The Chapel of Dismas The Repentant
Sinner
A place where we know that the church of Jesus is an evolving, transforming and liberating clinic
for sinners and not a museum for the self righteous
AA 5/38-40 Lk.23 42-44
The family is the barometer by which we can gauge the health of our faith community and society in general. The family is designed to be a community of love with the fundamental mission to be a catalyst of love in society. Familial love has three distinct tasks; to heal the wounds and scars of the soul, to sustain each other in times of trials and tribulations and to facilitate emotional and spiritual growth. The family is an institution created by God and sanctified by the Savior In fact it is the very first institution that was hallowed by the Liberator. By submitting himself to the love and guidance of Mary and Joseph, Our Lord and Liberator consecrated the sacred household in Nazareth and enabled it to become an eternal example of conjugal love, parental wisdom and domestic holiness.
We who bear the precious name of Christian must cherish and strive to nourish the family. We must initiate this process by working on our own families. We must examine, cultivate and enhance both our families of origin and our families of commitment. This exhortation to focus on the family has not only spiritual but also sociological implications. In fact the very existence of our society is contingent upon our willingness to preserve the family and to facilitate authentic scriptural based family values
There are historians and sociologist who contends that throughout recorded history the collapse of every civilization was precipitated by a decline in family values. If this contention is valid and if we believe that statistics are compelling indicators of current trends than we have reason to fret about the health and durability of our existing civilization. Current statistics indicate that 50% of marriages end in divorce. In our society the pain of adultery and the dangers of promiscuity are consistently minimized. The abuse, neglect and exploitation of our children shamefully increase every year. Domestic violence has reached epidemic proportion. Teenage and extramarital pregnancies remain pervasive. The state sanction holocaust of abortions, which justified the extermination of an entire class of our citizens, continues to contaminate the very soul of our nation. One evangelist speculated that if God does not punish 21st century America, He will have to apologize to Sodom and Gomorrah. In light of these frightening statistics, it is clear that Americans in general and Christians in particular must address and examine these issues of family values.
One of the greatest myths of our age is that there is such an entity as an ideal functional family. Not true. I believe that the most functional aspect of any family is that God’s divine presence, example and grace is there to bless and adjust that which is made dysfunctional by our human failing, agendas and deceptions. The scriptures remind us that Jesus grew up in a home that knew sorrow as well as holiness and joy. The family of Nazareth is far from ideal. It was initiated by a pre-marital pregnancy. I am certain that proclaiming that their pregnancy came about through divine intervention was probably no more credible in rural Nazareth than it would be in any of our villages or municipalities. The scriptures tell us that the Holy Family became homeless refugees due to the oppressive policies and actions of the ruling government. We are told that they had to make a five-day journey through the North African desert, a desert that proved to be a challenge for every army from Alexander the Great to Field Marshal Erwin Rommel. Imagine how difficult it was for this humble immigrant family. Living the lifestyle of a rural villager in the hills of Nazareth would have had its share of hardships. They dealt with poverty, empty stomachs, deprivation and discomfort. They were overtaxed and exploited by an oppressive occupying government. God did not spare them from pain and turmoil but he gave them the strength of character to bear the pain. Can we expect anything different? Therefore we can look to the holy family of Nazareth in those times when we experience domestic sorrow or turmoil.
Let us look at the members of this Nazarene Family that was sanctified by the presence of the Liberator. Let us begin with Joseph, a skilled industrious craftsman who dedicated himself to the care, protection and love of his family. The scriptures tell us that he did what he had to do to protect his family from all external threats. It was this pious Jew who taught the torah, prophets and Jewish rituals to Him who was the fulfillment of the Hebrew Scriptures. It was this skilled craftsman who taught a marketable trade to the Liberator of the World. It was this righteous man who gave his child the name by which we are all saved. Joseph accepted the awesome responsibility to protect and provided for Him who was the Lord of the Universe.
