Opener: This week we reflect on David’s real life struggle with grief. With last week’s teaching on fear, and this week’s text focussed on the theme of grief it seems like we’re wading through some heavy waters aren’t we?
But this is good for us. Because I firmly believe that we (as followers of God) need to be a people of depth…a people of substance…and people who are able to embrace not only the joy’s of life, but also the sorrow’s of life. It’s quite fitting, then, that we have had a moment of silence today…and taken time to honor those who have fought for our country and also acknowledge the grief and the sorrow that families have gone through as they have lost loved ones in the midst of war…..
And sometimes silence is the best way to honor times of grief and sorrow….
And that’s what it means to be a people of depth…a people who are willing to walk deeper and acknowledge that life is not all about feeling good and feeling happy…
You and I have been called to be a non-anxious presence in the midst of a world that is all about temporal feelings. Do you realize that if we only deal with the happy things in life we’re only dealing with ½ of our lives?
So today as we walk through this text, there are 3 ideas that we can learn from David’s story that will help us to understand that there is a blessing for those who mourn….and yes, the mourning will be comforted (see Matt. 5: 4).
An aside: Did you read through the rest of 1 Samuel last week? I’m telling you…it’s an absolutely fascinating story isn’t it? Who says God’s Word is boring!!
· ch. 22: Saul goes on a killing spree, killing the priests of God
· ch. 23: Saul pursues David…he almost gets him and then gets distracted by another fight
· ch. 24: The infamous “Saul relieving himself in a cave” episode…David gets so close that he could have easily killed him, but instead only cuts off a corner of Saul’s robe….Saul is humbled…scared….acknowledged David’s kindness….and seems to be willing to back off his relentless pursuit
· ch. 25: David has a run in with Nabal and his wife Abigail….Nabal ends up dying after a wild party…and Abigail then becomes David’s second wife
· ch. 26: Saul is back in “I’m gonna kill ‘em” mode but once again David is able to spare Saul’s life while he & his men are in a “Lord-induced” slumber….of course, we see Saul repent again….promising not to harm David anymore…
· ch. 27: David is finally realizing that Saul is not to be trusted (interesting that he didn’t catch on a little earlier….like when Saul used to throw knives at him when he was his harpist?!?). At any rate, we see David return to Gath and find favour with King Achish who used to detest him….and he “sneakishly” becomes the King’s right-hand man…..interesting! The king thinks that David’s being noble and killing his enemies but instead David is actually killing off philistines!
· Ch. 28: Saul and the Witch of Endor….this in an incredible story….Saul is out of the Lord’s favour and is desperate to get some advice on his future battles….so Saul uses this witch to call Samuel from the grave (yikes!)….and Samuel shows up! And Samuel is NOT a happy spirit (This is the “spirit of Christmas past” gone bad!)…..the classic line here is found in v. 18-19: “Because you did not obey the Lord….tomorrow you and your sons will be with me.”
· Ch. 29-30: David gets released from King Achish’s regime….and goes to Ziklag only to find out that his people have been plundered and captured…and so he goes after the Amalekites and ends up getting everything back that was lost….including his 2 wives (v. 18 is sure to note this!)
· Ch. 31: The grand finale of Saul’s life…..the Samuel word comes true…..Saul goes into battle with his army and his boys….and he dies by his own sword…for fear that ending up in the hands of his enemies would be worse than death…Jonathan dies too….and the Philistines revel in the death of the first King of Israel….
And so this leads us into 2 Samuel, chapter 1….would things get any better for God’s people….and their new leader??
Before a new chapter would begin, there would need to be a season of sadness…
1) Embracing a season of grief (v. 1-12)
As we look at David’s response to the news of the death of Saul and Jonathan, we can be encouraged that David showed the proper response: he grieved.
What can we learn from David’s reactions here?
David is willing to embrace his sorrow (see v. 11)…He doesn’t play the strong and silent role that so many men feel is appropriate in intensely emotional situations. Instead, in keeping with his culture, he tears his clothes and he mourns….he weeps…and he fasts…from the time that he hears the news until the evening.
** Grieving but remembering justice (v. 13-16)
It’s interesting to note that this section of scripture isn’t all about grieving…how does David treat this messenger? David is devastated…but he’s not about to be snowed over by a con-man….
If you’ve read the last chapter of 1 Samuel you know that Saul didn’t die by the sword of someone else…Saul died by his own sword…(this is the Israel version of Hari-kari going on here). So somehow, David smells a rat here…(I believe this his Holy Spirit inspiration)…so in v. 13, after hours of mourning and weeping….David confronts the young messenger….and he calls his bluff. Perhaps this Amalekite messenger thought David would reward him for bringing the crown/armband of Saul…but David isn’t the vengeful leader that would glory in the death of his enemy…and so David flips the tables around on this Amalekite….
“Why were you not afraid to lift your hand to destroy the Lord’s annointed?”
- Uh oh….The amalekite’s hopes for a handsome bounty are down the tubes…and David has him put to death in order to bring about some justice for his willingness to pompously announce himself as the murderer of the Lord’s annointed.
* Have you ever been “taken in” by a con man? They play on your emotions and try to get you to give them something…
There’s a lesson to be learned here…something that deals with the fact that we can still be sober-minded, even in the midst of intense emotional upheaval….listen to the Lord’s voice…
2) Our Journey of grief needs to be shared/expressed to others (and to God)
In verses 17-27 we see that David writes a lament in order to express his grief. Here is a challenge to be creative and pro-active with our grief. We can’t just leave it bottled up in our souls!
