David A. Slagle, from Lawrenceville, Georgia, tells a wild story about an experience he had: “I served as a nurse in the operating room for several years. One day a couple arrived, both with gunshot wounds. He had awakened late for his first day on the job because his wife did not set the alarm. He expressed his displeasure by shooting her in the arm. Not to be outdone, she retreated to another room, got a shotgun, and shot him in the arm. As I gathered their paperwork in the preoperative unit, I heard something one would only expect to hear in a country song. Separated by a deputy sheriff and handcuffed to their respective stretchers, the husband began: ‘I love you, baby, and I’m sorry I shot you.’ The wife responded, ‘I love you too, baby, and I’m sorry I shot you.’”
There seems to be an epidemic of anger these days. Some people seem to be constantly angry and are always peeved. Some wear a constant angry look that makes you realize that there is a smoldering inferno inside. Some are rageaholics — they are addicted to rage and don’t know how to live without it. They use their anger to control other people and get their way. A recent article reported on Dr. Emil Coccaro, a researcher and professor of psychiatry at the University of Chicago Hospitals, who has been studying anger for several decades. The article stated: “He says that many hotheads suffer from Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED). [Oh good Now we have a new disorder on which we can blame our behavior ] Dr. Coccaro is championing a new drug called Depakote, introduced by Abbott Laboratories in 1995. Interestingly, an effort to find volunteers with volatile tempers for the clinical studies has been unproductive. Apparently, few people see their anger as a problem.” I suppose that if you tried to convince some of these people they had a problem you would get whacked. It is interesting that Dr. Coccaro is trying to treat this disorder with drugs. That seems to be the way we attack all our problems in America — just get a better pill.
But Jesus has another solution to the problem of anger. He began by saying that it is not enough just to talk about not murdering people. The solution must go deeper than that, and it must get at the problem long before we reach the place where we want to kill someone. Jesus reaffirmed that it was wrong to murder, but he added to the command in a way that made it much more far reaching. Jesus’ teaching about anger said, first of all, that: Murder begins as an attitude in the heart. Here again the new righteousness of Jesus comes to the forefront. The old righteousness just said, “Keep the rules.” The new righteousness says, “You must have a new heart.” Why is this important? Because all wrong actions begin with wrong attitudes. It is in the heart that the devil plants the seed of anger. And he does what he can to nurture that seed to make sure it grows. He takes a hurt and turns it into hatred. The heart is the beginning place of all evil, for every evil act begins with an evil attitude. Someone has said, “Sow a thought and you reap an act; sow an act and you reap a habit; sow a habit and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap a destiny.”
You will remember the day that the Pharisees came to Jesus complaining that his disciples did not rinse their hands before they ate. Jesus said to them, “What goes into a man’s mouth does not make him ‘unclean,’ but what comes out of his mouth, that is what makes him ‘unclean’” (Matthew 15:11). When his disciples asked him to explain, he said, “Don’t you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man ‘unclean.’ For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander” (Matthew 15:17-19). Having a pure heart is much more difficult than having pure actions. Many people can control their outward actions enough to fool the people around them, but if you saw into their heart you might see something quite different. For instance, you can hide the anger you have for another person. You can even treat them in a way that makes them believe that you like them very much, while all the time you are demeaning them in your heart, calling them names, or even wishing they were dead. Jesus talked against being a hypocrite and putting on a front. Wearing a mask and living for Christ is incompatible. Jesus was saying that if you want your life to be free from sin, you must not only make sure that you do not murder people, you must stop despising them in your heart. You must give up your anger toward them. You must stop calling them names. More than all that, you must love them. The Bible says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4).
“The heart of the matter is a matter of the heart.” Jesus said, “The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45). A bad heart wants to do bad things. Wrong thoughts look for an opportunity to express themselves. You might be all neat and tidy on the outside, but what about the inside? Jesus spoke against the Pharisees with their emphasis on outward righteousness saying, “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness” (Matthew 23:27-28). They missed the concept on an inner righteousness and having a new heart.
Anyone here nursing a grudge? Anyone have a rotten attitude about people? Is there anyone here who is harboring anger? Anyone here in the grip of bitterness and an unforgiving spirit? Jesus is talking to you today. All of us have had an angry thought, or even had trouble forgiving someone for a brief time, but the problem comes when we harbor resentment and nurse a grudge. Jesus is saying that you are on a road that can lead to disaster. You will probably not murder someone, but your anger can be just as consuming. You may not commit a murder, but every murder has begun in this way. The person who murdered someone has started where you are now. Sometimes the only difference between ourselves and someone who has actually committed murder is the courage to carry it out — overcoming the fear of being found out or being punished. The only difference could be timing or opportunity. Your anger may seem like a small thing to you, but every big thing has begun as a small thing. And Jesus is saying that this unresolved anger is a big thing. Giving place to anger and bitterness is still a sin, and you are liable to the judgment if you let it continue. God sees everything that is there. The Bible tells us that, “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7).
In this new kind of righteousness, Jesus teaches us a second lesson about anger: Anger grows as we express it in insults and cursing. Jesus said, “But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, ‘You fool ’ will be in danger of the fire of hell” (Matthew 5:22). Raca was a word which meant “worthless,” or “empty one.” It could be interpreted as “empty-headed” or “stupid.” The word Jesus used for fool was a word which carried the idea of a fool in the sense of someone having low morals. It is the word from which we get our degrading word “moron,” but it meant more. It carried the idea that someone was a moral moron — a slut, a ho, a degenerate, a deviate, a perv. It amazes me that name calling and put downs have become an art in our culture — even among Christians. Our television is full of programs that slam people and use a wide variety of words and phrases that reduce people to “jerks,” or worse names that are not even appropriate to mention.