We all know that being a responsible parent and spouse is seldom an easy task. I am convinced that there is no vocation in life more challenging or rewarding . In this day and age it is not uncommon for those blessed with this very special vocation to often feel neglected, overwhelmed and unappreciated. But in this era when the temptation to abandon our commitments for the sake of self centered or self fulfilling behavior is so great we can look at the life and ministry of Joseph of Nazareth as a constant reminder that the true content of character is revealed by the degree to which we keep our commitments. It was instilled in me as a child that a man never stood taller than when he stooped to serve his spouse and children. It appears that Joseph was a giant of a man who was constantly striving to meet the needs of his special family. We can only imagine the pain, humiliation and anger that Joseph felt when he discovered that his virgin fiancé was pregnant but the scriptures tell us that even before God revealed to him that Mary’s child was conceived by divine intervention, Joseph had every intention of being faithful to his original commitment. Despite his pain and doubt Joseph elected to do what he knew was right and just. Joseph is designated as the patron of husbands, fathers and providers He is an example of true manliness because he was always faithful to his commitments and responsibilities. He was a promise keeper. Every brother in this sacred assembly must seek the grace to imitate Joseph of Nazareth in our awesome responsibility to be promise keepers. Every Christian father and husband should seek the grace that will enable him to imitate Joseph starting your day with the Liberator, working for and with the Christ and ending your day in the presence of the All Holy One.
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Let us now look at Mary the mother of the Liberator. The heart of every family should be the mother. It was once said that there is still some degree of good in the most vicious of men so long as his mother is still alive. Few scriptural characters have generated as much controversy and discord over the past five centuries, as has Mary.
Let me initiate this discussion by clearly proclaiming that it is erroneous to believe that Roman Catholics worship or adore Mary the mother of Jesus. Throughout the centuries, misguided and non-malicious piety may have over emphasized the role of Mary of Nazareth. It is and always has been a dogma of the Roman Catholic Church that Jesus and He alone is the Savior of the World, the one and only mediator between sinful mankind and the All Holy God. Orthodox Catholic dogma has always proclaimed that Jesus in communion with the Father and the Holy Spirit is the sole object of all worship and adoration. I can safely conclude that despite the misinformed allegations to the contrary. There is not a single Roman Catholic parish throughout the world where, Mary is worshiped or adored.
As disciples of the Liberator we must proclaim and celebrate the revealed truth that Mary of Nazareth is the Mother of God. The most ancient title for this simple woman is that of Theotopkos which means God bearer. When we proclaim that this humble Semitic teenager became the Mother of God, we are simply reaffirming the most basic and most beautiful dogmas of our faith, namely, that The Most High God humbled himself to share in our humanity that we might one day share in his divinity .We must never forget or fail to share with others, that Mary did indeed play a very significant role in bringing about the Christ event, the paschal mystery of our salvation. When this poor young Jewish teenager uttered her grace inspired act of faith." Let it be done to me according to your Will." the most marvelous event that ever occurred in the history of our planet took place; the eternal God of Mercy and Love was conceived in the womb of this unwed teenager. Because of her great faith and her willingness to respond to the grace of God, the nerves, muscles and tissue of her teenage uterus became the Living Tabernacle of the Most High God.
Now you sisters, who have been blessed with motherhood or a pregnancy for that matter, can appreciate far better than I or any other male in this congregation, the very intimate and special bond that exist between a mother and her child. And therefore you can appreciate the special bond that has always existed between Jesus and His mother.
Just think about it, for nine months, she bore in her womb, He who would bear the sins of the world. She nourished from her tender teenage body, He who is he Bread of Life. She delivered from her virginal womb, He who would deliver you and me from the wages of sins and death. And when this teenage mother kissed her newborn child, she was actually kissing the face of God.
I am proud of my Roman Catholic tradition and will never apologize for those orthodox beliefs and practices that introduced me to the God of my childhood. I believe the ancient and venerable practice of honoring the mother of Jesus is proper and righteous. I also believe that she is the most blessed of all creatures simply because no creature has ever had such an intimate relationship with our Blessed Liberator as did this simple poor Jewish teenager. But above all she is to be honored because Mary is a model of faith in as much as she not only believed in her beloved Jesus but she also dedicated her entire existence to the person and ministry of her Son and Savior.
There is one more issue concerning the Holy Family of Nazareth that requires a passing comment and that is the question of the brothers and sisters of Jesus. Volumes have been composed upon whether or not Jesus had actual siblings. There are numerous linguistic studies on the Greek terms of adelphos and anepsios. One of the finest scholarly works on this query is A Marginal Jew by John Meier. I do not entertain for one second any of the stereotypes about the members of this sacred congregation. It is my strong contention that not one of us can worship the God of Truth and despise academics. Therefore I encourage you to take time and review some of these works on this subject and form your own opinion.
