrounded, everyone is trying to trap him, and the suspense is messing with his sanity. He is disoriented and disillusioned. This is not the way it was supposed to turn out. Hadn’t he been anointed has king? Didn’t he slay the giant Goliath? Wasn’t he the rightful ruler of Israel? He was on the fast track to success! Then what in the world was he doing cowering in a cave?! It did not make sense and it made his brain hurt to try to figure it out.
David’s plight is similar to Joseph. The high school and junior high students have been studying the life of Joseph in the EDGE on Sunday mornings. One of the lessons from Joseph’s life was that things did not go according to his plans. Joseph was faithful to God but ended up forgotten in a prison cell for years. (for the full story see Genesis 37-50)
Moses, Daniel, Solomon, Elijah, Job, and the disciples of Jesus all knew the feeling of confusion that accompanies disillusionment.
Maybe you have this ornament on your tree this year – disillusionment. You look back on the year 2004 and think, “What happened, God?” Maybe you are not where you thought you would be at this point in your life. Perhaps you are questioning God’s timing. Your life is just not what you thought it would be.
What do you do?
Deserted
“Look to my right and see; no one is concerned for me. I have no refuge; no one cares for my life.” (v.4)
Do you remember this song from your childhood? “Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, and I’m going to eat some worms.” This is the ultimate song for a pity party. And that is right where David is. In Old Testament times, the defendants advocate would stand at his right hand as a witness. David sees no one standing for, or standing up for him. At one time the crowds cheered loudly for him. Now you can hear the crickets chirp. He is hiding in a cave, but even the cave is not a place of escape. David was ever on the move, and there is no refuge for a hunted man. David feels completely abandoned. Isn’t it strange, in a cave with over four hundred people, that David feels completely alone? How many of you know you can be alone in a crowd?
I remember hearing Deon Sanders give his testimony for the first time. One thing that struck me was that he said he felt completely alone. How is that possible? When he scored a touchdown eighty thousand people went crazy. He stood on a football field, surrounded by adoring fans, and felt completely alone in the universe.
Do you know that feeling? Do you feel deserted by your friends, family, even God?
What are we to do if we find this ornament on our tree this year?
Depressed
David becomes more morose as he moves on:
“Listen to my cry, for I am in desperate need.” (v. 6)
Again, David cries out but this is a “ringing cry of supplication.” He describes himself as being “brought very low.” The actual Hebrew words mean “an indentation in my soul.” Kenny Hinds loves to roller blade. One time he tried to jump an entire flight of stairs and landed head first. This is the actually helmet. If he had not been wearing his head gear, there would have been an indentation in his soul for sure.
That is how David felt. He was completely and utterly depressed. Wait, hold on a second. Christians are not supposed to be depressed. I heard the preacher on the TV tell me that just last week.
I am not at all sure what they do with the Scriptures though. The Bible is full of real people expressing real emotion. Psalm 69, 88, and 102 are all Psalms of despair. In Psalm 42 David wonders aloud:
“Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me?”
Job, Jonah, Moses, Peter all experienced times of depression. Jeremiah wrote an entire book of laments. Elijah asked God to kill him. Solomon begins Ecclesiastes with the words, “Meaningless! Meaningless!” Even Jesus experienced mind-numbing distress in the garden of Getheseme. The Amplified Bible puts it this way:
“He began to show grief and distress of mind and was deeply depressed. Then He said to them, ‘My soul is very sad and deeply grieved , so that I am almost dying of sorrow.” (Matthew 26:37-38)
The Bible presents realistic portraits of Biblical characters struggling with depression. It is not a sin for a Christian to be “down” or even “depressed.”
Vance Havner, a pastor and author, wrote that our Christian journey consists of three levels. First there are “mountain-top experiences” when you feel close to God and everything is going well. We all know this feeling. We go to camp or retreat and come home feeling like we are walking on air. Students learn this lesson every year after returning from Cedar Lake Winter Bible Conference. They are spiritually soaring and ready to win their world for Christ and then…real life brings them crashing down. The problem with theses experiences is that they are temporary. We come down from the mountain-top and then feel guilty because we can not recreate the feelings we had before. Most of life, Havner says, consists of “ordinary days.” This is the daily grind, walking the road. Then there are “dark days” when we “trudge through confusion, doubt, despair, and discouragement.” Havner cautions that these days can string out into months or even years before we begin to experience relief.
David was having a dark day, a very dark day. It doesn’t help matters that he surrounded by hundreds of depressed people. This is not a happy cave! It was dark, dank, and dismal – Pastor Brian would love this wouldn’t he?
Have you ever been there? It may surprise you to know that I have been in the cave of discouragement many times. Three or four times a week I write in my journal. Many of the entries are “ordinary days.” I have recorded a few mountain-top experiences. And, there are several entries this past year that I wrote while in the cave of discouragement.
At the risk of being very vulnerable, I would like to read you part of a journal entry I wrote Oct 2 of this year. This was one of my darkest days yet.