This is often seen when we drive. We curse people and call them names from the privacy of our cars. We feel superior to the other drivers who offend us. We don’t see them as real human beings, and the problem is that we don’t sense that what we are doing is wrong. And what about the times you get into an argument and you begin the name calling. Then, as the anger progresses into insults and name calling, the anger escalates. We use denigrating terms for people who differ from our political views, as well as people who are of a different social, racial, educational or economic group.
The reason that Jesus said a person was in danger of the judgment at this point is that it is a basic devaluation of the worth of a human being. We who say we are against abortion because we are convinced of the value of human life seem to miss the significance of Jesus’ words here. Here is where the value of human life begins — in the heart — and when human life is devalued in any way it is an affront to the God who created that life. Do we, or do we not, believe in the value of every human life? Do we, or do we not, believe that every person is a creation of God and is important to him? How can we curse that which God has created? As we insult others, the anger in our hearts grows — as does the danger of judgment.
In this new kind of righteousness, Jesus teaches us a third lesson about anger: Anger ends by means of reconciliation. Anger is wrong because it does not have forgiveness and reconciliation as its goal. Anger has to do with getting even, setting someone straight, settling the score. It is wrong because it is the opposite of love whose goal is to forgive, build up, give value to, encourage, enhance dignity and bring about reconciliation. Anger puts down and pushes away, love builds up and draws near. But what is the solution to anger? Jesus taught that anger ends when we seek reconciliation.
Jesus takes a turn here, because in Matthew 5:21-23 he talks about our anger toward other people, but in verses 24-26 the focus changes. He said, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift” (Matthew 5:23-24). He was saying that if someone thinks he has a reason to be angry with us, then we are to place our gift in front of the altar, not on it. In other words, stop your attempt to worship, and go and be reconciled to the person who has something against you. Someone has said that if this happened in actuality, it would empty every church in America.
Why is this so important in the teaching of Jesus? Because a right relationship with God can never be separated from right relationships with other people. They are inextricably linked. A bad relationship with another person will interfere with your relationship with God. Sometimes you cannot help the way someone feels about you. In fact, the Bible says, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:17-18). Sometimes it is possible and sometimes it is not. Sometimes your efforts to bring about a reconciliation will work wonderfully and surprisingly; sometimes you will be surprised that they have no affect on the other person. But you are obligated to do what you can do. You are to look for opportunities. Love will find a way. Paul went on to say, “Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord. On the contrary: ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:19-21). We are not to be passive about ruined relationships. We are to be intentionally proactive — even if we believe it will do not good.
The great thing is that, as Christians, we know there is Someone who is looking out for us, helping us and working on our behalf. Reconciliation is the heartbeat of Christ. It is what sent him to the cross — and we are to be like him. The Bible says, “Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else” (1 Thessalonians 5:15). We don’t have to worry about paying someone back or teaching them a lesson. That is the work of God. He has said, “It is mine to avenge, I will repay.” You can trust him to bring about ultimate justice. Remember that it is not your job. You have to leave this in his hands, and if you take it out of his hands and try to do it on your own, yours is the only justice they will receive. As far as God is concerned their account is settled. But when you do good to them, you find the favor of God on your life, and in so doing your actions may convict them and bring them to God, and back to you as well. Trust that God will bring about justice and leave it in his hands. Jesus said, “And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?” (Luke 18:7-8). Will there be those who trust him?
The Bible says, “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold” (Ephesians 4:26-27). Anger which is allowed to linger allows the devil to get a foothold in your life. And when you give him control by permitting anger in your life you will be in a prison that you may never get out of. Learning to forgive can be the most freeing thing that will ever happen to you.
Amy Biehl died a violent death in 1993. She was a 26-year-old Fulbright scholar who had gone to South Africa to help register black voters for their first free election. But even though she was seeking to help the people of South Africa, as she was driving one day, she was dragged out of her car, stabbed and beaten to death by a mob which was committed to violence in order to overthrow of the apartheid government. Soon afterward, Amy’s parents, Linda and Peter Biehl, quit their jobs and moved from their Orange County, California home to South Africa — not to seek revenge, but to start a foundation in Amy’s name. Today, two of her killers work for the foundation. They call Mrs. Biehl “Makhulu,” or grandmother, because of the way she treats them. She says, “Forgiving is looking at ourselves and saying, ‘I don’t want to go through life feeling hateful and revengeful, because that’s not going to do me any good.’ We took Amy’s lead. We did what we felt she would want.”
That is the picture of reconciliation. It not only forgives, it reaches out to restore. It pays back good for evil. It is following the heart and character of God, for the Bible says, “All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation” (2 Corinthians 5:18-19). I am so grateful that God made the sacrifice to reconcile me to himself in spite of all that I have done, and now I want to follow Jesus and offer that same reconciliation to others — even those who may have harmed me.
Rodney J. Buchanan
February 6, 2005
Mulberry St. UMC
Mount Vernon, OH
www.MulberryUMC.org
Rod.Buchanan@MulberryUMC.org
Dealing with Anger
(Questions for February 6, 2005)
1. How do you see anger operating in our society?
2. How do people in our culture try to handle their anger?
3. How does Christ ask us to handle our anger? How does this apply to the new kind of righteousness he taught?
4. Read Matthew 15:11-19. Where does anger begin? What can we do about this?
5. Why is it so difficult for some people to let go of anger? What helps?
6. Read Philippians 2:3-4. How could this help us if we followed Paul’s advise?
7. Read Matthew 23:27-28. What is Jesus’ concern as expressed in these verses?
8. Read Matthew 5:21-22. Why do insults and name calling put us in danger of the judgment?
9. Read Matthew 5:23-26. How can we put the principle of reconciliation into practice?
10. Read Ephesians 4:26-27. What happens on the spiritual level when we allow resentment to take up residence in our lives.
