Intro: Today is Father’s day. As a special tribute to all the fathers here today, I brought along a friend named “Billy Bass” who has some special advice for you. I know some of you men like to fish, and you may wish you had a trophy bass like Billy. But Billy has some words of wisdom to share. Being a father in today’s society is not easy. Billy, in light of all the pressures on these fathers here today, what words of wisdom would you give them? [Don’t Worry - Be Happy]
Far too often we take our fathers for granted. I’d like to read a thought from one of the most admired theologians of our day: Dear Abby. Now, I did not say she was always right, just that she is often sought out. But this time, she has some wise words to share.
#Read tribute to fathers
Far too often we don’t value our father’s advice until it is too late!
The Bible has a lot to say about Fathers. I’d like us to consider the role of a father this morning, and then we’ll look to see what that role might have to do with the organization of the church.
Turn with me to Proverbs 4. Read 4:1-13
I. The Job of Fathers: Instruction
A. Teaching - Here in Proverbs, as well as throughout the Bible, we find the job of fathers expressed. Now, often when we think of a father’s role, we think of the provider, the one who earns the bucks and buys the bread. We think of someone who always has whatever we need. Or, the other thing we often think of is the protector, the one who wears the bullet-proof vest and shields his family from all harm and danger.
#Ronda - spiders, ants - always calls me
These tend to be the two roles that society places great emphasis on. Yet, proverbs gives us another role: that of a teacher. So often we think of the mother as the teacher for our children. We think the husband goes out and works hard and the mom stays home and teaches the kids. But that’s not what we find as the pattern given in scripture. Here we see that the father is one who offers instruction.
4:4 - A father’s instruction is life-giving. When fathers function in their God-given role, children are given a pattern to follow.
13:1 - tells us A wise son heeds his father’s instruction, but a mocker does not listen to rebuke. Those who are wise will heed their father’s instructions.
How are fathers to offer instruction? Does this mean that dads need to take off work, and stay home to homeschool their children. No. Look at Deuteronomy 6. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door-frames of your houses and on your gates.
God tells us the instruction takes place in everything you do with your children. Walking along the road, watching TV, going to the mall, going on vacation, going out to a restaurant. We are constantly taking advantage of opportunities to teach our children truth. In our homes, we have visible reminders, pictures, scripture on the walls to teach Biblical truth.
#mom - plaques - 1 Peter 5:7 - Casting all your care upon him, for he careth for you
Prov. 6:20 tells us this is to be a way of life. My son, keep your father’s commands and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. Bind them upon your heart for ever; fasten them around your neck. When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you. For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way to life.
What is the job of a father? It is to provide instruction and training for his children. I think in our society we have gotten away from fathers involved in the life of their children. Dr. Urie Bronfenbrenner wanted to determine how much time middle class fathers spent with their one year old kids. The fathers estimated 15 to 20 minutes. Microphones were placed on the shirts of the kids to find out the actual parental interaction. The average amount of time each dad spent with his kids was 37 seconds, an average of 2.7 daily encounters of ten to fifteen seconds.
Are we fathers willing to spend the time interacting with our children to train them in the ways of the Lord?
B. Discipline - The role of a father is also one of discipline. Proverbs 3:11-12 tells us that we receive discipline from the Lord, just as a father. My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.
Hebrews 12 also talks about the role of fathers in discipline. The Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son. Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? We have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
What is the purpose of discipline? It is to help us be righteous. We don’t enjoy it: neither from our earthly father or our heavenly father. Yet we all need it. Now, discipline is not necessarily correction or spanking or sitting in a corner. Sometimes it involves exercises in doing right. I remember talking to a man who had fought in World War 2. In boot camp, his drill instructor would yell for the men to hit the dirt, and they would all fall down. Many people complained about it as a ridiculous exercise. But when they hit the beaches and the bullets were flying, the sergeant yelled to hit the dirt, and they did, and they lived, because they had developed discipline in their lives.
In our lives, we need more discipline. We need to prepare ahead of time for the challenges we will face. One of the roles of a father is to develop discipline in his children’s lives.
C. Tenderness - a third role of instruction that comes from a father is tenderness. We often don’t think about this aspect. I was listening to someone on the radio this week stating that in homes where the fathers were willing to show a gentle and affectionate relationship to their children, the children turned out with a much healthier attitude toward sexual matters. We have a society of fathers who can’t express love to their children; so their children look elsewhere for love. Fathers, when is the last time you told your children you loved them and gave them a big hug and kiss? I don’t care how old they are! And children, when is the last time you told your father and mother you loved them and gave them a big hug and kiss?
A key verse from Ephesians 6 about the role of fathers: Fathers, don’t make your children angry by the way you treat them, but bring them up in the nurture and instruction of the Lord.
We are to be careful not to be too overbearing with our children, but to be tender and gentle with them, nurturing them and caring for them.
The role of the father is instruction: through teaching, discipline, and tenderness.
II. The role of Spiritual Fathers: Teaching / Discipling
In the same way that fathers are to be teaching their children, so also in the church, we need to see this same impartation of learning taking place. We’ve been talking in the last few weeks about the purpose of the church. You might have thought that we had broken off from this, but we haven’t. The purpose of the church is worship, celebrating the presence of God; evangelism, communicating the message of God; and it is discipleship, developing the people of God.
In the church, those who are spiritually mature are to be developing those who are young in their faith. On Mother’s Day we talked about the role of older women to instruct the younger. In the same way the older men are to instruct the younger men. This is why in the church one of the terms for pastor is “elder” - not a term of age, but of spiritual growth and maturity.
Look at the example of Paul: he found Timothy, his son in the faith, and for several years poured his life into Timothy’s. Timothy grew under Paul’s instruction and input. Paul had much contact with him, even when he couldn’t be with him he would send him letters.
In the church, we need to be discipling others. We need to give them instruction. we need to offer discipline when necessary. And we need to be tender and gentle.
Concl: It is the purpose of every father to see his son or daughter grow up and leave home and establish a family of their own. It is our goal as spiritual fathers and mothers to see our spiritual children whom we are discipling to grow to be spiritually mature, to be growing themselves.
Growth begins with commitment. If you don’t commit to growing spiritually, you probably won’t!
Every church is known by what it is committed to: we can be committed to buildings or programs or prestige, or we can be committed to training others in knowing and applying the word of God to our lives. We need to be committed to helping others grow in their faith and walk for God.
Growth does not come overnight. You don’t wake up one day and find out that you have grown a foot or two. In the same way spiritual growth takes time. We need to decide our priorities if we wish to grow. If the TV is a priority or NASCAR or Movies or bowling - we will not grow as we should. Spiritual growth involves developing spiritual habits or disciplines:
A daily time with God - prayer & Bible study
A weekly tithe for God
A committed part of a team for God
May each of us be committed to growing spiritually mature. May each of us be committed to helping others grow in their walk with God. May God help the fathers here to choose to fulfill their God given role in the family. May God enable each of us to be empowered by his spirit for the tasks ahead of us.
Shall we pray.