If you’re the artistic type, then maybe you need to write something…or sculpt something…or sing something…
If you don’t lean that way, then perhaps you need to simply talk to someone…find a friend, find a support group…find some Christian community…
Another idea might be to try to go to a place of sacred space…
Ie: the prayer Labyrinth…walk and pray…listen to God
Ie: My personal experience of going to my mother’s burial site at the cemetary
What else can we learn from David’s lament? Let’s just spend a few moments, sifting through the content of this prayer:
· v. 19; 25; 27: Three times, he cries out: “How the mighty have fallen”…David is acknowledging, with a healthy humility, that times are changing…a pompous “up & rising” King would be tempted to say “The mighty (me) is rising!”… but David laments over the fact that Saul’s season has ended….and this is going to have radical ramifications up David’s life as he knows it [the call of God should strike healthy fear in our hearts shouldn’t it??]
· v. 23: David honors Saul and Jonathan….it shouldn’t surprise us that he honors his friend Jonathan…but it should (perhaps) surprise us that he honors his enemy Saul. David would have a bagload of reasons for not needing to honor Saul….but in his lament, it’s all about honor….and nothing to do with payback. Wow, that is very noble of David isn’t it?
· V. 26: Though he honors Saul….the highpoint of this lament is in honor of his friend Jonathan. He writes, “I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother, you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women.” Gentlemen….males….i’m going to pick on you for a moment here….is there anyone in your life who you would say this to? This is not a bible verse to support homosexual relationships….David already has 2 wives…it is very apparent that he doesn’t have problems with his sexuality…. But what this verse highlights is the appropriate and intimate relationship that men can have….a friendship that is built around more than talking shop….or talking about sports stats….or talking about things, or ideas….we need good healthy relationships with women/females……but to be balanced in our lives we need to have good healthy relationships with men/males……the radical thing about being a man AND being a follower of God is that we don’t have to fit into the cultural mould of what it means to be a man [the MAXIM man is NOT the biblical model for manhood!]…we can love freely….and love dearly….and move deeply in our relationships whether it be with other females….or whether it be with other males…
· V. 27: And David ends this lament once again affirming that times are changing….and as this season of his life would end, so would another season begin…” “How the mighty have fallen” = “Life as I know it is changing”….[I remember when my mom passed away…and my Dad looked at me and said, “It’s just you and me, now.”]. My life had changed…and there was no turning back the hands of time….
Are you going through a time of grief? Your healing will be found in the process of you looking to others / looking to God and sharing your grief.
The 3rd idea that I’d like us to consider this morning is a practical one for us as a community of faith…
3) How do we help others who are moving through a season of grief?
Perhaps you are not going through a season of grief. Unless you live in a bubble, then you will rub shoulders with those who are grieving. What can we learn from David’s story?
There are those in our community who are good at walking with those who are grieving. But…let’s not leave it to the professionals. Like I said last week…we need to be willing to help each other, whether we’re experienced in grief counselling or not…(I’m not saying that grief counsellors aren’t important) ….but we can all learn better ways of helping those who are coping with grief. Let’s not wait for someone “better” to take the first step…Maybe God is calling us to “be the one.”
Ø Often we want to leave it to the paid professionals to help us make it through…but don’t underestimate the ways of God…He’s the one who uses weak things and makes them strong…
Ø Larry Crabb speaks to this idea in his book “The Safest Place on Earth.” He says: “(If) the roots of psychological problems and personal battles have to do with one’s relationship to God….Why, then, do we turn to professionals?” Crabb then goes on to suggest that healing needs to sought after in healthy, Christian community. He points out that: “Spiritual people love. They have the wisdom to understand whatever is getting in the way of the Spirit’s working, and their motivation is not self-serving. They live to advance the kingdom for God’s glory. But spiritual community is rare. That’s why we have professionals. And rather than identifying our lack of spiritual community as a huge problem needing attention, we have tried to handle our problems in unspiritual community….Beneath everything from eating disorders and dissociative identity disorders, to feelings of irritability and occasional peeks at pornography, is a proud spirit of independence that is our foolish response to the terror of being alone. It is a bad spirit that only a good spirit can replace. When that is more clearly understood, perhaps our desire will be rekindled to see the word CHURCH defined as ‘spiritual community.’ ”
I appreciate these words from an music artist named Charlie Peacock - - he wrote the following song that highlights this idea of grieving and how we ought to comfortably allow for others to move through seasons of sorrow:
Now is the time for tears
Now is the time for tears
Don’t speak, save your words
There’s nothing you can say
To take this pain away
Don’t try so hard
You can just simply be
Cry with me, don’t try to fix me, friend
That’s how you’ll comfort me
Heavenly Father, cover this child with mercy
You are my helper through this time of trial and pain
Silence the lips of the people with all of the answers
Gently show them, now is the time
Now is the time
Now is the time for tears
Now is the time for tears
Don’t speak, save your words…
CONCLUSION: We are encouraged here to embrace our grief or be willing to enter into seasons of sorrow of those that are grieving.
Silence/Reflection:
· Be willing to let God soften your heart and allow you to grieve (no matter how long it’s been…you don’t have to “just get over it and move on”…and may God forgive us for times when we’ve perpetuated this idea! We will always carry in our hearts the sorrow of missing our loved ones BUT our hope is in knowing that we can place our hearts in the hands of a Gracioius God)
· Be open to the Holy Spirit’s leading…you are not called to comfort everyone…leave that to God…but God may be calling you to break the silence…and enter into someone’s grief and be willing to journey with them through a challenging season of life
Closing Prayer: Comforting God…minister to us…we all stand in need of you…gently break down the walls of pride and strength that often cover up hearts that are full of grief.
Merciful God…we know from your Word that you do not willingly afflict your children with grief and suffering…
And yet we do move through seasons of darkness…and seasons of grief…
And so we humbly ask that you would remember us in your mercy, nourish our souls with patience, comfort us with your goodness, lift your countenance upon us…and give us peace.
Through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.
