Seeking Clear Hearts
December 26, 2004
would like to invite you to look at the chart which was handed out. It is rather simple, but helps us all understand how God would have us treat each other when disagreements arise. Please note, I did not say “if” disagreements arise, but “when”. In the matter of relationships between human beings there can be but three certainties – they begin, they end, and in the middle there is a tension that either brings us closer or drives us apart. God wants us closer; Satan wants us divided. Beloved, that is a tie vote – each of us carries a ballot that will make the difference in our relationships.
Conflict between brothers.
I. PRIVATE MEETING to get facts straight.
Possibilities from first meeting:
1. Reconciliation....no further action necessary.
2. Guilt uncovered, apology offered, forgiveness extended...reconciliation...no further action, unless conflict has somehow become public. In this case, public statement or meeting to quench gossip. Rumor-passers must publicly acknowledge & request (& receive) forgiveness.
3. Guilt uncovered, but no repentance; requires...
II. SEMI-PRIVATE MEETING to continue reconciliation attempts. Meeting should be with one or two spiritually-mature individuals who are generally revered to have wisdom.
Possibilities from second meeting:
1. Repentance is demnonstrated, forgiveness requested and extended. Brothers reconciled.
2. Still no repentance; requires...
III. FULL ASSEMBLY MEETING to achieve reconciliation or separation.
Possibilities from final meeting:
1. Repentance and request for forgiveness -- these extended and received. Reconciliation.
2. Still no repentance...church body excommunicates unrepentant party.
THE MEANING OF JESUS’ WORDS
Our Lord gave us some direct commands…
• Going in His name to make disciples, baptizing (Matthew 28:18-20)
• Observing the Lord’s Supper (1 Corinthians 11:24)
• Following by denying self and taking up the cross daily (Luke 9:23)
One of the most important aspects we need to see about God’s plan for believers who have disagreements is that when believers experience conflict, every box (step) in that chart flows in the direction of restoration of relationships. Contrary to the “witch-hunt” stories about kicking people out of church – God designed this to facilitate the health of believers by repairing relationships. It is important to see why Jesus gave this process to us; it is vitally important that we understand the process to be done the way Jesus said it was to be done.
Incidentally, there is a whole other methodology for dealings with pagans, unbelievers. This is for Christians. The church must listen and obey, because this is one of those commands from our Lord and Master; it is not optional.
Notice the steps:
Step ONE
A disagreement happens – the one who senses the offense is to immediately go to the other believer.
In our text (Matthew 18), Jesus lays the responsibility on the one who “feels” offended. But in Matthew 5:23-24 he tells his followers that if you sense your fellow-believer has a beef against you, you are to go to him quickly. Jesus even puts it in the context of being in church when the offering plate is passed. He said (paraphrased), drop your check in the plate, get up immediately – even before the choir sings – and go be reconciled to your brother. Nothing should get in the way of that first, private meeting.
Step TWO
In the private meeting with your fellow-believer there can be one or two outcomes. One possibility is that you reconcile with each other, meaning you come to an understanding which is satisfactory to both, and have “clear hearts” about the offense being blotted-out. The other possibility is that you remain deadlocked, each with a different opinion that leaves one or both of you cold and unforgiving towards each other.
In the first case – clear hearts – there is nothing else to do; fellowship has been restored. In the case of deadlock, there should be (at least) a second try, this time with the help of impartial and spiritually-wise believers, two or three at the most. Both the “offended” and “offender” are to be present. There is no proxy reconciliation. All parties must hear and be heard. If one will not come to the reconciliation table, THAT believer is presumed to be in the wrong.
It is the same in our justice system in America. If you are accused, and fail to appear in the court, you will be judged guilty. You have a right to a defense, but you must participate.
Once again, if “clear-hearts” can be achieved, fellowship restored, there is no other mention of the disagreement. If deadlock persists, there is need for:
Step THREE
The church disciplinary meeting is for all the believers in the local assembly to make a final decision. Upon hearing the grievances and the responses, the church is to decide between right and wrong. All believers, offended, offender, and all the assembly is to take the result of this decision and treat it as the only way to “hearts all clear”.
The reality of this is found in the way people act after the decision. The way Jesus framed this, any believer in the assembly who will not either believe the decision or behave in accordance with it is to be treated as one who does not belong to Christ.
AN IMPORTANT CONSIDERATION ABOUT THE PROCESS
Friends, you cannot do this process Jesus gave us in Matthew 18 by throwing-out verses 15-16, (private and semi-private attempts to reconcile), and go right to verse 17 (taking it to the church). We are Baptists; we do Bible things in Bible ways…not to suit us, but to please Christ.
A doctor once gave me a prescription. He told me to do some things to get better; he said:
1. fill the prescription,
2. go home,
3. take the medicine, and
4. go to bed.
I could have heard the last phrase, “go to bed” and just lay down on his examining table to snooze. I would still be sick, or dead. No, I had to follow the process, in the order the doctor prescribed – then I would begin to get better.
We have a Great Physician – Jesus, who has given us a prescription. Believers are to first honestly face each other privately, committed to speaking the truth in love to each other. Steps two and three are only to be taken if step one is followed. To do any less is to invite a church body full of sick relationships.
More than three years ago I preached a message similar to this on 1 Corinthians 5. It was entitled “The Choice Between Church Growth and Church Health”. At the end of the message I asked you to remember and do three things.
Now that we are about to enter a period of testing and spiritual challenge I want to offer those three things once again.
#1. Pray daily for each other, and for our spiritual health as a congregation.
• Corinth seems a long way from Thomasville, but it’s not!
• It is Satan’s job to disrupt our unity and ministry.
• He is good at it.
• Pray hard!
#2. Be committed to church discipline, knowing that it is the only loving response a community of believers can make.
• When it becomes necessary to enter the process of church discipline,
• re-read the passages,
• pray over the process,
• and support the God-given way of caring for the brother or sister.
#3. Pray especially for the leaders of our congregation.
• Every Christian is susceptible to sin, and even gross sin.
• However, church leaders are vulnerable and visible.
The Scripture tells us leaders are held to a stricter accountability. When a church pastor, deacon, Sunday School teacher, or other leader falls, it makes news in a hurry.
• I have lived through some church discipline circumstances. The church was always healthier in the long run, even when the process wasn’t perfect.
• I have lived through my parent’s discipline as a disobedient child. I was always better for it, even though they are not perfect.
• I have lived through my doctor’s discipline. I had my life saved by it, even though he wasn’t perfect.
• I have never liked any of the discipline events – doctor’s medicine, parent’s meddling or the church meetings. But, beloved, it is God’s way of making certain his church gets healthy, and stays that way.
In fact, it is a promise from Jesus upon which we depend. Immediately following this process for healing broken relationships, Jesus said,
19…That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. 20For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them. Matthew 18:19-20
Friends,
• We have the command of Jesus to seek clear hearts, not voting power.
• We have the promise of Jesus of power to reconcile through His process.
• We have the assurance of Jesus right in the middle of it, helping us, if we gather “in His name” doing Jesus things in Jesus’ ways.
I want no less; I trust you to join me in that! Amen!
