Anger Tactics 1/13/2005
Ephesians 4:26-27
I came up with the title of my sermon today from a show that I have watched called, “Scare Tactics”. On this show people are set up in different situations where they have things set up to scare people and when they get them to the place where they need a change of pants. Then they ask them if they are scared. When they say yes they say they shouldn’t be because they are on the TV show scare tactics.
So with saying that, let me ask you the same question. Are you angry? Then should you be angry or should you not be? Is it wrong to be angry? Are there times when it all right to be angry?
I have heard anger mentioned in a sermon or two, but I cannot remember ever hearing a whole sermon or the subject of anger, but today this will be our topic.
This is a common denominator that all of us carry. For some it appears at a flick of a hat and for others it has to be drug out of them. It effects all ages from a baby who is angry because they are hungry and you are not feeding them as fast as what they like. We’ve all seen babies who are screaming bloody murder till that bottle hits their mouth and then instantly they are happy again.
You have children who have what we call temper tantrums. One of my favorite Andy Griffith shows was the episode of “Opie and the spoiled rotten kid” where Opie is not really angry, he is just pretending to be angry to get his way by lying on the floor and screaming and kicking his feet. And you have the 911 Nanny shows now where the Nanny comes in and handles the temper tantrums.
And as we enter into adulthood these temper tantrums still follow us around. Now as we get older and wiser we learn to control that temper more but it’s still lingers and show itself from time to time. You may or may not know it, but at one time I was someone one who had a horrible temper. I was ready to fight over the stupidest of things with my main one being road rage and I still struggle with that more than I like.
In resent months, attending some basket ball games that my sons participated in, I’ve seen the anger from the lynch mob parents who are so angry they are ready to get the rope and find a tree for those guys in the stripped shirts. That is a real good example to be setting before our kids.
So we all struggle with anger. We all have our pet peeves that light our fuse and set us off. So this morning I want to cover the following things.
1. Is it a sin to be angry?
2. How do we know which anger that is all right and which one is wrong?
3. And how can we control that anger.
So lets start with the first question. Is it a sin to be angry?
I’m sure in our minds all of us have already answered that question. No. Our text even says, “Be angry and do not sin”. You have people who say that it cannot be a sin because God made them that way. Maybe they are a red head or they are Irish.
The answer is no, anger is not allways a sin. But it is when you don’t control your anger and your anger controls you is when it becomes a sin.
The best example to this would be in looking at God Himself. And I will do that in two parts. The first is did God get angry in Heaven? Yes. In Exodus 4:14 you read about God being angry with Moses. God appeared to Moses in the form of a burning bush and He spoke to Moses and said that He wanted him to lead the children of Israel out of their bondage. Moses began to make excuses, “what if they won’t believe?” God gave him the rod into a serpent, the hand in the bosom turning in leprous, and then He gave him the turning of the Nile River into blood. Three signs for their unbelief.
Then Moses came up with another excuse. “I am slow of speech”. God then reminded Moses who made his mouth. But Moses still requested for God to send someone else. And God got angry and said in verse 14 So the anger of the Lord kindled against Moses, and He said: “Is not Aaron the Levite your brother? I know that he can speak well. And look, he is also coming out to meet you. When he sees you, he will be glad in his heart.
That goes to show you that God will never ask you to do something without providing the means and the method to do it. He had already prepared Aaron and he was already on his way to meet Moses.
And not only did God get angry with individuals but Nations as well. And do you know what Nation that He got angry at the most? Israel. God’s chosen people, the ones that He had done so much for and yet then continued to mess up. You can read about it all through the Old Testament. They all read something like this, Numbers 25:3a “and the anger of the Lord was aroused against Israel.”
And the second part is this. Did Jesus get angry while walking here on this earth?
Now when we think about Jesus getting mad, most think about the encounter of Jesus throwing out the moneychangers in the Temple that is recorded in all four of the Gospels. We read about the tables being turned over and a whip being made and Jesus driving them out of the Temple. But as I read all of the Gospels it does not say that He got mad. He was firm and I guess He made His point known but it does not say that He did it in anger.
But we read about the healing of the man who had the withered hand on the Sabbath in Mark 3:5 And when He had looked around at them with anger, being grieved by the hardness of their hearts, He said to the man, “Stretch out your hand” And he stretched it out, and his hand was restored as whole as the other.
