Keeping the Main Thing the Main Thing
2. Loving Each Other Through Small Groups
January 15/16, 2005
Don Jaques
MAIN POINT: In small groups, every person can experience and give out the love for each other we’ve been commanded to show.
INTRO:
A few years ago at a small groups conference they told the story of a church that looked as though they were really thriving: they had about 500 people attending, and had many outreach ministries reaching their community, and many people were coming to Christ and to church through their ministry.
The problem was that the church was not growing in numbers – people were leaving as quickly as they were coming in. They began to do some research on the people who were leaving and they found that the majority who left were not attending another church, they just stopped going to church all together. They realized that although the church was great at evangelism, because of their inability to hold people, they were actually de-evangelizing their neighbourhood. Those who were leaving were almost impossible to bring back into any community of faith.
The senior pastor realized that something had to be done, so he called up that last 12 people to be baptized and invited them to supper at his house. These were all new Christians and very excited to be invited to the Pastor’s house. After supper he sat them down and asked if they wanted to know the future. They all said “yes!” So he said, statistically speaking in the next 2-3 years… two of your marriages will have broken up and the shame will cause you to leave the church, three of you will have a conflict with someone in the church and you will leave the church, one will have a tragedy and lose faith and leave, two will have a moral failing and leave, and two will lose interest and drift away. In two to three years, out of this group only two of you will be attending church, and only one of you at this church. There was dead silence in the room. All these wide eyed Christians were about to say “surely not I, Lord.” When one of them spoke up and said What can we do to change the statistics. The pastor said, you can get together and as a group decide that you are not going to let anyone go.
That is exactly what they did – these strangers formed a small group and supported each other through the tragedies, divorces, conflicts and failings and in four years, only one had left the church never to come back. The church went from losing 10 out of every 12 converts to losing only one.
Don’t you want that? I do – but the only way it will happen is if we keep the main thing the main thing and we follow Jesus command to LOVE ONE ANOTHER as he gave in John 13:34.
John 13:34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
That’s why one of the 3 priorities of our church is Small Groups: We are determined to care for each other through small groups. For it is in small groups, meeting in individual homes every week, that each of us has the opportunity to get to know others and to be known by others. And only in so doing will we come to LOVE one another in the ways the Bible talks about.
When it talks about loving each other – it’s not just a feeling – it is rooted in specific actions. I’d like to take a few minutes and look at some of these scriptures. These scriptures will inform us of what we should be working toward and what we should expect to find in a small group.
There are over 21 commands and I won’t go into detail in all of them, but here are some of the major ones…
• Accept one another (Rom. 15:5-7)
Romans 15:5-7 (NLT) May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other--each with the attitude of Christ Jesus toward the other. 6Then all of you can join together with one voice, giving praise and glory to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
7So accept each other just as Christ has accepted you; then God will be glorified.
CTK Small groups are to be a place where we accept each other just as Christ accepted us. How is that? He gave of his time and his energy to people BEFORE they figured everything out. He communicated God’s love to people even though they might not have made the best choices. When he was at a party – he was the life of the party. People wanted to be around him because he accepted people.
At the same time – this acceptance called people to a higher standard. He inspired people to live lives of faith. To stop sinning. To live lives of generosity and service.
So it is to be in CTK small groups. There is “Always a place for you.” Regardless of your background, we’re here to express the same acceptance Jesus has offered to each of us. And we’re here to help point your life onto higher ground!
APPLICATION: WE ALL must be inviting and welcoming new people at church and at small group.
• Encourage one another (1 Thess. 5:11)
1 Thessalonians 5:10-11 (NLT) He died for us so that we can live with him forever, whether we are dead or alive at the time of his return. 11So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.
We’ve got a great future, and a great hope in Jesus Christ. But the pressures of this world and all the stress of our hectic lives can take our focus off of that and make us lose our joy and our courage to keep living for Christ.
That’s why Paul wrote to his friends – “Encourage each other and build each other up.” Remind each other of what is important in life! Remind each other of the promises God has given to us. Don’t let the world beat down your excitement in following Jesus – but build up each other’s faith by speaking words of encouragement to each other!
In a CTK small group, one thing you can expect to find is people who are looking for ways to help encourage each other in the ongoing struggle to live for Christ in a hostile culture.
• Bear with and forgive one another (Col. 3:13-15)
Colossians 3:13-15 (NLT) You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14And the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love. Love is what binds us all together in perfect harmony. 15And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are all called to live in peace.
One thing you can expect to find at a CTK small group is imperfect people being led by an imperfect leader. Sometimes someone might make a mistake. They might say the wrong thing. They might drop the ball and forget to call when you needed it. They might forget your name!
But in the midst of all of this imperfection, what you’ll find is a group of people just like you. You’ll find people striving to discover God’s will for their lives and to live it out. You’ll find people who are ready to forgive you for your failings because they know they aren’t perfect themselves.