For me the question is irrelevant. The existence of the biological siblings of Our Blessed Liberator has absolutely no impact upon my eternal salvation. I am only concerned about Mary’s first born. I sometime visit the religious chat-rooms, which have become so prevalent on the Internet. It has proven to be a quite entertaining experience and a very fine reminder that radical militant Islam has no monopoly on the lethal trinity of self-righteousness, belligerent intolerance and misinformation. In some of these chat-rooms, there appears to be an ongoing dispute between Protestant fundamentalist and Catholic apologists on the perpetual virginity of Mary and thus the subsequent existence of biological siblings of the Liberator. My common response to these passionate proponents of both positions is that if it is really such a crucial issue of your faith that you are willing to verbally assault your siblings in the Lord, than wait until you meet Jesus and than you can ask him specific questions about the sexual history of His mother. Enough said on that matter.
During this time, when so many family values are being confronted and minimized, we must seek the grace that will enable us to imitate the holy family of Nazareth. We must make Jesus the center and most important person in our family. We must recognize that each and every member of the family is a precious child of the living God. Our respect for the dignity of each person must be extended outside the nuclear family. It must include in a very special way our family of origin, our extended families, our faith community and the community at large. We must strive to treat each and every person in the same manner that the historical Mary, Joseph and Jesus would have treated that person. We must be willing to forgive those family members who have hurt us. This is often a very challenging demand since the pain inflicted upon us by those who are supposed to love and protect us is often the most traumatic and thus difficult to forgive.
Before we go on with our message, permit me to ask these questions: Do you teach your children to pray? Do you instill Christian values in your children? Do these values reflect the authentic gospel of the Savior or your personal political agenda? Does your spouse know how much he or she is needed, loved or appreciated? Do you honor your living parents? Do you pray for your deceased parents? Have you sought the grace to forgive that member of your family of origin, extended family or family of commitment who has hurt you the most? The temporal and eternal survival of your family may be dependent upon how you answer these questions.
. Besides being a priest of Jesus Christ, to date, the greatest joys of my life have been being a father and a grandfather. I particularly enjoy my role as grandfather because now I can pamper and spoil my grandchildren in all those wonderful ways that responsible parents would never dream of doing. And every grandparent in this congregation knows exactly what I am talking about.
Parenthood has taught me many wonderful lessons about love, responsibility and life in general. It has certainly taught me patience and tolerance. It has taught me to pick my battles carefully. It has made me quite aware that older sisters and little brothers are practically two distinct species, like ponies and kittens. They have no natural inclination to associate with or to tolerate each other. I have also learned that the only thing young children will share without a struggle is communicable disease and the most embarrassing data about their parents.
Being a parent has made me cognizant of the fact that the family remains the primary place where we encounter God on a daily basis. I have also come to realize that there is nothing that will help us understands our beliefs and commitments more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child. However one of the most precious lessons of fatherhood has been that it has intensified my appreciation for my own parents. I am certain that the joys and trials of parenthood has enabled every member of this faith community to appreciate the love, dedication, sacrifices and yes the mistakes of our own parents. .
Children are by far our most precious gift. It is my contention that the most sacred occurrence in the most hallowed of sanctuaries will always be more blessed by the authentic joy and innocent laughter of children. Young persons are 33% of our population and 100% of our future. Every single child comes into this world with a very clear and distinct message that the Father of all Mercies is not yet totally discouraged with us.
These precious offerings of children have been given to us for the sole purpose of loving them and instilling in them the values on which their future and that of our society will be built. Do not underestimate the significance of these parenting years; our impact upon our children and grandchildren may rank as our greatest accomplishments in this lifetime. What an awesome responsibility has been given to each of us who have been honored with the title of parent or grandparent.
Over 1500 years ago, John Chrysostom stated that responsible Christian’s parents are the greatest of all artists because they do not simply generate a limited product on a perishable canvas but they have the opportunity to impart Christ Jesus upon an immortal and impressionable soul. History has taught all of us that who we are will always have far more of an impact upon our children and grandchildren than what we say. Young persons will not always follow our verbal instructions but they never fail to imitate us. Our children regardless of their age will always have a far greater need for a model than a critic. They will learn what they observe. If they live with criticism they will learn to condemn and be judgmental. If they live with hostility they will learn to be angry and combative. If they live with fairness they will learn justice. If they live with acceptance and encouragement they will learn to seek the good in their environment.
We have an awesome responsibility to teach our children. We as parents and grandparents will always be the most important educators in their lives. The most valuable lesson that we can teach them is that they are precious children of the living God. We must constantly remind them that they have an intrinsic worth in so much as if they were the only person on the face of the earth, the Liberator would have still carried out his redemptive work just for them. That is why he is a personal savior. We must teach them that the most essential implication of the universal paternity of God is that every other human shares their innate dignity which requires that they be treated with respect and as brothers and sisters.