So if God became angry in Heaven and Jesus did while here on earth then all anger cannot be a sin, because God is sinless. So that leads me to my second question.
How do we know which is the anger that is all right and which one is wrong?
There are times when it is ok to be angry. And not just ok, but we should be angry. When someone is doing something that is against the will of God, then we should be angry. When millions of unborn babies are being slaughtered and we are calling it the rights of the mother to choose, then we should be angry. What about the rights of the baby? And when we have the drugs running rapid on our streets and the molestation of our children, we should be angry.
But remember love the sinner, hate the sin. If you don’t control your anger it will affect your testimony. You don’t yell and scream at someone when they are wrong, you love them and let the love of God convict them.
So how do you know what is the wrong anger? Let me give you just a few reasons that come to mind.
Without cause
Sometimes we just get angry and we don’t have any reason to be. We have a bad day and we want to take it out on someone else. We yell at the kids and kick the cat. We are angry because things are not going the way we want them to.
Proverbs 3:30 Do not strive with a man without cause, If he has done you no harm.
So it is a sin to be mad when you don’t have a reason to.
Angry at the person and not the injustice
This is what we talked about before. We get angry with someone who did not necessarily do anything to us. But we get angry with them for something they did. You see a young girl leaving the abortion clinic with a smile on her face and you get angry with her. Love the sinner, hate the sin.
You desire vengeance
This is a common saying, “Don’t get mad, get even”. But the problem is that is when we get even, we are taking matters in our own hands. We want to see that person suffer.
Romans 12:19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay”, says the Lord.
You have a unforgiving spirit
You get angry and hurt and then you want to carry that grudge. You have to realize that when you carry a grudge the only person that you are hurting is yourself. I’ve had people who have gotten mad at me and years latter I found out about it. I never knew they were mad at me to start with. So who were they hurting? I was not the one losing sleep.
The Bible says that we are to forgive and we will be forgiven. If someone makes you mad then whether they ask for your forgiveness or not, you need to forgive them.
Romans 12:20-21, Therefore if your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in doing so you will heap coals of fire on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
How can we control that anger?
We’ve determined that we all experience anger and we now know the types of anger that are wrong, so how do we control our temper? I recommend what I call the 4 “C’s”.
Consider why you are angry.
Just stop and ask yourself why am I angry? Do I have a reason? Did I over react? Was it something that was done as a deliberate attack on me? Like I said there are circumstances when we should get angry. But we need to gather all the facts first.
James 1:19-20, So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
We must remember that we must not let the anger control us but we need to keep control of our anger. Which is my second point.
Control your anger.
After you slow down and consider why you are angry, think before you do anything about it. We need to renounce the devil and say not this time. You are not getting me to sin. We control our anger by following the example that Jesus did. Forgive as Jesus forgave. Draw neigh to Him and He will draw neigh to you.
Proverbs 16:32, He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.
Confess your anger.
When we get angry we need to confess our anger. Not only to God but if possible to the person or persons who you got angry at. If you are a Christian and you get angry with someone and don’t make amends for it, you could effect the decision of where someone will spend eternity. If you are angry with someone who is lost, then that is not showing them the love of Christ. If you get angry with a brother or sister in Christ, then you don’t know what unsaved person is watching you or even if no one else is around you can upset the person that you are angry at to the point where they do not want to come back to church; which could result in their children or grandchildren never accepting Christ. And if you got angry publicly then ask for forgiveness publicly. I had a boss one time who would get mad at me in public and then apologize to me in private. While I knew it was ok, everyone else still thought that he was mad at me.
We need to set the example and humble ourselves to ask the person to forgive us as we take it to God and ask Him to forgive us as well.
Conquer your anger.
The secret to conquering our anger is found in our original text in Ephesians 4:26, “Be angry, and do not sin”; do not let the sun go down on your wrath”
In other words, get over it.
And if we don’t get over it then the next verse warns what can happen.
Ephesians 4:27, Nor give place to the devil.
By not getting over it you are just inviting Satan in for an opportunity to come in and make you upset. Make you loose your testimony. He will keep your mind so tied up with your anger that you will not be able to do what God has for you to do.
So how do we conquer it? By applying what is said in the last of the chapter.
Ephesians 4:31-32, Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
So in closing are you angry today? Maybe you are angry with God for some circumstance that has occurred in your life. He loves you so much that He gave His life for you.
Maybe you are angry at someone else. You need to confess it to God and then ask them to forgive you.