• Submit to one another (Eph 5:21)
Ephesians 5:21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
I was talking to someone this week about an important decision he had made impulsively. He then came to regret this decision and had to change direction. What he said to me really stuck in my mind. He said, among other things, “I didn’t ask for my small group’s input.”
In that one quick sentence he showed that he realized he could have been a lot smarter if only he’d been willing to submit his plans to the approval of other believers who knew him and were encouraging him to live as a disciple of Jesus Christ. He realized that if he had been willing to share his plans with the group, and then wait for their input and take their advice to heart he could have saved himself and the others involved a lot of pain.
At a CTK small group you can expect to find people who will prayerfully seek God’s best for you and the situations your find yourself in. You can also expect that others will need your input – which is a humbling reason to remain close to God and be reading His word.
(which leads right into the next “one another” command…
• Serve one another (Gal. 5:13)
Galatians 5:13 (NLT) For you have been called to live in freedom--not freedom to satisfy your sinful nature, but freedom to serve one another in love.
Christ has set us free from bondage to rituals and regulations and the tyranny of performing good works to earn his favor. We’re free! But as Paul writes to his friends here he points out that we’re to use that freedom to SERVE one another.
That’s why at a CTK small group you’re going to find people who love to demonstrate their love for each other by helping each other. Small groups are there for each other. Just this week I heard of a woman who had to go to the ER. Who do you think she left her kids with? Someone from her group.
This week someone in my group was moving – guess who helped out? We did!
We don’t serve one another because we have to – we do it because we love one another and we’re a family – and that’s what families do!
• Honor one another (Rom. 12:10)
Romans 12:10 (NLT) Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other
How do we honor each other in CTK small groups?
We listen to each other.
We keep confidential matters confidential. (“What happens at small group stays at small group!”)
We defend each other.
We refuse to gossip about each other.
This is just a taste of the more than 50 times in the New Testament we are given a command about how to live out the love that Jesus told his disciples to have for each other. If you want more – I’ve put a study sheet on the website attached to this message, and I’ve put copies of it on the info table.
But I’ve talked enough – I’d like to give you a chance to share how YOUR life has been changed for the better because you’ve been in a small group.
OPEN IT UP FOR SHARING OF TESTIMONIES.
There is one other aspect to CTK small groups that is part of our culture and our vision for changing the spiritual landscape of our community.
• CTK small groups multiply.
Our vision as a church is to see a prevailing, multi-location church emerge that will transform the spiritual landscape. This church will convene in hundreds of small groups, with worship centers strategically located in every community.
The way we are going to change the spiritual landscape of our community is when we have the courage to move beyond our current borders and comfort zones and push into new territory by reaching out and inviting more people to be a part of what the Lord is doing.
And the only way we can effectively reach more people with the love, acceptance, and forgiveness of Jesus is by having room for them in new groups. That’s why we challenge every group to see as part of it’s mission to birth a new group every year. It’s why we challenge every group leader to be actively praying for and developing an apprentice leader who can begin leading a group in the near future.
This vision for multiplication is something I felt God calling me to put my energy toward last year – and we launched a 6 year plan called “100 by 2010” in which we are believing God for 100 multiplying small groups on Whidbey Island by the year 2010.
Praise God for the faith of new group leaders who have started new groups or taken over when a leader left: Hugh and Terra Beresford, Dick & Jan Johnson, Dave & Tricia Reynolds, Sam & Nicole Hook (2 times!), Mike & Ashlie Unruh, Tom Montanaro, Patty Ransford, Joe & Liza Saville, Terry Krueger, Sheryl Terrell
Praise God for the faith of leaders whose groups multiplied last year or who raised up an apprentice to replace themselves: Jim and Diane Cochran, Ken & Janet Mann, Amy Obney. Dean & Kriss Leadbetter, and our group.
Here’s the progress so far…
Date Goal Reality
Jan-04 15 15
Jan-05 22 22
Jan-06 33
Jan-07 45
Jan-08 60
Jan-09 80
Jan-10 100
If 50% of groups multiplied each year…
Jan-04 15
Jan-05 22
Jan-06 33
Jan-07 49
Jan-08 73
Jan-09 110
Jan-10 165
APPLICATION:
Need to challenge people to go out of their comfort zone.
• Not in a group join a group
• Not helping lead become an apprentice
• Leading but no apprentice pray for and recruit an apprentice
• In a group but not inviting invite someone
• Group hasn’t multiplied in over a year begin praying/planning for multiplication in fall.
My action step: _________________________________________
We can change the spiritual landscape of our community. We can change the destiny of the people on this Island. But it will only happen when we are willing to leave the comfort of the familiar and step out in faith. Will you join me?
