The Debt of Love
(Romans 13:8-14)
1. Newspaper columnist and minister George Crane tells of a wife who came into his office full of hatred toward her husband. "I do not only want to get rid of him, I want to get even. Before I divorce him, I want to hurt him as much as he has me."
Dr. Crane suggested an ingenious plan "Go home and act as if you really love your husband. Tell him how much he means to you. Praise him for every decent trait. Go out of your way to be as kind, considerate, and generous as possible. Spare no efforts to please him, to enjoy him. Make him believe you love him. After you’ve convinced him of your undying love and that you cannot live without him, then drop the bomb. Tell him that your’re getting a divorce. That will really hurt him." With revenge in her eyes, she smiled and exclaimed, "Beautiful, beautiful. Will he ever be surprised!" And she did it with enthusiasm. Acting "as if." For two months she showed love, kindness, listening, giving, reinforcing, sharing. When she didn’t return, Crane called. "Are you ready now to go through with the divorce?"
"Divorce?" she exclaimed. "Never! I discovered I really do love him." Her actions had changed her feelings. Motion resulted in emotion. The ability to love is established not so much by fervent promise as often repeated deeds.
J. Allan Petersen.
2. Romantic love, however, is very different from loving our children, brothers and sisters in Christ, neighbors, and enemies.
3. Although we fail sometimes in loving our spouses or children, we have an idea of what that sort of love should look like.
4. But when it comes to loving our fellow Christians in our church family, many of us do not have a clue. And few of us put much thought into the matter.
5. Not to worry. The Bible gives us plenty of help in learning to love others within a particular church family.
MAIN IDEA: When we present ourselves as a living sacrifice to God, we join the fellowship of those who choose to focus upon loving God and loving others. How to love can be confusing. We need some hands on principles about Biblical love.
Biblical Love does not just happen; it has to be nurtured.
I. Debt INTERFERES with Loving People (8a)
There was a man who had a unique way of paying bills. He was overextended and couldn’t pay all of them every month. One month, one of his creditors called him and demanded payment on a certain account. He said, "Look, the way I pay my bills is to put them all in a hat and pull five of them out. Now if you don’t quit bugging me, next month I won’t even put you in the hat!" (Source: Sermon Central)
1. When we are in debt, our ATTENTION is focused upon paying our bills. Our TIME, ENERGY, and FINANCES are bound.
2. When we are in debt, our potential for GENEROSITY has been reduced.
3. When we are in debt, the STRESS changes our lifestyle and disposition, straining our marriages and other relationships.
· Proverbs 22:7, “The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.”
· The principle: the freer you are, the more spiritual dexterity you have: 1 Corinthians 7:21, “Were you a slave when you were called? Don’t let it trouble you--although if you can gain your freedom, do so.”
4. Debt cannot always be avoided, but it affects our ABILITY to love others. It will turn you inward rather than OUTWARD toward others.
· Getting out of debt can be a chore; author Larry Burkett has a number of good books on the subject, and they are available in our church library or the public library
Biblical Love does not just happen; it has to be nurtured.
II. We OWE Love to Others, Especially Fellow Believers (8b-10)
1. The Word clearly states this (8b)
2. Our debts in Romans:
(1) to share the GOSPEL (1:14)
(2) to live a HOLY life (8:12)
(3) to pay TAXES (13:6)
(4) to love ONE ANOTHER (13:8)
3. The love God gives us is a TRUST; as stewards, we measure it out to others, beginning with our families and then our church family and Kingdom workers….
4. The command to love is GENERAL, the commandments of Scripture define love in SPECIFIC ways. Love is the forest, the commandments are the trees (9-10).
· Biblical love is defined by God’s Word
· We are not free to define love in our own way. That is the difference between those of us who hold to absolute truth and those who embrace situation ethics. People justify immoral or dishonest behavior in the name of love. The type of love God wants us to have is submissive to His Word.
· But love is best nurtured when we have compassion and concern for others, not when we try to invent a rule for every situation…
Well over 100 years ago, Charles Spurgeon put it this way, discussing how conversion can inadvertently make one self-absorbed:
“….One of the first works of the Holy Spirit is to make the man look at home, and to consider the condition of his own soul. When the Spirit of God has made a man thus to stand on his own footing before God, and to feel his personality, there springs up a danger that such a man may say, ‘I shall henceforth keep myself to myself. My chief business will be indoor work, to see after the righteousness of my own spirit and to keep myself prospering before the Lord. Other people must see to themselves, and I must see to myself.’
“The principle of individuality might be thus pushed to an extreme, till what at first was necessary grit in the spiritual constitution, making the man truly a man, may be so unduly increased that he becomes at last an unkind, ungenerous, cruel selfish thing, deprived of the best part of his humanity…’no man liveth unto himself,’ nor was he ever meant to do so. No man can compass the ends of life by drawing a little line around himself upon the ground. No man can fulfil his calling as a Christian by seeking the welfare of his wife and family only, for these are only a sort of greater self. There are outgoing lines of life that bind us not only with some men, but, in fact, with all of humanity…We are placed, therefore, in a most solemn position; and it is with regard to this that it is high time that we should awake out of sleep.”
(Source: “The Treasury of the Bible, Volume 7,” Baker Book House, 1981 p 112)
Biblical Love does not just happen; it has to be nurtured.
III. Loving God Takes Constant RENEWAL (11-14)
1. Assumption: we will have both PEAKS and VALLEYS in our walk with God
2. We become SLEEPY, BORED, and DISTRACTED; familiarity breeds contempt.
3. The call: WAKE UP because we are in the final era of God’s Kingdom before Jesus returns (11)
4. We are called to be soldiers and exchange OBSESSION with the things of this world for the armor of LIGHT (12b), Jesus Christ Himself (14).
· Spurgeon said, “Christ must be in us before He can be on us. Grace puts Christ within, and enable us to put on Christ without.
· To “put on Christ” means to give Him control of our decisions and lives, to be conscious of His presence, and to nurture our walk with Him; just as our clothing varies by size and style, so Christ wants to develop us each in our unique way; but however different we are, He wants a common attitude of surrender and joy in Him
· “do not think about how to gratify the flesh”
· We must get in the habit of putting up barriers and learning attitudes that help us avert sin
· Ray Stedman tells this story: “I had a friend who was a printer, and one day a man brought to him a ############ card to be printed, one of those filthy, lewd things, which he wanted printed for his personal use. He handed it to my friend, the printer, and he said, "I would like you to print this for me. I will pay you extra well for it." The man looked at the card, saw the nature of it, and handed it back, and said, "No, thank you. I don’t print this kind of stuff." The other fellow said, "Oh, come on now. Don’t try to pull this pious stuff with me. You know that you really enjoy this kind of thing. Just be honest." And the printer looked at him, and said, "You’re right. I do. I have a nature which likes to feed upon this kind of thing, but I don’t feed it!"
· Paul here addresses the human propensity to Sabotage….to set ourselves up for failure while making it look like we put up a good fight….. In the book, “Losing Control,” Roy Baumeister (and others) state that people who struggle controlling themselves “appear to seek out settings….that encourage the relinquishment of self-control.”
· Living a balanced life is a good guard against sin; Baumeister makes this statement about the strength it takes to regulate our behavior: “Strength is a limited resource that can be depleted by multiple, simultaneous demands.”
Biblical Love does not just happen; it has to be nurtured.