“ I have torn a ligament. Nothing I can do…it will take a while to heal. The doctor was very concerned about my other symptoms. He said I needed a colonoscopy. That blew me away! Then he gave me an article about colon cancer. I can not believe that I could have colon cancer. What is going on?! Why is this happening to me? Maxine cried. I am really quiet. Last night it rained and I couldn’t get my sunroof closed. I went on a scavenger hunt but got left behind. My back has been hurting. I just spilled salad all over my journal. I do not question God – He is not out to get me. This will all turn out ok. I am learning what it feels like to be out of control. I feel like I am carrying a flag and I got shot in the arm, then the shoulder but I was still running. But now I have been shot in the leg and the stomach. I can not run anymore. Satan has attacked my wife, my kids, and now me directly. Do I not have enough faith? Is it because of sin? Don’t really know how to feel or what to do. Even Brian said “WOW!” I am really discouraged.”
Can you relate? Have you been there before? Are you crushed in spirit? Do you have an indentation in your soul? Maybe you are there right now. When we find the ornament of depression on our tree, what should we do?
Defeated
David continues:
“rescue me from those who pursue me, for they are too strong for me. Set me free from my prison that I may praise your name,” (v. 6b,7)
The warrior-poet feels completely defeated. David begs God to save him from his enemies that are harassing him. They Hebrew for “strong” can be translated courageous, alert, bold, or solid. David has lost his courage. He actually feels like he is trapped in a dungeon. He is incarcerated in his troubles. David takes out his pen, turns the page in his journal and begins to write out the good and bad of his life. The bad obviously outweighs the good. When you feel defeated your ability to reason gets fuzzy. You see the world as “against you” and the glass as “half-empty.”
Do you know that feeling? Do you feel like you are in a losing battle and all that’s left is to put up the white flag of surrender? What are we to do if we find this ornament on our tree this year?
David’s Action Steps
We have come to the end of the Psalm, but not to the end of our learning for this morning. David felt distressed, disillusioned, deserted, depressed, and defeated. It looks pretty bleak. So far we have just asked the question “what do we do when we feel this way?” Well, fortunately, David does not leave us hanging in despair.. He gives us action steps to take when in the cave of discouragement. Let’s quickly scan back through the Psalm.
Action Steps
1. When David was in distress, what did he do? He prayed.
Look at verse 1 again. He “cries aloud.” He “lifts up his voice.” He “pours out his complaint.” He “tells God his troubles.” Verse five and verse six both record David’s cries to God. Notice that he does not run and tell others. He does not read a self-help book or watch Dr. Phil. He talks to God. He tells God that he is struggling. He is brutally honest and open before the Lord.
John Bunyan, the author of the classic “Pilgrim’s Progress,” wrote: “You can do more than pray after you have prayed, but you can not do more than pray until you have prayed.”
David encouraged constant, daily communication with God:
“But I call to God, and the Lord saves me. Evening, morning, and noon I cry out in distress and he hears my voice…cast all your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you…” (Psalm 55:16-17,22)
Peter echoes David’s words:
“Cast all your anxieties on Him (God) because He cares for you.” (I Peter 5:7)
Francois Fenelon, a seventeenth-century writer put it this way: “Tell God all that is in your heart, as one unloads one’s heart, its pleasure and pains, to a dear friend. Tell him your troubles, that he may comfort you…show him the wounds in your heart, that He may heal them.”
2. When David was disillusioned, what did He do? He remembered God has a plan for him.
.Look what he affirms: “…it is you who know my way.” In other words, “God, I do not get this at all but I know you have a plan and I will trust that plan.” This is very important – God is working out His Sovereign purposes in human history and we are part of the plot.
Jeremiah affirms God’s plans for you:
“For I know the plans I have for you…plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
And Paul writes with confidence:
“…that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Phil 1:6)
Solomon wrote in the book of Proverbs of the tension between God’s purposes and our private plans:
“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” (Proverbs 19:21)
God could have kept David out of the cave, but He didn’t. You see, God is not as much interested in making us happy as He is making us holy. David had to be in the cave to learn radical dependence on God so he could be the kind of king God wanted him to be.
In one of the most misquoted verses in the Bible, Paul speaks of God’s desire for our transformation:
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew, he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son…” (Romans 8:28)
God does mean to make us healthy, wealthy, and always happy. He wants to make you and I more like Jesus.
If you are disillusioned this morning take heart. God is in control and he is not on vacation. He knows the cave you are in and He wants to use these experiences in your life to grow you up to spiritually maturity. The purpose is in the process.
3. When David felt deserted, what did he do? He affirmed that he is never alone.
How did David deal with this? Look closely at verse 5:
“I cry to you, O Lord; I say “You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living.”
David had looked to his right and saw that “no one cared for his soul.” But he knew a deeper truth.
David says that he has no refuge. This word means “place of escape.” In verse five, he says that God IS his refuge, a shelter that provides safety.
