A Question of Balance
Some of you may be sufficiently old enough to remember the Moody Blues album ‘A Question of Balance’. In it, the songs speak of the desire to find a balance in life, in society, in the world. And although that album was produced over thirty years ago, nevertheless I’m sure that many of us would understand that desire to get a balance in our lives. The sad news is that most of us are struggling to achieve it.
First some bad news.
The Chartered Management Institute conducted a survey in May 2004. The Business Energy Survey questioned over 1,500 managers
§ 20% of managers work an extra 14 hours more than they’re paid for, effectively equating to a seven day week.
§ 43 per cent feel that they are overloaded with work
§ 4 in 10 managers admit to missing family commitments because of work pressure
§ 35 per cent admit to having no energy on weekday evenings because of work
§ 24 per cent of people admit to using the weekend solely to recover from work
§ Only half (53 per cent) claimed to use their full holiday entitlement, (66 per cent last year.)
The way we work is killing us and killing our relationships. This is ’bad’ but if you’re in work it’s probably not news. The indicators have been going downhill for years.
Take, for example, some research from the Institute of Management. Across five key lifestyle measures the results were far worse in just two years:
%’97 %’99
No time for other interests 77 87
Damaging health 59 71
Affects relationship
- with children 73 86
- with partner 72 79
Reduces productivity over time 55 68
And this is affecting just about everyone – including those who don’t work. Research among under 30s suggested that 6 out of 10 feel stressed because of their workloads. There are reports concerning the stress levels in children who are under pressure to achieve the latest government targets. The dynamics of work are affecting every aspect of life. How we work has a profound impact on every area of life and this goes some way to explaining the increasingly high percentage of people on anti-depressants, and the record levels of people who are anxious and ’negatively stressed.
There are times when we seem to be in crisis. And the crisis is not primarily an economic crisis, but is this: how can we flourish economically and still have lives worth living? It is a question of balance.
Sounds familiar?
A life out of balance
Our reading this morning was from Psalms 127 and 128, and you may wish to turn to them with me (page 618). To quote Stevie Wonder, many of the psalms can be described as ‘Songs in the Key of Life’. And these two Psalms are very much in the key of life. They speak to a life which is out of balance. They speak to the life of the worrier, workaholic and to those whose lives feel worthless and pointless. They are a word for those who cannot see beyond the pressures of getting through today.
Just look at the words that we find here. The keyword in these the first few verses is ‘in vain’ or useless. And I guess that there are many of us who at some time or other have felt that our lives have become unbalanced so that we feel that much of what we do is in vain, or useless. That much of what we do is worthless. There are many people who feel that as far as their lives are concerned their work is worthless. It is often the case that the overstressed and worried person will find that, however hard they work, they do not find satisfaction in the work they achieve. And many find that the pressures of their work situation mean that they feel inadequate as parents, knowing that they put far too little time in to spending with their families. My daughter reminded me of some information on the news not so long ago that fathers on average speak to their children for about three minutes a day. So the psalmist is writing very clearly about a life of uselessness.
In verse 2 we read about the life of overwork. We read about burning the candle at both ends. (getting up early and going to bed late) We saw earlier that overwork is a common complaint. We feel under pressure to put in the hours, to achieve the targets. In some jobs presenteeism is more of a problem than absenteeism. Women feel obliged to be perfect employees and perfect mothers. So even when we are not at work we feel we have to work hard. Our children are under pressure to achieve ever increasing educational targets, and as they get older suffer the pressure of increasing student debt. As parents we feel under pressure to provide for our children’s educational needs. A computer, broadband Internet connection, and so on. And in order to achieve it we need to do over time to provide the extra cash.
And then in the background we live a life of underlying anxiety. We worry about our situation. Many people suffer deep anxiety about their work and life. (RSV: V2. eating the bread of anxious toil). We worry about job security, we worry about the security of our pension fund, we worry about money, we worry about knowing that we are failing, we worry about how they are going to juggle the 101 issues of just the next week. And if our jobs are lousy and full of pressure, we worry about going back to work on it we go away on holiday. Is it any wonder so many are depressed?