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There was much talk in the last election about family values. Let me state as strongly as I can that hate, intolerance, aggressiveness, greed or judgmental arrogance are never family or Christian values. Since Hell is described as the eternal absence of God than it is my strong conviction that the deepest part of hell is reserved for those who teach children how to hate. (Perhaps that place in hell may be shared with the Pentagon pimps who invented the concept of body counts in the sixties)
One of our most awesome parental responsibilities is to instill into those entrusted to our care the necessity to recognize the intrinsic worth of every person who has been created, librated and sanctified by our One Living God. Those we encounter must be assessed solely by their character and the content of their heart not by the color of skin, who they love, what they wear, where they live, what they believe or what labels others have placed upon them. It is my strong conviction that if we as parents and grandparents strive to instill these scriptural based implications concerning universal paternity of God and social justice in our children than civilization certainly has a fighting chance. .
As we all know children do not come with directions. Parenting requires a great deal of flexibility and ingenuity. Do not try to fashion the perfect child, he or she would be quite out of place in this world of ours. I enjoy being reminded that the most perfect parents of all time, God, would have to admit that his first two children Adam and Eve turned out to be less than perfect. We should never insist that they fulfill any bourgeoisie stereotype or expectation since every child is born to stand out and actualize their own innate potential. By far the most important thing we can do for our children and grandchildren is to emphasize to them on a daily basis by words and actions that they are loved, cherished and wanted.
Let us touch on the issue of our family of origin. We all have skeletons in our extended family tree. This is probably more applicable to the blessed members of this sacred congregation than most other congregations. But if we look at the tedious genealogy of the Liberator contained in Matthew’s gospel, we can see that the Liberator had skeletons in his family closet as well. Tamar pretended to be a prostitute. (Gen 38) Rehab was a prostitute in Jericho (Joshua 2) Bathsheba committed adultery with David who had her husband murdered (2 Sam 11) The clear message about family histories is that the God of mercy has the unique and mysterious ability to transform complications into blessings Where we come from will definitely have an impact upon who we are but it will never be the sole factor in determining our identify or destiny. Our own dysfunctional past does not have to determine how we treat our spouses and children. We always have the opportunity to break the cycle of dysfunction. In the event that members of your family of origin have intentionally or unintentionally hurt or traumatized you than I invite you to seek the grace to forgive them. Forgiving them will do much more for you than for the perpetrators.
Now let us spend a few moments on the challenging subject of relationships. When the Liberator wishes to describe the love he has for his disciples, it is interesting that he does not use the analogy of ordained ministry but rather he hold up the sacred relationship between two committed lovers as the living icon of his love for his people Personally I can understand this for without a doubt, I have witnesses far more manifestations of Christ like love, sacrifice and fidelity among those who have been blessed with the precious vocation of marriage than I have from my clerical brothers. That is simply my impression and should not be taken as a blanket reflection on the character of the ordained.
The Lord God knew that it was not good for us to be alone, so in his infinite wisdom and love, he has blessed some of us with a mate, a life long partner to share our joy, pain, our accomplishments and our failures. I often share my perception that the day we were placed in our mother’s womb, the Lord God selected a soul mate, a life long partner for us. It is our responsibility to seek the grace and wisdom that will enable us to conduct that search for our beloved in a healthy and spiritual fashion. When and if we find that person, the sacred text calls upon us to emerge from our family of origin and to create our own family, a community of commitment, our own community of love. Furthermore, the scriptures exhort us to become attached to our beloved in such an intimate and loving way that we will be considered as one. Your partner must become the most important person in your life, your primary neighbor the flesh of your flesh and your lover for life. Your beloved must become and remain the object of your love, energy and affection.
Those of you who have been called to conjugal love are invited to enter into a lifelong sacred covenant, a covenant of mutual love, fidelity and respect. It is Yahweh, Himself, who is the Author of this sacred covenant. It is the Liberator who will sanctify and sustain this covenant of love. Your marriage is a vocation, a call from the Lord God Himself. God is inviting you to participate in His divine work of creation, redemption and sanctification. Those of you who have been given this wonderful gift of conjugal love have the responsibility to participate in the process of sanctifying your partner. You are assuming partial responsibility, for the sanctification, spiritual growth and the eternal destiny of the one you have professed to love more than any other creature on the face of the earth. What a challenge!