“The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name will trust in you, for you Lord have never forsaken those who seek you.” (Psalm 9:9)
He also acknowledges God as his “portion” – the sustainer and preserver of his life. He also tells us that this provision is for the “land of the living.” This is not a reference to heaven, but to earth as we know it. In the land of the living, with its disappointments, discouragements, and distress, God will never leave Him alone.
Asaph, one of the writers of the Psalms, says it this way:
“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” (Psalm 73:26)
You may feel like you are all alone, even in a crowd. Even Jesus knew this feeling. On the cross, surrounded by a jeering crowd, He quoted Psalm 22:
“My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” (Psalm 22, Matthew 27:46, KJV)
You, my friend, are never alone. Jesus promised his disciples, and us:
“And surely I am with you until the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20)
If you are feeling deserted, can I encourage you today? Jesus is Immanuel which means “God with us.” He is with us and for us.
4. When David felt depressed, what did he do? He…he…
Hold on, I must have mixed up my sheets. It must be here somewhere. It isn’t. He does not tell us what to do at all. Maybe that is the preaching point. There is no easy, three step approach to dealing with depression. When Job cried out to God, he was answered by deafening silence. Depression can hit any of us and it is very difficult to rebound quickly. But that does not mean there is no hope.
“The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)
Maybe that describes you this morning. Your heart is shattered and your spirit is in tatters. But God is the great physician:
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3)
God wants to heal your hurting heart. He knows the depth of your pain. You may even have thought about taken your own life. There is hope! The writer of Psalm 42 cries out in pain:
“Why are you so downcast, O my soul? Why are you so disturbed within me?” (Psalm 42:5,11)
He then answers his own question with this refrain:
“Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.”
The writer is overwhelmed with sorrow and sees no way out, until he looks up. Let me read that verse again. “Put your hope in God…put your hope in God…put your hope in God ”
There is hope, just look to Jesus. He is the hope you are looking for. If your life is falling apart, put your hope in God. If your marriage is in trouble, put your hope in God. In you are in financial straits; put your hope in God. If the test does not come out the way you want, put your hope in God. When you think about ending it all, don’t! Put your hope in God!
Notice that David did not simply talk out his problems, but he wrote them out. Could 2005 be the year that you start journaling your journey with God?
5. When David felt defeated, what did he do? He praised God in the middle of his pain.
The Psalm, like most of the other entries in David’s journal, moves from pain to praise. That is what David says must be done. The only way to break out of the dungeon of defeat is through the power of praise:
David sees little hope, but he trusts that God will rescue him and there will be ample opportunity to praise his name. He will no longer be alone but the “righteous with gather about me because of your good to me.” David knows that God said he would be king so He will somehow get him out of this jam. And when God delivers him what a story they will have to tell of God’s goodness.
When we are down, it is easy to mouth the words to worship songs. Sometimes we have to force ourselves to worship. That’s what Habakkuk did. In one of my favorite Old Testament verses, Habakkuk worshipped even when everything was falling apart:
“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vine, though the olive crops fail and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.” (Habakkuk 3:17-18)
In just a minute we are going to close with a song and you will have an opportunity to praise God in the midst of your pain.
One More Ornament
Right after Maxine’s mother died, Patrick and I were standing in his office. He handed me a box with a very special Christmas ornament in it. Royal Treasure, the ministry founded by Maxine’s mom, gave these out as Christmas presents. Many Chinese pastors are arrested for preaching the Gospel. Once arrested these pastors are used for slave labor, including the assembling of Christmas lights. It is a beautiful handed painted, from the inside, ornament that has the Chinese symbol for faith. It depicts believers arriving at a house church. It is a reminder that even in times of desperate suffering the hope of the gospel still shines bright.
Pastor Wu Wei Chun spent 23 years of his life in prison for preaching this hope. I would like to read you what he wrote shortly before he died two years ago:
“I was arrested and sentenced to life in prison in 1984, but I am happy and not afraid because I know what I do will please God and bring glory to his name. The police beat me badly and I had to do hard labor every day for at least sixteen hours, but the Lord was with me. He gives me peace that no one in this world can take away. I got used to all the suffering and I could smile in my heart even when they beat me.”
The famous French writer, Paul Claudel, once said that “Christ did not come to do away with suffering; He did not come to explain it; He came to fill it with His Presence.”
One day, we will put these other ornaments away for good. Even after Christmas mourning, do you have the hope of Christ? Do you know Him? Remember, church is the place to be real. Do you really know this love?
I would like to end this morning with us singing a very familiar praise song, “You are My All in All.” As we sing, some may need to just pray and pour out their anxieties to God. Others may need to affirm that God’s ways are higher than ours and that you trust his plans for you. Still some need to realize they are not alone. There are a few in here you need to admit you are depressed and that it is ok to be so. Many of us need to sing with our mouths and hope our hearts will follow. For a special few, God is calling to you. As you sing “Jesus, Lamb of God, Worthy is Your name,” you will realize that you do not have the hope of Jesus. Call upon Him for salvation.