Sounds familiar?
A life in balance
Well, you have had the bad news. So let’s move on to the good news. Because the good news is that it is to exactly this kind of situation that the psalmist writes. It is exactly to this kind of situation that he proposes a way forward.
The first thing that he says is that we have to put our heart in the right place. In the Hebrew, the expression in Ps127: 1 to ‘build a house’ not only refers to the literal sense of a sense of erecting a structure, but can also mean to build up a family. It is a sort of pun. The Psalmist is saying that whatever it is you are trying to build in your life, whether it is your work, or your security, or whether you are trying to build a family, it is in vain, it is worthless unless it is built with the Lord God at the heart of the process. Your work, of whatever kind it may be, maybe so productive that it builds the equivalent of a city, but unless the Lord God is there at the heart of that process, then it has no security. Unless Lord God is at the heart of it, it is worthless, it is in vain. And this where we see the two Psalms working together. For the ‘in vain’ of Ps127: 1 is balanced by the ‘blessed’ of Ps128: 1. ‘Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in his ways.’ Blessed is a much deeper and more complete word than the word happy that is used in the church Bibles. So we need to put our heart in the right place.
Secondly, we need to put our relationships in the right place. Ps127: 3 talks about children being a gift from God and a real blessing. Ps128: 3 paints this wonderful picture of the fruitfulness of family life. We not talking about some romantic and unachievable ideal. We all know that if your children are like olive trees they are going to need pruning. Family life is not meant to be a burden, but is a great gift from God. So we need to put our relationships in the right place.
Thirdly, we need to put our work in the right place. Mankind is naturally very creative. We love to build. We love to create. And its clear that God made us to work productively, creatively. But we need to keep our work, our building, and our creativity in perspective. We need to put our work in the right place. So often we work for the wrong reasons and in the wrong way. Just look at the structure of the verse. It is clear that work is meant to be in partnership with God. There is no division between our secular work and our spiritual life. Our working lives are part of Gods work in us just as much as anything else. Our work is meant to be in the right place with God.
A balancing act (or how to walk the high wire!)
The psalmist has outlined the principles for us. However, how do we put the principles into practice? How do we achieve this balancing act of life? How do we walk the high wire without falling off (too often)?
I am told that in order to walk the high wire, you need to focus on the objective, and certainly not look down. And as we walk the high wire of life, as we try to live a live of balance, we need to keep ourselves focussed on God. It seems to me that a satisfactory work-life balance can only be based on sound God-me relationship. You can only put your heart in the right place when you have any right and committed relationship with God. The psalmist describes this as a walk, (128.1) walking along in life with God. And it is walking in his ways, and not ours, that matters. That walk is focussed on God. It is a walk that has God at its heart.
On the high wire, it’s no good looking down. You need a different perspective. Now when life is tough, it is sometimes difficult to see more than the immediate problems and situations. I talked earlier in the year about the importance of gaining Gods perspective, in respect of both Nehemiah, and Elijah. You may remember that Elijah (1Kgs 19) felt that everyone was against him; he was alone against the world. He needed to put his concerns into God’s perspective. You see, he knew that his understanding of issues and situations was necessarily limited. He knew that God has a much different view of situations and problems. And as he walked with God, he gained Gods perspective. So we need to walk with God.
We talked earlier about the word play of ‘building’ in the psalm. Let take that a stage further. If I build a house to my own design, it will reflect all to obviously the quirks and imperfections of my design capability. Even if I ask someone else to design my house, it will reflect their preconceptions and prejudices. But if my God is truly God, with all that that implies, then if I build a house to his design, it should be absolutely right for my needs.