It is my contention as a clinician as well as a minister of the gospel that the greatest threat to your commitment is the person you are committed to and they can say the exact same thing about you. . Each of us falls in love with sinners who will need forgiveness and will require much patience. There will be times when you do not want to be in the same state let alone the same bed as your beloved. There will be times when betrayal, rejections, selfishness, human failure or simply human evil will threaten your very soul as well as your commitment. Conjugal Christ like love requires an abundance of patience, endurance and forgiveness.
Our love no matter how passionate, intense or creative will never be sufficient enough to sustain the total demands and complexities of an intimate committed relationship. Perfect love exists only in the Trinity. I know for a fact that my love contaminated with all my personal agendas, needs and wants would never be strong or pure enough to sustain any commitment I may make. It is only God’s eternal, unconditional and universal love as manifested in and through the life and sacrificial ministry of the Liberator that has the potential to lead us along the path to eternal salvation and to enable us to commit and to love in a divine fashion. . When we realize that we are loved by the immortal God than and only than can we have the courage to say “O Lord teach me how to love the way you love.” Divine love is gratuitous, gentle, merciful, active and powerful and it is manifested in self-sacrifice. .
Conjugal love is never easy because it demands that we love our beloved the way that Christ loves his disciples, which means that we must die to self in order to live with and for our beloved. This exhortation may not fit in well with many of the current psychologies on relationships and self esteem but nonetheless it is the exhortation of the divine Liberator of mankind who can neither deceive nor be deceived. To love in a Christ like manner is to deny your own needs, wants and agenda whenever they conflict with the overall well-being, spiritual development and sanctification of your beloved. When we love in a Christ like fashion we endure the weaknesses and failings of our beloved, just as the Liberator endured and continues to endure the weakness and failings of his beloved. Christ like love is patient, kind, unconditional, enduring and above all forgiving. This evangelical mandate to forgive as we are forgiven must never be misinterpreted as a call to tolerate abusive, exploitive, manipulative or humiliating behavior. This is no evangelical challenge to be masochistic.
Couples will confront numerous uncertainties and far too many unexpected events but three will always be the assurance that the Liberator will be the third and most important person in our relationship. The Savior has promised to be part of your relationship but he will never impose Himself upon you. There are many couples who have made the deliberate decision to exclude Jesus, His gospel and his grace from all or parts of their relationship. I usually see these people in my other life during the week. But if you remain open to His healing presence, He will be there with you and for you and will bestow upon your union his divine grace spirit and forgiveness. This presence will certainly not guarantee you a stress free relationship or any form of exemption form life’s innate hardships. No family is immune from the tragedies and trials of life. The Savior never promised any of us an easy, utopian, idyllic life but He provides us with the blessed assurance that we can survive simply because we are not alone. Have you made that concrete decision to make Jesus of Nazareth the third and most important person in your relationship? If not do it today.
They have a name for spouses who do not communicate in an open and honest fashion, they are called divorcees. Spouse must be willing to communicate all their needs, wants, suspicions, fears and concerns to their beloved. One of the most prominent factors in the destruction of relationship is the delusion that one’s partner has been blessed with the gift of mind reading. Communicate in an open and honest fashion. Trust and honesty is essential in any relationship it is mandated in a conjugal intimate relationship.
Holding on to resentments can only harm your love and retard your spiritual growth and development. There are certain behaviors that may never be tolerated in a relationship. These changeable behaviors must be confronted, processed and used as learning experience. I am a strong believer that if we can learn form a mistake, it destructive impact can be greatly diminished. If one refuses to change certain dangerous or destructive behaviors, proper interventions must be taken to secure the physical, emotional and spiritual well being of all parties involved. Again there is no evangelical call to be a victim or a masochist.
Be mindful that sensitivity is the essence of sensuality and spirituality. One must always be sensitive to the needs, wants and boundaries of their beloved. If you are willing to accept the challenges of living in a committed exclusive relationship with your beloved and if you are willing to undertake this sacred responsibility with a willingness to trust in the Lord and to imitate his way of loving than you shall discover that there is no force in the universe, which is more beautiful or more powerful than Christ-like love. If you seek the grace to imitate the love of God and His Christ, than be assured that no outside force will ever destroy your love not even death. I know that death can not destroy true love it simply enables the lover to die in peace.
To Jesus be all honor praise and glory both now and forevermore.