And so it is with our lives. We usually build the house of our lives to a complex mish-mash of designs cobbled up as we go along. Even as Christians, we do this, but we do the holy thing and ask God to bless it afterwards. Or else we go along with other people’s designs. We take on board the prevailing philosophy of the world around us and try to build the same way as everyone else. And yet we so readily ignore the fact that other people’s designs are no better than ours and are often worse. All around us we see the building of the house of peoples lives collapsing. And so often we continue to try to emulate them. We try to follow other people’s designs.
But if we want to build the house of lives properly, in a balanced way, we have to build to the design of God. We have to go back to the original design. We have to go back to the designer. We have to humbly admit to him that his design is better than ours. That will almost certainly mean change. But I cannot emphasise too much the importance of doing this. I cannot emphasise too much the importance of going back to God to seek his way for your life. This is the key to a balanced life.
For unless we build our relationships and family life with God, and give them the priority they deserve, our building will be in vain.
And if we have a right relationship with God, we will be building with him in our work. If we have a right relationship with God, we will actually trust him to provide. The lord provides (127:2). If we have a right relationship with God and our families, we will understand that our work is to provide for our needs only. We don’t need to work to justify our existence, protect ourselves, or to provide our security. Because we see that if God is not protecting us, anything else we do is in vain.
But when the Lord is at the heart, when the Lord God is crucial to the building, to the security, to the work, then the benefits are clear. The implication of the first few verses of Ps 127 is that such work is of great value, such work is of great worth, such work is of great blessing. For we see in Ps128v 3 that ‘blessed is everyone who fears the Lord’. That is to say, everyone who has the ‘Lord God’ at the heart of what they do. Everyone who has the Lord God at the heart of everything in which they are involved will be blessed. For in contrast to the work of Psalm 127 verse 3, which is the work of anxious toil, the work which leads to no blessing and no happiness, in Ps 128 v2 we are reminded that we shall eat the fruit of the labour of our hands when we fear the Lord, when we walk in his ways. We shall be happy and it will be well with us when we fear the Lord, when we walk in his ways.
These psalms were meant to be sung while walking up to Jerusalem, to the temple. And they were meant to be sung by a group of people. Community singing, if you like. As we walk with God, we do not walk alone. We walk with others. We walk with friends. I want to assure you that you’re not alone in this. The way you are feeling is not an aberration, or a sign of weakness. Indeed, it is nothing new. Its quite clear that the kinds of problems we face are much the same as those people have faced through the ages. The situations may be different, but the basic principles are not. All of us, including the rector, and all the ministry team, have difficulties in balancing our lives. But we walk with friends, who love us, and care for us, and help us.
If you are really struggling at this very moment, then I want to tell you that there are people here who are prepared to help you. It may be that you simply want somebody to pray with you in a very broad and non-specific way. That’s okay. It may be that things are more complicated. I know from my own experience that sometimes when you’re in the thick of it is difficult to know what to do at all. It may be that you need somebody to talk through things with. It may be that you actually need someone to help you find practical ways to get to grips with all the things the crowd in on you at this very moment. To help you take just the next single step. Then please come and see me or Mark or anyone else that you know and trust here and ask for help. Now, I know from bitter experience that when your life is seriously out of balance, even the idea of trying to get your life back in balance is seriously overwhelming. The best way to tackle the high wire is one step at a time. The important thing is to do something about it. Just one step at a time.
God’s desire is that we should be blessed. God’s desire is that we should have that contentment, that happiness, that security that comes from walking in close relationship with him. But we can only walk with him when we take a step. If your walk with God doesn’t exist yet, then I would ask you to think about taking a first step today.
May be your walk with God has been going on for a while. But may be your walk has got a bit a bit wobbly, may be your life gone a bit wobbly too. If your life is out of balance this morning, then take some time right now to renew your walk. Take a new step this morning. However shaky that step may be let us all renew our walk with God. For it as only we walk with God that we can live a life in balance.
Powerpoint presentation available
